193 thoughts on “Creepy Conference Flyers”

  5. I know this church and know people who used to attend there. It was one of those churches that was born during the 70s growth spurt when bus ministries were all the rage. Last I heard the attendance was way down there but that was several years ago.

        1. My wife just pointed out that the before the Fall attire does fall under the pronouncement “and it was very good”.

    2. I believe according to the Bible is going to require some kind of headdress very much like a burqa.

    3. Make that “dress modestly according to fundy rules.” And we all know what they are don’t we? Of course to the fundy, their rules and God’s rules are not the same. The more I learn this the more I’m glad to be out of Fundyville! :mrgreen:

      1. I find their statement very arrogant: it basically means “dress according to fundy expectations and our expectations are OF COURSE are EXACTLY what the Bible says.” In other words, if your clothing doesn’t fit their rules, you’re violating Scriptural standards. There is no place for Christian liberty here.

        I would respect them much more if they said, “Please wear knee-length skirts and blouses with high collars and sleeves.”

        1. Some of them do say stuff like that. But I think “modesty” works better for them because it is a code word that makes the ladies feel like insiders with special knowledge: “Oooh, I know just what they mean by modesty. So sad for all the whores who will show up in pants!” (Our youth pastor’s wife once made almost that exact comment to me.) Just another mark of a cult.

        2. We went on a trip once that had a dress code. One of the women on the trip was a new believer. She didn’t own any ‘modest’ cloths. She also didn’t have a lot of money to go out and buy new ones. She was ‘talked to’ by the people who organized the trip. I wanted to scream in their stupid faces for creating barriers to God John chapter 2 style, but instead I explained the situation and politely said their rules were stupid. It smoothed things over, but I wonder if I should have been a little more confrontational in hindsight.

  7. I don’t think I’ve seen the word “delightful” on any of the other Bible conference posters seen on this site.

  9. The thing about these Ladies Meetings is that people will have smiles plastered on their faces and laugh SO MUCH at every little joke the speakers make, funny or not. Always felt that was kinda scary and I still don’t know if some people really love the meetings that much or what?

    1. …because that is how they are preached at to behave — always exalt the man of God; laugh at his jokes like you’ve never heard them before, and so forth.

      1. So true…it always left me feeling hollow because I never bought into it like that. Kinda envied them…

        1. That reminds me of a science fiction novel, where the citizens are all pod people and the heroine feels desperately alone because she’s not. It’s terrible to feel left out, even if you don’t really want to belong.

        2. It reminds me of Ionesco’s play “Rhinoceros,” where everybody except the protagonist voluntarily turns into a rhinoceros.

          You should see it if you haven’t.

    1. “Learn to laugh at yourself” because certainly none of the men at your church are going to take you seriously, so you might as well learn not to take yourself seriously either.

      1. Nailed it! Never will you see THAT in a man’s seminar, only us silly wimin need to realize how trivial we are… 👿 🙄

  12. I love the implication that those women out there need to learn to laugh at themselves. I’m a little scared at what the circumstances were that led them to think they really need to teach those women to laugh at themselves more.

    1. “Learn to laff at what a silly goose you are compared to yer all-knowin’ Mannagawd …”

      “Learn to savor the slapstick zaniness when your hubby throws stuff at his helpmeat …”

      “Come to appreciate the risibility of thinking you might ever be allowed to preach …”

    2. Hard to say for sure; maybe because Mrs Hyles had image problems that all women’s conferences are geared to helping women think better of themselves.

  13. Somebody from their church is pranking them and gave them the joker treatment. Those pictures are all doctored. Zoom in close.

    2. I thought they must have gotten crossways with their pimps. Cutting the lips is the classic pimp’s revenge.

        1. I haven’t been in the business myself, if that’s what you’re thinking. But I’ve known a fair number of social workers and people who run women’s shelters and the like, and I hear some jaw-dropping stories from them.

          Anyhow, cutting a woman’s face (usually lip or nose) as a retribution for disobeying the pimp is of long standing and fairly well-known in popular culture. For example, it’s referred to in the Quentin Tarantino movie “Kill Bill,” and described in Jim Harrison’s novel “Revenge” and shown (rather graphically) in the Roland Joffe movie “City of Joy.” Those are three examples that come to mind without my having to do any research or anything.

