While it’s unclear where the tradition began, it is now an accepted rule that every fundamentalist is required to come up with some passage of Scripture that they can claim as a “life verse.” The earlier this is done, the better. Not having a life verse by the time one enters high school is tantamount to a confession of being a reprobate. Although how exactly a sixteen-year-old is suppose to know which bit of the Bible is going to have the most relevance for the rest of their life is somewhat of a mystery.
Being without a life verse results in a great deal of awkwardness. There are few things worse for the unversed fundy then having a youth leader or pastor ask everyone in a group to share their life verse and what it means to them. The only solution at that point is to mumble Jeremiah 33:3 and stand in shame as the other kids rattle off much more spiritually obscure passages from the minor prophets.
Many questions surround the logistics of life verses. Is it cheating to steal the life verse of a famous pastor? Is one allowed to change their life verse if they grow up and find out the one they picked in kindergarten is actually a promise to national Israel to be carried out during the millennial reign? Can a person use a “life verse” that is only half a verse long? Is it too ostentatious of an aspiring preacher boy to have a “life paragraph” or “life chapter”?
As for me, my life verse is and will remain Matthew 19:12. It’s a great conversation starter at fundamentalist picnics.
When it comes to Roman Catholics, the major disagreement amongst fundamentalists is whether in the book of Revelation the Pope is actually the anti-Christ or merely the False Prophet. Either way, they all agree that Roman Catholics want to run the world and are responsible for quite a number of its ills.
Based on reports from the likes of Jack Chick and his tales of former Jesuit Alberto Rivera, fundamentalists are willing to believe any number of conspiracy theories about Roman Catholics — up to and including that the Gestapo was run by the Jesuits. Some will also inform you that Roman Catholics are responsible for Free Masons, Lincoln’s Assassination, The New World Order, disco music, Oprah, and the “song” Boom, Boom, Pow.
The only people that fundamentalists may distrust more than Roman Catholics are the Communists. Unless, of course, you subscribe to the theory that the Vatican is the real power behind Communism too. There’s a sale on tinfoil hats on aisle 5.
If you’ve ever opened your Bible up a random and stuck your finger on the page hoping to find the answer to a pressing question then you are well acquainted with the practice of Bibliomancy. Fundies are often not content to merely apply the principles as laid out in the Scriptures but often read the Bible looking for some special application of a verse to their specific situation. The more obscure corners of the Old Testament is a particularly rich feeding ground for this sort of divination.
The applications derived from Bibliomancy can range from amusing to downright scary. Verses ripped from their context can be seen as Divine endorsement for everything from switching jobs to whom to marry, or what to have for dinner. In that last case, one can only hope that the verse consulted was not Ezekiel 4:12.
Perhaps not only verses but even the chapter divisions may be consulted for direction as in the case of the old joke about a man who found himself in financial trouble and opened his Bible at random to find the words “Chapter 11” emblazoned before him. As a last resort, maybe even the full color maps displaying the Journeys of Paul can be pressed into prophetic service.
Every word may be perfectly preserved in the King James Bible but evidently what those words mean depends greatly on what a person needs them to say at the moment.
Sometimes, the internet actually changes the way we think about things or the way we see the world. Other times, it merely allows us to keep doing the same things we’ve always done on much larger scale.
With that in mind, Stuff Fundies Like will from time to time feature a fundamentalist website that demonstrates what happens when fundamentalism grows larger-than-life online.
Inevitably, the first site to receive this distinction is Way of Life, home of David Cloud, O Timothy Magazine, and the Fundamental Baptist Information Service. Reading this site is like watching the proverbial train wreck — or it would be if the trains were screaming at each other at the top of their lungs about neo-Evangelicals and mixed bathing.
If you’re looking for long treatises on everything from the link between “Campus Crusaders and Rome” to “Warnings about Calvinist Home-Schooling Materials” then this is definitely the place. No matter what it is that you like to eat, watch, read, play with or listen to you can likely find a reason to separate from it on this website.
A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.
While it’s unclear where the tradition began, it is now an accepted rule that every fundamentalist is required to come up with some passage of Scripture that they can claim as a “life verse.” The earlier this is done, the better. Not having a life verse by the time one enters high school is tantamount to a confession of being a reprobate. Although how exactly a sixteen-year-old is suppose to know which bit of the Bible is going to have the most relevance for the rest of their life is somewhat of a mystery.
When it comes to Roman Catholics, the major disagreement amongst fundamentalists is whether in the book of Revelation the Pope is actually the anti-Christ or merely the False Prophet. Either way, they all agree that Roman Catholics want to run the world and are responsible for quite a number of its ills. 
If you’ve ever opened your Bible up a random and stuck your finger on the page hoping to find the answer to a pressing question then you are well acquainted with the practice of Bibliomancy. Fundies are often not content to merely apply the principles as laid out in the Scriptures but often read the Bible looking for some special application of a verse to their specific situation. The more obscure corners of the Old Testament is a particularly rich feeding ground for this sort of divination.
Sometimes, the internet actually changes the way we think about things or the way we see the world. Other times, it merely allows us to keep doing the same things we’ve always done on much larger scale.