This video has a little bit of just about everything in it. Harry Potter conspiracy theories, numerology, family slide shows, book sales pitches…and that’s just the first 10 minutes.
Category Archives: Preachers
A Lone Voice Of Truth
Although there may be many things that a fundamentalist pastor will instruct his congregation to do, ” get a second opinion” will never be among them. For a fundamentalist, truth is not found by listening to all the evidence and getting as many perspectives as possible. To the contrary, it is only when a person has finally shut out all voices but one that he may be sure that he has found the absolute, total and perfect truth. Truth is just another word for no dissent.
Like the man who wears two watches, how can anyone be sure that he has the truth if more than one point of view is present? It is so much simpler to subscribe the views of one preacher. One church. One camp. In the multitude of counselors there is…way too much bothersome information.
You hear only the sound of my voice…
To illustrate this point, here is a fundamentalist pastor describing the best way to get counsel…
Control Redux
Thinking about texting in church? Not on this fundamentalist preacher’s watch, amen?
[audio:http://www.stufffundieslike.com/audio/takeyourphone.mp3]Um…dude? A lawyer may cost  $1000 but a call to the local constabulary is free. See also: the Eighth Commandment. Just something to think about.
(you can view video here – this segment starts at about 10:20)
Instruction Manuals
For the aspiring fundamentalist preacher boy here is the end-all of instruction manuals for how to succeed in the ministry.
A few nuggets of wisdom from this book:
Do I? It’s like he’s reading my mind! What a great pastor I could be if I weren’t messing around with people all day long!
It’s also a great way to catch them wearing, listening to, and smoking things that they oughtn’t be. Score!
You know you’re always right, and soon they’ll know it too!
Man, why didn’t I think of that? How do you counsel? Just don’t!
There is so much more but I’ll let you have at it on your own.