271 thoughts on “Many Meetings”

  8. What do they mean by running close to The Edge? Is that something people do? Does The Edge mind people running close to him? Does he encourage it?

    1. He’d smack them with his Gibson Explorer :^) That thing looks like it could do some serious damage.

    3. Since I’m not sure if you mean that as a joke or serious, The Edge would be referring to things like music that was written after 1800, or doesn’t conform with the 1 & 3. Women that have short sleeves or dresses above the ankle (or especially a personality) are likely The Edge. Most musical instruments are The Edge. I’m assuming projectors/screens are The Edge unless that has changed and just been determined to have been the way it always was and not in violation of #3, 5, 8, or 9.

    4. Like RobM, I’m not sure if you’re joking or serious. Either way, my former Fundy Preacher likened it to a line between Godliness and ungodliness, asking why would we walk as close to line, or edge, as possible. He would say that he would rather be as far away from the line, or edge, as possible. Obviously if you are close to the edge, you aren’t as Godly as someone who is miles away from it. He would usually also go off on a tangent about standards and preferences.

      1. Um, Rob and Wayne, elfdream was referring to The Edge, aka the guitarist for the evil rock-n-roll band U2. He is featured in the video clip posted a couple of comments above.

        Carry on.

        1. There’s a Wideness in God’s Mercy

          There’s a wideness in God’s mercy
          like the wideness of the sea;
          there’s a kindness in his justice,
          which is more than liberty.
          There is welcome for the sinner,
          and more graces for the good;
          there is mercy with the Savior;
          there is healing in his blood.

          There is no place where earth’s sorrows
          are more felt than in heaven;
          there is no place where earth’s failings
          have such kind judgment given.
          There is plentiful redemption
          in the blood that has been shed;
          there is joy for all the members
          in the sorrows of the Head.

          For the love of God is broader
          than the measure of man’s mind;
          and the heart of the Eternal
          is most wonderfully kind.
          If our love were but more faithful,
          we should take him at his word;
          and our life would be thanksgiving
          for the goodness of the Lord.

          Words: Frederick William Faber, 1862
          Music: Beecher, St. Helena, Zum Frieden

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDvxeSNR9-w

      3. That’s like the “center of God’s Will.” “Stand in the center of it.”
        “Why?”
        “Because if you aren’t in the center you are being rebellious!”
        “But if I am over here I’m still in God’s will.”
        “No you aren’t! You have to be in the center of God’s Will to be in God’s Will!”

        2. Ain’t that the truth. After many decades of that rubbish, I never did find God’s will. Having left it, I now believe God’s will is to be friendly to all, and help those in need.

        4. Or “be in God’s perfect will” because if you’re not then you’re in His “permissive” will. Because God has a perfect will and if you mess it up you’re worthless in God’s kingdom and He’ll put you on a shelf. [Cuz you suck]

        5. lol

          Yup, legalists throughout the centuries can always find a way to draw the line narrower and narrower: God’s will isn’t good enough; it must be the CENTER of God’s will.

          I’m glad you pointed this out, because I hadn’t thought of it before and this kind of thinking can lead scrupulous people to anxiety and guilt.

        6. The Center of God’s Will ™©® is also a holy, holely, wholly owned subsidiary of the IFB®.

        7. God’s “Permissive Will” is where God will allow you to go, before He sends an angel to kill you (re: Baalam and his ass), or a big fish to swallow you (Jonah) or something else to make you miserable until you repent. The only safe place is in the center, cause God will getcha if you don’t watch out!

        8. And you know, they do their job well! Scaring people into believing they can sic God on you if you fall out of line. I was a grown woman, mother, caregiver, manager but I was still terrified that God would kill one of my children or something horrible if I left.

        9. Yes God as a hostage-taker. He doesn’t punish the sinner, but an innocent person, usually helpless. Collateral damages.

          God hardens Pharaoh’s heart , so He kills all the Firstborn. Why not just kill Pharoah? Aachen sins, so in the battle with Ai, innocent people get killed. And when Aachen is found guilty, of course his wife and kids are executed as well.

          That isn’t justice. It is terrorism.

          Later, Ezekiel would show God repudiating this sort of thing. The soul that sinneth shall die, but the parents will not be responsible for the sins of the children, and the children will not be declared guilty because of the sins of the parents. Each will be responsible for their own sins.

          Seems like God needs to learn some lessons now and again, too.

          The History of God throughout the Bible seems to show God attempting to find a way to relate to men, both individually and corporately. He changes the way He does things, the way He communicates and even His promises. He starts off personal, and gets increasingly distant and hard to reach.

        10. Possibly the history of God in the Bible, is more the history of how the various writers related to God. It was written over many,many centuries and concepts and needs changed, are still changing.