  14. “Help you pastor’s wife earn a gift card”

    Why should I do that? Pastor’s and their wives already get a free house, car, utilities, health care, retirement and so on.

    I could use one myself cause my couch is starting to sag. I wouldn’t subject myself to that conference just to win a gift card though. It’s just not worth it.

    3. To follow up on that comment: Most fundy churches are not that large. Here is some math. Let’s say you have ten families or less who tithe 10% of their income. Now subtract from that the church building, ministry, and missionary costs. You probably will be left with about 50% of the average family income for the church at best. If the church does have a parsonage, that money will be even less. Of the many nasty things that can be said about fundy pastors, MOST are not in it for the money.

      1. I agree. This would only apply to pastors of the larger, more well-known IFB churches, but not the average ones.

        BJU recommended that we NOT live in a parsonage but buy a home and build up equity (which of course was completely destroyed in the real estate downturn of the last decade, but, oh, well!) because a free house means nothing if the church votes you out or the husband dies and the family has nowhere to live and nothing for a down payment.

        Our church pays us a salary which includes a housing allowance, but definitely not car, utilities, health care, retirement and so on. We have no retirement, and we pay for the basic catastrophic health insurance out of our salary which means we haven’t been to the doctor in years.

        That said, I agree that it doesn’t sound like a fun contest, earning something for someone else.

        1. The ironic thing here is that the biggest churches, which are usually the best-funded ones, would presumably be the ones in the running for the prize for bringing the most women. So the prize is specially designed to go to the pastor’s wife who needs it least.

        2. … Although, as someone already pointed out, if you have a Sunday school with an average age of 101 or more, you might not have much competition in that category.

      2. Have you ever met Ron Williams of Hephzibah House? I have, because I lived in that Hellhole. I also happen to know that he brings in over 300,000 bucks a year maintaining a so-called ministry where he beats and starves the girls who are imprisoned there while he lives like a fat-assed king.

        1. I’d never heard of Ron Williams until I started reading references to him on some survivor groups on facebook. It’s horrible that churches continue to support him. And $300,000 is a LOT of moolah.

        2. PW

          Yeah. He also gets a lot of office supplies, food and even a car because corporations donate to charities for write offs. I saw a room filled with free stuff. There were clothes that still had the tags on them.

    1. How typical! They sing songs for children at these things and try to force the ladies young and old to go through the motions the way the kids do. It’s highly insulting. 👿

      1. That infantilization was one of the reasons I’m kinda glad I was always overlooked in favor or the pastor’s daughters whenever they wanted someone to play. I didn’t take piano lessons from the age of 3 so I could play “Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam.” 🙄

      2. Some people think it keeps you young in your attitude.

        Or maybe it is the way of doing what Jesus said and “become like a little child”.

        1. Of course, “like a little child” doesn’t mean childish. I think, in context, it means totally trusting in Him. Childlike, IOW, not childish. 🙂

        2. Of course it means to come to Him with a child-like faith. To have an implicit trust in Him similar to what a child has in its parents.

          But many Fundies would rather twist it to mean treat their congregants like children. These are people who would say theyteach the priesthood of the believer, but in action actually teach the Monarchy of the Mog.

    2. of course Don and I would have to dress as women in order to attend, not thinking that will go over well

      1. The original meaning of “lady,” back in the middle ages, was “one who kneads bread.” So everybody could attend as long as we knead some bread before or during the conference.
        These people are so enamored of archaic English that they surely wouldn’t dispute our interpretation of the term “Ladies’ Conference.” :mrgreen:

        1. And now I’m picturing you two wearing pretty floral dresses, sitting in the front row, listening intently, with bowls of bread dough on your laps.

      3. Well, I have the legs for it… and my moobs …oh, wow, 😯 that just made me throw up a little…. let’s forget my moobs, I’ll just wear a short denim skirt. *bleck… shudder* (where’s the brain bleach?)

  17. I am kind of terrified by that flyer. I’m not entirely certain what about it disturbs me so much. Perhaps it is the horrifying, unreal smiles? The terrible colors and fonts used? The fact that it’s about learning to laugh at yourself, which sounds like a very odd topic for a Bible conference? The subtle but inevitable infantilization of women?

