Yes, conversion slips, just like what the Apostles did.
I was thinking the same thing…
I wonder if the apostles bragged about how long the scroll was with conversion decisioins…
Peter: “Yo, Paul! Look at my scroll of conversion decisions! Four passus and a cubitus!”
Paul: “Sorry there, Stoner, double that for the ‘ol Paulmeister!”
Why don’t we see how vulgar this must be to God? Who do we think we are?
Rev. Bro. Pastor Dr. Standridge: “I am sombody!”
🙁
Yes, you are first, I came out. I guess you came out early enough in the morning.
I confess that I have had little contact with fundie churches, but are these “convert slips” for real? Do IFB churches really do this? Or is this an April Fools Day joke?
Misfortunately, they are real. And I know there are some who actually believe that a “decision card” is a conversion.
I notice the card has only two boxes that can be checked, “Convert” and “Prospect.” Apparently every human is classified as one or the other. There is no box for “Already attending another church,” or “Disillusioned with Fundamentalism,” or “Happily Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Sikh, Zoroastrian, Atheist, or other.”
To be fair, BG, as a Christian, I’d classify anyone who is “Happily Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Sikh, Zoroastrian, Atheist, or other.” as a “prospect” (although I wouldn’t use that term) as well.
Unless you think that being “Happily Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Sikh, Zoroastrian, Atheist, or other.” will lead someone to faith in Jesus Christ, what else would you classify them as?
In reading the rest of the comments, I realize we’re probably approaching this from different angles. My assumption is that these cards are filled out by “staff” or people working at the church, not by individual attendees themselves. That’s my experience from working at a fundy Bible camp during high school…
Honestly, if I were doing door-to-door proselytizing (which I wouldn’t), I would classify them as not interested in what I’m selling.
Cognitive Dissonance here — why, you can’t possibly be happy if you’re an adherent of something other than fundamentalism! (Or so our pastor taught us when we were in junior high and were urged to challenge the presuppositions of our non-fundy friends.)
When I was at my fundie church I tried to get them to go digital, but the response was, “what would we use to go followup on Thursday evening?”
My Response: “A printout?” I had an idea to put the convert cards on everyone’s smartphones. Of course this was of the devil.
I guess its a good thing they didn’t go all digital. Fortunately there are probably thousands upon thousands of convert cards that have been lost under the seats and glove compartments of fundie cars everywhere allowing these folks to “fall through the cracks”.
Besides, can you stack your smart phone nine inches high? Well, can you? Huh?
No, but you can use a bigger font to make your list take up more screen space.
I just had to delete stuff from my phone because I ran out of memory. Too much rock music on there.
No no no no no. Putting them in electronic form will make it far to easy for some wise acre to find & announce all the duplicates!
Yes, they really do this.
At our former church, everyone was supposed to fill one out; it was required if you had any kind of position… from youth pastor to choir member to usher… they were mandatory, and if you weren’t filling them out, they would hunt you down and grip at you.
Of course, it didn’t end there. If you didn’t have enough hours in “soul-winning” or just didn’t go, they’d hold the card over you and gripe at you for not setting a good example.
Then, if you were going, but didn’t have converts, that meant that something was wrong with you — you lacked compassion or had sin in your life.
They grip at a lot of people, so I’ve heard.
They’re a bunch of “touchy-feely” people who grip a lot.
“The amount of fundy proselytes is too damn high!”
I’m voting for your party, Dr. Josh.
^^^ win !!
LOL 😀
This is ridiculous:
1.) It is a show of pride. They are proud to have slips of paper that “confirm” that people got saved. This is just like the obsession with posting attendance numbers, bus numbers, offering numbers, etc. This does not make God proud or prove the Father’s favor.
2.) It is a show of numbers-orientation. If one person “got saved” they would not be presenting or bragging. No, it is all about numbers to this crowd, because numbers “confirms” that what they are doing and the way they do it is correct. We do not need numbers to confirm anything; all we need is God’s Word to confirm it for us.
3.) It is a show of assumptions. No man knows if a person “got saved” or did not. The only way we can even attempt to confirm another person’s salvation is via their verbal profession of faith (Romans 10:9-11) that is backed up by a changed life. In other words, faith proven by works (James 2). I seriously doubt that any of these people did more than prayed a prayer and were proclaimed to be saved by the “soul winner”.
Now, that being said, I am thankful for anyone that truly accepted Christ during their visitation. However, like with Hyles and others, will the majority of that stack of slips show up on Sunday to continue with the doctrine of Christ and be baptized? Probably not. And from what I know of that church, it may be for the best…
The implied claim that Greg Neal, or you or I or any mortal human, has the power to save souls is a rank heresy.
So is the doctrine that saying some magic words is either necessary or sufficient for salvation.
This camp of Fundamentalists has a lot to answer for.
I agree 100%. Per the Bible, it is the Gospel that is the power of God unto salvation (Romans 1:16). We are simple messengers that bear the treasure of the Gospel in our hearts. Through my studies in my few years in the pastorate, I have realized that salvation is not about a magical prayer. Most of the people that believed in Christ in Scripture did not pray to Him for salvation. They trusted that He was the Messiah by faith and proved their faith by following after Him.
This subject has been one of the hardest for me to overcome and relearn. I am a church planter that is (even now) surrounded by pragmatism and quick-prayerism, but stands against those things. It is hard to hear other planters proclaim their 30s and 40s attendance in relation to my 15 or less month by month. However, I am grateful that our church family is growing in Christ and sticking with the scriptures. I would not have it any other way.
I regret my past teachings where I led others to pray a prayer and maybe gave them a false hope of salvation. There is and will be a lot to answer for. I fear, especially at the Judgment Seat when many preachers that thrive off of numbers, pragmatism, and the like get so little reward, because they did not “strive lawfully” in the race they ran.
Thanks for your thoughtful comments, rogue.
Really appreciate your heart and concern……..,
Amen Big Gary!! Theology so bad it’s scary and to mention the sickening methods of soteriology….
“Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.” (Luke 15:10)
And boy, am I glad of this, that God simply does not care about numbers.
Exactly.
I love my Jesus. He leaves 99 safe in the fold and goes after 1.
Is this the same Greg “Thank God for Statutes of Limitations” Neal who likes to make secret videos of female parishoners in states of undress?
Maybe it’s not other people’s eternal souls he should be worried about.
Dear BG,
Leave it to you to dredge up something from the past. Dr. Greg, our man of god was just watching god’s creation secretly in various stages of undress. He wanted to make sure that nothing untoward happened with these young nubile souls. And leave it to his detractors to cast this act of concern into a bad light. I wonder How many souls will go to hell because people are criticizing Dr. Greg? Their blood will be on the heads of Dr. Greg’s critics.
Of course.
~BJg
Of course.
How noble of you to point this out, BJg!
“reprove, rebuke, exhort” and all that stuff.
You are, I assume, related to some guy whose first and middle names are Edgar Allan? Happy April 1st.
First, the word “nubile” makes my skin crawl. It’s right up there with “moist.”