        11. I think the history of God in the Bible is much more about how man distanced himself from God (see the end of Romans 1). Man sins, rejects God, and the rest of the Bible is God’s pursuit of man–until He finally sends His only Son. Unfortunately, the Fundies took a beautiful story of grace/love and made it all about how to be a new, improved Pharisee.

        12. ♫Mog’s to the left of me, Fundies to the right, here I am… stuck in the middle of the pew♫

        14. And keep in mind that only your IFB pastor knows right where the center of God’s will is for you.

        16. I know exactly where the Center of God’s Will ™©® is, and I’m not any kind of IFB Pastor. It’s sitting in your pew 3 times a week, and 8 times on revival weeks, on the pavement every Thursday and/or Saturday, and never ever involves any questions. Boom. Center of God’s Will ™©®.

        18. That’s only if you are one of the people who are OUT of the Center of God’s Will ™©®, and asking questions like “What/Who exactly is being worshiped here”

        19. No one is a true Fundy until they can claim that they have summited the mountain of God’s perfect will.

        20. Of course it’s important that you stay EXACTLY in the center of God’s perfect will and DO NOT MOVE from there, because that’s the only place where you can experience God’s perfect freedom.

          See? Fundilogic 101

        22. Rtgmath, you seem to think that God of the Old Testament is nothing more than a Capricious Bully and he will never be satisfied. What about Jesus? How does He fit into that belief system?

        23. Paul, I would say my viewpoint is in a kind of flux. I read the Scriptures from a historical and cultural context lately, so there is a great deal of information to sort through.

          So tell me. What do you love about the God of the Old Testament? I’ve already said a lot about Jesus, who put together a radically different portrayal of God. And I’ll be glad to talk more about Him later.

          But since you appear to object to what I have said about the God of the Old Testament, tell me where I am wrong and why you love Him.

          We will always be friends. We’ve shared a lot over SFL. I confess that SFL has given me a way to talk through some of my thoughts and their ramifications.

        24. This is intended as a reply to rgtmath, so I’m sorry if it gets misplaced.
          I have always had the same problem with Jesus as the “kinder, gentler” version of the Old Testament God. I recently read The Bible Tells Me So by Peter Enns, and he offers a plausible explanation for the way the OT reads. Basically, he says it is an ancient document written by ancient people, and it cannot be read with a modern mindset of, “this is a historical document and must, therefore, be completely factual on all points.” The ancients simply didn’t think that way.
          For those of us who grew up fundy, it requires a major paradigm shift to think this way.

        26. Some day I am going to kill George! Mayhem! A pox on his (descends into guttural mutterings).

          Cough. Ahem. Ok, I am better now.

          You are correct, of course. The God of the Old Testament has to be viewed through the world-view of the ancients, along with a whole host of other considerations. You can’t just read the OT as a fact-based historical document. They didn’t think that way. They didn’t write that way.

          If you look carefully, the God of the Old Testament is only concerned with a small group of people in a small corner of the world. He ignores everyone else. He is concerned with the land. He shows power, but not too much. Victories still cost lives. God’s blessings come at a cost, and He is willing to snatch them away at a moment’s notice for human frailty.

          The narrative’s description is similar to how other land gods were viewed. There are definite differences, of course. But He never seems to take on a personal interest in the World at large. Judgments are harsh.

          The observation that the Scriptures record how people perceived and interacted with God is correct. But God had control of those interactions and perceptions.

          In either way, viewing the Scriptures as inerrant isn’t warranted. The Stories didn’t correct any world-viewpoints. No physical laws of the world were revealed. There was no discussion of an afterlife.

          The changes in tone from the Old Testament to the New Testament are dramatic. Beginning with the Diaspora, the largeness of the world began to be revealed. God could no longer be viewed in the narrow boundaries of the land of Israel. Even Jesus’ own view of His ministry changed as He encountered the Roman Centurion and the woman from Syrophoenecia.

          With the New Testament, God left the Box and viewed a wider world.

          Sorry for the rambling. My perspectives are still getting themselves worked out. I am finally comfortable enough to face issues I was afraid to face in the past, and willing to be more blunt with them. Finding out that God isn’t smiting me root and branch for rethinking these items has helped.

        27. RTGMATH what you said is more carefully worded than what I said but pretty much I meant the same thing. If God reveals himself to man, how does he do it? Through a man, a human being, of course. Therefore to say who that man is, his social conditions, his world, his customs etc, do not colour how God is presented, would be absurd. So the God of the old testament is also the God of the old testament times as perceived by a man living in those times. It was a very long time ago and we can’t hardly deal with the social changes of the last few decades let alone the last few millennia. Learning to totally relate to that God would turn us into people who would be ok with stoning our children for answering back to us.