    Or maybe it’s simply the fact that money is being charged for this sort of thing. Is that common? The church/group/whatever you want to call us I meet with, several hold annual conferences, but the idea of charging people to come to them sounds absurd.

    1. It may partly be for the lunch served on Saturday, but usually that’s only a sandwich and a piece of fruit. Your group will usually stop somewhere to eat on the way home because by the time it’s over with, everyone is starving. 😡

  18. Oh how I hate those meetings. How disgusting that a bunch of ladies will pay $20.00 each (get it in early so you don’t have to pay that extra 5 bucks at the door) and take a long drive to this place, having to chip in for gas, and be subjected to the utter crapola they will hear. And they do make a big deal out of helping your pastor’s wife win a prize. Notice how it’s something the pastor will also benefit from. No thanks. I guess I’m just selfish but when I try to win a prize it’s for me. Reminds me of one shower I attended where the prizes for the games were all things that went to the honoree. You could see the disappointment on the faces of the winners when she learned that the prize wasn’t for her. The honoree looked embarrassed as well. That was the only shower they did that way.

    1. I’ve been to a several baby showers that were like that. I got to the point where I wouldn’t even unwrap the prize and just handed it over to the mother to be.

      1. Well to me it defeated the purpose of competing. I enjoy competing for prizes and playing the dopey games they have at these things. What’s the purpose if the prize is for someone else? I know that’s not a fundy way to think, you’re supposed to be always thinking of others. I’m still working on that… 😳

    3. My friend and I had our first baby at the same time. My pastor’s wife had our baby shower on the same day so she could kill two birds with one stone. I think we both felt a little hurt that our special day had to be shared.

    4. It probably is more heaven-like to give our prizes away – I seem to recall reading about casting our awards at Jesus’ feet.

      HOWEVER, the above is a HUGE difference from FORCING people to do that here. I think it is appalling — but they are probably hoping that someone will complain so that they can jump all over them for their un-spiritual attitude.

  19. If I had been the ‘honoree’ at such a shower I would have given it back to the winner!

    1. That wouldn’t have done any good. It was a baby shower and the gifts were things like diaper pins, baby lotion, baby oil, stuff like that.

      1. Agreeded. The first time I was at a shower that did this the prizes were bottles and such. I wasn’t married, and no kids. Most of the other guest had grown or older kids. It was akward to say the least.

      1. HA! Dang Don, I just out georged you. it is, “What this c-o-n-f-e-r-e-n-c-e needs is an enema!”

        bwahahahahaha! 😈

    2. Yes, an enema!!!!

      Since they already have diarrhea of the mouth, now they can having their poo coming out both ends and we could hope for total dehydration. 😆

  22. It looks like someone just discovered that PowerPoint makes more than slide-shows. Too bad they haven’t discovered moderation in ALL things. (I had to use KJV wording to make the point. I know reasonableness or gentleness are what we believe Paul meant)

    I have to admit that I have used a lot of comic sans in the past. But then, it was for handouts to junior age kids, not adults. Maybe I should print my resumé in comic sans………..

      1. Heh, pretty good.
        Next time someone criticizes my fonts, I’ll just assume they’re jealous of my “sans serif badassery.”

  23. Our pastor split the church because he banned these kinds of ladies meetings. He said that it was just as much a sin to have a lady speaker for one of these meetings as it was to have that same woman address the entire church. So he insisted that he be the only speaker at every meeting and the ladies quit having them. He then decided to ban them entirely because “obviously the reason why the ladies didn’t want him there was because they were gossipping about him at the meetings.”

    1. So he thought it was a sin to have women speaking to ladies? Talk about twisting scripture to suit one’s own purposes. It’s bad enough to have men preach to women and women not able to have equal time, but now women aren’t allowed to speak to other women. Incredible. What an ego he must’ve had to think all they wanted to do was talk about him. Sure, ladies come from miles away from other churches all to talk about him! He must really have a great image of himself. 👿

      1. Macushla, you and I posted the same thought at the exact same time. I need to work on originality …

    2. He had to draw the line somewhere. After all, church IS supposed to be all about HIM.
      Isn’t it?
      😐
      Isn’t it?

