Preachers

Jackassery

214 Comments

The title of this post may seem unkind but if the shoe fits…

Update (3/13) After almost a month of this post being up, TeaysValleyBaptist has decided to remove the video. It’s worth pointing out that although that have been several claims that this clip was edited, it was not edited by me. All I did was embed the video clip as it was uploaded by TeaysValleyBaptist.

214 thoughts on “Jackassery”

  2. Oh. My. Word. I lasted a few minutes. I cannot TAKE the hokey-yokel act, for one thing, and I KNOW where he is going with this marriage talk…. 🙄

    1. Also, who told these preacher-boys that stomping around and around the platform, like some caged animal, is groovy? It is STUPID. Serious speakers who have an important message to convey do not stoop to theatrical methods. 👿

    3. This guy sure isn’t helping me make the case to my friends that not everybody with a Southern accent is ignorant.

  4. Ok, I got through 4:44 and couldn’t take anymore.

    ~Yes, the hokey-yokel act…blek.

    ~ I couldn’t help but notice the preacher said, “I pay you to be on time.” So, I guess the tithes and offering belong to the preacher and not to God? 😯

    ~ How is any of the edifying? 😕

  5. “A good submissive wife.” It obviously shows he does not know how to properly exegete Paul’s letters.

  6. I thought the story was pretty funny. But what a waste of time for a time that should be used to properly study God’s Word.

    Sounds like the preacher micro managages his staff.

    “The preacher thinks.” “The preacher said to get your house in order.” “Doc Brown said…”

    I can hardly think that the wife approved of the telling of this story either.

    If I told a story like this from the pulpit, there would be another “family argument” and I would not come out on the winning side, no matter how much my “big boy britches” were pulled up.

    1. I’ll give you a hardy Hay-men to that one.—The part about not winning that family argument.

      I found the story rather ridiculous. This whole sermon was about glorifying himself, not Christ in the least.

  7. I found it interesting that when he took the advice of his boss, the preacher, he and his wife had a big ol’ testimony-ruining fight–but no blame is assigned to that preacher for meddling.

    1. I can’t say the preacher was meddling. If this guy was an employee and was showing up late on Sunday. The pastor was justified in addressing the issue.

      The pastor was not right in how he handled it, he should have stated the issue, pointed out any consequences and then left it up to the husband on how to address it.

      Maybe him getting a small car to come to work by himself would have been a better solution.

      1. That’s precisely what’s meddling–not, “I need you to be to work on time,” but “I know why you’re late. It’s your wife’s fault. you need to put your big boy britches on and get your wife in line.”

        The first is professional, the second is meddling.

        1. Ah, I understand your point now. I was confused. My “big-boy britches” were on too tight.

        2. If he really had his “big boy britches on”…

          “Preacher Brown, you are utterly in the wrong for assuming that my wife is the cause of my not being able to get here on time, and for being so judgmental of her”

  8. Ughhh I shouldn’t have posted until I finished watching the video.

    How much does this pastor limit the Spirit of God?

    God’s Spirit is too weak to work, if we have sin in our life.

    God’s Spirit is too weak and Satan has his victory because of the way we behave.

    God is vindictive enough that if we sin on Sunday morning our car won’t start….

    1. The last point you mention is one of my biggest struggles to overcome since leaving Fundyville. I constantly have to tell myself that misfortunes I suffer are not a grudging God sticking pins in a Chris doll because I failed him in some area of my life.

      1. Ouch! You know Chris, same here! It does get easier, the longer you are out of fundy-dum, though!

    2. YES! (Same comment as Chris to yours) I have such a hard time realizing that GOD is not the one who causes the hardships in my life to try and punish me or teach me a lesson of some sort. The Bible is clear when it says that it is the GOODNESS of God that brings us to repentance.
      I have had several miscarriages throughout my childbearing years. The first time it happened I thought it was God telling me that I shouldn’t have gotten married so young. Then the doctor’s wife (A fundy) told me that very thing so it was reinforced. When I was pregnant with my second child I had another one. I was ready to quit everything altogether. I couldn’t understand why God would do this to me again. It didn’t make me want to be closer to God it made me feel confused and miserable. I wouldn’t turn to God for comfort because I thought He was mad at me. I had a very wonderful step-mother-in-law who was there for me at the time who was not even a Christian but gave me better comfort than the Christians in my life. She said God didn’t work that way and that HE hurt when WE hurt. In all the bad things that have happened in our lives since we got out of that environment I recognize that God is the only reason we can make it through these things, NOT the reason bad stuff happens to us. Every good and perfect gift comes from God our Father who dearly loves us. There is suffering. We live in a fallen world. But God isn’t beating us into submission, He is patient and kind and loving to us. Much more than we deserve.