        28. Learning to totally relate to that God would turn us into people who would be ok with stoning our children for answering back to us.

          Wow! What a great way to put it! Thank you very much. You expressed the conflict in my heart at having to relate to that God.

        29. Talking this kind of stuff out is good. Having ridiculous doctrines shoved down your throat is much less good.

        30. “OK, I’ll go look up the Biblical definition of God’s will. It says here…’Do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God.’ Wow, I could spend my life working that out to the best of my ability and never figure out where the center was. Better get started. Thanks for the tip!”

          “Works-based righteousness! Another dispensation! Umbrella of protection! Controversial!” *explodes in a froth of pharisaical indignation*

    7. I used to hear this all the time. It means seeing how close to the edge of “sin” one can get without actually crossing the line. Some “carnal” people enjoy seeing how close they can get to sin, but the righteous stay as far away from the edge as they can.

    1. there are no bad bibles just bad owners! if given the time attention and effort your bible will be healthier, happier and will stop chewing on the other versions. You must put in the time to train your bible. I rehabilitate bibles, I train people, I am the KJV whisper

      2. Am I the only one annoyed by the recent proliferation of Bible parks, where people let their misbehaving Bibles run around off-leash, getting into fights with the other Bibles and exchanging Biblical diseases?

        1. Seriously! It doesn’t take much to train your Bible some basic commands. Just carry some Bible treats in your pocket as positive reinforcement.

      1. Lol! They do have KJV’s at Dollar Tree – Sunday school teachers gave them out to newbies 🙂

        1. They do, but dollar store Bibles aren’t as interesting as he implies. They’re just badly printed and badly bound.

  13. Oh my gosh, that’s just down the road a-piece from us. Laird Donald, is this the mothership you’ve mentioned before?

      1. Well, I’d volunteer, but I doubt they’d let a papist in the door. 😉

        1. You just need to go incognito. Keep the robes and incense at home.

          Since I solved your problem, we have our first volunteer. Thank you CGC.

        2. you and i can hand out rosaries outside the door…. but be calm they can smell the fear and incense on us

  14. “NO negativism!” – except for the ten statements on this poster. After that…no more…we promise.

    1. Now that you mention it, “NO negativism” does look a bit strange on an ad that’s mostly a list of bold-faced “NO”s.

  15. My favorites were:
    “No bad Bibles”
    “No ‘it can’t be done’ negativism” how many negatives can you use in one sentence?
    But the fellowship is par excellence. You have to fit into our box of what religious experience is and what it looks like to be Christian in our definition. But as long as you conform to us, the fellowship is par excellence

    1. You got yer negatives and yer doble negatives, but if you really try hard, you can manage a triple negative.
      Take that, grammarians!

      2. BG – It is actually a Quadruple Negative! The line introducing the list says “…what you will NOT get.” Beat that!

        2. Dear music video camera person,
          Please wipe all that vaseline off your lens.

          Your friend,
          Big Gary

    3. After I read all of those negatives, I said a double positive,

      “Yeah, right.”

  18. I just looked at this church’s website home page.

    Oh my eyes. My poor sore eyes.

      1. 1995 – when Geocities was our conduit to the world and that evil MySpace still hadn’t been invented yet.

    2. After that, I decided to visit their website.
      In March, you can go to the Sunday School and bus conference and hear Bro. Tricky Ricky.
      Learn all the basics of the bait and switch to get more bus riders!
      Learn how to over-crowd the bus for fun and profit!
      Learn how to disguise your death-trap with only a bit of paint!

      WOW! The Light Church truly does have less for more.

        3. Right decade but that is way past the edge, I saw a cigarette and did I hear the mention of that demonic worship promoting company, Procter and Gamble?

  23. 1-5, 8 & 9 are all “no it can’t be done”s, and number 6 says there are no “no it can’t be done”s

    1. exactly….so the rule is you cannot say it cannot be done if it is something they want to do–whoever they are. They get to say it cannot be done for anything they don’t want to do.

  24. Gee, that sounds like a LOT of fun! So warm and welcoming, where do I sign up?!/
    Is this Tim Hicks’ church?

    2. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

    1. They draw their lines narrower than that. They want to stay far away from the edge. If they stay away from Evangelicalism, they’ll never slide into ecumenicalism.

  29. Why, oh why, do they make snarking so easy?

    You all beat me on the bad Bibles. You bunch of evangecalists.

