Holidays

Friday Challenge: Frighten a Fundy

173 Comments

In the spirit of the season, today’s challenge is to pick a Halloween costume that is specifically designed to be as frightening to fundamentalists as possible. Extra points will be awarded if you actually provide a photo, drawing, or MS Paint sketch of the costume in question.

(I’m personally coming as an in-context exegesis of I Thessalonians 5:22. Still haven’t exactly worked out the details of the costume design, though.)

173 thoughts on “Friday Challenge: Frighten a Fundy”

  1. I’ll do the same thing I do every year—dress up as a witch, with my black cape, black pointy hat, long black skirt, black shirt, a cauldron to hold candy, and a big black rat (puppet) on the step beside me. A bunch of neighbors sit outside, since we get so many kids the ringing doorbells would make the neighborhood dogs bark all evening. I occasionally frighten tiny children; I don’t see why it wouldn’t work on Fundies.

    1. Actual, that might excite some fundies. There would be a mad rush to see who could condemn you first. Now if you were to dress normally and casually mention that you practice wicca, or read Tarot cards, or watch ‘The Medium’, then they would be afraid.

    2. haha, I’ve considered buying a bunch of Wicca books, crystal balls, pagan artifacts, and gothic tarot cards and leaving them around as general decoration to scare my fundy fam and friends 😈 Then perhaps I’d lace the tarot deck with all the dark cards on top and offer a free reading to them when they come over . . .

  2. I’m going as Chas Bono–triple threat:
    I’m transgendered
    I’m on Dancing With the Stars
    My mom is Cher

  3. Some favorites of mine:
    Gandalf – they’ll focus on the fact that he’s a wizard and miss the Christ allegory that underlies the whole story
    Mr. Spock – because he relies upon logic, and that automatically makes him evil (the pointy ears are a bonus!)
    Anything not specifically mentioned in the Bible (including aliens, cavemen, dinosaurs, and microorganisms)
    And someone back there mentioned both the Pope and Lady Gaga…why not Lady Gaga dressed in papal vestments (no doubt she’d do it, too!)

    1. lady gaga already did, here. <– WARNING: nsfw (most likely), and not safe for children. somewhat of a profane music video.

  5. I’m going as a sword drill bible with sticky tabs marking the start of each book, but the tabs are all out of order.

      1. A sword drill is when the leader has everyone raise their Bibles in the air and then shouts out a Bible verse. The more obscure or hard to find the better. Zechariah 5:7! Then everyone hurries to find it in their Bible and the first one to stand up and read it wins.

        I liked sword drills and was usually pretty good at them. :mrgreen:

  6. Years ago, my little girl wasn’t feeling good so she fell asleep in my bed early one evening. Later I went to check on her and she was GONE, her clothes she was wearing was laying there as if they had fallen off her. That scared the begeebies out of me since at the time I feared that I had missed the rapture. I relunctantly went up to her bedroom to look for her, scared to death she wouldn’t be there either, but not until after I first checked on my son who was asleep in his bed. I figured if he was here then there was a 50/50 chance it wasn’t a rapture. She changed her clothes and put on one of her dads T-shirts and went to sleep in her own bed. Sorry, if my costume idea scared every one else too. I realize that isn’t funny to those of you who still believe the end of the world tribulation stories.

  9. more of a scene from a Hell House than a Halloween costume, I suppose, but it could be done:

    Me in regular clothes rigged up with fake flames and lights so as to appear to be burning, with a sign that says, “I’m in Hell now because you didn’t convert me. Why didn’t you try harder?”

    Of course, the downside would be the resulting onslaught of frantic convert-sations foisted upon us poor unsuspecting nonfundies.

    1. Oh, let the games begin, brothas and sistas! let ’em get us right to the point of decision and we’ll bring up the King James issues… then let them get us to the decision and we’ll bring it up about “Can we lose our salvation?” We’ll let them keep taking us to the brink over and over and over again… that way we save someone else from hearing their half cocked plan of decisional regeneration crap and we can turn it around in the end and still blame them for our “decision” to choose hell and guilt them into apoplexy. 😯 😈

    2. It would not work because you probably wouldn’t be able to keep the grin off your face. 😀 But it does sound cool.

    1. I dressed up as a bloody zombie Nun for the halloween haunted school house at Hyles Anderson Collage, and that’s the truth.