        1. Oh, and here is probably not an inappropriate place to put that my daughter (the one who is named after you, Seen Enough) was the survivor of that second miscarriage. She had a twin. We didn’t know it for sure until she was delivered, and we were just so thrilled to have a healthy baby. She has been such a gift. God is so good. (Yes, her middle name really is Seen Enough.)

        2. I love it. Lucretia Seen Enough Borgia. Unique. 😳 You are too kind. And I am so glad she survived!

      2. “I had a very wonderful step-mother-in-law who was there for me at the time who was not even a Christian but gave me better comfort than the Christians in my life”

        This is the saddest commentary on Christians that I can imagine. I’m afraid many Christians do believe that God is punishing them when bad things happen.

  9. Made it through 2.5 minutes before I pulled the plug, but seems like another get the wife in line type message. Gotta love how fundies could spend all day “preaching” on their perceived wife’s role in a marriage and never touch on God’s mandated role for the husband.

  10. That pastor was wrong in all that he said. Ok there’s a problem with CT and Becky being late on Sunday. Why does he automatically assume the fault is hers? My husband and I have the same problem with lateness but it’s usually his fault, I am often ready and waiting for him. But people always assume it’s the wife’s fault so I get on him for this.

    The pastor should have only said, you and your wife need to work on being on time. Period. Instead he assumed it was her fault and told CT to be the big shot head of his home and go home and read his wife the riot act. He was all set to do so and only the fact that she came in and acted sweet saved her from the riot act.

    It turns out that in THEIR case it probably is more her fault than his because she has to have every hair in place. Most of us don’t. It does help to have your clothing planned and ready the night before.

    The pastor took what should’ve been a small problem easily dealt with and turned it into more than it needed to be by challenging CT to act like the big bossy male. All he needed to do was go home and say, “Honey we need to work at being on time Sunday, the pastor spoke to me about it” and leave it at that.

  11. You could make a drinking game out of how many times he said “I’m talkin bout”. The man was channeling the spirit of Boomhauer quite well there.

  12. Watched it all, right funny story, he’s not a bad story-teller,……….”I’m Talking About” just when was he was going to get around to talking about God………..”I knew the people, knew their hearts”……..nope, you don’t!

    So I guess today we should all just thank God for this preacher and his wife, they are worthy to be praised…………..sorry God, got carried away there for a minute……..it is you Lord that is worthy to be Praised and only you!!!!

      1. Holy crap, I was right. Pastor John Smith. I was in the audience the day he had it announced to the congregation that the doctor had declared Smith’s soon-to-be-married daughter a virgin. Yuck. This is basically a church full of rich people trying to buy their way into heaven. SO glad I’m away from there!

        1. If I were that jackass’ daughter, I would have gotten up right then and left. I cannot imagine how debasing and hurtful that had to be. 😯

        5. Wow. I know a couple of refugees from that church, and at least one of the (current? former?) pastors used to work with my dad. That is some crazy stuff.

    2. I wish I was. I remember it went something along the lines of “in this day and age when purity is scoffed at, imagine how proud Dr. Smith and his wife were when the doctor said their little girl was still a virgin.” Not exact words but something like that. Not that I have a problem with her being a virgin. I just didn’t think that was any of the congregation’s business.

      2. Oof. That’s just as bad as the Bedouin bedsheet. Especially bringing a third party in to “certify” something like that. As anothe poster said, this is a business that is entirely between husband-to-be and wife-to-be.

  15. I forgot how shallow and performance oriented fundy preaching was.

    My favorite part is when the preacher states that God can’t use us if we aren’t 100% right. Good old fashioned strong-arm techniques. Omnipotence conveniently gets pushed to the side here. And I guarantee that he could just as passionately tell a story about a time that God used him even though he wasn’t right and how humbling it was. If it fit the situation.

    How much are ticket prices again?

  16. What he didn’t say that “Doc” Brown did say during the meeting:

    “Now C.T., don’t look so down. Some good may actually come from this. This whole situation just might make a good sermon illustration to use someday. As you know, if you plan on becoming an evangelist, you have to be a good story teller. If you work on it, have a few rabbit trails here and there, talk about yourself, talk about your wife, talk about…ahem…me, this could easily be a 15 minuter. But don’t go longer than that. Try to work a little Bible in if you can.”

  17. I thought his “parable” could have been more effective if he hadn’t had to be the good guy who apologized “even though he was innocent”. When I teach or preach, I occasionally use stories that involve my wife. My goal is that she never bear the brunt of criticism or be the butt of the joke. Even while living in Fundystan, I never thought wife-deprecating humor was funny.

    In reply to “what’s love got to do with it”, (which is an odd fundy reference), try reading 1 Cor. 13. Then apply the things love does/doesn’t to your marriage relationship.

