Church Business

Staff Handbooks: North Valley Baptist Church Edition

634 Comments

Ever wonder what kind of rules people have to live by when they’re on the staff of a hardcore fundamentalist church? Ever stop to think exactly how much control the pastor has directly of their personal lives?

Presented here without further commentary is the Staff Manual for North Valley Baptist Church, kingdom of Jack “the pastor is your shepherd you shall not want” Treiber.

(If you’d prefer not to read it on scribd you can also directly download the PDF)

634 thoughts on “Staff Handbooks: North Valley Baptist Church Edition”

  3. “While you are on vacation, do not travel during church service times.” Figured that would be in there.

      1. You are so right!

        When I was at MBBC, a car full of girls skipped church and got into a head collision and the driver died.

        It was definitely implied in chapel that if they would have been in church, the accident wouldn’t have happened. Leave it to the FunDies to make sure they inflict a good dose of fear in chapel.

        1. Oh my goodness! That is horrible! The poor families of those poor girls – I sincerely hope they did not attend IFB churches and have to hear that mess about their daughters.

        2. I’m pretty sure that if you spend 100% of your time in church, you’ll never be in a traffic accident (as long as you also stay out of the church parking lot).

          Of course, the same thing is true about spending 100% of your time in an opium den or a strip joint.

        3. I was there when that happened. Clearly implied in chapel that it only happened because they skipped church. And certain staff members stated it directly to my face that they accident happened because they weren’t in church. Sad, sad.

        4. I posted in the wrong thread and it showed-up in the one below. When did this happen? Was it when Treiber was at Maranatha?

        5. IFB

          I was there from 92 – 94 but I don’t remember the exact year.

          I know that one girl died and another girl was in really bad shape and didn’t come back to school.

          When was Trieber at MBBC?

        6. I don’t believe that Trieber had anything to do with the MBBC incident; it was used as an example.

          As a raw statement, of course it is true; if the girls had been at the mall, the accident wouldn’t have happened. If they had been at home, it wouldn’t have happened, etc.

          Of course, there is nothing new under the sun – the same thing was said in Jesus’ day (and see how He answered it): Luke 13:4-5

        7. I didn’t put that right as I looked back I was wondering if it happened when he was a student which was in the early 70’s.

    2. I really, really, don’t get this.
      1. Why not?
      2. Why put rules in place that are unenforceable?

      1. 1. What Craig said, sin because that service time is GAWD’S time, a holy time for a holy people, set apart for the people of Gawd to come in here to hear good gawdly preachin, amen?
        2. Because when you’re in the system and believe that God will visit all hell upon you and yours when you break a rule, it doesn’t much matter what the rule is. You just know that God’s gonna get you, so you obey.

    3. Because apparently Christians follow Sabbath rules now.

      This does seem pretty bizarre, though. I kind of expected something to the effect of “don’t you dare miss a church service ever unless you’re a missionary or something”, but… this seriously is weird. What makes that particular time of day so sacred? What if you’re in a different time zone, do you still not travel from, say, 10 AM to noon (or however long the service is) local time, or do you convert to the time zone you’re in?

    4. Which just leaves the gaping loop hole that allows you to pull over to the side of the road for the 1-2 hours that the service usually lasts and read the latest best seller while you wait.

    5. The pastor’s wife at my old church would never travel during service times because she “just knew that God would crash the plane”.

    6. Okay, but which service times? Some churches have Saturday evening services, some have early Sunday morning services, some have Sunday afternoon services, etc., not to mention the midweek services, which is Wednesday for most churches but Thursday for some. If you follow the letter of the law with this, you will have little time to travel!

  6. Absolutely Unbelievable! I’m anxiously awaiting his how-to manual on personal grooming and diet and exercise! What a controlling weasel

  8. Wow. Nothing like a good dose of megalomania to start the day. It’s good to know Pastor Jack knows everything, and that no one under his control will ever have to think for themselves again. That will give them more time to blindly follow and serve Treiber.

  9. It doesn’t surprise me at at all. Being the “most holy” of the Pharisees is hard work. 😉

    I’m sure God will cut them a break for all the “sinners” they have to step on to get there.

  10. I glanced through it. Just a couple of my favorites:

    Copier is not to be used on Sunday.
    Bathe or shower daily.
    The 20 things to do on a Saturday list including the time you should go to bed.

    1. Let me just add that I am not against bathing or showering every day. It’s just the fact that it would be included in an employee handbook.