    1. One of my friends actually did dress up as Legion for Halloween one year in college. The Christianity department professors kept listing off inaccuracies of the costume.

      I don’t seem to recall anyone being frightened. Then again, we had few fundies on campus, so…

      1. A Pig… at a Fundie Function is generally known as “Dinner.” You show up in a Fundie Church as a Pig and they will be roasting you over a bed of coals in a New York second. Camp Meeting and Pig Pickin’ Dinner on the Grounds, usually accompanied by a Gospel Singin’ as well. 😉

  15. Think I’ll dress up as Elizabeth Vargas and show up with a camera crew at next year’s SOTL Conference. 😯

    1. I highly doubt you have the legs for that one, Don! 😛 But to be honest, neither do I… 😀

    2. Yes, Don, that would scare many of the fundy pastors. Kinda like their worst nightmare. Perhaps you could be Anderson Cooper instead…same effect, but no skirt required. :mrgreen:

        1. It’s OK, Don–go for it, push-up bra and all. After what you had to put up with for our edification and amusement this year, you can do anything you want.

  17. In nursing school I went to our Halloween party as a pregnant nun. Then some of us went to our favorite bar. Had people on the dance floor saying bless me sister. Oh yeah, I’m a guy!

  22. Addams’ family member? I think Wednesday is scariest, but you’d have to know something about them to think that, so maybe Morticia with the sexy clothes (Gomez to kiss her arm would be a nice touch).

  23. The Village People, Tom Cruise, a gay wedding party, Hugh Hefner with a chick on each arm, a bunch of Muslim women in burkas, Chippendale dancers, Hilary Clinton, pretty much anything considered normal in the real world.

    1. Nah, I think it should be something different from what you wear on the other days, Natalie. 😈

    2. That’s IT, Gary! I’m moving to the OTHER side of the church. Luckily, I left a butt cushion over there. Hmmph!

  25. I’m surprised no one mentioned a DRUM! It’s the one instrument that can change God’s Music ™ into the Devil’s Music ™ ALL BY ITSELF!

      1. They’re not scared of symphony drums – I was always amused when they’d pull out one of those massive things for a Sunday morning special music at BJU. It’s snare drums and a set that are sinful in their eyes. Although the big drum would be funnier as a costume!

  26. Put on a pulpit robe and a white fuzzy wig and go as Harry Emerson Fosdick. No pastor or theologian was ever more hated by fundies. They still villify him, even though he’s been dead over forty years.

  29. or Joel Osteen….I could just use the joket costume but cover the white paint with flesh covered pain and the hair black.

    1. Joel Osteen scares ME. That grin of his!!!

      And, btw, I love that typo: “flesh-covered pain”.

  30. I’m missing the big red coat and glove, but I’m thinking of going as Vash the Stampede, an anime character, based on a manga written by a Buddhist who convert to Catholicism. Will that suffice? 😉

    1. VASH THE STAMPEDE?! You must! That show is awesome! (I’ll admit to never having read the manga though… but the show is GREAT!)

      1. That it is, I still need the big red coat though. But I bought a Nerf gun that I will spray paint silver to have an angel arm. 😀 I’m so glad somebody recognized it.

  31. I am going as a bride!!!!!! But a western style bride with high heels ( in red), gaudy jewelry, and a cheap veil.

    This should be fun.

  32. My costume will be simple, but truely terrifying to fundies. I will be the “Weaker Brother” (all I need is the T-shirt) and I will walk around with an offended look on my face. The fundies will be too terrified to do anything, lest they cause me to stumble! :mrgreen:

  33. I think I’d go as Adam (before he ate the apple). Simple. Affective. Cheap. But I’m not sure the October weather would permit it.

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