    1. When I left my super-fundy church I wound up for a time in an SBC, which was light years away from the legalism I had been exposed to in the other church. Anyway they had a young guy that had just gotten ordained last year, and he really is a good guy, but he keeps up a constant running comedy dialogue the entire sermon, unfortunately some of that “humor” revolves around “joking” about keeping his wife in line by physical force, I would just cringe thinking of the women that “were kept in line” by force that had to hear this mess, I’m sure they didn’t think it was very funny!

      2. Maybe they were those “spanking” Christians… 🙄 That whole rant was a waste of everybody’s time at church that day. Not one portion of scripture was read. And that disgusting line about putting his “big boy pants” on made me want to scream. I had a spouse that was always late to everything and late when it was time to go home after the morning service when I would be starving and dying to get out of the uncomfortable fundy clothes (this was way in the begining when I tried to follow the rules out of respect for authority, ugh) anyway after talking with him about it every week and no change, one Sunday I just left without him and he had to get a ride from someone. It worked, just sayin… 😯 😈 Oh, and how does one “drip with the Holy Spirit”? Maybe it was hairspray dripping…

  18. He needs to put his big boy britches on and tell his pastor to stay out of his marriage.

    2. If the pastor had addressed me that way (and he wouldn’t, because people just don’t talk to me that way), I would have cold-cocked him straight to the ER. That’s God’s punishment for insulting my wife.

  20. This guy is an ass. “Doc Brown” is an ass. And there’s a TON more I could say about the entire concept of a woman being submissive and the man “being the head of the home”…but my blood pressure is rising too much…

  21. Two things that turned me off even before his story got to the “I’m going to make fun of my wife to make a point that’s wrong anyway” part:

    1) I despise the intentional “country” grammar. This man has a degree +3 other years of college level schooling. It’s incredibly patronizing to then adopt/maintain this “Who cares about speaking with proper English? I’m talkin’ to the people!” crap. Not to mention the man is wearing a suit and talking like he thinks he’s some back woods bumpkin (who would probably use better grammar). I wonder if he’s made jokes about “ebonics” in his yokel voice.

    2) I really dislike it when a man wearing a suit shoves his fists in his pants’ pockets like that. If you are going to put your hand in your pants’ pocket, pull your jacket back when you do it. Doing scrunch your jacket all up.

    Somehow I did manage to watch the whole thing. I wish I could give his wife a hug and tell her it doesn’t have to be that way–she doesn’t have to be the “silly woman” in her husband’s illustrations. Ugh.

    1. I know a man who nearly finished his degree from Georgia Tech, worked 5 years in IT and customer support for IBM (back when IBM was so uptight, children of IBMers were born wearing a tie) and is now a professional speaker who speaks a lot like Townsend.

      You may have heard of him — Jeff Foxworthy. So is *he* being patronizing to his audience despite his education and background? What about if we add in the factor that, with his on-stage persona, Jeff is actually *dialing back* his accent and *up-ing* his speech? (I’ve heard him speak out of the spotlight; the real Foxworthy is MORE redneck than the one on stage.)

      You may not like it; you may even “despise” it. But please don’t use it as a launching pad for your interpretation of the man’s motivations. Some of us dumb Southerners just talk that way.

      1. Thanks for those good points. Many, perhaps most Southerners are uneducated rednecks. This has nothing to do with what church they go to or if they are fundy or not; it’s simply a Southern thing. That’s why most of the Fortune 500 companies are in the northern part of the country and very few are in the South. Many Southerners also voted for Obama. That right there tells you they are not well educated or logical.

        1. Sheila, was a that a delightful self-parody of irrational regional stereotype bigotry, or are your views of people unlike yourself really that hateful and non-cogent?

    3. I grew up in that area, went to church in the area he preaches, and still have family there. We really, actually do talk with that accent. It’s no different than someone for Boston having their accent, an English person having theirs, or a California person with that accent. It’s no reflection on education or intelligence.

      1. I never got, from Renee D’s comment, that she was knocking his ACCENT. She mentioned his lousy grammar. I live not that far from the area where this guy is; I happen to love the accent of this region. What I do NOT love is public speakers who do not care enough about their listeners to speak propely. Is he trying to convey an important message? Then why not speak as if that is the case? Why clomp around, pulling at his waistband, putting on a show, telling Scripture-less stories, and leaving God out of it? Jeff Foxworthy is ON the stage to be a clown; this guy is supposed to be righly dividing the Word of Truth! A little defensive of our accent, are we? Yet, it was never the ACCENT that was the problem, here. It was the Jeff Foxworthy-cheap-imitation performance by someone who SHOULD have had something important to say. As far as this “message” having anything edifying in it, I guess some listeners areceasily satisfied. This crap would have me leaving afterward, determined to find a better church. 👿

        3. So, for whatever reason, you are determined to defend the indefensible. At this point, that is obvious, and further discussion becomes pointless. I have better things to do with my time than soothe whatever hurt your pride here. You post statements about what others have supposedly said, though they never did. Cheap, and would be shot down in legitimate debate. Toodle-loo.