Second, every time I’m tempted to get down on politicians who make comebacks after scandals, I remember the IFB and how their leaders don’t have to make comebacks because even when shown for the perverts they are, they never leave.
You see, ever since Darrell upgraded his website, I’ve no access to the little emoticon thingies due to the iOS system on this pad.
You were exactly right. My comments were meant to make the reader’s skin crawl. From reading the articles, it seems that “Dr. ” Greg has, shall we say, a problem?
“They escorted the “evil doer” off church property and according to the man he and others were vilified from the pulpit for wanting to destroy the church.”
This is done over, and over, and over, and over again from pulpits all over the place.
I know this is slightly off topic of the subject of today’s post, but why is it that when anybody disagrees with the Mog it’s suddenly,
“Rebuke not an elder!” or,
“If they would have been of us, they would not have gone out from us!” or,
“Sometimes it’s good to get rid of the chaff!” or,
“They’re like Demus!” or,
“they’re like Alexander the Coppersmith !” or,
“They’re causing discord among the brethren!”
Do these arrogant dictators even believe that they could be wrong? Are they so delusional that they actually believe they are above correction, rebuke, or exhortation?
GREG NEAL (and all the self-proclaimed Mogs, so called)! REPENT! Leave your throne and the little kingdom you’ve set up for yourself. Save YOUR people from youself and get an honest job and work willingly with your hands so that you do not continue to be a burden to the people.
Do, Greg Neal, what you surely demand of others and humble yourself before those you’ve victimized, lied to, and cheated.
B.R.O.
“Save GOD’S people from yourself…”
None of the people in his church are his. Just sayin’. 🙂
For that matter, it’s not his church at all; it’s His church…
Here’s the thing: while I have never EVER done anything like set up a personal peep-show, I do fuck up. A lot. And being happily married, it gets pointed out. And you know what? I own it, deal with it, and move on. Funny thing, I was raised to believe that this was the basic definition of being a “real man”. I confess I have what is probably sinful scorn for men who try to cover up and hide their mistakes. This is the one real indication that they have never repented and aren’t going to improve. They just don’t make fig leaves big enough.
Right-O, Tikatu!
The problem is that men like Greg Neal function as if God’s people and God’s church are his. This is why sick perverts (if he is truly guilty, of course) like Greg Neal continue to exhert power and authority over others; An authority never given to man….NEVER!
Submission is what every member of the body does in relationship to every other member, not what every member does in relationship to a self-proclaimed Mog. There is a consensus in decision making within the ekklesia, church, that lends itself to unity, growth, and edification that a dictator cannot possibly provide. Though not without its problems, it is far better, in that this is the way the early church functioned, than our current corrupt hierarchy where men like Greg Neal lord it over God’s people.
Diotrephes comes to mind. I hesistated in using this name because this is exactly what these men do to marginalize those who disagree with them. Remember Demas?
Wait wait wait – serious question from a Canadian in the audience: in American law there’s a statute of limitations on a sexual crime?
Depends on the crime, and depends on the state in which the offense occurred. This was some sort of unlawful viewing allegation, as I read the article.
In most states there is a suspension of SOL for all minors, and modification of SOL for sex crimes. Greg’s crime was one of voyeurism, which is not considered a sex crime.
That’s my understanding: Taking people’s nude or semi-nude pictures without their permission is an offense, but not a “sex crime” in the way that sexual assault and statutory rape are classified as “sex crimes.”
“Come to the front, and you get a FREE CAR!”
Or AR-15
Anyone giving out M1911s?
It’s always 1911 in Fundystan.
Gee, everyone tells me it’s 1951 in Fundystan.
1911 is the date of the completion of the perfect cannon you can carry in your hand. The completion of the other perfect canon you can carry in your hand was 1611. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Hm. C’mon over Captain, and I’ll let you shoot my Glock 42.
CPT Solo, they came out with the ESV in 1611? Wow. Who knew?
I shot my new 1911 I had built today. No regrets.
So, now I have the perfect bookends for Fundydom. A 1611 (replica) and a 1911. What could I get to represent 1711 and 1811, to complete the set?
For 1811 I recommend the .69 caliber smoothbore flintlock pistol manufactured by Simeon North. I’m not aware of any 1711 models.
Bald Jones, the AR-15 church is in my neck of the woods, at the corner of Hillbilly and Crackville. They believe the individual’s right to bear arms is given directly from God. There’s no reasoning with that kind of mentality.
If you are talking about the church that was mentioned a few weeks back. I just saw that they are doing it again. That is giving away another ar 15.
Love it. “The corner of Hillbilly and Crackville.” Classic.
And you’re right. The 2nd amendment (for these folks) came down from the Mount with Moses. I say this as a gun owner (yes, even an AR-15). I bought the AR-15 twenty years ago for a counter-assault weapon for my job. But there is a serious conflation of religion and the 2nd amendment now, and it worries me.
I don’t see Jesus with an AR-15. This rifle is not a sign of redemption, or of hope, or of life. It’s the polar opposite.
Agree BJG. I build my own AR from scratch. It is a purpose built killing weapon (and pretty awesome, if I do say so myself). I only use it for target practice (I don’t even hunt), but it is silly to pretend that it was designed to do anything other than end human life.
Woodstockgurl, there’s not really much point in trying to reason with people who think with their trigger fingers.
…and not to be weird or anything, but just for giggles I saved the pic onto my computer and inverted the picture to see the extent of their “follow-up procedures.” I noticed a few things:
1.) The information on top is for a child. I would be a bit upset to have my child’s home address listed online for all to see. Especially by a church (just asking for trouble).
2.) The person that “got saved” was a child. Many children are easily manipulated to “pray a prayer and get saved.” Now, many children do get saved at an early age (I was one of them), but many are manipulated to pray and never discipled; so later on in life they begin to doubt their salvation, because they a.) never were saved or b.) believed, but never had help following Christ. Many of these poor kids will probably end up in one of these categories, because they are only a number to these people. I’ve seen it before and it is disgusting.
3.) It looks like the age of this child is either 2, 21, or 211.
4.) No phone number/email or parental contact. Not good.
They would do this at VBS – bus kids in, bombard them with the gospel, fill out “salvation cards.” Pastor would get upset if they were filled out incorrectly. Always kept track of “numbers saved” in every ministry, but then from the pulpit he would say it’s only our job to spread the word, and the Holy Spirit does the rest. Then let the Lord keep track!
If that kid is 211, I want to meet him or her.
I was also saved as a fairly young child, but before I was saved, I had a time of great confusion over whether or not I was saved, in part from a well-meaning but misguided woman who told me I just needed to pray about it.
My mother was… less than pleased when she found out, but thankfully for everyone involved the Lord led me to Himself not long after. (and that time, it wasn’t through saying a prayer!)
This stems from a particularly bad heterodox that was picked up by the revivalist strain of Christianity; namely that a Christian’s security and even salvation depends upon the depth and/or sincerity of a person’s belief. The historic Christian tradition is that it rests on the faithfulness of God.
