235 thoughts on “GOH: I’m in the Lord’s Army”

    1. We had to learn this in an ATI children’s seminar. The shtick at ATI children’s seminars is that children are placed in mixed-age groups of about a dozen kids rather than being “segregated by age” which is NOT the biblical model, you see. I recall that even the “little kids” (aged 5-6) in our group thought this song was pretty dumb.

      1. The Bible contains almost nothing on the education of children.
        Seriously. Look at how much is in there about handling livestock or money management or food preparation, and compare it to how much the Bible says about children’s education. Practically nothing.

        1. ATI made much of the argumentum ex silentio when it came to the Scriptures. Since the Bible never mentions age-segregated classes for children, then they must not be approved by God.

        2. Actually, it does give a pretty good challenge regarding the kids but it was always directed at the parents. Deut 6.

        3. When it does, it seem to be the women who are doing the educating. Mary taught Jesus, Timothy was taught by Lois and Eunice, his grandmother and mother. Are there any other direct references?

    1. I noticed that too – all the front row gunners (at least, that’s what we called people like that in law school) doing overly-exaggerated motions to show how “involved” they are.

      1. DS – I just hope you have been tithing in your absence. Not that we count numbers or anything.

        4. Silly math prof. 😉

          We, of the English major persuasion, use numbers to count. We don’t count the numbers themselves. That would take us to infinity and beyond.

  5. I remember this song from when I was 9-10 in a different denomination than IFB.

    Reminds me a bit of basic training, the purpose of which is to lose one’s identity and became ONE with the group.

      1. ..and immediate obedience.

        Surely, basic training has multiple purposes, one of which I thought was to become a true group instead of a collection of individuals.

        2. And also how to perform various core activities, from making one’s bunk to cleaning and firing one’s rifle, according to regulations. And to get everybody in shape, and weed out those who can’t make it. And to instill a basic knowledge of military structure, such as rank.

    2. Conformity in a group think environment is very valued and desired in the IFB. Those who lead such exercises are testing the boundries to see how far he can make the group go, and the extent of mindless adherence among the lemming constituency. The fact that this group is comprised of adults makes this exercise all the more odd. Methinks the Kool Aid ladel is within reach of the pulpiteer.

  6. I wonder if the dean of students gave a candy bar for the good seat award. The child, I mean student who sat with the best posture, paid attention and didn’t squirm.

    What’s next, the wiggleworm?

    1. You and me both! This triggers flashbacks of my Sunday school teaching days, like PTSD.

  10. Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.

    Obviously Jesus’ greatest desire for his followers is paramilitary conformity.

  11. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a chile. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. I Cor. 13:11

  13. I remember one time at Scout Camp where we were having a sort of non denominational interfaith service and there was a bit of an impasse at what songs to sing because there was one Jewish guy with us. Someone decided on Father Abraham and yes…we did the motions. It was a bit absurd but the the Jewish guy was a good sport. He understood that it was a kid’s song and just laughed along with the rest of us.

    2. Fault is always relative. For my own part, I find WCBC’s active involvement in the juvenilization and emasculation of the next generation to be socially irresponsible and morally repugnant.

  15. Did anyone else notice he said “Shoot over the enemy” in the beginning?

    Near the end, there was a guy in a white shirt with his arms folded, only half doing the motions – a future SFL reader…

  16. Obviously this is in a rented gym. All males in this video, but the writing on the wall says “Home of the Coyotes.” (At least, I think that’s what it says.)

    Do their wives and significant others know that these guys are at the home of the coyotes?

    And are these guys aware that women can now serve in the military?

        1. I fought tooth and nail against having the eagle as our school mascot. But alas! We live in an area with many eagles, and the children chose.