        5. I apologize for our enthusiastic friend. (Seen Enough)

          I have seen it before on SFL. They start having fun running everyone and everything fundy down,(or what they perceive as fundy) and after a time begin to like their opinions so much they start to discount everyone’s opinion that doesn’t line up exactly with theirs. This is excacerbated when they start hanging out with popular SFL “superstars” that think the same way, they become little “SS” SFL thought police. It’s funny and sad at the same time, they end up becoming exactly as fundy in their thoughts and speech as those they were originally making fun of.

          Hey Seen Enough, lighten up alittle bit, or better yet, take a vacation.

        6. * * * * SUPERSTAR! * * * *

          (that would have really been funny if you could have seen me say it instead of just read it… It was like Mary Katherine Gallagher or whatever her name was on SNL. Remember her? (If you aren’t too young that is) she wore a cahtolic school girl dress… anyway, thank you for calling me a superstar, I really think I am only a regular star though. (me being humble) Oh and quit fighting with Seen Enough, it is making me sad.)

        7. Hate to disappoint ya Sims, but I really wasn’t considering you one of the “superstars.” You and Seen Enough are peers, heading toward “superstar” status. I’m trying to help you both, with this intervention! :mrgreen:

          Right now you’re both just junior G-Men!!

        8. O Sims,

          While I appreciate your intent, do not feed the things under the bridge. Also, be grateful it is not “siding”with you or with me. Pity the person whose cause it defends. They don’t want it, either. Leave it alone, and it will snarfle back into the ooze. 😉

        9. Greg, for what it’s worth, I don’t consider you a troll, but then again I got close to zero SFL cred…I actually enjoy differing opinions so keep on posting. I personally thought that CT’s message was man centered crap and “jackhole” should proceed his initials.

        10. @greg: It’s funny and sad at the same time, they end up becoming exactly as fundy in their thoughts and speech as those they were originally making fun of.

          Exactly what I was thinking.

        12. @Bill, I feel ya on the SFL cred, I’m in the same boat. But like you, I do enjoy the different opinions. I don’t worry for a moment about the “Troll Card” it gets pulled out regularly by the immature and unimaginative, it reminds me of my halcyon days…….in the 5th grade.

          @Brendt. I see it happen fairly often here, but just take note, it’s just a few, they run around and they tag-team one another and do their high fives, but if they would stop and look around its never more than their 4 or 5 and they’re the same old ones!

          I guess I’ve been coming here for a couple of years now, and it’s just this small element here that consistently do this.

          I’m afraid, like they say in Texas about “certain” men, “They’re all hat and no cattle!!”

        14. Appalachian English has its own grammar. If outsiders don’t like it they don’t have to listen.

        15. Greg, for what it’s worth, in claiming that some are “immature, unimaginative and 5th graders” you have come full circle and are now fighting yourself. Our greatest sins are the ones we love pointing out in other people. Why is that?

        16. Please, let’s bring back this forum from the abyss. Yes, the Southern accent is the problem. Whether it’s a pastor, a teacher, a bartender or a garbage collector, the Soutern accent is always uncouth and unneccessary. Please don’t try to excuse it.

    4. Well, he IS from southern West Virginia. Them people are hicks down there. In the northern part of the state you find far more educated and refined type of folk.

    5. There is formal and informal English. When I am at work or in the professional setting, I use formal English. When I am with my friends I break out the slang and the bad grammar.
      If the church is a place of reverence, where people are expected to wear their “Sunday Best” and pray to their god in the King’s English, then maybe the minister should also have some reverence with his use of language.

  22. Someone needs to put his big boy pants on and tell whoever Doc Brown is that he he has no business talking about his wife & impugning her to her husband. WTF

  23. Somebody please break down for me what you think about the ending summary where he was speaking holy ghost … ‘clean and in a [useful] place…” I’m curious how you former fundies who still practice Christianity see that statement.

    1. I am pretty sure their gauge of whether the Holy Ghost is present in a service is by how many people respond or “pop up” as he put it. I think this guy (and others like him) like the feeling of specialness that they have done something good and are now worthy vessels for the Holy Spirit to work. Everything about it reeks of arrogance and pride. I am an unworthy vessel. I can do nothing to increase my capacity for the Holy Spirit. I am glad he apologized to his wife, and maybe that made him more sensitive to the presence of the Holy SPirit in his own heart, but I do not believe that the Holy Spirit can drip off of a person and onto a crowd. I don’t think He works that way at all. But they are wrong about so many things. The work of the Holy SPirit scares most fundies, and I never really learned about it until after I was out and I dared to go to a church where they raised their hands in worship and enjoyed their salvation. Fundy churches don’t generally go that way.