Found a Chick tract at Walmart last night in the baby section. By the nipples and breast pads – who the hell leaves Jack’s shit in the baby section of Walmart? Did my Christian and civic duty, took it with me to add to my “collection.”
Also found out my wife is completely ignorant of such drivel. Quite happy I married this one.
Our church got complaint calls from stores all the time – Pastor would tell the congregation to not “litter” (my word) that store for a couple weeks.
You mean the “chest pads”? There are no breasts in Fundystan.
and “there is no joy in Muddville.”
Imagine the social change if all IFB decision cards actually represented a conversion!
Oh my! If every card was a conversion, we might have lots of people who were “seven times the children of hell” as those who converted them!
The single biggest distress factor involved as I rethink theology is the fact that there is little to no evidence that “salvation” actually saves most people from anything. Pastors still cheat, commit adultery, rape, lie, steal, use their power and words to create for themselves a nice little kingdom of followers. Converts follow blindly and are given religious reasons to justify the terrible ways they treat other people. The haymens and the owlaylulus punctuate the most inane preaching. People reject real knowledge, scoff at science, and condemn those who are different from them to an eternal hell. And best of all, you can sin freely because you know you have A Ticket to Ride while all these other sinners are going to burn because they won’t believe your words.
Indeed!
So many of these people go through life, thinking “well, at least I’ve said the prayer, so I’m safe”, but they they have had no encounter with the living Christ; they have had no conviction wrought in their hearts by the Holy Spirit; they merely see themselves as having “a ticket to heaven”, and they have no clue about being follower of Christ.
It’s really tragic, that they are messing about with someone’s forever in this manner.
It’s not properly seen as a one-time event; it’s an ongoing relationship– no, Jack Schaap, not with your pastor, but with God and with your community.
In other news, brother Greg has recently replaced the copy machine paper with 32 lb. stock…
Win!!!!!! POST OF THE DAY!!!!
😀
HAHA!!!!! “Measuring 9″ high.”
No need to call Dr. Freud….Greg Neal is simple enough for us to interpret
His stack’s bigger than yours, and he wants you to know it.
I agree with Ben in an above post that Pastor Greg should be working to achieve a 10″ stack of conversion cards for ultimate success. Reminds me of the old Aerosmith song “My big 10 inch.” In the spirit of the theme of this song, let’s re-imagine a verse of the song if it was “fundamentalized” to represent the achievement of a 10″ stack of conversion cards.
“Conversion” records of a MOG that spreads the news
Well a lovin’ MOG that “preaches” the GOOD news
She just loves my big ten inch
stack of “conversion” records confirming my “soul winning achievements” and hullabaloos
And, what are they converting to?
The metric system.
Greg, the girls will be more impressed when you tell them your stack is 22.86 centimeters high.
Centimeters sound kind of liberal and communist, though, so we’d better avoid them. Appearance of evil and all that.
It’s all part of the One World Illuminati Government Shadow Conspiracy End Times Anti- Christ Agenda.
(forgot the TM)
OK, Dr. F, the stack is half a cubit tall, then.
Checking “Prospect” on your card will ensure someone knocking on your door Saturday morning and Thursday evening.
What the stack represents is that a bunch of people filled out some cards.
Hmmm, does Darrell pray over the comments for all of us to get wealthy?
How long does it take to get filthy rich that way?
No, silly. You have to pray over real cards. Praying over the internets doesn’t work because you can’t measure electrons in 9 inches.
I’m sure some number of electrons, lined up end to end, would have a total span of nine inches. But I’m not going to try to calculate how many. It’s too close to bedtime for that.
Never believe a fundy man when he says nine inches. Or six for that matter.
At this rate the whole nation will be converted in two years, and the world in ten. What? This stack is already ten years old? Then the whole world has been converted, job done!
Dummy, size does not matter!
“an eternal soul”
So… they’re mormons?
Yes. They have one convert, and 600 dead ancestors represented in those cards.
Are you sure they were IFB? Maybe it was the ghosts of the Merry Pranksters.
Heeeee. My sister’s family, in the ’70’s, actually had a Lavender VW Bus. They needed it for their five little boys. She’s a heathen Presbyterian, though.
You know these empire builders with their church growth formulas will tell you that the blood of hose you don’t witness to will be on you hands and that the condemned will point you out on the day of judgment and declare to God that you never told them the gospel.
What about the ones who will stand before God on the day of Judgment and declare they are saved because they made a decision to pray the prayer some M-O-g like this has their name written on a piece of paper in a stack of cards somewhere… and God tells them, “I never knew you, depart from me.” :*(
Spot on Don!!!! Again the Fundy MOGs can congratulate themselves for people having “prayed the sinners prayer” so they could “ask Jesus into their hearts” so they may have “a personal relationship” and an “indwelling of the Holy Spirit.”
Note: While a MOG may occasionally rail from the pulpit against “easy-believism” this ONLY applies to sheeple that fill the pews each week for they must adhere to the standards of Fundyland. HOWEVER!!….the names on the conversion cards SHALL BE counted as genuine so as to boost “soul winning” numbers for the churc and the self-righteous MOG.
Every head bowed, Every eye closed. Nobody looking around. If Gid has spoken to your heart this morning would you just slip up your hand. I’m not going to embarrass you. I just want to pray for you . Yes…I see that hand. Yes..God bless you sister. Anyone else?
As the musicians come we’re just going to sing one verse of “Coming Home”. If nobody comes we’re going to close Would you stand and sing with me please…..
Don, why is George interested in nylons’ salvation? Great typo! (“the blood of hose you don’t witness to”)
pffft, “that George…” 😛
I’m going outside to witness to my garden hose now. What if it should burst without having heard the Gospel?
I’m hoping that God is merciful enough to forgive them for being misled. Those who misled them, on the other hand. . .
We used cards like this at our IFB. I took young children into the hall who raised their hands at VBS and at AWANA meetings. These were children who were 5, 6 years old. Some were mentally younger. And I would try to give them the gospel.
Of course, having to write down the information on the cards was important. Can they spell their name? No! Where do they live? The bus picks them up. What is their phone number? Uh, 911? And all the while seconds are ticking by.
With children (or anyone, for that matter), I like to give the gospel slowly. There was never enough time. Some “teachers” seemed to rush it and get results in seconds! And I learned that some kids had done this same thing, “raising their hands because they want to get saved,” lots of times. If they hadn’t understood yet, ….
The thing that consoled me was remembering the Scripture, that “He which hath begun a good work in you will complete it ….”
I don’t think those cards meant much of anything. Certainly not to me!
I have memories as a teenager of being forced to work with a little kid and show them how to be “saved”. I had no training; I didn’t know what I was doing. That kid would have done anything that I, the older kid, said.
I think I led him in a prayer, but I don’t really think he knew what it was about.
I feel so terrible about it now; it has probably shaped my opinion (negative) about much of the IFB “soul-winning” efforts, which is usually knock-on-doors-and-pester-people-every-week, with remarkable poor results.