      1. I’ve never been against daily bathing before, but now that Treiber orders me to do it, I don’t want to. 🙁

    2. I liked the advice to clean the garage and mow the lawn. I would never think of that on my own.

      And remember, Saturday night TV and parties are evil. How do we survive without a mog to guide us?

    2. If that is how they published this thing, it requires a SFL post just on the typesetting. It is basically unreadable like this.

  12. I could only take so much….considering I just rewrote my banks personnel policy this was quite funny.

    When you hit 65 years old your insurance is cancelled – suck off the government teat.

    Buy your own disability insurance somewhere – This is a benefit?

    Never enter the room where deacons are counting money – why, they playing poker with the cash?

    Copier not to be used on Sundays? Why, will it get under conviction?

    Don’t be breathy on the phone. – I won’t even say it.

    Have and use breath mints.

    I could go on but I have to run a real business.

    1. I was shocked to read that he expects his employees to accept socialist government health coverage

      I wasn’t surprised that he doesn’t know the difference between Medicare & Medicaid.

    2. So much micromanaging. And some really draconian policy, too. Such as being docked a half day’s pay if you don’t call in sick before 6 a.m.

      1. Haha, and also that you have to turn your jury duty pay over to them because they had the graciousness to pay you for service to the government.

  14. Does anyone know if it is legal for them to require that monies paid by the State or Federal governments during jury duty be turned over to the employer??? That doesn’t sound legal to me…

    1. I think it is legal, since the employer is paying the employee a full day’s wages. (I am 80% confident in this answer, lol)

      1. It IS legal. Also, when the employee turns over that money, they don’t have to recognize that income as gross income on their tax returns.

    2. That’s why the wording says that they should sign over any payment. It’s not saying they have to, but there’s the whole guilt element that is implied. I’m sure that if someone has jury duty, they will be asked if they got any payment from the court then subsequently lectured guilted into handing it over since they were good enough to pay for the employees day off.

    3. I have worked for companies that required jury pay to be turned over to them for them to pay you for the day of work. I would rather do that than not be paid my normal salary and keep the jury pay. I have worked for people who did not pay the day if you were called to jury duty.

      It is a fairly common practice. As opposed to most of this foolishness.

      1. I once worked for an employer that paid me for the days I was on jury duty, but then wrote a disciplinary report on me for not getting my usual work done the week I was on the jury all day of every day.

        The money wasn’t much of an issue, because where I live the juror’s pay (for county courts) is something like $4.00 per day, which doesn’t even cover parking at the courthouse.

      2. Ok, I just wasn’t sure. The one time I got called up, I didn’t make it all the way to the trial.

    4. It is legal in my state for an employer to take your juror’s fee. It is not legal, however, for them to take your mileage money. It is also not legal here to not pay part time employees for jury duty time.

  15. It’s pretty incredible how much power the Pastor gives himself. Salaries, seniority for new employees, etc. etc. etc. Not good.

  16. I don’t think I want to read this.

    The sad thing is that some young people grow up earnestly believing that if they’re serious about loving God, they have to go into full-time ministry so they go to Fundy U then end up at a church like this where they put up with these kinds of draconian requirements because they think it’s the only way to show their commitment to Christ. Then as time goes on, they grow weary of the micromanagement and spiritual manipulation but feel trapped with no way out.

      1. You escape by running away. Now! Take a break from church. Use the time to get to know your family, and to read your Bible without all the noise that the MoG generates. Be still, and know that HE (not the MoG) is God. Then, start looking around for a church that does not elevate one man (and all his kin); that exalts the name of the Lord instead. Enter the church slowly, with your eyes wide open.

      2. How to escape? Just leave! While you’re “in” fundyland, it seems as though your church and the fundy churches like it are the only little islands of sanity in a dangerous, terrifying world. If you leave, you’ll be like the ship that will crash into the rocks without the direction of your pastor.

        As someone who was on staff but got out, I can say that it’s not the case.

        Once you’re out, you find that there is a big wide world out there. There’s bad things in the world, but it’s not nearly as bad as they make it out to be.

        There ARE other Christians out there who love God. God will not smite you because you leave First Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Church of Hoboken.

        No, unless you really want to, you won’t magically turn into a heroin-shooting serial-killer gang-banger who lives in the gutter for only a couple of minutes before being struck by lightning once you step off church property. Because I had been brainwashed that this is what would happen, I made it a point not to miss church the Sunday after I left Fundyland,(and ended up at the best Protestant church I’ve ever attended) but that was just me.