    2. That is performance Churchainity and works sacntification. It boils down to your view of God. If god is merely someone you have chosen to worship then you continue with the same attitude relying on your performance to appease the god you have chosen to serve.

      If God is the Sovereign over all his creation and he draws those whom he is saving, then one realizes it is all of Grace and not of ourselves, it is the gift of God, not the result of our works so that we can boast about it but we are his workmanship. We are new creatures in Christ Jesus and we do good works as a result of who we are in Christ… not so that we are perfect vessels, we’re not and never can be, but we are sanctified because of the work of Christ in us.

      The teaching found in this video is saying that we can sanctify ourselves so that God can use us. If that is so then God will never use us, because we cannot sanctify ourselves. This man centered doctrine says I can make myself good enough for God to use me, and until I do God is limited and cannot fullfil his purposes until I prepare myself so he can then make use of me.

      1. Don and others, why are we even talking about the proper theology here? To me, the argument is the uneducated use of the Southern accent. Since most of us here don’t even believe or care in a “god” anymore, why bother talking about the proper way to view things from a religious point of view? If we resort to that, we are just going back to our old ways when we were duped into being christians. I think most of us have by now gotten educated enough to leave behind christianity and all religions. Why are we slipping back into our old ways by talking about religion? For me at least, this ruins the fun of this blog.

        1. Perhaps you misunderstand the point of what we are doing here. We are not bashing Christianity, but the misuse and absurdity that the IFB (particularly) presents as Christianity. Many of us have not thrown the baby out with the bath-water. My heart aches that many have. God is so much more than the shallow, weak anemic god that the frudies trot out every Sunday and Wednesday (when they mention him at all).

          I had a crisis of religion that was for me a real humdinger, not as bad as some, but when the pastor loses his standing and ends up in jail that is fairly traumatic for those who are swilling the kool-aide.

          Yet, what did those circumstances do to God? Nothing. He is still God irregardless of circumstances, independent of “bad” things happening, and inspite of what I think regarding the situtation. He is God, almighty, all knowing, all wise, omnipresent, just, good, righteous and Holy. Worthy of our worship. In fact, the only one who is worthy of our worship. When God is seen for who he is then hero-worship stories like the OP here, will be seen for the foolish waste of air and energy that they are.

    3. #1 – Best. Screenename. Ever.
      #2 – To put it simply, the Bible never refers to the Holy Spirit in the same way as fundies do. According to established Christian orthodoxy, the Holy Spirit is the third person of the trinity. According to fundies, the Holy Spirit is a kind of force, one which apparently resembles a liquid commodity, and which can be “had” in different measures. Very, very confusing.

  24. Performance Churchianity at it’s very best!

    It’s all about me, my performance and what I do, I have the power to limit god and keep him from carrying out his purposes. Yep, this is what man centered religion looks and acts like. What a poor god this religion portrays. 🙁

  25. What’s with 35? Did I miss the numerology class where that is the number of humorous exaggeration?b

  26. Not good. I don’t know the Townsends, but this story made me really uncomfortable. I feel bad for Mrs. Townsend, and I’m not sure I would have sat through this “illustration.” If someone wants to tell a story like this, he should be, without any doubt, the butt of his own joke. No preacher’s wife should have to endure this.

    2. I’m glad that my husband has never told illustrations in his sermon that made ME look bad. I’ve seen it done and it’s ugly.

  28. wait, 1 scritpure, 10:30, out of context, misused.

    Someone tell this moron that his ‘rightness’ with God is because of Christ not a ‘choice’ he makes.

    argh.

  29. I am glad that I watched this video. I am also thankful that I have not had this kind of “preaching” to listen to now for a while. First, I thought that a preachers job was to preach the gospel not put on some kind of an act that benefits no one. 2nd, leave your private life (problems) out of your so called preaching. Preach the Word of God and let the Holy Spirit do His work. This was such a disgusting show of watch me perform. Can he really believe that this kind of an act really pleases God? Makes me shudder to think that therte are folks that subject themselves to this garbarge and then think that they listened to a good message.

      1. If you are uncomfortable with that kind of preaching, then the Holy Spirit MUST be working on you and you need to get right with God. *rolls eyes*

  32. It’s people like him, smug, arrogant, condescending, and flippant, that now make me want to puke. I cannot believe I used to think this type of thing meant anything. 👿

  33. I know this church and pastor personally. I have preached from that pulpit. This meeting just took place. How disappointing to see valuable preaching time taken up with story telling.

    1. It’s hardly storytelling that’s the problem (Christ used parables…) but, as has been aptly detailed above, the “theology” and the disparaging, publicly no less, of his wife.