Greg, I think you need to change the camera angle in your office. I don’t believe that is 9″ high. Aren’t you a pro at setting up a camera by now? Maybe it isn’t clear because there is “another guy” behind the camera.
Hey wait….is there someone changing clothes in the background..lol.
Or Jesus or God.
They only had to swallow 67 goldfish to build that pile!
I happened to spot this question in “Yahoo Answers” today:
I’ve been thinking, yes, and praying, for a while now and I realize that I’ve been sinning all this time posting sarcastic, snide, and downright mean-spirited things on this blog. I had no right to raise my hand against the anointed.
I’m letting all of you know that I’ve truly repented. I just want to go to heaven when I die.
Lest anyone think I was serious, it is April Fools Day.
I am not a fan of IFB “soul-winning.”
However, how do you respond to the “numbers” crowd when they post such pics/thoughts and claim that they are proclaiming the numbers to give glory to God? The IFB’s believe each “conversion slip” represents a conversion so what’s wrong with bragging on God for all the souls he saved?
David in the psalms spent many words bragging on God.
I’m sure Greg Neal would ascribe his motives as purely God-glorifying and not prideful and, without knowing his heart, how can you say otherwise?
Um… Where was God mentioned in the tweet?
I don’t see any praise whatever offered to God in the tweet.
It’s just Shutterbug Greg bragging about his own ability to stack cards (and when it comes to that, I’ve stacked cards higher than that in the office storeroom, so there).
There is video evidence that Greg Neal is a pervert who escaped justice because there was a 1 year statute of limitations on his crimes, and the victims didn’t find out until years later.
He has never repented of that, nor stepped down. I would be very surprised if such a man were interested in glorifying God at all, in any part of his life.
I’m aware of that. I was speaking generically. Greg Neal is not the only fundy to brag on numbers.
Nathen, I appreciate your comments. If they were truly “bragging on God” then that’s awesome. However, as someone who was once in a high-pressure IFB environment, let me share what I have seen.
In general God is portrayed as a basically petty and vengeful being that will zap you if you don’t dot all your “I”s and cross all your “T”s. (The church authority is the final say on exactly how those letters are to be made.) This is generally born out of a well-intentioned fear that people might sin if they found out about God’s grace. God is used as a control mechanism.
This results in people respecting and fearing God, but not loving him. In that environment, a person does not do things to genuinely glorify God (although that is the required vernacular). Rather a person does things to please and appease God. The primary motivation is fear, not love. A desire to truly glorify God comes from love. And we cannot love God without understanding that He first loves us – that He is profoundly different than many churches portray Him.
I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, but it looks to me like the forms are on 32lb paper, and they are also in triplicate as well, one for the senior pastor, one for the asst. pastor and one as a souvenir for the soul winner himself, so actually the stack is only 3″. Bummer
Sure that stack was measured with a calibrated ruler? I demand evidence!
It was measured by the same metrics that allow a pastor to report that a small sanctuary that is three-quarters empty has 600 people in attendance, and for a pastor in a town of maybe 2000 people to report that he has “seen over a million people saved.”
See, this where I have a problem with their view of cheapened salvation. When “getting saved” is merely equating with “You don’t want to burn forever do you? Just say this prayer and believe Jesus died for you so you can live in a gold mansion instead!”
Salvation, and new life is so much more than that. You were dead, but now you have been made alive! You were a slave to sin, but now you are free in Christ! You are adopted, a co-heir, etc.
I believe so many of my spiritual doubts and legalism came from the first view being sold to me. I didn’t want to burn forever, so I prayed the prayer. Now that I’m saved, here’s a really long list of rules to follow if you want to please God. Oh, and if you disobey, remember God killed Ananias and Sapphira, and the children of Israel in the desert….. This is counterfeit Christianity.
Yes. It warps the Gospel, leaving the new believer thinking more, “Whew! I’m glad I got outta that!” instead of “Wow! The Lord of the universe knows me, loves me, and treasures me! He’s saved me! He’s amazing!” The first can leave you with burdensome obligations that you feel you must do; the second thrills your soul and can transform you from the inside out.
I don’t know if anyone has ever done an objective study of what the people marked “Convert” or “Prospect” on those cards think of having been “soul-won,” but it would certainly be interesting.
My hunch is that a large percent of them just say “yes” to get the doorknockers to stop bothering them, and that some other percentage are taking Pascal’s Wager (if these people are right, saying “yes” could get me into heaven; if they’re wrong, I don’t lose much by saying “yes” to them).
Your comment provoked a thought.
We *do* tell kids they are going to hell forever if they don’t pray the prayer and accept Jesus “our way,” now don’t we?
Well, by “we,” I mean fundamentalists. After all, most of us have come from there.
Every children’s ministry and production from the Wordless Book to Awana to Kids for Truth to whatever terrorizes children with a minimal knowledge of sin that God will make them burn forever if they do not respond. Oh, we couch it with, “see what Jesus has done for you so you don’t have to burn?” But the threat is there, designed more to introduce terror of God than to inspire trust.
Jesus didn’t tell the children who came to him about hell. He just loved them. He rebuked his disciples for turning them away. He picked them up and held them close. Because it is not terror that induces trust. It is love and gentleness and patience and mercy.
Most children, treated properly, will do most anything to regain the favor of their parent. They will be sorry for lying, for breaking the lamp, for stealing the cookie, for not coming when called. They will try to change their behavior to please those who love them. And we want to give them a sense that their “crimes” against God are so severe that He will torture them forever?
What a warped view of Love and Parenthood that is. What a distorted view of Children!
Each one represents what, now? I got these people to say this set of words and recite some personal information that I could put on these forms, and so they’re “saved?” My lil’ ol’ mainstream mind is trying to parse this, but–I–I–I got nothin’.
I used to think that this kind of thing was just what loud-mouthed self-appointed preachers did in basement churches that were bound to evaporate as soon as the preacher retired to Florida. But they have pre-printed forms. WHAT.
He should have added “A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always Be Closing”
Those that love me keep my Commandments. Churches are all 501c3 corporations. Information you give them is the Government’s property. Welcome to the nwo the preacher sold you out to, but you thought all Gail Riplinger’s KJVO speeches was going to save you from the tribulation. Haha.
I wanted to hang child abusers, rapists, and murderers. Those who did evil in the sight of the LORD. But if your a true believer it’s about time to know the conversion slip will get your head cut off.
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A silly blog dedicated to Independent Fundamental Baptists, their standards, their beliefs, and their craziness.
First?
Whohoo finally made it! Will my butt cushion be stuffed with convert slips from the 1970s in triplicate?
Second – that was close!! Do I get a second-butted (used) butt cushion???
Awesome… You had me at “nachos”
I love love love the Mutsch reference!
Wait, is he associated with FBCH/HAC now? I thought he was working at one of the phony accredidation and/or home school organizations now?
God isn’t happy, though, unless the stack is at least 10″ high. Greg needs to get cracking!
