Church Business

Staff Handbooks: North Valley Baptist Church Edition

634 Comments

Ever wonder what kind of rules people have to live by when they’re on the staff of a hardcore fundamentalist church? Ever stop to think exactly how much control the pastor has directly of their personal lives?

Presented here without further commentary is the Staff Manual for North Valley Baptist Church, kingdom of Jack “the pastor is your shepherd you shall not want” Treiber.

(If you’d prefer not to read it on scribd you can also directly download the PDF)

634 thoughts on “Staff Handbooks: North Valley Baptist Church Edition”

  1. I understand the need for professional behavior and appearance but this is micromanagement to the extreme. 😕 At least anyone working there has been given fair warning about what their business and personal life will be like 🙁 .

  2. Darrell, please tell me this was made up. It is sickening to read. All I see is “Me, My, MINE!!!”

  3. Dear After Glow

    I am an ex-member of this church. I thank my God he delivered me from it’s bondage after many years of not knowing anything but this IFB church after my conversion. (I wasn’t saved there, but was baptized)

    As for this “clown”, Dr. Trieber was taken under Jack Hyles’ wings in the late 1970’s. By the way, he got his honorary doctorate frm Hyles Anderson! He was more than a Hyles protege, I heard Hyles with my own ears declare Jack Trieber as the next most important man in America, next to himself! You can hear Trieber recall this story (if the video is still on the First Baptist of Hammond’s website) when Trieber rushed there immediately after Schaap’s fall to preach to its membership. Trieber tells the story in his “humble bumble” way, almost as a joke but don’t be fooled by this. It is his M.O. and the message is serious…If Hyles said it, you’d better think of me that way too!”

    Since the late 1970’s this church has been plagued with one sex scandal after another, members and staff alike. No wonder he will fire anyone with a lust problem! It is a First Baptist of Hammmond clone and “numbers” have always been of #1 concern and importance. If you know anything of Jack Hyles’ methods, read any of his books from 1980’s onward, then you will understand who this Dr. Jack Trieber is and what kind of church HE RULES OVER!

    1. In response to After Glow’s question, “Who is this clown?”….Was a close friend of Dr. Jack Hyles. If you know Jack Hyles’ methods, read his books from the 1980’s onward, then you will have a clear idea who Dr. Jack Trieber is (his doctorate is honorary from Hyles Anderson)and the kind of church he rules over.

      1. I knew some of the staff there back in the day…quotas for souls down the isle and in the baptistry…public embarrassment in staff meetings for not having the #’s…pressure to produce ect…glad you escaped that nonsense ❗

        1. Our church had the same rule. The only problem was that the people on the platform (who filled out the decision slips were mostly related to the pastor. So when your convert waked the aisle to make a decision, they’d get “snagged” by someone else for their numbers.

      2. We attended North Valley in 1970-73 before we left and went to Los Gatos Christian Church. Our sons also attended North Valley School. It quickly became a cult where we were told how to brush our teeth and dresses women should wear. Trieber was a total control freak. He forbade everyone to have a TV so when he would be making the rounds people would call each other and warn them to cover their TV’s. Trieber was a very sick in the mind person and his wife and daughter were totally brainwashed. He tried telling me total lies and misrepresentations of what the Bible said. We saw him for what he is and got out as quickly as possible. Non of this news surprises me at all. Why hasn’t anyone shut him down. He is ruining lots of kids, women and others. He IS NOT A MAN OF GOD, HE IS A SICK ABUSIVE EVIL PERSON.

    2. “Most-important-man-in-America-next-to-Jack-Hyles” is an interesting claim. If true, that makes him about the 125,638,742nd most important man in America. (Since the category is “men,” I’m not counting important women, important children, or important dogs here.)

  4. 600+ pages of stark raving batpoop crazy rantings of an egotistical madman. Possibly one of the most pathetic human souls to disgrace the planet, and he actually thinks those who work for him should be elated for the very privilege! He’s a blind man, leading the blind. Too many enablers allow this man to hold power over them. GET. OUT.

    1. I’m not sure how many people realize how many markers of serious sociopathic neurosis this man exhibits. I actually thought this was a parady when I first read it, because most crazy people are smart enough to at least try and hide it…

      1. “because most crazy people are smart enough to at least try and hide it
”

        Not the control-freak Fundystan pastors. Everything must be done in order…whose order? The Mannogawds.

        OCD extreme 😯

      2. It depends on the flavor of crazy. Megalomaniacs never try to hide it. They think it should be obvious to everyone how uniquely great they are.

    2. . . . six hundred pages?

      SIX–

      Okay, I actually looked at the PDF. Why is it all in gigantic type? 16 lines per page is absurd. Why do people have to tote around something that takes up more than a ream when it could be put into a standard 1″ ring notebook, with all of the micromanaging included?

      Or was the PDF just as badly done as most of the “called and separated” tomfoolery that goes on in these churches? Is the actual handbook smaller?

      No, no, I went to Scribd.com and it really is 622 pages long. WOW.

      Also, why did this guy feel “called” to repeat the stuff that was in my general office procedures textbook back in secretary school? Badly, no less. 🙄

      1. He probably dicatated the whole thing to his secretary over months and never gave thought to how long it was. And someone else said it was probably formatted like that so it could easily be read on an iPhone.

  5. I got as far as the part that told you how you are to open a ream of paper in the workroom, and had to stop.

    I hope my boss doesn’t freak out when I hug her tomorrow.

    Eh, she’ll live.

  6. I spent the day at my church today working on an upcoming community event we are doing on Sunday. While I was there my Pastor came down twice to ask if I was okay, if I needed anything, or if there was anything he could do for me. He came down once to ask my opinion about a sermon point he was working on. He was wearing casual clothes and sporting a five o’clock shadow.

    I’m so glad to be out of that crazy world and to have a Pastor who genuinely cares about his flock and the community around us. I see Jesus in my pastor, and he encourages us to be Jesus to our community.

    1. This is how it should be!

      Humility, love, authenticity vs. arrogance, judgmentalism, and a forced facade of false happiness. I’d go with the first any day!

      1. “This is how it should be” pant pant pant……….PW…does it make you feel as good as it sounds to attack so viciously those who( while just living their life) make you feel guilty for your disobedience …….unbelievable!! đŸ˜„

        3. I really don’t want to ruin all the fun your type has, so hatefully mocking those Hyle’s folks. I just like to remind you that others find your behavior cowardly and disgraceful đŸ˜„ and also to remind you of your judgement to come…sometimes when you feed off each others hate so blindly (even in this Geekish- cowardly style) you need to be reminded that it is taken seriously by God, and you will be separated from your pack…..and dealt with as individuals by him. 🙁

    3. Tena: Great pastor! He seems to fulfill what a pastor should be. I cannot imagine my former pastor asking my advice about a sermon point.

    4. Yeah, but does he put ArmorAll on his tires? After all, that’s the mark of a true christian.

      Seriously, your pastor sounds like what a christian should be as explained in the New Testament.

  7. Read about half of it. He even says the goal to the staffs’ ministries should be to find the goal to his ministry?!? I can understand why everybody needs to be on the same page, but Trieber is wanting staff to be exactly life him. Crazy!

  8. A undershepherd is just that.

    Leader? Yes. “rule over you” yes—but only in the since of spiritual authority.

    James 4:11-12 has much to say about sitting in a seat that doesnt belong to you in the area of judging. Only God can do that.

    smh

  10. Apologize even if it’s not your fault?
    Oh this just gets better & better…
    Is this guy really telling people what to do on their Saturday?????
    “You should have Armor All on your tires.”

  11. “Health related appointments Medical appointments should not be scheduled during regular work hours.”

    When is the staff NOT working?

    1. As supported by page 269:

      “The ministry means long hours. Eight hours a day cannot get the job done.”

    2. Sounds like a way of kicking anyone with a health problem off the staff without visibly doing it for health reasons. Particularly given that some of the staff have the timeframes they can even take vacation in set in stone by the pastor in the handbook.

      Sure someone could probably manage to use a sick day for an acute recent-onset condition, but for anything with a ‘blood labwork every six months or we won’t renew this prescription that can cause liver damage long-term’ requirement for more than once-annually checkups?

      Seems to me like the full-time staff is under a requirement to not use the medical coverage for anything chronic or lose the coverage through firing for missed days due to using the medical coverage.

  12. “Remember that the Copy & Supply Rooms are not general storage areas.Please check with Pastor if you feel something needs to be stored there.”

    Really?

    Trieber not only has to sign each and every purchase order (Does he think the school principal too lame to operate within a budget or something?), but staff needs to ask him if they can store an item in the storage area?

    Can’t the office manager be tasked with that responsibility?

    It appears he is convinced his staff is wildly incompetent, and he is simply OCD to the extreme.

    1. I imagine that staff manual is pretty effective at weeding out most of the competent people who might otherwise work there.

  13. Help me solve this contradiction:

    4. If a staff member is not available, try to discover the reason for the call. It could be that the individual doesn’t need to speak with the person for whom he called.“Perhaps I can help you. What was it you wanted to discuss with (staff member’sname) ?”

    7. Never answer questions for another staff member or about his ministry. Always offer to let the caller leave a message on the staf member’s voice mail.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    So are they suppose to offer to help or just dump them into the staff member’s voice mail.

    Contradictory instructions cause staff to always question their actions and help making working for the dictator like walking through a mine field.

    1. It’s so that the staff can be dismissed for not following the rules… if they contradict, they must be breaking at least one of the rules!

      Actually, the idea is that if the caller happened to know the not-in-office-staff, but had a general question, the answered-the-phone staff may be able to answer the question. If it related to the man’s ministry, they were not to answer it.

    2. It’s simple: Always try to answer questions for another staff member, and never answer questions for another staff member.

      Any questions?

  14. “Absentees from Sunday are to be submitted to the Pastor’ssecretary by Monday morning.”

    Yeah members, in case you ever wondered, you are being closely monitored.

  15. “20. Walk with God on Sunday morning. Get up early—not late—and prepare to meet your God.”

    He can’t be serious.

    “Prepare to meet your God”?

    And to think that all this time Trieber has kept God is a box at North Valley Baptist Church, only allowing him to come out on Sundays.

    🙄

    3. That almost sounds like the line a murder might use in a movie “Prepare to meet your God.” (Didn’t some of the Anti-Christ’s people say that in the Left Behind books before martyring Christians?)

    4. Prepare to meet your god on Sunday morning, he’ll be standing at the pulpit shouting at you.

  16. 18. Never tell anything negative about our college. For example, don’t give an illustration if it involves expelling a student.

    19. Only be positive about the school — the enthusiastic spirit, the beautiful campus,the beautiful area, the soulwinning, the church, the pastor, etc.

    20. Represent Brother Trieber. Use his name in greeting the people, the pastor, and in thanking the pastor and people for their students if they have sent us students…

    Slick marketing for the school and pastor. Only rainbows and unicorns…The sun shines 24/7 at NVBC and GSBC.

    He did forget to tell them not to roll their eyes and to try to keep a straight face while saying all this.

    🙄

      1. Last time I checked, over 3,000 people looked at the doc. Guess the cat’s out of the bag on this one!

    2. “Use his name in greeting the people, the pastor, and in thanking the pastor and people …”

      “Grace and peace to you from God our Father and from our Lord Pastor Treiber … and in the name of the Father, the Son, and Brother Pastor Treiber, amen.”

  17. “During the meeting, the preliminaries should take no longer than twenty minutes. If your meeting begins at 7:00 P.M., your speaker should be in the pulpit no later than 7:20 P.M.”

    “The preliminaries” – Oh, you mean that time other churches call “worship”? 😕

      1. Oh, they know what worship is, alright.

        They’re just a wee bit confused as to the appropriate object.

  18. On page 143:

    1. no homework on Wednesdays and on weekends.

    2. basically, no homework during the week.

    3. no seat work going home

    Well NVBC members, if you ever wondered if your kids were getting a subpar education, here is your proof.
    đŸ˜„

    1. My old pastor constantly used to say that the main goal of the school was not to educate children but win souls.

  19. Page 154:

    “Great staff members portray excitement whenever the pastor is conducting a meeting”

    Because we know it is all about the pastor…and he does inspect his backside often to see who left their lip marks there.

  20. page 165:

    “A project can be discussed for clarification; however, it cannot be debated.”

    No Mr. Staff member, your opinion truly does not matter. You were brought on board for your @$$ kissing skills and slave labor for the pastor’s glory, not your opinions.

  21. Page 178:

    “One of the best ways for me to do this is to discover problems throughout a week which are simply opportunities, bring them to a public staff meeting, and then correct those things publicly. If it is something of great embarrassment, I would never publicly humiliate you. I give correction publicly not to embarrass people but so thatI don’t have to repeat myself fifteen times or more to get my point across to all the other staff members.”

    Interpretation:

    I am SO going to embarrass you during the staff meeting. 😳

    1. Oh and embarrass he does.

      There was a staff member with small children and Pastor asked for a ride with said staff member to somewhere local. Well the kids had left crumbs on the seat along with a few assorted toys.

      The next big meeting (they’re called 2:55 meetings) Pastor Trieber proceeded to describe how disgusting it was to ride in this staff members vehicle and how gross it was to have to brush the crumbs off his clothes upon exiting the car. He went on to say how he hoped that staff member hadn’t transported and church members in such filth.

      Well we ALL knew who Pastor was talking about because during lunch, a week prior to the meeting that very staff member was describing how “excited and nervous” he was that Pastor had asked him to take him to (I think it was) the airport. He went on to say how his “heart nearly stopped” when he remembered that his car was in disarray but how it was to late clean up before Pastor would see. After putting Pastor’s suitcase in his trunk he apologized profusely for the mess and that it had been a busy week and he didn’t have time to get his car detailed during the weekend.

      The staff member concluded the lunch conversation with “I was just happy he asked me and I counted it a privilege”.

      Pastor Trieber concluded the 2:55 meeting with “I don’t want to hear apologies or excuses. I want results!”

      1. That’s so sad to think of the staff member so happy to be chosen only to end up mocked and scolded because his car wasn’t perfect.

        Can you imagine Jesus? “Let the little children come unto me, but don’t get any crumbs on my robes. No snot or dirty diapers either. After all, I’m the Son of God.” 😐

        Jesus rode on a colt. He taught on hillsides and from stinky fishing boats. He had nowhere to lay His head. He walked among us as one of us, and we are to follow His example of servanthood. Jesus specifically warned us not to lord it over other people, but to serve them.

      2. So, seriously, why do people stay? Are there so many people who are afraid to lose their paycheck? Is the pay really that much better than McDonald’s?

        More importantly, do the people truly think that this is what God wants for them?

        Your insider’s perspective is very interesting to me.

        1. MSK, as a former member of North Valley I can tell you it’s because of fear. We are told the blessings of God are on North Valley, the spirit of the Lord is at North Valley and to leave removes you & your family from the will of God. It’s fearmongering at the highest and he learned it from the best. J1 & J2.

        2. I second Eli@Cas. I went to a NVBC-esque church and after the first year or so fear was the reason that I stayed. Fear of being unsaved. Fear of ending up on drugs or something of the sort. It was to the point that my husband and I didn’t tell each other that we wanted to leave for months because we were afraid that the other would haul us before pastor for “counsel”.

        3. Eli and Jumper Junkie pretty much summed it up. Leaving is not easy because of the way Pastor has it set up. If you want to leave you should go to him for counsel. During counsel he’ll tell you he thinks you should stay. If you leave anyway you have just gone against the wisdom and advise of your shepherd which is a big no-no.

          If you leave without getting his counsel then you have just made a decision that will ultimately affect you and your family for generations to come without getting Pastor’s approval -also a major no-no.

          So people end up staying.

          Many staff (church, college, school) would leave asap if they were convinced the transition would be easy. But they know it wont be.

          Also there are those who want to leave, but are convinced that it is God’s Will for them to stay. It has been drilled into our brain that to leave the ministry is to settle for second best. So some staff wont leave because they are convinced that if they did they would be doing an inferior work.

  22. Page 181:

    “I am looking for obedient servants
    — servants that are not interested in delegating, challenging and questioning”

    Yes, we know…only “yes men” should apply – same for the deacon board, I am sure. 🙄

    1. From the Jack Trieber Glossary of Biblical Definitions:

      Servant Leadership: A biblical concept that means you owe your pastor your complete obedience and devotion. I am the leader and you are my servants.

  23. page 189:

    “I am convinced that anoverwhelming majority of
    people in the Lord’s work worldwide are working in the energy of the flesh.”

    That is because you have been in the IFBx too long. 😉

      1. Women getting work done in the ministry while wearing pants, and men getting work done in the ministry with hair that touches their collars. I think he’s secretly jealous. 😛

  24. page 202:

    “Certainly we are going to identify heresies and doctrine that is unsound.”

    Oh, like when he DIDN’T CRITICIZE Jack Schaap’s book The Divine Intimacy; And when he said NOTHING after Schaap was whacking off that arrow in front of thousands of teens; And when he was SILENT when Schaap denied Christ’s unity with the Father?

    🙄

    1. You misunderstand. Unsound doctrines are ideas like the notion that the Pastor is not all-powerful, or that women can wear pants, or that putting Armor-All on your tires is optional.

    2. Dear Used-To-Be-Fundy:

      That is exactly the ‘challenging and questioning’ behavior which page 181 forbids. Now pack your things and clear out of your office!

      Christian Socialist, for Jack Trieber

      PS: Smile as you leave and keep your trap shut.

      1. CS – Please complete your instructions about how and when he is to leave town (see Termination item #10). We wouldn’t want him to have any discrection in that regard. Bro Bluto

        1. Dear Bro Bluto:

          Oh yeah! That’s right! Don’t answer the phone and don’t talk with members. Of course if I don’t answer the phone, how will I know that this call is from a member, and not from my mother-in-law or a political campaigner?

          Pastor Trieber must be the first to have written a church staff manual with a thumb stuck inexplicably in a bodily orifice.

          Christian Socialist

  25. I surely do hope that potential staff members see this before they accept a job at this church. I’m assuming they do because Trieber would want to make sure that they were willing to comply.

    BJU didn’t unveil their most onerous rules until you were already enrolled and in the dorms, but hopefully staff members here realize what they’re signing up for.

    1. At my NVBC-esque church, we did not see it before staff orientation (the first day of employment for me).

    2. Dear pastor’s wife:

      Agreed!

      I would add that God alone is lord of the conscience. Therefore it is never right for the Christian to surrender our conscience to others, for that betrays the true freedom that Christ won for us.

      Such arrangements make insult to Christ requisite for staff employment or student residency.

      Ranking beside that, the other ‘most pernicious rule’ I encountered at Bob Jones University was the prohibition against rebutting a school position.

      Truth matters less than submission to the leader/organization.

      Christian Socialist

  26. It seems to me the irony of ironies that Darrell posted this the day after Boss’s Day.

  27. does anyone know roughly how big this ministry is? I’m wondering if this is just a looney with a church of 300 who’s on a power trip, or whether he’s actually king of a substantially-sized hill. The latter would be scarier.

    1. According to their website they average 3,000 for Sunday service. They have a 65,000 square foot building (church I presume) and a 6 acre college campus.

      Scary indeed.

    2. His website says that he has “over 3000 attendees” on Sunday. If I run that through the Hyles-calibrated BS Meter, I would guess somewhere around 500 “tithing members”…because, by his own admission, that’s all that count.

      1. Bro Bluto – Any idea where Bro D-Day is at these days? 😆

        While you still have your Hyles-calibrated BS Meter handy, can you run these numbers through. From the website, since 1975:

        2.9 million have come to hear God’s word preached
        62,000 have made a profession of faith
        15,00 have been baptised

        2. Scorpio – Thanks for asking about D-Day. Unfortunately, his whereabouts are still unknown.

          I inputed the figures into the Hyles-calibrated BS Meter and this is what came back:
          1. From 1975 to present day, he has had about 6,000 services (Sunday morning, Sunday evening, Wednesday evening plus the occassional special service). Since the same, beaten-down, subserviant people were required to attend all of them, there is your 2.6MM.
          2. Those same 430 people were compelled to walk the aisle at least four times/year a year (once per season). 430 x 37years x 4times/year ~ 62,000
          3. The 15,000 baptisms is one per bus kid.

  28. Man… Could somebody make this readable and not in 36 point helvetica… That alone keeps me from getting past page 8

  29. He said “feel free not to attend staff meeting if you are bored, tired, upset, offended, etc.” After commanding that staff members be bubbly at meetings.
    Why do I have the sneaking suspicion that this invitation is sarcastic, not sincere?

    1. Translation: “Feel free to skip a staff meeting while you clean out your desk and leave town before sundown. I will proceed to tell everyone anything I want to about why you are gone, and I will forbid contact with you so no one hears anything different.”

  30. I was closely associated with several of T’s staff while I was on staff in a church in the area. They had a weekly quota of bringing people down the isle or else they were publically humiliated in staff meetings. They would buy meals for homeless, pay money ect for the promise of walking the isle…I could go on…

    1. Combine that info with Bro Bluto’s post, and those numbers start to look like they came from a politician.

    2. So did he also put the Holy Spirit up for humiliation of He didn’t move in such a way as to meet the quotas?

    4. Saddened, but not surprised; if you force people to have people down the aisle, then they will resort to such tactics.

      The really sad part is that, when they wise up, they may abandon the true God because of such hypocrisy – or they will abandon the church Jesus died for.

      1. It always makes me sad to think of how many people have rejected Christianity because this kind of thing, plus ranting and raving about “sin,” is all they know of Christianity.

    5. Cant’ help but think: “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel across sea and land to make a single proselyte, and when he becomes a proselyte, you make him twice as much a child of hell as yourselves.”

      Millstones for everyone who practices such unbiblical, ungodly crap!

      Someday Treiber and all those who promote this easybelievism/coersive altar call heresy will have to answer to God for it. Is there no fear of his judgment for practicing such and abominable doctrine? How severe will God’s judgment be for those who make false converts with their cheap presentations of the Gospel?
      If they have no fear for themselves, I fear for them!

      1. Don – you, my friend, are on a roll! Let me give you a big, Bro Bluto HAY-MEN (while waving my bible).

  31. I didn’t read the whole thing, but it sounds like it’s basically about how to make ME and MY church look good to everyone else.

  32. Day 2, resuming page 311. I’m pretty sure ole JT would give Hitler a run for his money.

    1. Oh I’m sorry.. Doctor Trieber. I was publicly called out from a pulpit for not referring to him as Doctor.

      So… Doctor Brother Pastor Triber…. there

      1. For a guy who cares little for real education, he sure does love his fake doctorate.

    1. Sorry. I’ve been stalking the site all morning waiting for a new post to come out. Sad, I know. But it’s the little things in life that make it worth living, you know?

      1. What’s that verse about the first being the last and the last being the first? Perhaps you were just commenting biblically 😀

  34. Now I understand the look on the face of the gentlemen sitting behind him — especially if my assumption is correct and it’s his son.

  35. I’m thinking the formatting for this staff manual is so it will be easy reading on smart phones. I read some of it on my i-Phone; perfect formatting for that. Therefore the staff can have the manual to reference where ever they go. 🙄

    1. kind of like binding phylacteries to their foreheads and hearts? How convenient. I’m surprised he encourages i-Phones and iPads in staff meetings. Maybe he has no idea of the grave risk he’s running of someone playing Angry Birds while he pontificates. . . . or worse.
      I have been wondering how he determines what kind of voice is too “breathy” on the phone–and whether this is supposed to be a temptation. I used to work at a call center where this weirdo called up every night to hear female coworkers talk on the phone. He always asked us to talk “slower and quieter” and we could tell something was, erm, happening on the other end of the line. Something along the lines of shaft-polishing. Of course, at our job, we weren’t allowed to hang up the phone on any caller, on penalty of getting fired.
      Anyway . . . maybe Treiber has a similar fetish?

    2. And “Pastor” can read it at the pulpit while preaching, and make sure he doesn’t leave any texts from 16 year old girls unread on his phone as it sits on the puplit.

  36. Seriously, I get better benefits than that on the secondary insurance my school offers. What ever happened to Christian care?

    1. they are still around, heard them advertising on moody radio.

      maybe thats the problem, they went liberal.

      1. Now I’m confused…is there an actual organization out there called “Christian care”? If so I never heard of it.

  37. Many have posted about how controlling this document is, but it is just important to note that the control all passes through one person – Jack (who for some reason refers to himself as Pastor – no article – throughout). If you can’t connect the dots, this means that he is retaining all power to hide or coverup almost anything he chooses. I would immediately suspect something(s) like that is already going on.

    1. Possibly. Use lots of deodorant and always brush your teeth because Pastor likes his women unscented. I noticed how he excludes himself from the Commandment Concerning Mixed-Gender Occupation of Rooms or Vehicles.

  38. Man, this covers everything except how to wipe your butt in the staff member’s bathroom.

    2. You may only use one square of TP.
      Fold it in half, then in half again.
      Tear out the center corner. Save this piece.
      Unfold it, stick your finger through the hole, then stick your finger up your butt.
      Use the sheet to wipe off your finger.
      Use the saved corner to clean under your fingernail.

  39. Ok, so how control freakish and inconsistent is this?
    In the first sentence, he says “Don’t talk to people when you leave.”

    In the second he says “We will talk to everyone.”

    In other words, you do not get to tell people why you left. Only we do,
    And we can say whatever we want and you are not to refute it.

    Jack Trieber, you make me want to vomit.

    5. Break off contact or
    correspondence with church
    members as you leave. You
    will hurt the cause of Christ
    here if you don’t.

    then this:

    9. Please be aware that a full
    explanation will be given to
    the deacon/school board
    regarding the circumstances
    surrounding your
    resignation. Additionally,
    but not exclusively,
    attitude, ethics, and
    problems of a legal or moral
    nature will be covered.

    1. That’s not hard to understand. The meaning is obvious: “I will tell why you left in a manner that exalts the Great and Mighty Treiber. I will make sure I look good to anyone I wish to share your shortcomings with.”

      1. This was the part that I kept shaking my head about. Dr T is telling you he is going to trash you. Plus you can’t even talk to your friends. Once that heartless basterd is through with you just get out. Is that what Jesus did with people? Oh yes and you can’t even get a going away party. What no parting gift will be wasted on you.

  41. Had to download it to my phone to read it. As a former member I’m not surprised, and I’ve been long gone, since the 80’s. He is and always has been a megalomaniac. Everything is for SHOW. Period. So many lives wasted, living like robots following that bull sh**.

    1. Sun Myung Moon, who claimed to be the Messiah, died on September 3, 2012.

      But I think this manual probably predates that vacancy.

  44. I do believe one could illustrate a great deal of the DSM-IV with this handbook. Very sad, and very scary.

    While I gave up after 200 or so pages, I found the following portions particularly red-flag-worthy (though some of these points have already been addressed by the good people of SFL):

    The section about why we are failing to reach people for Christ, the answers are 1)cars are not clean enough, 2)services don’t start on time, 3)clothes aren’t up to snuff, 4)Christians are too fat, 5)buildings aren’t clean enough, 6)pastors don’t treat their wives well.

    That last one made me squint. It doesn’t fit the rest of the list, and I might almost agree with it except that he ends the comment saying “Men of God must treat their wives as befits the spouse of an ambassador.” It’s not that it’s right to treat a woman well, it’s that she belongs to the king of the domain. Nauseating.

    Then there was this collection of gems:

    “I know how I would accomplish any task I assign to you. I am willing to give it to you only if you will accomplish it to that degree or better.”
    “As pastor of this church and leader of this entire organization, I reserve the right to define improper emotional involvement.”
    “See it my way. I don’t want to have to defend my position to an employee.”
    “My direction does not always need an explanation. Don’t ask for one or assume that I owe you one.”
    “You owe it to me to learn my direction.”
    “I’m not interested in hearing your direction unless I specifically ask you for it.”
    “Great staff members want to do everything the way the pastor wants it done.”
    Narcissistic much?

    “Bragging about your heavy load and long hours is immature and in bad taste.”
    “Don’t talk about how busy you are. Don’t walk around sighing and moaning about how overwhelmed you are.”
    “I hate it when staff talk about money.”
    Notice how any honest assessment of the situation is re-defined here as either bragging or whining.

    And then I just plain got snarky:

    “Do not discuss the assignment with others.”
    Why? Does it involve concrete galoshes?

    “…I don’t want you to take my ministry to a position which I don’t believe. Don’t impose weird ideas on my people.”
    Note that it’s not because the ideas are weird, but that you’re peeing on *his* fire hydrant.

    “If you exhibit a lack of loyalty — If you don’t agree with the program here or with me, no one else should be aware of it.”
    “Break off contact or correspondence with church members as you leave. You will hurt the cause of Christ here if you don’t.”
    Ooh! Let me get my Fundy Bingo card!!!!

    “If you are known for loose living—Don’t be too friendly with the opposite sex. You are expected to be circumspect and proper in your behavior at all times.”
    Goodness, I have clearly been operating under the wrong definition of “loose living”.

    “Staff members across America are notorious for making messes and leaving them for the next person to clean up.”
    Staff members across America? I knew these preachers liked to hobby horse about America’s problems, but seriously…

    “Let me just ask this, staff member. When was the last time you used the old-fashioned altar?”
    Why, last Sunday, preacher. My priest wore her alb and read from the Book of Common Prayer and we celebrated the Eucharist with wine.

    “Specifically, staff members are not allowed to access lewd, lascivious, or indecent Internet pages.”
    “The standard for defining lewd, lascivious, or indecent Internet pages is determined by the Pastor.”
    Of course he is. And he has to look at it a very long time to properly categorize it.

    “I am looking for those who want to lead others.”
    “I am not looking for individual players.”
    So… which one is it you want? Team members or leaders?

    “Many of my college peers have failed. In fact, just recently, a man I know who used to be in the ministry married an acknowledged lesbian.”
    OMG!!11! Teh gayz!!11!

    “Most of the people who were on staff at a Baptist church I used to attend here in this area are no longer even in the ministry.”
    If most people are no longer in a ministry, DON’T YOU THINK THAT INDICATES SOMETHING VERY VERY WRONG WITH THAT MINISTRY??

    “A walk with God is revealed through submission.”
    Except for the pastor.

    “Can you take correction or do you bristle? Godly people who walk with God are seeking correction and instruction.”
    Except for the pastor.

    “Don’t expect from others what you do not expect from yourself.”
    Except for the pastor.

    “Ladies—wear nylons.”
    What was that about not expecting people to do things you wouldn’t do yourself?

    1. Dear Clara English:

      Excellent work!

      Such dispensers of religious services have no meaningful connection to God or Biblical faith. This simply isn’t the stuff of the kingdom, and to call it a ‘church’ is a misnomer.

      As I see it, this man is weak. I think that he knows he is a fraud. He can’t defend himself and knows it. He is also desperate to avoid exposing his malignant narcissism.

      If challenged in a situation he could not avoid, I suspect that this man could become extremely violent, very quickly.

      These many rules serve to protect Mr. Trieber and his grip on the larger congregation and not the congregation itself.

      This is about serving Jack Trieber, not Christ.

      Christian Socialist

    2. “Men of God must treat their wives as befits the spouse of an ambassador.”

      This one sentence is conclusive proof that its author doesn’t understand one blessed thing about Jesus, the Bible, or the life of faith.

      She doesn’t deserve good treatment because she is the spouse of almighty You. She deserves good treatment and respect because she is a beloved child of God, a sister in the human family, and a co-heir in Christ’s resurrection. So does every other person on earth, even those poor wretches condemned for a season to be members of your staff.

    3. “‘Most of the people who were on staff at a Baptist church I used to attend here in this area are no longer even in the ministry.’
      If most people are no longer in a ministry, DON’T YOU THINK THAT INDICATES SOMETHING VERY VERY WRONG WITH THAT MINISTRY??”

      Of course not. It means they are under heavy persecution. Satan is trying to undermine the pastor’s work. They gave into their fleshly lusts and are now reprobates.

      [/snark]

  45. Dear Pastor Jack:

    ‘By the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter will be established’ [2Co 13:1] ‘Do not receive an accusation against an elder except on the basis of two or three witnesses’ [1Ti 5:19].

    When or where do the accused get to present their case or to speak in their own defense?

    Christian Socialist

  46. There are so many individual things wrong with this manual that it would take more then 600 pages to discuss them. Suffice to say, this man is clearly a complete egomaniac who thinks he is God. Strange for it to be so clearly spelled out in writing, as most fundy preachers with this attitude at least try to play at being humble and Christ-like in writing even if they are the complete opposite in reality. Also had to roll my eyes at the hypocrisy of him telling his staff not to impose their personal convictions and preferences on others in the middle of this 622 page monstrosity of ridiculous preferences he is imposing on his staff.

    His “How to Leave the Staff” section really cracks me up, though. If I was ever leaving/fired (one of which would happen very quickly if I had ever worked there) and he tried that I would laugh in Treiber’s face. Someone needs to remind him that his power begins and ends at that church and attached fundy school. He has no control over people who don’t work for him, and he certainly can’t make anyone leave town, dictate who they correspond with or give their contact information to, or demand that they get new cell phones to keep people from contacting them. What’s sad is that there are apparently several people who continue to obey this egomaniac despite having been fired for the crime of disagreeing.

    1. Had a thought, what if Treiber feels the “call of god” (god obviously being himself) to put in his application for the pastor job now open at FBC Hammond? Who thinks he’s going to follow his own rules about leaving the staff if he actually does apply for and get the job? 😆 😆 😆

      1. Is he going to stop talking to NVBCers? Is he not going to tell them that he’s leaving or why? Is NVBC going to not throw a going away party for him? So he’s just going to disappear like the rest of the former staff members?

        I’m guessing not.

    2. I have to get a different cell phone and stop talking to everybody from my former workplace? Who does this pompous windbag think he is–the head of the CIA?

      I wonder if anybody has ever laughed in his face.

  47. Heresy Trial, Anyone?

    Mt 20:26-27; Mar 10:43-44; 3 John 1:9-10

    Christian Socialist

  48. If you are supposed to keep your other hand in your lap (on a napkin, no less) as you eat, how do you eat a giant piece of steak? Do you pick up the whole thing on your fork and chunk off big bites of it? I don’t know how you can cut meat and keep your hand on your lap. Is he going to install webcams over your table so that he may investigate your manners?

    1. perhaps we should all send Trieber of dining manners questions instead of Miss Manners.

      1. Hey, that’s a great idea for their newsletter. Or maybe an advice column like Ann Landers.

  49. “You should not be on my staff if you are a mean-spirited, critical, judgmental person.”

    Because there is only room for ONE of us in this here town, Pilgrim.

  50. I wonder if I could get back into fundydom long enough to get hired on staff, go to a Monday staff meeting, kick him in the teeth, look him in the eye, and say……. I QUIT MOTHER F*%#*R. Then walk out and talk to everyone while happily cleaning out my desk and leaving town!

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