  35. Some wonderful Christ-centered preaching goin’ on in this video………..NOT!!!!! Entertaining? Certainly! 😆 Scriptural? Not even close for a cigar (with apologies to Spurgeon).

  36. Basically, this kid is in the wrong business. He’d make a good salesman and a reasonable stand-up. He’s working the audience well, he’s using the local demotic, he’s keeping the good humour going (the audience is probably grateful it’s not one of the usual preachings) but the theology is very weird. How the heck is anyone supposed to be 100% right? And if we have to be 100% right before The Almighty can use us, I fear The Almighty is in for a very long wait.

  37. Darrell, I realize that you said “if the shoe fits”, but I’m still kinda confused. “Doc Brown” is definitely a jackass, but I don’t see much jackassery on Townsend’s part (unless, like many commenters have stated was the case for them, you don’t watch the entire video).

    There’s some crappy theology (e.g. “God could not…”) and I think he went over the top (even with his wife’s permission), but what I took away from the story was largely a confession by Townsend of what an idiot he had been and what he saw as the spiritual ramifications of his idiocy. And (if you read between the lines and even though it probably wasn’t intentional) Townsend called Doc Brown out for being a jackass.

    1. It was all for show. It was all about him and how far up “Doc’s” posterior he was. There was nothing humble about that crap. It was all about his performance and his ability to manipulate the audience with his story telling.

      He substituted himself for Christ and made it all about him and his “big boy pants.” This is not preaching, this edifies no one and brings glory to no one but himself. And on top of that, it promotes false teaching regarding sanctification, the Sovereignty of God and the working and power of the Holy Spirit. He blatently claimed the glory for the “outpouring” of the Holy Spirit in the service he was so humbly bragging about.

      Yeah, Jackassery fits very well. Though I submit “Doc-assery” is probably a better descriptor.

      1. I fail to see how it was about him and his “big boy britches” when he clearly showed that every time he tried to don said pantaloons, everything went horribly wrong.

        “this edifies no one” – oh crap, and here I thought I had been edified, even despite some poor theology – thanks for setting me straight. (“Lord, I apologize for crediting You with teaching me something. And be with the pygmies in New Guinea. Amen.” — 50 points if you get the reference)

        As to him “blatantly claim[ing] the glory”, I apparently watched the wrong video. In the one I watched, *IF* he can be accused of taking God’s power and attributing it to a human (though I don’t think he really can), he attributed it to his *wife* (not himself) and then immediately followed it by saying “I just sat back…”

        Yeah, this video has several of the hallmarks of fundy-ism (including the crap theology). But in other ways, this guy seems to be one of the less fundy people highlighted around these parts. Heck, I even interpreted the “good, submissive wife” line as tongue-in-cheek, poking fun at his own naivete as a younger man.

        1. Gimme my 50 points! Brendt, I think there could be a takeaway here, but the reason I personally found this offensive was found in two things:
          1) I find the public humiliation of one’s wife pathetic, ungentlemanly, and base – no matter the point or outcome of the story.
          2) This extended self-centered doc-u-drama doesn’t belong in a sermon.
          But, that is just my perspective, and since I am not a fundie any more I not only respect your perspective, I welcome it.

        2. Dr F, your 50 points are in the mail.

          The fact that you attribute your feelings to personal opinion and don’t make sweeping statements that apply to everyone makes you “indefensible” in some folks’ eyes. :mrgreen:

        3. BWW (may I call you B ‘dubya?)

          In all humility, I think you are missing the forest for the trees. We think that all displays of organized religion and this believe in some great god is utter foolishness. You seem to be coming from an angle that christianity actually has some merit and are trying to pull the “good” preaching from the “bad.” when it comes to religion and the belief in a god, it’s ALL bad, whether it be christianity, buddhism, whatever. At this blog we mainly point out the absurdity of religion from the christian point of view, since that where most of us came from. We threw out the baby with the bathwater. You seem like you’re still trying to sift through and pull out something good from organized religion. Why?

      2. Don, I’ve been to this “church.” It’s all for show. The pastor jumps up and down, screams, stomps his foot, and waves his hands around the entire time. I’ve seen a guest preacher there get down on his back and flail his arms and legs around to demonstrate how the Prodigal Son reacted to his father when he returned home. Another guest preacher screeched louder than any woman I’ve ever heard. Their Christmas program, the year I attended, featured bloody baby dolls. And let’s not forget the anti-abortion song “They’re Killing Our Children” on Mother’s Day. I don’t remember a single Biblical lesson from any sermon I heard there. Not a single one.

        1. Rose, so on mother’s day, they sing a song about how abortion is wrong and this bothers you. What if they sang it on earth day, would that help?

        2. Actually, Josh, no, it wouldn’t. As far as I’m concerned church music should be to glorify God, not to preach political messages. If she wanted to sing an anti-abortion song she should have stood outside of an abortion clinic.