Speaking of Nine Inches …
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0E9IMgdQ5fc
Yes, conversion slips, just like what the Apostles did.
I was thinking the same thing…
I wonder if the apostles bragged about how long the scroll was with conversion decisioins…
Peter: “Yo, Paul! Look at my scroll of conversion decisions! Four passus and a cubitus!”
Paul: “Sorry there, Stoner, double that for the ‘ol Paulmeister!”
Why don’t we see how vulgar this must be to God? Who do we think we are?
Rev. Bro. Pastor Dr. Standridge: “I am sombody!”
🙁
Yes, you are first, I came out. I guess you came out early enough in the morning.
I confess that I have had little contact with fundie churches, but are these “convert slips” for real? Do IFB churches really do this? Or is this an April Fools Day joke?
Misfortunately, they are real. And I know there are some who actually believe that a “decision card” is a conversion.
I notice the card has only two boxes that can be checked, “Convert” and “Prospect.” Apparently every human is classified as one or the other. There is no box for “Already attending another church,” or “Disillusioned with Fundamentalism,” or “Happily Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Sikh, Zoroastrian, Atheist, or other.”
To be fair, BG, as a Christian, I’d classify anyone who is “Happily Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Sikh, Zoroastrian, Atheist, or other.” as a “prospect” (although I wouldn’t use that term) as well.
Unless you think that being “Happily Buddhist, Hindu, Muslim, Jewish, Sikh, Zoroastrian, Atheist, or other.” will lead someone to faith in Jesus Christ, what else would you classify them as?
In reading the rest of the comments, I realize we’re probably approaching this from different angles. My assumption is that these cards are filled out by “staff” or people working at the church, not by individual attendees themselves. That’s my experience from working at a fundy Bible camp during high school…
Honestly, if I were doing door-to-door proselytizing (which I wouldn’t), I would classify them as not interested in what I’m selling.
Cognitive Dissonance here — why, you can’t possibly be happy if you’re an adherent of something other than fundamentalism! (Or so our pastor taught us when we were in junior high and were urged to challenge the presuppositions of our non-fundy friends.)
When I was at my fundie church I tried to get them to go digital, but the response was, “what would we use to go followup on Thursday evening?”
My Response: “A printout?” I had an idea to put the convert cards on everyone’s smartphones. Of course this was of the devil.
I guess its a good thing they didn’t go all digital. Fortunately there are probably thousands upon thousands of convert cards that have been lost under the seats and glove compartments of fundie cars everywhere allowing these folks to “fall through the cracks”.
Besides, can you stack your smart phone nine inches high? Well, can you? Huh?
No, but you can use a bigger font to make your list take up more screen space.
I just had to delete stuff from my phone because I ran out of memory. Too much rock music on there.
No no no no no. Putting them in electronic form will make it far to easy for some wise acre to find & announce all the duplicates!
Yes, they really do this.
At our former church, everyone was supposed to fill one out; it was required if you had any kind of position… from youth pastor to choir member to usher… they were mandatory, and if you weren’t filling them out, they would hunt you down and grip at you.
Of course, it didn’t end there. If you didn’t have enough hours in “soul-winning” or just didn’t go, they’d hold the card over you and gripe at you for not setting a good example.
Then, if you were going, but didn’t have converts, that meant that something was wrong with you — you lacked compassion or had sin in your life.
They grip at a lot of people, so I’ve heard.
They’re a bunch of “touchy-feely” people who grip a lot.
“The amount of fundy proselytes is too damn high!”
I’m voting for your party, Dr. Josh.
^^^ win !!
LOL 😀
This is ridiculous:
1.) It is a show of pride. They are proud to have slips of paper that “confirm” that people got saved. This is just like the obsession with posting attendance numbers, bus numbers, offering numbers, etc. This does not make God proud or prove the Father’s favor.
2.) It is a show of numbers-orientation. If one person “got saved” they would not be presenting or bragging. No, it is all about numbers to this crowd, because numbers “confirms” that what they are doing and the way they do it is correct. We do not need numbers to confirm anything; all we need is God’s Word to confirm it for us.
3.) It is a show of assumptions. No man knows if a person “got saved” or did not. The only way we can even attempt to confirm another person’s salvation is via their verbal profession of faith (Romans 10:9-11) that is backed up by a changed life. In other words, faith proven by works (James 2). I seriously doubt that any of these people did more than prayed a prayer and were proclaimed to be saved by the “soul winner”.
Now, that being said, I am thankful for anyone that truly accepted Christ during their visitation. However, like with Hyles and others, will the majority of that stack of slips show up on Sunday to continue with the doctrine of Christ and be baptized? Probably not. And from what I know of that church, it may be for the best…
The implied claim that Greg Neal, or you or I or any mortal human, has the power to save souls is a rank heresy.
So is the doctrine that saying some magic words is either necessary or sufficient for salvation.
This camp of Fundamentalists has a lot to answer for.
I agree 100%. Per the Bible, it is the Gospel that is the power of God unto salvation (Romans 1:16). We are simple messengers that bear the treasure of the Gospel in our hearts. Through my studies in my few years in the pastorate, I have realized that salvation is not about a magical prayer. Most of the people that believed in Christ in Scripture did not pray to Him for salvation. They trusted that He was the Messiah by faith and proved their faith by following after Him.
This subject has been one of the hardest for me to overcome and relearn. I am a church planter that is (even now) surrounded by pragmatism and quick-prayerism, but stands against those things. It is hard to hear other planters proclaim their 30s and 40s attendance in relation to my 15 or less month by month. However, I am grateful that our church family is growing in Christ and sticking with the scriptures. I would not have it any other way.
I regret my past teachings where I led others to pray a prayer and maybe gave them a false hope of salvation. There is and will be a lot to answer for. I fear, especially at the Judgment Seat when many preachers that thrive off of numbers, pragmatism, and the like get so little reward, because they did not “strive lawfully” in the race they ran.
Thanks for your thoughtful comments, rogue.
Really appreciate your heart and concern……..,
Amen Big Gary!! Theology so bad it’s scary and to mention the sickening methods of soteriology….
“Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner that repenteth.” (Luke 15:10)
And boy, am I glad of this, that God simply does not care about numbers.
Exactly.
I love my Jesus. He leaves 99 safe in the fold and goes after 1.
Is this the same Greg “Thank God for Statutes of Limitations” Neal who likes to make secret videos of female parishoners in states of undress?
Maybe it’s not other people’s eternal souls he should be worried about.
Dear BG,
Leave it to you to dredge up something from the past. Dr. Greg, our man of god was just watching god’s creation secretly in various stages of undress. He wanted to make sure that nothing untoward happened with these young nubile souls. And leave it to his detractors to cast this act of concern into a bad light. I wonder How many souls will go to hell because people are criticizing Dr. Greg? Their blood will be on the heads of Dr. Greg’s critics.
Of course.
~BJg
Of course.
How noble of you to point this out, BJg!
“reprove, rebuke, exhort” and all that stuff.
You are, I assume, related to some guy whose first and middle names are Edgar Allan? Happy April 1st.