        The one big concern if you are on staff will be landing your next job. But consdering what fundy churches pay, it should be (relatively) easy to find a job that pays similar wages, even if it is in a different field. I could only get my church to confirm employment. The pastor(of course) refused to write a letter of recommendation (oh well!)

        If you’re serious about asking for advice, I’d be happy to let you know what helped for me. Who knows, maybe it could help you too.

        1. Thanks! Would love advice. The main problem is that my husband also works in this ministry, although we are in agreement that they have gone way too far. We keep telling ourselves that what we are “doing” is worth our sanity and personal freedom. It just isn’t flying with me any more.

      3. The “church” you attend does not dictate your relationship with God. If you feel that you “have” to attend this certain church in order to be “Right with God” then you can bet it you shouldn’t, and as long as you are attending there with that feeling you’re not (right with God). God is not in the guilt! God is in the Love, the Mercy, and the Freedom. God is not in the Rules, God is in the the life that he has given you in Christ.

    2. Notice, too, how he covers the bases so they can never question the whole regime. It is sinful and wrong to talk about being busy, lonely, overwhelmed or having financial struggles. Suffer in silence; it makes you a good employee and a good Christian. 🙄

  17. Good grief! Either the people that work here are idiots who “don’t know nothin'” or this is a classic case of a control freak! 25 pages, and I can’t stomach anything more!

    1. But then you miss excellent advice like that you should change your deodorant brand regularly.

      Does he stop at their houses to check? “Youth Pastor Joe, you had Dial deodorant three months ago and you are still using it. I’m going to have to note this in your employee file.”

  18. Wow…. here are some of my favorites:

    Full time employees must sign over checks for jury duty.
    Pastor handles all salaries
    To be absent due to life-threatening illness in family or death in family requires prior approval….

    Copier rules are crazy
    No personal phone calls

    Can we say someone who needs control?

    2. Prior approval? So your relatives are supposed to get Pastor’s permission before they get sick or die? 😯

  19. The section on staff dismissal is alliterated. Beginning with Lack of Loyalty. Not to God, but Jack and his programs.

  20. Great staff members portray excitement whenever the pastor is conducting a meeting:

    I can’t take anymore, and I was just scanning through. Sheesh………….

  21. (In the office) do not use the phone for personally reasons. To do so is thievery.

    (When picking up a guest at the airport) tell him how happy Bro. trieber is that he has come and the church is excited about his comming. (Sound like anyone else?)

    Punctuallity. Be on time. early. (Does that makes sense?)

    1. Does with my mother; she is always 20 minutes late to EVERYTHING. 😡 It gets old fast.

      1. He means that you are there to work, and if you are taking personal phone calls, you are not getting your work done, and effectively stealing from the employer.

    3. Be on time because Jesus was never late for an appointment.

      That is my favorite thing ever. Because there are so many notations in the four Gospels about Jesus calling a meeting with the apostles and arriving at 2:15 even though it did not start until 2:30. Because he was punctual. Or there’s that side not in John about when he was 30 minutes early for his dental check-up.

  23. My absolute favorite is #10 under termination: “Any problem w/ morals…Pastor will advise employee in such a situation regarding HOW AND WHEN TO LEAVE TOWN.” Sounds like a tough place…not only are you fired, you have to pack up and move as well. Draconian doesn’t even begin to describe this place. At least he was honest when he says I WANT SERVANTS…no sh*t.

    1. So he doesn’t just run the church and the bible college, he owns the freakin’ TOWN?? 😯

      1. Big Gary – I don’t think that you truly comprehend the magnitude of his control…TOWN is code for WEST COAST (and western parts of the Mountain Time Zone). Don’t cross the MOG or you will have to relocate to Iowa.

    2. When I left my fundie church and my staff position, I was advised by the pastor to leave town. They know and don’t want their members to see how happy we are and that we are truly serving God and not a mog.

      1. Yup, hear you there! Our pastor went so far as to tell people that we asked people from church never to contact us. (We had not). For a while I was afraid to even walk down the street. In the end, it just led to really akward run-ins while out shopping 😉

      2. I didn’t give our prior pastor opportunity. He is Treiber’s best buddy and he must have the same Manuel. I was verbally absused by his three minute call. But the guy he falsely accused me of having affair with is posing happily with him in picnic (he labored for free) where they honored their pastor of 30 years ministry with Hawaii and motorcycle gifts – guess our poor folks couldn’t raise $30,000 like Treiber people raised $40,000 for his 40 years dictatorship. Anywho I’m thankful for all of you posting about how imperfect some IFB pastors are despite they think they walk on water.

    3. When I was kicked out of GSBC for “not having the Golden spirit” (conveniently after I made my largest & 3rd tuition payment…) I was told I had until 6pm to have all my things packed & off the property. I told them, “I’m from out of state! Where will I go?? Sleep in my car?” They offered to drop me off at a local hotel- NOT pay for it, just drop me off. I told them I had work at 1pm and wouldn’t be off until 9:30-10:00 and I was told there were no exceptions. I was floored. I called my Mom and she was livid. She called the college & ripped them a new one for leaving a female student destitute on the streets & endangering me all for no good reason except not being “Golden” enough. They came back to me & said I could stay the night but had to be out by 8am the next day. I went to work, came back around 10pm, packed up and drove out with the security guard chasing after me since I was a female leaving “after hours”. The place is beyond jacked up. (Ha! No pun intended) Trieber requires absolute control & authority over the staff member’s lives as well as complete loyalty. Anyone who doesn’t fall in line gets sent removed from their homes & sent away in the night like he did with the Baines.

      1. I know who the Baines are and have heard they were suddenly not there anymore, and I always wondered what happened. I go to a mini-NVBC — our pastor was on staff there for a while and wants everything at our Fundy church to be just like them (and yes, the staff members have to keep their cars clean and Armor All-ed – ugh). There was a staff family that was fired and moved away (he didn’t say they were fired; he made it sound like the man had suddenly been called to pastor a church). Years later, the church they went to didn’t work out and their house here was foreclosed on. Such an un-Christian way to treat people. I’m sorry for how you were kicked to the curb. Good for your mom for calling and reaming them out.

        1. I wouldn’t make it there; having to wash AND vacuum my car weekly, and wax it quarterly is something I would have a hard time getting in the habit.

          Most people tell us that are cars are very clean, but we only wash them as needed: ditto for vacuuming them.

        2. To the church he announced they were, “leaving for ministry” and then told church & college members they were not allowed to go to their house, not allowed to “say goodbyes”, etc. I remember a group of college guys went over to help them pack up the house and some went to Mr. Baines office to help him pack & they received a ton of demerits. It happened very quickly. One day Mr. Baines office was in boxes and the next, they were gone. I was told by two staff member families the Baines’ were sent away for “disloyalty”. They were treated like criminals. It was unbelievable.

        3. If these stories are true (and I absolutely believe that they are), then being a staff member at NVBC is more dangerous than being a dissenter in Nazi Germany. At least there they would take you out back, put a bullet in your head, and then make up some story about how you were killed gloriously and valiantly defending the Motherland…and they may have even had a national day of mourning fo you. This is more like the old Soviet Union where you just disappeared one day and all traces of you were erased and it was as if you’d never existed.

      3. I didn’t give our prior pastor opportunity. He is Treiber’s best buddy and he must have the same Manuel. I was verbally absused by his three minute call. But the guy he falsely accused me of having affair with is posing happily with him in picnic (he labored for free) where they honored their pastor of 30 years ministry with Hawaii and motorcycle gifts – guess our poor folks couldn’t raise $30,000 like Treiber people raised $40,000 for his 40 years dictatorship. Anywho I’m thankful for all of you posting about how imperfect some IFB pastors are despite they think they walk on water.

  24. Sweet Jesus! This is not a staff manual, this is a fundamentalist manifesto!
    He does not want to Pastor, but dominate. My question is how do people get fooled into become a staff member. I would run for the hills before I got to the 10th page.
    I pastor a Church in Oklahoma and I am sitting here in my office in my shorts, with a little 5 oclock shadow. My staff is doing their job and I don’t need to dominate them to do it.
    So sad that people allow themselves to be enslaved (that is exactly what this is) to serve in a Church.

  25. Handbuch der Kult
    Manuel du culte
    Manual del culto
    Руководство культ
    Manualul de cult
    Manuale del culto
    カルトのマニュアル

    No matter what language you use it is still a Manual of the Cult.

    1. 제식의 사용법

      This is fun! Personally, I think the other “English translation” for cult manual is fundy staff handbook. I’m glad my school’s isn’t this long!

  26. Just a few things:
    1. There are more rules about the copier than most other things – My personal favorite was the instructions about how to open the copy paper to prevent the paper from warping

    2. Car must be cleaned inside and out. Amorall must be put on the tires. WOW

    1. Yes, the copier paper thing is really sad. As someone who has worked with copiers plenty over my career…if opening the package wrong is really jamming their machine – it’s time for a new copier.

      1. no kidding! I can’t think for the life of me, how does the way you open the package “warp” the paper?

        1. He doesn’t explain it, but if you leave stacks of copier paper out, unwrapped, the paper can absorb a lot of humidity from the air, which makes it shrink unevenly and wrinkle when it is exposed to the heat of the copier. This causes spoiled copies and/or a jammed machine. The solution is to wrap paper in plastic film or closed plastic bags (once it has been opened), unless you use that type of paper fast enough that it doesn’t have time to absorb moisture. I learned this from talking to professional copy repair people at the place I used to work. Another thing I learned from them is that when you take a ream of paper out of its wrapper, it has a curve to it, and if you load the stack of paper in the copier with the concave side up, you will get fewer paper jams.

          As I said below, though, why does any of that belong in the employee policy manual?

        2. I fully understand the “paper absorbs moisture” thing but have never seen it cause a problem in practice. How long are they leaving opened reams of paper sit before it gets used? And is it really in a non environmentally-controlled room?

          I don’t buy it – just one more way to impose control is all it is.

        3. @Mag: ditto Big Gary. The copier repair man told us the same thing. He told us to store copier paper in a rubbermaid bin. At that time we had a bad leak over my desk that the clinic refused to fix. (until the ceiling collapsed, showering a prenant employee with broken tile and nasty water).

        4. I’m not sure Treiber fully understands the aforementioned concepts himself, in that his instructions are kind of confusing.

        5. I’ve been told the same thing. But always when the copier was having a problem the repair tech couldn’t fix. I’ve always had the strong impression that it’s a fallback “blame it on something no one can prove” type of thing.

          But I could be wrong. All I know is my department is responsible for 32 copy machines where I work. We have no policies about how to open paper or where it gets stored. And we don’t have routine copy machine jams. 🙄

    3. Well, about 90% of copier jams are caused by people loading the paper wrong, storing the paper incorrectly, or otherwise using the copier improperly.
      But does that really belong in an employee manual? Wouldn’t it be better to have the employees read the user’s manual for the copier? You could even give them a quiz on it, if you’re that kind of person.

      1. Both schools I worked at had this sort of info posted in the copier room. Seems like that would suffice.

        1. Not to mention people aren’t fumbling through a 622 page employee manual to find the info!

  27. They do recognize the organization is a company. Tutors are not to tutor on “Company” time.

    The Business of Religion is Business, and it’s their business to be in your business.

  28. When “Prepresenting GSBC on the Road” (p. 97), rule number 20 is “Represent Brother Trieber.” I may be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure I missed the rule that said, “Represent Christ.” Nah, there’s no man-worship going on over there.

    1. its related to the proof text seen in the photo – located on the pulpit so you won’t forget it.

      “That in all things he (Jack) might have preeminence” Of course I am interpreting the pronoun reference based on what I know about Jack, but…

  29. Welcome to Purgatory. If you keep the rules here Hell will have pity on you when you die. 👿

    The Sign over the Staff Entrance reads:
    Abandon all hope, ye who enter here!”

  30. I’m about a quarter of the way thru it, and I think the sickest is the “How to Leave the Staff”.

    5. Break off contact or
    correspondence with church
    members as you leave. You
    will hurt the cause of Christ
    here if you don’t.

    11. Don’t take church members
    with you when you leave.

    12. Leave with a closed mouth
    and a sweet spirit. Don’t
    answer the phone calls;
    don’t discuss anything with
    the members.

    13. Pack up your office and
    move out after hours when
    students and members are
    not around.

    14 . Turn in your cell phone,
    disconnect your phone, and
    don’t give out your new
    address and phone number
    except to the pastor.

    1. I agree wholeheartedly! I couldn’t believe that section–is there no possible circumstance he can imagine in which a person might leave legitimately? If their mother is dying two states over and they decide to work for a different fundy church there instead, what do they consider so bad about that?!

      But of course they don’t want you spreading your pernicious doctrine about women in pants and traveling during church services and being more faithful to God than to Jack Trieber.

    3. There’s only one suitable response to all those instructions about leaving, and it ends “. . . and the horse you rode in on.”

    4. What a sickness. There are no word for how completely warped those “rules” are. What sick (and I mean mentally) people to have written something like this.

    5. I’m guessing #11 roughly translates to ‘And if anyone leaves the church because of the way we treat you as you leave or bad-mouth you once you are gone, the official policy of the pastor and church will be to blame you and use this against you both to the congregation and to future potential church employers who call us as a reference. This shall apply at the pastor’s discretion even if the departed members do not join the church you find and/or do not move to the same town, county, or state that you do.’

  31. I’m to the point of instructions on opening packages of paper for the copier…. WOW…. I need to take a break. Let me ask my pastor if I can.

  32. I wonder if there are instructions on how the toilet paper should be hung?

    Or how many toilet paper squares you should use. After all it is God’s money you are wasting if you wipe with too many squares.

    1. Dear Scorpio:

      LIMIT: 1 Square per person. If necessary, use both sides.

      Christian Socialist

    1. Them women, can’t trust them to do anything on your own, so you’d better keep an eye over them, right, brother?

  34. My favorite part of the whole manual is the “How to Leave” section where it states “Turn in your cell phone, disconnect your phone, and don’t give out your new address and phone number except to the pastor.”

    This makes me sick to my stomach because it reminds me of the way our pastor fired me two weeks before we had our first child. 🙄

    2. I was fired – and I was a volunteer. I guess that’s why NO one has called me or said they praying for us and one son is cancer survivor. No heart. No love. No compassion. Sick

  35. He even goes so far as to say what and how his staff needs to eat for their Sunday morning breakfast….”set the Sunday morning breakfast table on Saturday night. Keep the breakfast light, danish, juice”…..He says go grocery shopping so you can have a good meal after the morning service and a good snack with your family after the evening service….is he paying for their grocery bills and planning out the meals now? I thought that was women’s work.

    In. Sane.

      1. Thanks! 😉 You know you were a true fundy when you understand what that really means.

        1. Exactly! You know you were a true fundy when you can find something wrong with every possible shirt in the entire store with the possible exception of 2 or 3. I do believe you must be from my general end of the spectrum to know how proper women measure the height of their shirts.

        2. this was a rule at BJU . . our shirts had to be two fingers down from the collarbone at most. And we had to be able to pinch 2 inches of “ease” with the fabric surrounding our boobs. (How we were expected to pinch ease with one hand and measure with a ruler using the other hand is beyond me). And our skirts had to cover the bottom of the knee when SEATED. And . . . agh . . the memories!!

        3. Yes, it was the same at HAC. We also could not have any decorations, writing, or stripes in the “boob zone” so as not to draw attention to that area.

        4. … Because constantly checking to see if the rules are being followed doesn’t draw attention to “that area” at all … 😐

  36. “Never program another staff member’s telephone.” Why not? I just got an Iphone and since I am very fundy in my technological abilities (meaning I’m lucky if I can get my email to work) I had to have another teacher tutor me in it and program it for me. Why is helping a friend wrong?

    1. Because they might see the pictures of the teenager you are having sex with.

      Oh wait, wrong Jack.

      1. I don’t know if it so much about hiding as playing pranks on non-technical staff members; if they, for example, have a quick-dial number to call their wife, changing it to dial someone else’s wife may cause trouble… (even though part of me thinks it is funny).

        Or changing their ring tone.

        Or changing the startup page on their browser to SFL.

        I can see people not knowing how to fix some of these issues.

    1. So you’re supposed to … make lots of babies?

      “Pastor, I won’t be coming in this week. I’ll be, er, ‘producing souls.’ Everything else is secondary to that, you know.”

  38. “Please let me pastor my church!” (p. 178)

    That says it all right there. It’s not Jesus’s church anymore, it’s all his. Actually, it’s not a church at all, it’s simply a very controlling, manipulative cult.

    And how ironic is the following (pp. 189-190)?

    “How tragic it is that we have become full-time employees of religious organizations, speaking about religious matters, and yet not knowing the One Who is the creator of our work.”

    Yes, how tragic indeed that those running a religious organization do know not Him whom they claim to represent.

    (p. 216) “The Great Need of My Ministry
    I. Followship
    A. See it my way. I don’t want to have to defend my position to an employee.”

    Actually, that whole “Followship” section is one long vomit-inducing, self-centered, self-glorifying treatise. Blech!

  39. “Every staff member should endeavor to win at least one soul a week. This is especially true of the male staff members.”

    What the what? Men’s soulwinning is more valuable than women’s soulwinning?

    1. Certainly it is! Women aren’t supposed to instruct men, so women are only bringing in other women’s souls. We all know how much women matter to fundies except when they’re raising children or doing what their menfolk tell them to do.