        3. Bloody baby dolls and dead baby songs on Mother’s Day? That’s not the least bit horrifying, is it? (*tic). Perhaps a little sensitivity is in order … I have a hard enough time attending church on MD as it is. First, I lost five pregnancies (six babies). That alone was enough to keep me out of the motherhood orgy that is Mother’s Day. I would not have any desire to have my nose rubbed in dead babies and bloody gore just so someone can prove his or her political point. Second, I lost my own mother. It’s just not a happy day for every woman. The insensitivity of those pious asshats appalls me (pardon my language).

  38. Since I’m a complimentarian 👿 I guess this just doesn’t shock me like it should. I thought the demeanor of his pastor was the worst part.

    1. I think this should shock complementarians more than functional egalitarians. Complementarians don’t believe that spouses are on equal footing – the husband has the God-given duty to love his wife as Christ loved the Church and to lay down his life in the same manner. I am so glad that Jesus doesn’t go around broadcasting my failures to large audiences of revelers!

  39. I just feel sorry for the poor lady having to translate all that crap into sign language.

  40. I’ve just seen this this morning, actually watched the whole video, and it reached my heart, when nothing much lately reaches it in this way.
    I wouldn’t say that God can’t use a person that isn’t “right”, but this guy didn’t “make” his wife be there on time, and he asked her for forgiveness – and that is what my marriage is made up of these days, when I never thought it to be possible.
    So thanks for posting, my son is getting married next Saturday and I think I’ll send him the youtube link.
    I don’t mind being a jackass. 😀

  41. Two things:

    1. Apparently the grace of God is made null and void if I have a human experience

    2. Church takes a lot less time to dress for when you aren’t so worried about what other people think about your hair.

  42. Like Templewoman, I appreciate that he didn’t drag his wife out the door or berate her for being disobedient and blah blah blah. And I’m thrilled to see that no one in this video mentioned anyone needing church discipline.

    But the biggest thing I got from this video is how much I want a cherry Coke and a donut.

  43. I’m not sure which I liked better, “the holy ghost diddled with my heart”, or “the power of god drippin’ right off her”. Lots more fun if you listen with a really dirty mind. Or maybe that’s what satan had in mind.

  44. I have not yet read the comments…but I have to ask…can the woman translating in sign language translate that *awful* accent? Well, it wasn’t the accent that bothered me so much as the butchery of the beautiful English language. Did she translate, “I’uz wentin’ to” correctly? Does that translate into sign language? Just curious.

    Also, what the heck is the deal with embarrassing people in church (as in, “You fools dared to me late in *MY* church?!? Come ‘bless’ us with a song that you have not prepared or prayed about, then. Maybe you’ll think twice about embarrassing me with your tardiness again, hmmm???” Or, of course, talking crap about the wifey and laughing and laughing because, well, it’s all just a joke, anyhow, and everybody knows all women are slow and late all the time)? The only thing a stunt like that is likely to accomplish is anguish, frustration, and possibly resentment on the part of the addressee. It’s one of the things I despise most about churches like this. If one has a leadership position in the church, one may be called out and embarrassed at any moment. It’s what kept my dad out of any sort of leadership position in the church and eventually kept him out of church entirely…and it’s certainly what keeps me from setting foot in any church with that sort of attitude…

    1. Cheesecake–I think it’s just because it makes the speaker feel big and important. My husband is diabetic, and when we were going to the fundy church (not the one featured in this video but the one after that) the pastor seemed to take great delight in talking about how “sweet” my husband was in every sermon. Every. Damned. Sermon.

      1. Awful. I’m sure you’re husband just thought it was *hilarious,* amiright? I suppose they think it shows how much they “know” their congregation, in addition to making them seem “above” everyone else. It’s just so bothersome to me. I will stand up and sing in front of a church and never once feel embarrassed, but the minute a pastor starts calling me out on my personal life in front of the entire congregation, I’m out. That nonsense is entirely unnecessary and uncalled for.

    2. I meant to comment on the deaf interpreter. I used to do that in my fundy church years ago. You can’t translate an accent and the deaf wouldn’t get it anyway. You interpret what the person means not word for word but the meaning of his or her words. Also when you interpret you “become” the speaker. If you are a female interpreter and the speaker is a man (which is how it always is in the IFB church) and he says “my wife” you sign “my wife” not “his wife.”

      There are only about 1200 different signs so there is only one sign for marvelous, wonderful, fantastic, terrific, etc, which all mean the same thing.

      Sometimes you have to be careful of tenses. You often have to sign “finish” to signify that something is in the past. In the example you’re using, you’d sign, “I go finish” for “I went.” There is no way to indicate an accent southern or otherwise. 😉

      1. I wonder how the fundy, KJV-only church can have a signer that cannot interpret word for word. What if they sign “you” instead of “thee”? or “should” instead of “shouldst”?
        Don’t they know that we as humans can completely block the effectiveness of the Holy Spirit if we don’t communicate every “shouldst” in the Bible?