First, the word “nubile” makes my skin crawl. It’s right up there with “moist.”
Second, every time I’m tempted to get down on politicians who make comebacks after scandals, I remember the IFB and how their leaders don’t have to make comebacks because even when shown for the perverts they are, they never leave.
You see, ever since Darrell upgraded his website, I’ve no access to the little emoticon thingies due to the iOS system on this pad.
You were exactly right. My comments were meant to make the reader’s skin crawl. From reading the articles, it seems that “Dr. ” Greg has, shall we say, a problem?
http://fbcjaxwatchdog.blogspot.com/2011/08/peeping-pastor-jacksonville-baptist.html
“They escorted the “evil doer” off church property and according to the man he and others were vilified from the pulpit for wanting to destroy the church.”
This is done over, and over, and over, and over again from pulpits all over the place.
I know this is slightly off topic of the subject of today’s post, but why is it that when anybody disagrees with the Mog it’s suddenly,
“Rebuke not an elder!” or,
“If they would have been of us, they would not have gone out from us!” or,
“Sometimes it’s good to get rid of the chaff!” or,
“They’re like Demus!” or,
“they’re like Alexander the Coppersmith !” or,
“They’re causing discord among the brethren!”
Do these arrogant dictators even believe that they could be wrong? Are they so delusional that they actually believe they are above correction, rebuke, or exhortation?
GREG NEAL (and all the self-proclaimed Mogs, so called)! REPENT! Leave your throne and the little kingdom you’ve set up for yourself. Save YOUR people from youself and get an honest job and work willingly with your hands so that you do not continue to be a burden to the people.
Do, Greg Neal, what you surely demand of others and humble yourself before those you’ve victimized, lied to, and cheated.
B.R.O.
“Save GOD’S people from yourself…”
None of the people in his church are his. Just sayin’. 🙂
For that matter, it’s not his church at all; it’s His church…
Here’s the thing: while I have never EVER done anything like set up a personal peep-show, I do fuck up. A lot. And being happily married, it gets pointed out. And you know what? I own it, deal with it, and move on. Funny thing, I was raised to believe that this was the basic definition of being a “real man”. I confess I have what is probably sinful scorn for men who try to cover up and hide their mistakes. This is the one real indication that they have never repented and aren’t going to improve. They just don’t make fig leaves big enough.
Right-O, Tikatu!
The problem is that men like Greg Neal function as if God’s people and God’s church are his. This is why sick perverts (if he is truly guilty, of course) like Greg Neal continue to exhert power and authority over others; An authority never given to man….NEVER!
Submission is what every member of the body does in relationship to every other member, not what every member does in relationship to a self-proclaimed Mog. There is a consensus in decision making within the ekklesia, church, that lends itself to unity, growth, and edification that a dictator cannot possibly provide. Though not without its problems, it is far better, in that this is the way the early church functioned, than our current corrupt hierarchy where men like Greg Neal lord it over God’s people.
Diotrephes comes to mind. I hesistated in using this name because this is exactly what these men do to marginalize those who disagree with them. Remember Demas?
Wait wait wait – serious question from a Canadian in the audience: in American law there’s a statute of limitations on a sexual crime?
Depends on the crime, and depends on the state in which the offense occurred. This was some sort of unlawful viewing allegation, as I read the article.
In most states there is a suspension of SOL for all minors, and modification of SOL for sex crimes. Greg’s crime was one of voyeurism, which is not considered a sex crime.
That’s my understanding: Taking people’s nude or semi-nude pictures without their permission is an offense, but not a “sex crime” in the way that sexual assault and statutory rape are classified as “sex crimes.”
“Come to the front, and you get a FREE CAR!”
Or AR-15
Anyone giving out M1911s?
It’s always 1911 in Fundystan.
Gee, everyone tells me it’s 1951 in Fundystan.
1911 is the date of the completion of the perfect cannon you can carry in your hand. The completion of the other perfect canon you can carry in your hand was 1611. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Hm. C’mon over Captain, and I’ll let you shoot my Glock 42.
CPT Solo, they came out with the ESV in 1611? Wow. Who knew?
I shot my new 1911 I had built today. No regrets.
So, now I have the perfect bookends for Fundydom. A 1611 (replica) and a 1911. What could I get to represent 1711 and 1811, to complete the set?
For 1811 I recommend the .69 caliber smoothbore flintlock pistol manufactured by Simeon North. I’m not aware of any 1711 models.
Bald Jones, the AR-15 church is in my neck of the woods, at the corner of Hillbilly and Crackville. They believe the individual’s right to bear arms is given directly from God. There’s no reasoning with that kind of mentality.
If you are talking about the church that was mentioned a few weeks back. I just saw that they are doing it again. That is giving away another ar 15.
http://www.grandviewoutdoors.com/articles/3900-new-york-church-spurns-critics-raffles-second-ar-15-rifle#sthash.i59YrbTH.dpbs
Love it. “The corner of Hillbilly and Crackville.” Classic.
And you’re right. The 2nd amendment (for these folks) came down from the Mount with Moses. I say this as a gun owner (yes, even an AR-15). I bought the AR-15 twenty years ago for a counter-assault weapon for my job. But there is a serious conflation of religion and the 2nd amendment now, and it worries me.
I don’t see Jesus with an AR-15. This rifle is not a sign of redemption, or of hope, or of life. It’s the polar opposite.
Agree BJG. I build my own AR from scratch. It is a purpose built killing weapon (and pretty awesome, if I do say so myself). I only use it for target practice (I don’t even hunt), but it is silly to pretend that it was designed to do anything other than end human life.
Woodstockgurl, there’s not really much point in trying to reason with people who think with their trigger fingers.
…and not to be weird or anything, but just for giggles I saved the pic onto my computer and inverted the picture to see the extent of their “follow-up procedures.” I noticed a few things:
1.) The information on top is for a child. I would be a bit upset to have my child’s home address listed online for all to see. Especially by a church (just asking for trouble).
2.) The person that “got saved” was a child. Many children are easily manipulated to “pray a prayer and get saved.” Now, many children do get saved at an early age (I was one of them), but many are manipulated to pray and never discipled; so later on in life they begin to doubt their salvation, because they a.) never were saved or b.) believed, but never had help following Christ. Many of these poor kids will probably end up in one of these categories, because they are only a number to these people. I’ve seen it before and it is disgusting.
3.) It looks like the age of this child is either 2, 21, or 211.
4.) No phone number/email or parental contact. Not good.
They would do this at VBS – bus kids in, bombard them with the gospel, fill out “salvation cards.” Pastor would get upset if they were filled out incorrectly. Always kept track of “numbers saved” in every ministry, but then from the pulpit he would say it’s only our job to spread the word, and the Holy Spirit does the rest. Then let the Lord keep track!
If that kid is 211, I want to meet him or her.
I was also saved as a fairly young child, but before I was saved, I had a time of great confusion over whether or not I was saved, in part from a well-meaning but misguided woman who told me I just needed to pray about it.
My mother was… less than pleased when she found out, but thankfully for everyone involved the Lord led me to Himself not long after. (and that time, it wasn’t through saying a prayer!)
This stems from a particularly bad heterodox that was picked up by the revivalist strain of Christianity; namely that a Christian’s security and even salvation depends upon the depth and/or sincerity of a person’s belief. The historic Christian tradition is that it rests on the faithfulness of God.
Found a Chick tract at Walmart last night in the baby section. By the nipples and breast pads – who the hell leaves Jack’s shit in the baby section of Walmart? Did my Christian and civic duty, took it with me to add to my “collection.”
Also found out my wife is completely ignorant of such drivel. Quite happy I married this one.
Our church got complaint calls from stores all the time – Pastor would tell the congregation to not “litter” (my word) that store for a couple weeks.
You mean the “chest pads”? There are no breasts in Fundystan.
and “there is no joy in Muddville.”
Imagine the social change if all IFB decision cards actually represented a conversion!
Oh my! If every card was a conversion, we might have lots of people who were “seven times the children of hell” as those who converted them!
The single biggest distress factor involved as I rethink theology is the fact that there is little to no evidence that “salvation” actually saves most people from anything. Pastors still cheat, commit adultery, rape, lie, steal, use their power and words to create for themselves a nice little kingdom of followers. Converts follow blindly and are given religious reasons to justify the terrible ways they treat other people. The haymens and the owlaylulus punctuate the most inane preaching. People reject real knowledge, scoff at science, and condemn those who are different from them to an eternal hell. And best of all, you can sin freely because you know you have A Ticket to Ride while all these other sinners are going to burn because they won’t believe your words.
Indeed!
So many of these people go through life, thinking “well, at least I’ve said the prayer, so I’m safe”, but they they have had no encounter with the living Christ; they have had no conviction wrought in their hearts by the Holy Spirit; they merely see themselves as having “a ticket to heaven”, and they have no clue about being follower of Christ.
It’s really tragic, that they are messing about with someone’s forever in this manner.
It’s not properly seen as a one-time event; it’s an ongoing relationship– no, Jack Schaap, not with your pastor, but with God and with your community.
In other news, brother Greg has recently replaced the copy machine paper with 32 lb. stock…
Win!!!!!! POST OF THE DAY!!!!
😀
HAHA!!!!! “Measuring 9″ high.”
No need to call Dr. Freud….Greg Neal is simple enough for us to interpret
His stack’s bigger than yours, and he wants you to know it.
I agree with Ben in an above post that Pastor Greg should be working to achieve a 10″ stack of conversion cards for ultimate success. Reminds me of the old Aerosmith song “My big 10 inch.” In the spirit of the theme of this song, let’s re-imagine a verse of the song if it was “fundamentalized” to represent the achievement of a 10″ stack of conversion cards.
“Conversion” records of a MOG that spreads the news
Well a lovin’ MOG that “preaches” the GOOD news
She just loves my big ten inch
stack of “conversion” records confirming my “soul winning achievements” and hullabaloos
And, what are they converting to?
The metric system.
Greg, the girls will be more impressed when you tell them your stack is 22.86 centimeters high.
Centimeters sound kind of liberal and communist, though, so we’d better avoid them. Appearance of evil and all that.
It’s all part of the One World Illuminati Government Shadow Conspiracy End Times Anti- Christ Agenda.
(forgot the TM)
OK, Dr. F, the stack is half a cubit tall, then.
Checking “Prospect” on your card will ensure someone knocking on your door Saturday morning and Thursday evening.
What the stack represents is that a bunch of people filled out some cards.
Hmmm, does Darrell pray over the comments for all of us to get wealthy?
How long does it take to get filthy rich that way?
No, silly. You have to pray over real cards. Praying over the internets doesn’t work because you can’t measure electrons in 9 inches.
I’m sure some number of electrons, lined up end to end, would have a total span of nine inches. But I’m not going to try to calculate how many. It’s too close to bedtime for that.
Never believe a fundy man when he says nine inches. Or six for that matter.
At this rate the whole nation will be converted in two years, and the world in ten. What? This stack is already ten years old? Then the whole world has been converted, job done!
Dummy, size does not matter!
“an eternal soul”
So… they’re mormons?
Yes. They have one convert, and 600 dead ancestors represented in those cards.
Are you sure they were IFB? Maybe it was the ghosts of the Merry Pranksters.
Heeeee. My sister’s family, in the ’70’s, actually had a Lavender VW Bus. They needed it for their five little boys. She’s a heathen Presbyterian, though.
You know these empire builders with their church growth formulas will tell you that the blood of hose you don’t witness to will be on you hands and that the condemned will point you out on the day of judgment and declare to God that you never told them the gospel.
What about the ones who will stand before God on the day of Judgment and declare they are saved because they made a decision to pray the prayer some M-O-g like this has their name written on a piece of paper in a stack of cards somewhere… and God tells them, “I never knew you, depart from me.” :*(
Spot on Don!!!! Again the Fundy MOGs can congratulate themselves for people having “prayed the sinners prayer” so they could “ask Jesus into their hearts” so they may have “a personal relationship” and an “indwelling of the Holy Spirit.”
Note: While a MOG may occasionally rail from the pulpit against “easy-believism” this ONLY applies to sheeple that fill the pews each week for they must adhere to the standards of Fundyland. HOWEVER!!….the names on the conversion cards SHALL BE counted as genuine so as to boost “soul winning” numbers for the churc and the self-righteous MOG.
Every head bowed, Every eye closed. Nobody looking around. If Gid has spoken to your heart this morning would you just slip up your hand. I’m not going to embarrass you. I just want to pray for you . Yes…I see that hand. Yes..God bless you sister. Anyone else?
As the musicians come we’re just going to sing one verse of “Coming Home”. If nobody comes we’re going to close Would you stand and sing with me please…..
Don, why is George interested in nylons’ salvation? Great typo! (“the blood of hose you don’t witness to”)
pffft, “that George…” 😛
I’m going outside to witness to my garden hose now. What if it should burst without having heard the Gospel?
I’m hoping that God is merciful enough to forgive them for being misled. Those who misled them, on the other hand. . .
We used cards like this at our IFB. I took young children into the hall who raised their hands at VBS and at AWANA meetings. These were children who were 5, 6 years old. Some were mentally younger. And I would try to give them the gospel.
Of course, having to write down the information on the cards was important. Can they spell their name? No! Where do they live? The bus picks them up. What is their phone number? Uh, 911? And all the while seconds are ticking by.
With children (or anyone, for that matter), I like to give the gospel slowly. There was never enough time. Some “teachers” seemed to rush it and get results in seconds! And I learned that some kids had done this same thing, “raising their hands because they want to get saved,” lots of times. If they hadn’t understood yet, ….
The thing that consoled me was remembering the Scripture, that “He which hath begun a good work in you will complete it ….”
I don’t think those cards meant much of anything. Certainly not to me!
I have memories as a teenager of being forced to work with a little kid and show them how to be “saved”. I had no training; I didn’t know what I was doing. That kid would have done anything that I, the older kid, said.
I think I led him in a prayer, but I don’t really think he knew what it was about.
I feel so terrible about it now; it has probably shaped my opinion (negative) about much of the IFB “soul-winning” efforts, which is usually knock-on-doors-and-pester-people-every-week, with remarkable poor results.
Greg, I think you need to change the camera angle in your office. I don’t believe that is 9″ high. Aren’t you a pro at setting up a camera by now? Maybe it isn’t clear because there is “another guy” behind the camera.
Hey wait….is there someone changing clothes in the background..lol.
Or Jesus or God.
They only had to swallow 67 goldfish to build that pile!
I happened to spot this question in “Yahoo Answers” today:
https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20140401140121AALh3zV
I’ve been thinking, yes, and praying, for a while now and I realize that I’ve been sinning all this time posting sarcastic, snide, and downright mean-spirited things on this blog. I had no right to raise my hand against the anointed.
I’m letting all of you know that I’ve truly repented. I just want to go to heaven when I die.
Lest anyone think I was serious, it is April Fools Day.
I am not a fan of IFB “soul-winning.”
However, how do you respond to the “numbers” crowd when they post such pics/thoughts and claim that they are proclaiming the numbers to give glory to God? The IFB’s believe each “conversion slip” represents a conversion so what’s wrong with bragging on God for all the souls he saved?
David in the psalms spent many words bragging on God.
I’m sure Greg Neal would ascribe his motives as purely God-glorifying and not prideful and, without knowing his heart, how can you say otherwise?
Um… Where was God mentioned in the tweet?
I don’t see any praise whatever offered to God in the tweet.
It’s just Shutterbug Greg bragging about his own ability to stack cards (and when it comes to that, I’ve stacked cards higher than that in the office storeroom, so there).
http://www.stufffundieslike.com/2011/08/pervert-pastor-greg-neal-escapes-prosecution-remains-on-church-staff/
There is video evidence that Greg Neal is a pervert who escaped justice because there was a 1 year statute of limitations on his crimes, and the victims didn’t find out until years later.
He has never repented of that, nor stepped down. I would be very surprised if such a man were interested in glorifying God at all, in any part of his life.
I’m aware of that. I was speaking generically. Greg Neal is not the only fundy to brag on numbers.
Nathen, I appreciate your comments. If they were truly “bragging on God” then that’s awesome. However, as someone who was once in a high-pressure IFB environment, let me share what I have seen.
In general God is portrayed as a basically petty and vengeful being that will zap you if you don’t dot all your “I”s and cross all your “T”s. (The church authority is the final say on exactly how those letters are to be made.) This is generally born out of a well-intentioned fear that people might sin if they found out about God’s grace. God is used as a control mechanism.
This results in people respecting and fearing God, but not loving him. In that environment, a person does not do things to genuinely glorify God (although that is the required vernacular). Rather a person does things to please and appease God. The primary motivation is fear, not love. A desire to truly glorify God comes from love. And we cannot love God without understanding that He first loves us – that He is profoundly different than many churches portray Him.
I don’t mean to be a Debbie Downer, but it looks to me like the forms are on 32lb paper, and they are also in triplicate as well, one for the senior pastor, one for the asst. pastor and one as a souvenir for the soul winner himself, so actually the stack is only 3″. Bummer
Sure that stack was measured with a calibrated ruler? I demand evidence!
It was measured by the same metrics that allow a pastor to report that a small sanctuary that is three-quarters empty has 600 people in attendance, and for a pastor in a town of maybe 2000 people to report that he has “seen over a million people saved.”
See, this where I have a problem with their view of cheapened salvation. When “getting saved” is merely equating with “You don’t want to burn forever do you? Just say this prayer and believe Jesus died for you so you can live in a gold mansion instead!”
Salvation, and new life is so much more than that. You were dead, but now you have been made alive! You were a slave to sin, but now you are free in Christ! You are adopted, a co-heir, etc.
I believe so many of my spiritual doubts and legalism came from the first view being sold to me. I didn’t want to burn forever, so I prayed the prayer. Now that I’m saved, here’s a really long list of rules to follow if you want to please God. Oh, and if you disobey, remember God killed Ananias and Sapphira, and the children of Israel in the desert….. This is counterfeit Christianity.
Yes. It warps the Gospel, leaving the new believer thinking more, “Whew! I’m glad I got outta that!” instead of “Wow! The Lord of the universe knows me, loves me, and treasures me! He’s saved me! He’s amazing!” The first can leave you with burdensome obligations that you feel you must do; the second thrills your soul and can transform you from the inside out.
I don’t know if anyone has ever done an objective study of what the people marked “Convert” or “Prospect” on those cards think of having been “soul-won,” but it would certainly be interesting.
My hunch is that a large percent of them just say “yes” to get the doorknockers to stop bothering them, and that some other percentage are taking Pascal’s Wager (if these people are right, saying “yes” could get me into heaven; if they’re wrong, I don’t lose much by saying “yes” to them).
Your comment provoked a thought.
We *do* tell kids they are going to hell forever if they don’t pray the prayer and accept Jesus “our way,” now don’t we?
Well, by “we,” I mean fundamentalists. After all, most of us have come from there.
Every children’s ministry and production from the Wordless Book to Awana to Kids for Truth to whatever terrorizes children with a minimal knowledge of sin that God will make them burn forever if they do not respond. Oh, we couch it with, “see what Jesus has done for you so you don’t have to burn?” But the threat is there, designed more to introduce terror of God than to inspire trust.
Jesus didn’t tell the children who came to him about hell. He just loved them. He rebuked his disciples for turning them away. He picked them up and held them close. Because it is not terror that induces trust. It is love and gentleness and patience and mercy.
Most children, treated properly, will do most anything to regain the favor of their parent. They will be sorry for lying, for breaking the lamp, for stealing the cookie, for not coming when called. They will try to change their behavior to please those who love them. And we want to give them a sense that their “crimes” against God are so severe that He will torture them forever?
What a warped view of Love and Parenthood that is. What a distorted view of Children!
Each one represents what, now? I got these people to say this set of words and recite some personal information that I could put on these forms, and so they’re “saved?” My lil’ ol’ mainstream mind is trying to parse this, but–I–I–I got nothin’.
I used to think that this kind of thing was just what loud-mouthed self-appointed preachers did in basement churches that were bound to evaporate as soon as the preacher retired to Florida. But they have pre-printed forms. WHAT.
He should have added “A-B-C. A-Always, B-Be, C-Closing. Always Be Closing”
Those that love me keep my Commandments. Churches are all 501c3 corporations. Information you give them is the Government’s property. Welcome to the nwo the preacher sold you out to, but you thought all Gail Riplinger’s KJVO speeches was going to save you from the tribulation. Haha.
I wanted to hang child abusers, rapists, and murderers. Those who did evil in the sight of the LORD. But if your a true believer it’s about time to know the conversion slip will get your head cut off.