    3. He is probably right that they gossip about him. Who wouldn’t gripe and complain about a “leader” like that? Not having these meetings isn’t going to stop that. Nor is it necessarily going to stop the ladies from going to other churches’ meetings.

      1. They did gossip about him. And then they left the church. Along with their husbands who were big tithers. Ooops.

    1. I noticed that sentence, too.
      In what sense is a lunch “free” if you pay for it?
      Maybe it’s free-range chicken?

      1. I remember at one time listening to some radio preacher who said if you sent him an offering of so many dollars he’d send you this booklet as a free gift. How do they figure it’s free if you have to send an offering? How do they separate the two in their minds? I wonder if they understand the concept of salvation being free or do they believe in works salvation like they believe in paying for a free gift? 😕

        1. I used to hate it when Focus on the Family would do the same thing (don’t know if they do it anymore). Everything they were SELLING was “suggested donation” this and “suggested donation” that. Even as a kid I thought that sounded fishy. (Of course then my parents sank deep into fundiedom and FotF was banned in our house for all the usual reasons.)

        2. I completely agree with you. I think that the reason they do donations, though, is so that the giver can right it off on their taxes.

        3. It has to do with being non-profit and the taxes. Although some (Focus on the Family was one) would send you the thing for asking, even if you didn’t pay anything. I guess that way they could call the payment a gift. 😎

        4. That tax hustle won’t fly with the IRS. If you get a “gift” in return for a donation, the fair market value of the gift is subtracted from the deduction you can take for the donation.

          Admittedly, the fair market value of a lot of that stuff is negligible, but still, that’s the rule.

          If you buy, say, a $100 ticket to a benefit banquet, only the amount beyond the fair market value of the meal is deductible.

          I know this because I used to work for a nonprofit that held a lot of benefit events, and people always asked how much of their contribution was deductible, so we looked up the market value of whatever it was, and told them anything above that was deductible.

    2. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. It’s not just the design of the flyer that’s horrible, it’s the wording too. “Lunch on Saturday is included” would be a much better way of saying what they’re trying to say.

  25. If you click on the link to the actual flyer, you can see the “fine print” for the PREEEEEEECHER’S wife contest. It says: “Winners will be announced Sunday afternoon. The pastor’s wife must be present to win.” This would seem normal but for the fact that the conference ends on SATURDAY. Thus, PREEEEEEEECHER’S wife has to stick around for another 24 hours, go to that church’s morning service, and then get the prize.

    Why not announce the conference winner at the conference? Oh, that’s right, we have to find a way to keep them around until Sunday so we can inflate our numbers for a morning service.

    1. I can’t read…It does say the winner is announced Saturday, which does make sense. My cynicism has reached a point where I can’t even read correctly…

      1. I knew that couldn’t be right, since no MOG is going to allow his wife to be in another church on a Sunday when she has to be at his church being his helpmeet, and the pastor’s wife has more duties than anyone else. She teaches a class, sings in the choir and works in the nursery so how can she be waiting around at some other church to see if she won a prize? Plus she probably provided the transportation for the ladies of her church to attend so she has to be available for driving them home.

  26. Everyone go to their website and click on the News tab and read “The Widow’s Mite.” Oh. My. Word.

    1. Whoever wrote that heading obviously has no idea what the Bible story of the widow’s mite is about.

      1. Oh I think they know EXACTLY what the widows mite is about. Widows on a fixed income are expected to tithe, give to faith promise, etc. It makes me sick. The Bible says church funds are supposed to flow to them, not the other way round. It would make me so mad when my father and other deacons would suck up to the widows because the church wanted their tithe checks!

    2. Anyhow, none of the widows I know would have sat still for any of that nonsense.

      1. This. How many of them were actually insulted by the whole thing and plastered a smile on their face to be polite?

    3. Well if that isn’t the most condescending… Here it is, I copy/pasted it to save the rest of you the trouble of going over to that site.

      ~~~

      Every year we have a special Thanksgiving service and dedicate it to some special people in our church. One year it was for the special needs children and adults. Another year was for the faithful servants who have been faithful to our pastor and church for over 25 years. This year we dedicated the service to our 22 widows, who in some churches might be forgotten. Each widow received a special bag of Owens Publications items just for them. Then each received many bags of groceries. Each one individually had a picture taken with Bro. and Mrs. Owens, and that was really special. They also received flowers and were served by our deacons with front row seats. Each widow received a beautiful fall decoration for in their yard. Pastor Owens preached a sermon about the church’s responsibility of caring for our widows. An attractive bulletin was prepared listing all the widows’ names so the church could use it as a prayer list. In addition to all of that, Bro. and Mrs. Owens will be taking them all out to dinner in coming weeks. So many times these precious people need to know they are loved.

      1. “Each widow received a special bag of Owens Publications items just for them. Then each received many bags of groceries. Each one individually had a picture taken with Bro. and Mrs. Owens, and that was really special.”

        Groceries – cool, but perhaps better done privately. A bag of crap written by the pastor and a pic with him and his wife? Seriously? Yeah, it’s special, all right. 😡

        1. The only thing in this that was called “really special” was getting a picture with the pastor??? Are they that high-faluting and “holy” that people’s hearts would be all a-flutter at the opportunity to get a picture with them.

          Can you imagine Jesus doing this: “Line up over here and YOU TOO can get a picture with me!!!” Nope, my Jesus was on his knees with a bowl and towel washing feet.

          The only serving mentioned here is deacons seating them in a front pew. That ain’t service. Maybe those deacons should spend an hour in the widow’s home, looking at their picture albums and listening to them talk about their grandkids or cleaning out their gutters or changing their light bulbs.

      3. Somebody hasn’t been applying James 2 in their church.

        My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? (James 2:1-4 ESV)

        Fine. You want to do something nice for the widows or whatever group, but why were they given front row seats by the deacons? Shouldn’t they get the front row anytime they want it? Nope, guess not because in this church it appears that the deacons control who sits where.

        Granted the much larger issue is that they actually have to have special service for the widows. This should be going on year round without all the free book crap and stuff.

    4. Their site said “…each one (widow) individually had a picture taken with Bro. and Mrs. Owens, that was really special.” PUKE! “…and were served by our deacons with front row seats.” Maybe they were seated there because no one EVER sits on the front row?
      Under “Our Orchestra” is says “God blesses those who play musical instruments for our church.” Wow, I guess God will never bless me because I don’t play an instrument in their church or an instrument at all.

      1. It reminds me of the scene in Under Wraps where the kid is staring at the mummy and his mom says “Don’t stare. Remember I told you some people are special.” And the kid says “Well this guy is REALLY SPECIAL!”

      2. Man. My group will never get any blessing at all, apparently, as we use no musical instruments whatsoever…

        Who knew a piano was a prerequisite to blessing?!

      3. I am no fan of Jeff Owens and his ilk, but this is reaching and twisting what he said.

        The comments above are only fair if the web site said “God ONLY blesses those who play…”

  27. No child care will be provided. Be prepared to deal with your own little monsters…er a I mean angels. 😈

    1. Oh no, this is a chance to guilt trip the men into caring for their own children. “Men, you need to let your wife go…” (she’s an adult and ought to have the right to decide for herself without the permission of her lord and master…) and take care of the children yourself during that time… believe me it will be worth it! She’ll come home a new woman, just loving her family and being more submissive to YOU as a result!”

      During our first couple years in the Fundy church in Michigan I went to one of these gakky things at First Baptist of Hammond of course, it was a 5 hour drive and cost about 50 bucks including gas money, and when I got back I was exhausted and not in the best mood. Guilt tripping preaching has that effect on me. He thought it was a waste of 50 bucks since I hadn’t come back all submissive lol!

  28. Anyone read their Soul-Winning page under “Ministries”? They have 4 different groups that go out: Adults, Teens, Bus Ministries, and LADIES ONLY!!!! I suppose that’s because women are not supposed to work and since the only thing they do is cook, clean, and make babies they need to have their own special time to share the goodness of their MoG with the world.

    2. In my church growing up “ladies visitation” was actually a time on Tuesday mornings (so hoochies who were not keepers at home couldn’t go) when the batty old ladies who attended our church would visit even battier old ladies who were physically unable to attend church. They never did any actual soulwinning but they were sweet and kind and actually won an award from the local nursing home for their volunteerism. My mother never participated being highly suspicious of such worldy and liberal activities.

  29. It’s things like this that make me wish that a license and some sort of state certification was required before someone would be allowed to use Photoshop.

  31. I never would have guessed that the Joker was a fundy. I mean just for starters look at how his girlfriend dresses. Harley usually wears pants and everything she wears is really tight.

      1. Better to be Joker with a ho’ for a girlfriend than to be Batman with Robin because then people might think you are gay and that wouldn’t do.

  32. Wait a minute! I thought the title of “Creepy” was in reference to this just being another run-of-the-mill-fundy-flyer-that-we-have-seen-hundreds-of-times-before.
    Then upon seeing Darrell’s comment about clicking on the original flyer to see creepy photoshop, I thought Darrell Photoshopped the creepy smiles.
    I am now realizing that THEY did it themselves! Oh my.
    I only have one word to describe that…..creepy. :mrgreen:

    1. I didn’t notice the smiles at first either. Partly because I missed Darrell’s comment below the picture. Now I wish I was still in ignorance. WOW! Now the Joker comments make more sense. “Jack’s Back!” was my first thought.

  33. “Learn to Laugh at Yourself” – do you think they’ll recommend reading Stuff Fundies Like? 😀

  34. I wonder what kind of advice they’ll be giving?

    In my opinion, the surest way for us to learn to laugh at ourselves would be if IFB churches would stop laying on the guilt and manipulation all the time. How can I laugh at myself when I’m constantly worried about being a bad testimony or causing a brother to stumble? How can I laugh at myself when any mistake could send a watching unbeliever to hell? How can I laugh at myself when I must constantly strive to reach higher and higher levels of dedication? The constant stress on works-righteousness (like modest clothing) causes self-righteousness and pride, and one needs HUMILITY in order to be able to laugh at oneself.

    If they would teach grace and liberty instead of outward conformity, if they would emphasize the Gospel and our utter forgiveness in Christ, then joy and peace would flood our souls and we wouldn’t have to be exhorted to laugh at ourselves.

    1. Yeah, and if pigs could fly and they pooped gold, I wouldn’t have to go to work! Good luck with that.

    2. Well said PW but that ain’t ever gonna happen. They’d have to totally revamp fundy-ism, and the result of that would be we no longer had anything to criticize and this site would have to go out of existence. I’d sure miss it! LOLOL! :mrgreen:

    3. So, PW, you have turned comedienne? You used to post such good, serious, solid, godly stuff. What happened? Did you smoke some weed?

    4. So maybe the more correct theme for this conference is “Learn to fake laughter so the heathens think you’re happy.”

  35. Next to the key slot on my tool chest is a picture of a statement that reads:

    “Blessed are those who can laugh at themselves, for they will never cease to be amused.”

    It’s too bad that fundies-and many other people-haven’t figure that out. Maybe that’s why I am seldom bored. Stipidity really is funny.

  36. Candy Harvest

    On Sunday night, October 30th, all our children 6th grade and under traveled to 25 locations on the church property to get candy from the adult Sunday school classes. This Candy Harvest is an exciting event for our church.

    How does that teach the typical Fundy view of Proverbs 10:2-5? I’ve heard these used against gambling and also expecting something for nothing. But then, logical extension ruins a lot of perfectly good proof-texting.

  38. We use to get these postcard at our church and they would usually end-up on my desk as a joke because of my fundy roots. The last one I got before my letter to good ole Jeff had a picture that looked like a shot from “Green Acres” an old tv show for those of you under the age of 40. Well I sent the card back to Jeff with a letter saying that our church was much different (modern worship, teaching form the NLT etc) and that sending his promotional materials wasn’t a good use of God’s resources. I also included the link to our church website. That was three years ago I think and we don’t get the post cards anymore. :mrgreen:

  39. The content is appropriate for those in 3rd grade and up…

    Because offering conferences with simplistic content for women, where they are often treated like children too, ensures they never get biblically educated enough to start asking the hard questions.

    1. Shopping! We have shopping!

      (yeah, it is only our own crap…but still…)

      We have shopping!

      1. Yes–you have the honor of shopping at any of our 6-foot tables set up in the lobby! You’ll see the latest in culotte designs and flowery dresses. There may even be a home-school curriculum representative to talk to. Stop by the SOTL table to see their selection of books about how fundy women should dress. So much to see and do! Sorry, but there won’t be time to go into town to shop. Maybe next year.

    2. UHG! This is such a sore spot with me. I can’t stand stupidity in people. I’m not talking about the kind where they are genuinely not very bright. People can’t help that, and those kind of people are usually still really good company. I’m talking about the stupidity either through laziness (most people)or force (people responsible for their ‘education’ don’t do their job).

      Even if you don’t have a lot of money (like me), there are libraries, websites, and even your good old fashioned bible! Is it really so hard to pick up a book, read a paper, or engage with someone with an alternate point of view?

      People don’t even have to be quick witted. Just trying to think through things makes you so much more of an interesting person! Okay I’m done. 😯

  40. 🙄 All they need to do is find a hotel/conference center in Stepford and the journey’s complete.

  41. What a joke. How many of you female posters wouuld like to be one of Jeff Owen’s female clones?

  42. Another thought that always strikes me whenever I see something like this is:

    More than one person had to think this was a good idea during its creation.

    I often have the same thought about really bad movies and advertising.

    1. From what I’ve learned of IFB churches, only one had to decide. And it wasn’t his wife.

  43. Haha…small world. I went to Kindergarten and 1st Grade at that church, before Mom started homeschooling us. 🙂

    1. In fact, one of my earliest memories is singing “I broke my bat on Johnny’s head” (we each had a phrase solo, with the entire Kindergarten singing the refrain, “Somebody snitched on me!”) in the annual Christmas play/concert/thingy.

      Another of my earliest recollections is attending Saturday morning Men’s Prayer Breakfast with my Dad, and really loving it because I got to eat doughnuts. 🙂 (I was 5, so that was a big thing.)

      I have two more memories of my time in attendance there, one a life lesson, and one just freaking awesome.

      But I’ll save those for another time.

      As a young child, my memories of there were nothing but good. Clearly either things change or a 5-year-old just doesn’t notice much.

      1. You can grow up in fundamentalist churches without having a horrible childhood, yet still grow up to see the errors in the movement and choose a different church. At least I did. Even though I recognize now that many of the “doctrines” I was taught were actually opinions, preferences, and traditions, none of the churches I attended as a kid were “cult” churches. I also knew that my church family loved me and truly cared for me, even though I wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t really until Fundy U that I came into contact with the power hungry, abusive fundamentalists.

        Despite picking on their poster, this might very well be a loving church like the ones I grew up in. They just don’t have a graphic designer in their membership at this time. 😛

        2. 🙁 That’s awful. Well, I’ve never been to this church nor do I recall hearing of this pastor before this post (though he’s probably been mentioned before). Just pointing out that not all fundy churches are horrible places to be.

  44. Interesting Ashley Furniture is a sponsor – in my experience that furniture attempts to look great on the outside, but when you get it home and spend some time with it, it’s pretty broken, overpriced and stiff.

    1. Ashley Furniture is notorious around here for poor quality furniture and terrible customer service; and if you Google for reviews, you get more of the same across the country. If you really don’t like your pastor and/or his wife. . .

      1. Seeing this is the case, maybe Ashley is the perfect sponsor for a Fundy conference!

  45. Those pictures on that flyer are creepy as hell. Especially when you know that Jeff Owens is the father of a convicted rapist, who preyed upon girls in Owens’ church, even though Owens already knew his son was facing charges of sex with a minor. Ge let his rapist son loose on an unsuspecting congregation.

    1. It always amazes me how much a bad pastor can get away with and remain the pastor.

      Stupid deacons…stupid congregations

  46. That flyer is not the only creepy thing about the site–check out the church homepage. Especially the “Business and Professional Persons Day” announcement–if you come to their church that day, you can get a copy of Dr. Anderson’s book, or… a tie that he’s worn?!? (Ewww.) And every member that brings a visitor gets a picture of Dr. Anderson. (I would NEVER assume that many people want to see my mug in their house all the time!) Ack… so much man worship. And they proclaim that they are “One of America’s Most Exciting Churches.” And they started a Bible college that, among other things, puts “a strong emphasis on…loyalties.” Goodness, I think the whole site might deserve a feature on SFL someday. Gave me the willies.

    1. Yeah, there’s a lot there for sure. Gotta love how they not only declare themselves “one of America’s most exciting churches,” but also the prominently-linked “owens publications” web site says, “Shenandoah Bible Baptist Church is a strong and growing work and is considered to be ‘One of America’s Most Exciting Churches'”

      Considered by…who else, exactly, other than themselves??? The arrogance – so prevalent with this type it’s almost bizarre. 🙄

      1. They’ve had that phrase on their sign facing the Interstate for probably 30 years now… 🙄

  47. My reaction, with times.

    0:00 – gee golly whiz. what a hideous nightmare. ugly as sin.
    0:05 – is that JEFF OWENS? omfg, I heard a sermon from him once about pornography. 40 minutes of shouting into an overly-amplified microphone, in a tiny church that, frankly, didn’t need any PA system.

    0:30
    O GOD THEIR FACES NO NO NO AAAARGHSAOHRAAAARCHGOHAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!

  48. Another item on the news page:

    The maintenance ministry has upgraded our balcony. This change has been a fantastic one. Now all who sit in the balcony can see the altar and lower floor action very well.

    “lower floor action”?!?!?!!??!

    “can see… very well” (this makes the grammar part of my soul twitch)… hey guys, how about a little word called “clearly” – the way it is worded, if I sit in their balcony, my vision will improve to 20/20.

  49. I saw a comment on “flowery dresses” in this comment stream. I’ve seen comments on “flowery dresses” in other comment streams. I like flowery dresses! I also like jeans skirts. Does that mean I’m somewhat fundy? 😯

    1. I wonder about this thing with jean skirts since I heard that at one of those ladies meetings someone said it was a sin to wear denim. I wasn’t there but some of the women in my church at that time went and said this later on when they were talking about it. I asked the woman who said this if she was absolutely sure of what she heard and she was. I said, how can they say wearing denim is a sin? Denim was not even invented yet when the Bible was written how can they say this, where’s the verse saying so? She shrugged. I wonder at the presumption of some of this stuff, and how quick people are to swallow it. You really need to ask yourself where any of this is in the Bible.

      The first fundy preacher we knew had this idea that women’s hair had to be at least long enough to cover their ears. It was ok to be short but it had to cover her ears. Why? Again where is the Biblical evidence? 😳

    2. My wife has very nice floral print dresses and denim skirts. As a whole, many of them are attractive and modest. (as well as attractive and immodest, but that’s another page) But aside from that, there are a lot of “frumpy”, ugly floral print dresses. These seem to be the choice of Fundy women and homeschool parents. That, or dresses that haven’t been in style since the 60’s. 70’s, or 80’s, depending on which Fundy time stream they are frozen into.

      There is also a very Fundy denomination known for their denim skirts and jumpers. It’s as if these women take a form of pride in their humility of dress and appearance.

      So, Beth, to make a short comment long, No. There is nothing necessarily Fundy about Floral and denim. The Fundyness is in the particular style of each. That, and the plethora of ways to make almost anything ugly in the name of religion.

    3. It doesn’t mean you’re a Fundy if you wear floral-design dresses and jean skirts. It does mean you’re a fundy if you think that any other kind of clothing for women is evil and any woman wearing them is a floozy or a Jezebel.

    4. I wear a lot of things other than flowered dresses and denim skirts; I just tend to gravitate toward them when wearing a dress. (I usually wear pants, capris, or shorts.) I prefer lighter or brighter colored flowered dresses. 😀

  50. I noticed quite a few things about this church’s website. Very man-centered. But perhaps most interesting (in terms of inside-baseball ifb stuff)is this statement by Russell Anderson on their Bible college page: “He (Owens) is, in my opinion, the best man in the country to perpetuate what Dr. Hyles and I started together many years ago.” So, not Schaap, then?

    1. Yeah, that’s pretty much what I got from it…”I don’t like Schaap.”

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