      2. For what it’s worth: the eagle was also used by the Roman Empire as a symbol of its strength and was often associated with Jupiter. So are they affiliating themselves with pagan symbolism? LOL

        1. Oh good! We’re a classical school, so the eagle works. I’ve been lobbying to name the mascot Aquila.

        3. @TieceyKaye,
          Aquila is a great name for an eagle, but why not Ethon? Granted, “eagle-like chimera”…

          “In Greek mythology, Ethon was the eagle-like chimera that had been sent by Zeus to devour Prometheus’s liver every night, as punishment for stealing fire from the gods and offering it to mankind.”

        2. Which is why eagles no longer fly commercial.
          They are only allowed one carrion per person.

    2. Here in the Borderlands, “Coyotes” has a particular meaning. A “coyote” hereabouts is someone who smuggles humans for profit.

  17. And now, just to ruin everyone’s day, let’s all recall the other famous verses to this, “Great big gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts… ” “twisted”

      1. Ah yes, good ‘ole Gid Tanner. I still have one of his records. My father bought it back when he was in the Marines purely to annoy a bebop fan he was in the barracks with that played “A Love Supreme” one too many times. I’m came to be a smartass honest.

  19. I didn’t like this song even when I was 5. I knew we weren’t in a saluting type of army and thought it was ridiculous. I go along with it now if another teacher insists we sing it, but gag!

    1. Its the day of the “Split-Chapel” Women in one, men in the other…and you talk about all sorts of eeeeevil.

      1. Yes, after they finish singing this rousing pre-K number, they will then be instructed on how they are expected to act like preschoolers in their sexual lives as well.

        1. There is a pretty funny anecdote which I cannot verify of a certain administrator of a certain FU that used segregated chapel as an opportunity to warn the male students about the evils of “stroking the snake of pornea”. Double entendre not intended.

  21. Who says if you ever attend a fundy college that you have to grow up?

    Hey atleast they’re not doing motions to contemproary Christian music. Jack Hyles would have a stroke!

    Speaking of the great famous Hyles, he always bragged that Hyles-Anderson was an army and not a college and that he was their general leading them into battle against the liberals. Guess who won?

    You go General Hyles!

        1. While Larry Brown smashed watermelons and televisions and Larry Brown made fun of fat women.

        2. He could have made polishing the shaft into a song for college boys…with motions . The words would be something like “sometimes love don’t feel like it should so make it…oohh…oohh….oohh…..
          hurt so good!

  22. I would love context for why they are singing the song. Bus ministry? Sunday School teacher training? VBS training?

    If they are just singing it because someone thought it was appropriate, that is a very sad comment on this institution of supposed “higher” learning…..

      1. Since I am an elementary school teacher, and have trained Sunday School teachers, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. People who work with little kids do strange things!

    2. You mean the Whack-a-Mole version! Half the singers are “Praise ye the Lord!” and the other half are “Hallelujah!” and it is a song with its ups and downs.

      I prefer Jay’s version, definitely!

      1. Half? We did gender split. *Strictly* gender split.

        Once it was one guy plus a couple of Sunday School teachers. But nope, can’t reassign anyone so the Praise Ye lines are audible on the other side of the room…

  24. I couldn’t make it out, but I HOPE they said “…..ride in the Cavalry”…..not Calvary.

  25. All I can think of while watching this video is that at least two of those guys are my future brothers-in-law, considering that I have two sisters at WCBC right now workin’ on the good old MRS degree.

    Considering the first brother-in-law that WCBC has already excreted into my family, I’d say the intelligence and maturity of the young men in the video is above average.

      1. Well, I have one more sister who has not yet obeyed God’s Call on her life to also go to WCBC. So, there is the potential for at least one more.

  26. It’s always struck me as funny that these people, who claim to support our troops 110%, don’t ever seem to know the difference between “cavalry” and “Calvary.” Oh – and – it’s my first post! I’ve been stalking for more than a year… 🙂

    1. It’s another Catholic. We gotta keep an eye on this one. Make sure they don’t try to spread their popish propaganda.

      And if you have been stalking you know I am rarely serious. Welcome aboard. 🙂

    2. I’ve come to be of the opinion that this is one of those cutesy on-purpose “mistakes” that IFB people make to try to sound folksy and old fashion. (“Old fashion” is, of course, another example.)

