255 thoughts on “Help Wanted”

    1. Doesn’t the KJV talk about a college under Elisha? Or a school of the prophets? I may be mis-remembering, though.

    2. What is Stevie-Boy’s attitude to Church buildings? They are not mentioned in the bible…

  2. whew, good luck with that. I’d suggest filling the pastorate position from within the ranks of the 6 member congregation.

    2. If there was someone qualified in the church then why would the church be looking for a Pastor if they could just appoint their own member?

    1. I do believe I am much, much, dumber for having read that drivel.

      Of course, that kind of crap is somewhat logical when you believe that the KJV itself is inspired.

    2. “The Blasphemy of Bible College.” *twitch* I can’t even make it past the title.

  5. I don’t qualify, unfortunately. I think the original text was inspired, and then preserved. I think the KJV is an excellent translation, but I don’t call any translation “inspired”.

    1. You might be interested to know that from an objective stand point, the KJV is not an excellent translation. The metric for “excellent” in translation can be difficult to pin down, but for those who believe in inerrancy, accuracy is a key component. The KJV is not true to the text in many places, and worse, Erasmus put his theological agenda first in compiling his critical text (which the KJV was translated from). The KJV is quite possibly the most beautiful English work ever written, but an excellent translation it is not.

  6. So, if you’re not married, you cannot pastor?

    If you’re married, but your wife cannot have children, then you cannot pastor?

    Hmph

  7. I don’t know why but I feel like I’ve GOT to see a picture of these pitiful people. I can’t imagine what someone would look like who would write such blarney. I’m wanting them to have 2 noses or one ear or a mouth in their foreheads or SOMETHING to make this ignorance a little understandable.

    2. Well if you really want to see what these people look like you can always find the church and attend.

      And what’s your fascination with physical deformities? Perhaps you watch to much of the sci-fi channel

  8. I’m sorry. If you don’t believe in Sand Script, then you’re clearly deceived by Satan. John 8:6. Checkmate.

    2. Yes you’re correct Jesus was playing Chess in the sand!

      And since you’re so smart you can tell everyone what Jesus wrote in the Sand!

      In checkers i call that a double jump!

    3. But he was in the Temple when this happened, and the floor is made of stone.

      Writing with a finger on stone – sounds familiar? Exodus ch18-ch20 🙂

      Jesus is basically saying “you want to condemn someone with your law. Well, I wrote it bud”.

  9. I am thinking this surely is a joke. Anyone with a brain would know that the King James Version is a translation approved by King James and that he changed things to fit his beliefs.

    Going back to the original texts is smart. Why would anyone think otherwise?

    LOL LOL LOL LOL

    2. What proof do you have that King James changed God’s word to fit his beliefs?
      Also how can you go back to the original texts unless you have thee original writing of John Moses, Nebuchadnezzar, Paul, David, Amos, Malachi, Isaiah, Habakkuk, Jeremiah, Nahum, etc……. And if you do have those copies how do you know they’re legit and not a translation that King James messed with.

      P.S. have you ever herd of FAITH? And no i do not mean the girl ho lives down the street from you.

      3. Why are we calling this poor girl named Faith a Ho? Maybe instead of name calling we should love her like Jesus did and not resort using discriminating terms. 😉

        2. I meant to say WHO the w button doesn’t work correctly on my computer i never meant to call a girl named Faith a ho. How can i call someone i do not even know a ho? I can’t and so yes there is a typo due to my poorly operating W button.

  10. Off-topic, sadly, but did anyone else catch the final question on Jeopardy tonight (2/13/12)?

    “In 2011 Queen Elizabeth II celebrated the 400th anniversary of this translation.”

    (There was more to it than that, but this is all I can remember. And given what kind of board this is, I know that’s all you folks need. :D)

  11. Classic! I think someone would have been better saving their classified fee and five years of heartache and taking the job himself. After all, he’s got the fire!

  12. this is just a train wreck waiting to happen. Only someone as narrow minded and uneducated as them will even bother…if they can find someone. Sounds like another fundy split trying to start their own “non-denominational” following. How sad for the women…something about how they were talking about women makes me want to apply.

  13. ‘We believe the King James bible is thee word of God in English. Modern “Translations” remove verses, words, and change the meaning of Gods word.’

    ‘We also believe the King James is the inspired word of God in English! We do not believe in going back to the Greek, Hebrew, Chaldean, Sand Script, Native American, Cave paintings, or Finger Paintings by children to “interpret” Gods word. God can speak English just fine and since he promised to preserve his word there is no need to go outside the English language to find it.’