  30. I always thought that fundamentalism and evangelicalism were very similar. The only difference was a bad haircut.

  31. I believe if I went to the conference, I would keep thinking “I can’t get no satisfaction”.

    2. I am not ashamed to admit that I read the Sword of the Lord Newspaper when they come out. I enjoy finding the biblical and logical fallacies put forth by the writers.
      On the front page, and continuing multiple pages throughout the Jan. 2, 2015 edition is a print of a sermon titled “The Biblical Example of a Real Man”. As I read it, the line “can’t be a man ’cause he doesn’t smoke the same cigarettes as me” ran through my mind. At least Mick and Keith didn’t cherry pick proof-texts to twist.

      1. Talk about low-hanging fruit. You could spend at least an hour picking out the fallacies in the headlines alone.

      1. The driver for the dating couple looks an awful lot like Jack Hyles………………………..

        1. And I learned something new today. Thanks UW.

          So Wall of Voodoo is a freebie then. Better now then waiting for Darrell to make a post about Mexican radio.

        2. I don’t know if the Mexican “Border Blaster” stations are still a thing, but they used to have some amazing evangelists on those frequencies … along with the ads for goat gland operations.

        1. I just clicked on the video heading in the top of the box, and it opened a link in YouTube and played.

  33. “No drifting toward Evangelicalism.”

    I am actually for that one. But I admit I’m on the opposite side of evangelicalism from Fundamentalism, drifting away from both.

  36. I always used to laugh (internally of course) when people talked about this church -Gospel Light. It reminds me of beer

  38. Just a very old Catholic joke to let you know we have this too. Pope Plus IX who issued the Syllabus of Errors, condemning pretty much everything, about whom it was said “If it moved, he condemned it” was called by the citizens of Rome “Pio no no no no no”

  39. Please sing along. (With apologies to Ringo):

    A preacher that I know just came from Pensacola;
    He smiled because I did not understand.
    Then he became a raging Ayatollah,
    Who wanted me to bow to his command.

    And I said, “No, no, no, no, I can take it no more; I’m tired of your lack of rapport.”
    “No thank you please, you make me ill at ease;
    I don’t think that’s what Jesus came here for.”

  40. When I was a teenager, our annual family vacation was often at a National Sword of the Lord Conference. I wish I was lying. It was at exciting venues such as Tennessee Temple, BJU, before landing in the soybean patch which was Walkertown.

    “It’s a wonder I can think at all.”

    1. Referring to the Walkers? Hick revivals, vbs’s and ladies retreats? I know them too well, but haven’t heard of Walkertown

  42. I think this would be a great time and place for the first annual SFL get-together. I don’t know if I could make it, what with that work thing, but it would be fun to attend together and meet afterwards to discuss what we had just heard.

    1. If you are serious I could probably make it. I could wear my fundy disguise: cheap suit with a wide-margin KJV.

        1. I’ll help in the kitchen – yes I’m a lady, so it’s ok. (formerly Breaking Away)

        2. I don’t know if I’d go so far as to call myself a lady but I am female so to the kitchen I go

      1. How hilarious would that be!

        Eh, he probably has his sermons piped into each room without the option of turning it off.

      2. He’s got a 46″ LCD tv in the living room & TV/Cable in the bathrooms, and hi speed internet available! I’m assuming “on demand entertainment” is also available at will if you know what I mean. 🙂

  43. Wait a second. Darrell – did you change the title of this post? Did it perhaps say May Meetings? Thus prompting my first comment. Now I just look like an idiot.

    2. If it were early enough in May, we could go as Star Wars characters and greet each other with, “May the fourth be with you”.

    3. How dare you imply the Pastor of SFL made a change! However, the URL is still “may-meetings” which one would assume George created before the title & header of the page was updated to Many.

  45. But let’s bear in mind that this is only 50% narcissistic self-propagation. The other 50% is marketing to specific demographic and their desires. Because in those days they will heap up teachers for themselves having itching ears…

    2. But this meeting does not sound like Elrond’s Council. They sound more like the Ring itself–
      Three Rings for the Deacons,
      Seven for the Trustees,
      Nine for the elders doomed to die,
      One for the Man of God on his dark throne
      In the Land of Fundamentalism where the Shadows lie.
      One Bible to rule them all, One Hymnal to find them,
      One Dogma to bring them all and in the darkness bind them

  48. Hey, all you critics, back-off. I ran on the edge once and almost lost an eye… no wait that was with scissors. Sorry, continue on.

    But, seriously, what edge?

      1. So, in essence, the “edge” is just a nebulous fuzzy zone where fundy leaders decide you shouldn’t be. I have to admit, I’ve never heard it described in such terms. Anyone have examples of how this was used on you or in your church?

  50. and NO shunning of “fundamental” pervert “pastors” who video their congregants, only escaping prosecution by that pesky statute of limitations.

    1. I believe they would fall under persecuted saints category of “no shunning the persecuted saints of the IFB”. 🙂

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