    2. Yes; three hours minimum (and it better be more than that), and one soul won a week; souls brought forward for baptism. I’d like to find a second cousin or someone that I can just bring over and over each week.

  40. Holy crap. I have never read more “I will not allow…” This is “my ministry…” “Do not do this to my…” Cut your grass, wipe your tires with Armour All… blah, blah, blah…

    People in Russia and Cuba have more rights than the “workers/slaves” at this place…

    1. All Staff members will fill out reports in triplicate on each BM, report to include:
      Color
      Consistency
      Bouquet
      Ratio of Sinkers/Floaters

      Please keep the white copy for your records, file the yellow one with the HR manager, and leave the brown one in Pastor’s box.

      1. Let’s see the hands of all those who’d love to leave a brown one in this pastor’s box. 😎

        1. following a BM outside normal office hours you should leave the brown one on pastors front porch in a paper bag that is on fire

        2. I would post a picture of both of my hands, but you can’t post pics here. But, otherwise, count me in.

  42. Dear Pastor Trieber:

    ‘If you take your wife to a meeting, be sure she is very personable to the wives of the pastor and associate pastor as well as to the ladies of the church.’

    Why? Are you polygamists?

    Has anyone else noticed how much of this is about showing deference to Mr. Trieber? I started collecting them, but the results quickly became unmanageable.

    This is a study in things fake. You get the sense that Mr. Trieber wants to ‘grow’ a religious corporation to endow him with influence, status and income.

    Christian Socialist

    1. I thoroughly agree. I was going along and typing up a few notes for my comment that I made, but I ended up cutting out all the stuff about Jack Trieber’s little cult of personality (except for the bit on “loyalty”) because there’s just so sickeningly much in there! “Always talk up the pastor. Don’t disagree with me. Don’t say anything bad about me or the church or the college. I’m in charge.” Just awful.

    2. “This is a study in things fake” says it all.

      I’ve told my wife several times – in fundyism I learned how to ACT like a Christian. I never learned how to actually BE one.

      1. I told a Catholic friend once that the difference I saw in my very godly and devout Catholic friends versus my fundagelical friends was that “Christian” was a label the fundagelicals wore, whereas it was simply who the Catholics are. The person I talked to didn’t get it at all.

  43. Some thoughts as I read:

    “The copier is not to be used on Sundays.” This would be the death of my mother, a Sunday School teacher, who usually makes any copies she needs just before class so she can print off only the number for the kids that are there and not waste paper and ink.

    “This is a waste of God’s money.” JESUS JUKE!

    Paper warping from moisture in the air? I have never seen this happen in my life. Do they keep the printers and copiers in a sauna?

    “Do not make or accept personal calls while working. To do so is thievery.” Thievery! Of God’s money! (I would like to point out at this point that I am posting this from work while waiting for an install to go through.)

    “Your automobile must be cleaned inside and out the same day you pick up our guest.” What if their flight comes in very early in the morning? Could I clean it the night before, perhaps? Or will it get too dirty in the twelve hours or so between the evening and the morning?

    “Have and use breath mints.” …I am actually okay with this one.

    “sign Bibles” This is still probably the weirdest thing to me about fundamentalists. Reminds me so much of Seymour from Sinfest, who’s always geeking out over a first edition gold leaf Genesis signed by Moses!!!1! and ignoring Jesus walking by behind him.

    “Never tell anything negative about our college.” Just pretend everything is okay instead.

    “If you exhibit a lack of loyalty—If you don’t agree with the program here or with me, no one else should be aware of it.” This… is so, so wrong. If a person becomes convinced that there is something wrong with their pastor or beliefs or church, I think they SHOULD talk about it. They should share it with others and with the pastor and say, hey, I feel like something is wrong here. Loyalty to man has no place in God’s house. We answer to God, not men.

    And I’m not even a third of the way through it. Good gravy.

    1. Oh dear… there’s a section entitled “The Great Need of My Ministry”. Because what we all need in our lives is a little more Pastor Jack. (I already know a few people here would say we need a little more of a different kind of Jack!) So we should all listen to him because he’s older than us and therefore has achieved omniscience (never mind that Timothy was a young man when he taught doctrine) and do everything as he would say, not allowing “your ministry to reflect a direction different from mine”. His word outweighs God’s, apparently.

      “I should be able to visit your ministry and see a reflection of myself.” Dear goodness! I hope not!

      “You owe it to me to learn my direction.” Classic manipulation. You owe me. I saved you. I led you. I wept and suffered and worked over you. Don’t do anything outside of what I say because you OWE me.

      “I’m not interested in hearing your direction unless I specifically ask you for it.” And fat chance of THAT ever happening.

      There’s this whole section on servants, and it’s all basically about how staff members should serve him. Oh, it doesn’t say that explicitly, but it’s heavily implied. “Servants live to help another fulfill his or her vision.” Not God’s, but Trieber’s, I suspect…

    1. oh, so you didn’t get the memo? Yeah, see, we’re putting new cover sheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now.

      I’ll make sure you get another copy of the memo.

  45. I trust I am not the only one who noticed how many of these rules were about how you look on the outside. The rules about spring cleaning and Armorall are foolish, but the rules about personal behavior are despicable. So your brothers and sisters in Christ have to look cheerful and extroverted all the time, huh? Or just when the antichrist is around? If there is no room for hurt or sorrow, there is no room for love. Even the gentiles love those who are just like themselves. I pray every day that evil men and institutions like this will be destroyed.

    2. You know, with all those “Thou shalt” and “Thou shalt nots” he isn’t giving his staff any room to grow. He wants perfection immediately or don’t let the door hit you on the way out, but he’s not going to be able to find that kind of perfection. Given time, people might be able to grow into what he wants, but not thinking people from off the street walking in and flipping the switch. Where is the mentorship and the love for his staff? All I’m seeing is what he can take from them before he throws them out like trash. Where is the investing in the staff member and encouraging them and teaching them how to best serve and do what the pastor wants. People don’t get to this level overnight.

      I guess I always knew this attitude was prevelent in the IFB, but it is quite another thing to have it pushed in your face in writing. So sad.

  46. Under the heading “Don’t Kill Me” he states
    “Please remember that you did not create your position; I did.” Oh…I thought it was God’s church.

  47. Ok, so I’ve just wasted an hour reading this thing. A few more points that stood out to me. All I can say is Wow.

    You should not be unenthusiastic about me (Because a 1,000 page rule book to serve the Lord in MY church should make you LOVE me)

    Leave with loyalty (um….how do you leave if you’re still loyal?)

    I am driven around in vehicles that contain popcorn, used baby diapers (because most people have those two things in their cars at all times)

    All too often I watch a pastor work harder
    to care for me than he does to care for his own wife (Because you have a 1,000 page manual on how to care for you!)

    Staff not getting along• Over software (how dare you tell me how to use Quickbooks! I hate you!)

    Be personable. Weird people don’t make it (because telling being fundy isn’t weird at all….)

    The ministry means legal affairs. You will face legal battles more than once in your ministry on a city, state and possibly even federal level.You will probably even face lawsuits against your ministry.The ministry means having sealed lips.

    (yes, yes it does. but make sure you don’t have on hot pink lipstick on those lips….I might be tempted by you)

    1. sorry, it was supposed to just be “Being Fundy is not weird at all”….

      I must be out of Go….I mean Treiber’s will

  48. Platform Protocol Letter E…Staff sitting on platform are not to appear disinterested ect…wonder what Jackie boys son is thinking as he listens to the mog’s rant…my guess is “what a load of crap!”

  49. “Farewell parties are out of line. This protects the sheep.”

    Nothing like letting you know that after bleeding you dry for X number of years, the attitude is “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” Nice to know how much he values the people who build his ministry for him.

    Also, it’s pretty bad when the pastor is calling his followers sheep out in the open like that. Wow. Of course, I shouldn’t be surprised considering this is the guy that preached “My Pastor is My Shepherd, I Shall Not Want.”

    1. You do know that the prohibition on Fairwell Parties does not apply to when the MOG decides to pack it in. Expect weeks of festivities surrounding that announcement. If there was any justice in this Fundy Fiefdom, whomever takes over should hold him to his own exit policy. But being as his successor will undoubtedly be his son (Divine Right of MOGs), I don’t see that happening.

  50. It sounds like Treiber is conflating loyalty with complete agreement. Wow. Controlling and confused. Inspiring combo. 😕

    I am loyal to my current pastor because he allows room for disagreement. We have discoursed about several areas where we don’t see eye-to-eye, and he has the ability to appreciate and understand my point of view while still holding his own. If I had detected even a hint of “my way is God’s way and your way is wrong,” it would’ve been hasta la vista, baby.

    It probably helps that he grew up Fundy, too, and sees the problems with it. 🙂

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