    ~ So.. If God can speak English just fine and promised to preserve His word, Wouldn’t the Modern Translations be even more effective?? ~ They totally contradict themselves!!

    1. Modern versions contradict themselves! How can that be God’s Word?????

      God only said it one way, there can only be ONE God’s word. Therefore anything else is a lie because it is not God’s word. If the KJV is not God’s word then please show me where God’s word is. And if it’s not in English then God’s a moron.

      1. Wow! If its not in English, then God’s a moron???? I hope you read that and think about the absolute pride and absurdity that that comment shows. Incredible!

        You have fashioned God in your own image. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. 😥

      2. La palabra de Dios es claramente la versión Reina Valera, que fue traducida 60 años ANTES que la versión King James.

      3. If the King Jimmy doesn’t contradict itself why did Erasmus have footnotes? The issue is translation philosophies not contradiction. Does the Tesxtus Recetpis (spelling) perfectly translate into the King James? They don’t line up and even Erasmus admitted this in his preface to the King James. C’mon man, until you can prove that God’s word was perfectly preserved before 1611 your argument is straw man.

      4. “If the KJV is not God’s word then please show me where God’s word is. And if it’s not in English then God’s a moron.”

        That’s a rather irreverent statement about Elohim, isn’t it? You seem to deify the Bible and denigrate the very One who inspired Scripture and promised to preserve it.
        Regardless, there are some passages you would do well to study.
        Be of the same mind one toward another. Mind not high things, but condescend to men of low estate. Be not wise in your own conceits. Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:16-21 KJV)
        As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father’s commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:9-13 KJV)
        Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love. Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another. No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us. Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God, God dwelleth in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us. If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also. (1 John 4:7, 8, 11, 12, 15, 16, 18-21 KJV)

    2. The other question you have to ask yourself is can someone who is not reading the King James come to know salvation! If only the king James is God’s word how could anything else have the power to save and change lives? Apparently, non English speaking people are going to hell. Apparently, christians are going to hell in this country who use the NASB and apparently, Jesus who quoted the old testament in Hebrew is going to hell. This kind of thinking makes no sense and God will judge those who believe it.

  14. They are against ALL forms of dispensationalism? So they keep the sabbath day, and offer burnt sacrifices to atone for their sins?

    Apart from this being written so poorly that it’s offensive, these people wouldn’t know sound theology if it hit them in the face with the KING JAMES BIBLE. Typical of fundie land, ignorant, closed minded, emotional, irrelevant weirdos.

    2. Funny that you say the post is written poorly since you obviously didn’t read the whole thing. It’s made very clear that there was made some changes in the law, and the word dispensation is used only 4 times so why don’t you go first find then read the verses, and try to come back with some theology?

      By the way do you see the word Baptist anywhere on that post? Do you see the word Fundametalist anywhere on there? No! So where do you get the right to assume they’re Fundies?

      1. Fundies don’t just come in the Independent Baptist flavour. Fundies are told by their beliefs and their arrogance. That post is about fundies, whatever they call themselves.

      2. Do fundametalists wear long hair and worship to heavy rock?

        Also, more seriously, I’d say the law has not changed one iota, jot or tittle. Our relationship to it has, considering we are not under it at all, but under the grace of God which teaches us to say no to ungodliness. Unlike law, which just condemns us and teaches us to condemn others.

  16. So reading this my only question was where did these people come from!? Are they a small group who left a church or are they part of a knitting club?

  18. That whole bit about the King James Version sort of reminds me of a story I heard when I was in college. I had a friend who was an English major and who was taking a literature class that was taught by a professor who happened to also be an ordained minister. Once, when they were studying the Bible as a work of literature, the professor asked his students if they thought Adam and Eve were intelligent. One girl said that she thought they were. When the professor asked her why she thought that, she answered, “Well, they spoke English, right?” 😆

    1. Learn to read a map genius Hazelton is 40 minutes away from coal township, and you live North of there.

      If being arrested is grounds for dismissal of church leadership then i guess Peter got fired? Why don’t you tell everyone that YOU contacted this church to try to luer said individual into a phone conversation? Is lying still a sin or did they find the original texts where they say it’s okay? When the original texts aren’t even around anymore.

      1. Peter wasn’t arrested for assaulting a police officer while on suspicion of doing drugs he was arrested for proclaiming the Gospel. You my friend are not Paul.

        1. suspicion of doing drugs????? Could you show me that because It missed it? Did you ever think that maybe the report was false?? