All posts by Darrell

Websites

FWOTW: militarygetsaved.tripod.com

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militarygetsavedThis week’s selection is a red, white, and blue bonanza of fundamentalist goodness (best viewed 1024 X 768).

The most amazing feature of this particular website is their list by state of fundamentalist churches. Not only do they list fundy church names and addresses but they also display helpful headings to differentiate exactly what level of fundy craziness you’re likely to find there.

For example, one might want to question the wisdom of even being in the same zipcode as the church with the listing that puts the pastor’s name at top and then proclaims KJB, HYLES, OWENS above the church name. (No, I am not making this up.)

If you’re a fundamentalist pastor or youth leader there are also job listings to get you placed in a hurry. But beware, the site sternly warns “If you require a certain salary, DON’T TAKE OR LOOK FOR A PASTORATE TILL YOU GET YOUR HEART RIGHT WITH GOD!” Education, however, is not required.

Odds and Ends

Important Fundamentalist Announcement

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sotl

For a fee you can now see every edition of the Sword of the Lord back to 1937. Glory!

For those who are not familiar with the Sword of the Lord imagine what the National Enquirer would look like if written by Fundamentalists. Then slice in some sermons from C.H. Spurgeon (with the Calvinist stuff cleverly chopped out) and sprinkle with a bunch of ads for church bus ministries. Stir well. No need to add nuts, they’re already included.

Doctrine

Tithing

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tithe“Storehouse Tithing” is a favorite topic among fundamentalist pastors, especially when building project fever strikes a congregation. And why not preach on tithing regularly? It’s a frequent theme through Scripture as evidenced by at least 3 or 4 verses in the New Testament — most of which involve Jesus using it as example of the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. And then there are all the times when the command is given to the church. There’s…uh…well…I’m sure it’s in there somewhere.

Asking a fundamentalist to explain this lack of New Testament commands about tithing will likely be met by a lecture on “evil questioning” and a few hand-picked verses from the Old Testament that fundies somehow know are still applicable today. One can only assume there is a special class in “Figuring Out Which Old Testament Stuff The Church Still Needs To Do” given at the local basement bible college. (Short Answer: Whichever parts don’t involve giving up cotton blend shirts or bacon)

A fun experiment is asking a fundy whether or not 9% of their tithe is kept in the levitical refuge cities. After all, if we’re following the Scripture let’s follow all of it, amen?

Now where did I put my wave offering….

Websites

FWOTW: JesusIsSavior.com

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jesusissaviorFor sheer volume of eclectic content, it’s hard to beat this weeks Fundy Site of the Week run by David J. Stewart. The front page (43 clicks to get to the bottom!) alone contains dozens of topics ranging from 9/11 conspiracies to the claim that God hates Christmas. And just to round things out there are also claims of Satanic influences in the Vatican and then an entire page dedicated to…Hawaiian guitar? Pardon me for a moment while I stare off into space. With so many glaring colors and photos it’s hard to look for too long without feeling a little disoriented.

This site provides a classic example for the syndrome of Claiming to Be the Last True Fundamentalist. Even though David Stewart and David Cloud are obviously cut from the same cloth, they evidently have nothing good to say about each other

But never fear, the author makes it very clear that this is Not a Hate Site. Although where the love is remains unclear.