      Because they never make the “mistake” the other way around – they NEVER say “cavalry” when they mean “Calvary.” We never hear “lead me to cavalry” or “cavalry covers it all.” But we often hear of the “infantry, artillery, and Calvary.”

    3. Happy First Post Day! We are glad to have you!

      As a mathematician, I have always been amused by people using such figures as 110%. 100% is the whole. Somethings you can increase. But ….

      Reporter: Coach, you just lost in the worst game in league history. 3 to 87. How are you going to turn this around?
      Coach: Well, Jim. Were just gonna hafta give 110% next game.
      Reporter: But you gave 100% *this* game! And still! ….
      Coach: Hush! Off the record, we’re gonna pay some on the other team to throw the game. That’s our extra 10%.

      2. rtg – You are our resident math genius. But when listing or speaking sports scores, you always list the winner’s score first. So in your example the final score was 87-3. We’ll expect not to see the same mistake again. Mmmkay?

        1. Often you see the visiting team score first, which must be a vestige of “ole[sic] fashioned religion”, since one of the beatitudes was Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
          We all know true righteousness is door to door visitation, and all negative actions on the part of the visited are persecution.

        2. Unless you are reporting a soccer score, in which case, the home team always comes first.

    4. Dear Free Will Catholic:

      Thank you for making your presence known! Do stick around and keep posting!

      I’m always struck that people who 110% support ‘support our troops’ buttons and magnetic bumper stickers then cower at the idea that we raise taxes in order to double grunt pay and triple VA benefits.

      We’re very good at superficial displays of selective, political piety. Why should displays of religious piety be any less superficial or selective?

      Again, WELCOME!

      Christian Socialist

  27. Here’s my take on this: They are purposefully humiliating and demeaning these young men in order to establish absolute control.

    If I can make a grown man sing a child’s song with motions in front of his peers, I’ve got him where I want him.

    Control.

    1. It should be said that Corporate America does much the same thing through puerile and humiliating “team building” exercises.

      1. Which I’ve been in trouble for calling useless and inane. Even the younger less cynical me thought that most team-building exercises were designed to impede original ideas and promote some type of Orwellian Society in the company. Usually I would just hang in the background and watch other people act foolish as much as possible. Once when I was at a forced day of “fun, learning, and team-building”, in which I knew no one else in the group, (we were put with people from different departments. I guess to open us to new ideas and options) one of the activities was a game that involved word puzzles. My dad was often challenging us with word and picture puzzles, and I had seen most of them before. I took over, handed out extra markers, and had gave the answers for them to write down on the big pad on an easel we had. We smoked all the other groups. When it was over, I wondered why no one pointed out we did things differently (cheated?)
        The frightening part was how easy it can be to control some people.

      2. I hate team building exercises. Building a team takes years, and people have to learn to trust the team leader or it’s all sound & fury, signifying nothing.

        2. Sure there is, B.G. It involves ropes, trust falls, and other non-work related ideas dreamed up by some PhD who never had a real job in his life. Experience is overrated. Read the handbook, follow the rules, and hope nothing you haven’t been taught comes up to challenge your inadequate training.

          OOPS! Sorry, I seem to have left current corporate culture for the IFB culture, except substitute DD for PhD.

        3. At one of my work places here in Silicon Valley we called such team building activities “mandatory fun”–not!

        4. All I can say is, you all must have had some really sh*tty instructors. I’ve found team-building exercises to be extremely profitable in the past. The purpose is not to build trust, but rather to reveal the character of the people involved. And frankly, there is nothing like good old fashion ( :wicked: ) physical exercise to reveal this. After an hour, I knew who the leaders and followers were, as well as the ones who would loudly pontificate on how to best solve an obstacle, while not actually leading at all. Honestly, it was a fantastic experience that helped me tremendously later on when working with these individuals on projects.