    3. In thinking more about this, I realized that the pastor assumed the blame for their being late was the wife’s. He went home and told her what the pastor had said and she said, “Did you throw me under the bus?” meaning did you blame me. No he didn’t have to, the pastor already had ASS-umed that it was her fault. Typical male! But she knew it was her fault. Her husband could honestly say no… and he sounds like he didn’t inform her that the pastor had already ASS-umed it. That was probably wise of him, if he’d said, “No honey, he already ASS-umed that…” then she would’ve gotten ticked with the pastor. 😕

      1. But the wife clearly understands the ways of fundie politics. By asking if he had thrown her under the bus she completely understands how the Chief M-O-g what am in Charge thinks. She sees, and knows how the game is played at that Church. She is probably not the first one who has been the target of his micro-management. 🙁

  45. Having spent 23 years in an IFB church in Michigan under 3 pastors there I have heard so much anti-woman stuff as to really question why I stayed so long. Mostly I rolled my eyes at it, but sometimes it really angered me.

    There was this evangelist. The memory of him just makes me want to scream! 👿 He bragged that his anniversary fell on the first day of hunting season every year and rather than spend it with his wife, he went hunting. He’d say whenever he said that in churches women would say if he was their husband they’d divorce him. He said if I was your husband I’d want you to divorce me. Hateful rotten man! 👿 This same jerk would start his messages with all sorts of anti woman jokes and then say he could tell who the feminists in the congregation were because they were the ones not laughing at his jokes. He wasn’t funny he was disgusting. And then he’d get on cats, so he’d have me ticked off royally before even beginning to preach. 😥

    There are many preachers who make their wives the butt of their jokes. Some do it to their kids as well. I remember one who would always pick on his daughter in his messages. He’d take pleasure in badmouthing her to the congregation and bragging on how as her father he had the authority to not allow her to do things. Like keep her off the school’s volleyball team. All the other girls were on the team but her and he kept her off just because he could. 👿 He was sadistic.

    Then there are the preachers who love to mimic a woman’s voice in some high falsetto soprano and they sound so stupid. And it’s always to have the woman say something stupid so he can pick fault with it. Of course women are not allowed equal time since we’re not allowed to preach! If I had a buck for every time I was tempted to stand up and demand equal time I’d be rich. 😈

    Oh boy I just made myself very angry! 👿

    1. When did this guy have time to preach?

      I wouldn’t have blamed his wife for slipping a little laxatives (or arsenic) into his meal when he came back from hunting.

      1. Forget that. Slip the laxatives in his coffee right before he heads off for hunting. Pretty much ruin the hunting trip AND make for some serious embarrassment at some point during the trip. 😈

      2. How about arsenic, strychnine, and “just a pinch” of cyanide in his elderberry wine coffee.

        1. At least those sweet old ladies were putting unloved old men out of their misery … oh, wait. Never mind. You’re absolutely right. Go on with you, then.

    2. I haven’t finished the video yet, but if he is mocking his wife or making her the butt of the jokes, that is a bad practice.

      The “If you were my husband, I’d divorce you”, followed by “If you were my wife I’d want you to” is probably a take-off of the Winston Churchill story that goes:

      Angry Woman: Mr Churchill, if you were my husband, I’d poison your drink!
      Churchill: Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.

  46. Doc Brown? Did he ever get to ride in the DeLorean? Like maybe to the Pleistocene, where his opinions would sound a little more modern?

  47. I just could not take the awful grammar and the swagger. This was not an ediflying teaching using scripture, it was more like some high school parking lot performance. It is embarrassing to think that this man is associated with the church.

    What an ass. 👿

  48. at first he sounded a little bit like Bill Clinton, which made me giggle, but then…I just wanted to choke him for how he talked about his wife.

    all the degrading women jokes I heard growing up made me hate being female.

    if it’s not “ok” for a woman to tell degrading man jokes, then it shouldn’t be “ok” for a man to tell degrading women jokes. but these people have no idea what equality is and still view women as property/slaves.

  49. I’m sorry, but any illustration that takes 14 minutes to wrap up is a waste of my time. I kept waiting for him to get to the point. I just lost 14 minutes of my life.

    The lip-licking, crotch-revealing pants-hiking, pacing, wife-bashing, self-promoting, smarmy manner is so opposite of the parables and illustrations given by our Savior it’s sickening.

    I just wanted someone to smack him in the back of the head, and tell him to stick to the GOSPEL.

  50. It sure was creepy the way he kept sticking his tongue out and waving it around, licking his lips like a billy goat.

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