      3. Huh, I didn’t realize humiliating team building was a thing. The only experience I had with “team building” was from hearing about my dad’s office, and theirs always involved a Detroit Tigers/Pistons game and lots of food. I always thought team building sounded like a lot of fun haha.

      4. Oh yes. Amen, amen, amen. Been there, done that. Literally have the T-shirt — we make the dang things.

    2. I remember reading about teaching methods based on “infantilization”– meaning, in this context, putting the learner in a playful, child-like state where the critical faculties are dormant. The argument was that the mind is more malleable in such a state and therefore has better recall of, for example, math concepts or a new language presented during such a phase.
      But it seems to me that it might be an equally effective tactic for convincing people (for example) that wearing blue jeans is a sin or that listening to “the wrong sort” of music can turn someone into a devil worshipper.

    5. Spot on there my friend. Can’t have the minions testing the boundaries of the shock collars.

  28. There are 2 basic ways to motivate people.

    1. Motivate through fear. Immediate results that are only temporary.

    2. Motivate through love. Takes much more time than fear motivation, but lasts much longer.

    I bet that most of us on SFL were subjected to a lot of fear-based motivation in the IFB, and well, here we are.

    1. Yes, BJg, most of us here were subjected to fear-based motivation.

      That was my experience in my recently former fundy CEO’s “ministry” of fear. Power & Control where there is always someone within the flock who is the problem, never the Mog…NEVER EVER EVER THE MOG.

      There is always someone in the congregation who is the “Aiken in the camp”, not the lofty CEO who rules with perfection, unlike the trouble from one sinner, as in Joshua 7.

      “Love” is not in the vocabulary of such men, though they will tell you differently.

  29. Not on topic – my brother-in-law called last night. He’s a bit down, since he stays busy with his family and his job, and he doesn’t go out door-to-door knocking for his church. It was rammed home to him last night that, no matter how spiritual he seems to be in other regards, he has no hope of any kind of leadership role at his church.

    I think he’s a pretty spiritual guy – he just doesn’t like going door-to-door. I’m not sure what to tell him. Maybe to look forward to rewards in heaven… except for that one bit, he’s pretty happy about his church (and, from visiting him, I have to admit that I’ve heard some great messages there — more about exalting Jesus Christ than exalting the MOG, which is often the fare at many IFB churches).

    1. Urg.

      People have different personalities. Some really like door-to-door but I suspect that most only feel obligated to do it.

      Tell your brother that there are other churches in his town, and try some of them. And no, he won’t go to hell for doing that.

      1. Thanks; I’ll pass along the idea, but my BIL is (otherwise) pretty happy about where he is… he feels guilty for the years spent in a Hyles-soulwinning-is-everything church (like me), and can’t quite shake the feeling that he should be doing this activity, which he detests. His current church doesn’t seem to made the big deal out of it that our old church did.

        I suspect he thinks I am more liberal than he is, but we generally get along.

        1. You might point out that in going door-to-door, he is emulating the Mormons and Jehovah’s Witnesses. Threaten to buy him a white shirt, black tie and a bicycle for Christmas.

          In a previous residence we were bothered by Mormons and JW’s many times. Finally I obtained a tract explaining the Episcopal Church.

          The next time a trio of JW’s came to the door, I was ready. When they started their spiel, I exclaimed, “I’m glad you came here! You came to the right place! Here’s a tract about the Episcopal Church!”

          They looked at it like dog poop, wouldn’t touch it and ran as fast as they could. We were never bothered by them again.

        2. James’ mom did that too- insisted that she wouldn’t take their flyers if they wouldn’t take hers. Don’t know how well her Conservative Baptist lit went over with them…

        3. A book that might assuage some of his guilt, titled “Adventures in Missing the Point”. no, seriously, that’s the title…and chapter 1 speaks to this very issue. It is, in my humble opinion, one of the great must-reads of modern religious thought.

        5. I’ve had mormon missionaries approach me at work (public servant type position in a type of organization that frequently has volunteers) asking if they could “be of service.” I said no because the org. takes public funds and I’ve no idea if the “service” comes with a side of evangelism?

          I’m utterly non religious so many of the things seen here are novel in addition to being strange, but mormon weirdness is something I’ve seen in person.

          still countering a pamphlet with a pamphlet is a pretty smooth move lol!

        6. Thanks for the Adventures in Missing the Point references; I don’t know if he’ll agree to read it, since it is by “liberal evangelicals”

        7. Ahh emerging church post modernist thought….just as repulsive to me as extreme fundamentalism.

          With guys like McLaren and Campolo, I’m left wondering, isn’t there a point where your theology gets so liberal that you might as well just sleep in on Sunday morning, being that nobody goes to hell in this theological mindset, whatever they believe or don’t.

          Campolo’s son is now a secular humanist. I guess he just dropped the loose religious traditions of his father and that was what was left of his teaching.

        8. Larry…
          Ironically, the idea that the veracity of a writing is in any way determined by the beliefs of its author(s) is a thoroughly post-modern idea. According to classic rhetoric, disparaging a work based on its authorship is a formal fallacy.

      2. It’s just one of the rules there that one must “go soulwinning” to be in leadership of any kind. He knew it when he joined, but it was the sharp way it was rammed home that got him down.

        1. “see bodies come to the door…”

          Thanks for the memories. Including the time a guy came to the door in nothing but jean shorts. With the zipper wide open. And nothing underneath. Yeah, that’s a body I would have rather NOT seen come to the door.

        2. Might have been deliberate. I would guess you didn’t go back for a second time. A guy I know dealt effectively with Jehovah’s Witnesses. His house was at the end of a long lane so he could see them coming. He was prepared for them. He answered the door naked, holding a large jar of Vaseline. He was somewhat disappointed they didn’t stay for a theological discussion, but he was never bothered again.

        3. Heh. Friend of mine once was out in his shop, at the forge, when the missionaries showed up (I don’t remember if they were JW or LDS). He answered the door shirtless, covered in smudge from the forge, hair and beard wild, and brandishing a half-made broadsword.

          Strangely enough, his visitors did not linger. Nor did they return. 🙂

        4. I would pay to watch Jehovah’s Witnesses having a theological discussion with a stark-naked guy holding a jar of Vaseline, even if (no, especially if) I could only see the JWs.

        5. I would love to do that if JWs – or even the local Fundies – come a-vistin’ but I’m not sure I would have the nerve…

      2. The problem is, that even if it had a RoI of .001% (that’s 1 in 100,000 saved, I think), the church’s response is that it was worth it for that one person because it changed that person’s eternal destiny.

        With my time so very limited, I’d rather not spend it is such a wasted effort. I went out as a “silent partner” for about three years; saw one or two who prayed a prayer; saw none some to church; certainly none joined and became involved.

        My BIL’s church had one guy get saved & get involved from door-to-door, so one hears the “it still works!!!” every now and then.

        2. What about Behold, I stand at the door and knock?
          Puts me in mind of Sheldon: knockknockknock, “Penny!”, knockknockknock, ” Penny! “…

  30. My Dad told me that when he was a kid in the Salvation Army during WW2 they sang that song. Gave it a whole ‘nother dimension. Key words “When he was a kid.” (Of course, he never did join the army. He joined the navy.)

  32. So did no one notice that they sang “Calvary” instead of “cavalry”? Isn’t that blasphemy?? lol

  33. All of that military imagery, and how many of those young men do you think will ever serve in this country’s Armed Forces? How many of them would actually put that much effort into the Lord’s Work as they would be required to in the service? I think they’re taking the easy path.

        3. An unqualified O4 working with C4 could cause a major disaster followed by general panic. Even if only a very small amount of C4 were detonated and no one else was harmed, the O4 himself could still suffer corporal injuries including, but not limited to, the loss of his privates.

      2. Ben, I’m not sure how many competent O4s actually exist.

        Just make sure your M4 is cleared before entering the chow hall.

    2. Many of them will be told its not possible to be a christian and join the military and that they would be corrupted by the carousing, drinking, and loose women.

      The extremes of fundyland will allow no challengers to their place as the commander in chief of young impressionable minds.

      1. Yet they talk about the need for chaplains in the military! Not to mention they pretty much glorify people like Schwarzkopf and MacArthur. The extremes in position are enough to make your head spin, though they make perfect sense if you’ve drunk the Kool Aid.

      2. In the IFB? Today? As long as it’s a Republican war you’re treated as a saint and publicly adored at every govt holy day of obligation. If it’s a Democrat war, the adoration is the same but accompanied with the pity for what you must endure and weak justifications regarding the office vis a vis the holder of the office.
        It is the Christian anarchist who wonders how a fellow believer can sign up to kill for money at the behest of politicians.

  34. When I was a lad in the early 60s, the line that we were taught was “I may never fly over GERMANY.” I guess Sunday School teachers in these parts had a long memory

    1. … Or hadn’t noticed that the war ended two decades earlier.
      Given how many Fundy preachers are still raving against “the Beatles,” that doesn’t seem at all unlikely.

      1. I am the 41st Deaf person ordained in the Episcopal Church. The first was Henry Winter Syle, in 1876.

        ASL is a separate language; it is not a word-for-word translation from English. Linguistically it is more akin to Chinese.

    2. May I ask a question about the deaf without meaning to be rude? How do you talk while driving? I have always been curious.

      2. Nope, it’s not rude. How do we talk while driving? Very carefully, of course.

        Usually I only talk while driving with a front seat passenger whom I know very well, such as my wife or daughters. Others simply enjoy the scenery while I drive.

        Some years ago I had a rather amusing situation. The passenger was a Deaf British woman, the first Deaf woman ordained in the Church of England.

        Americans use one hand for the alphabet and the British use two both hands. I had to hook my little finger around the steering wheel in order to spell out anything to her! No problem with American fingerspelling, especially since I am left-handed. But British fingerspelling is quite another matter.

        1. Also . . . you haven’t lived until you’ve seen Deaf folks in separate cars talking to each other while driving in parallel lanes!

          I’ve never done it myself. I love my wife, but not enough to let her collect my life insurance money.

        1. Ho, ho. When we were younger we lived next door to an elderly Italian woman. We had no trouble understanding her; she was usually gesticulating.

  36. I may never think independently,
    Question authority,
    Treat sinners tenderly…
    I will treat my wife chauvanistically,
    For I’m in the IFB. Haymen!

    1. Preach it!

      (I was going to answer with a resounding HONOLULU!, but I feel badly rubbing it in that I was there last week instead of working)

      1. From what I can see, the interpreter seems competent and well-rehearsed, as it should be.

        However, the lighting on the interpreter is not good

  40. “Which is a pretty good example of how they view student maturity at WCBC.”

    May we talk about the maturity of the dean of students?

  41. This reminder of the utter nonsense pumped out at a typical fundamental Baptist college in the name of “equipping young people to serve the Lord” makes me want to barf. Brings back horrible memories of spiritual and emotional abuse. Unfortunately this same mindset of militarism is carried over into the blind support of fundamentalists for America’s subjugation and occupation of other countries. “Our cause is just, therefore please bless our military’s efforts, O Lord.”

  43. I think it’s funny how they are all singing “ride in the Calvary” instead of cavalry. And that these are adults, of course.

    1. Pretty sure most of these guys don’t know they are 2 different words. Kind of like Ricky from Trailer Park Boys.

  44. “Ride in the Calvary” ??? GOOD GRIEF!!! And they’re in college. How sad for these young men.
    It’s a cute song for VBS when you need to get the wiggles out of children, but young men? Maybe for a time of silliness, but this video doesn’t look like a camp or campfire surrounding to me!
    Heaven help them if they were to burst out with “In Christ Alone” or “Days of Elijah!”

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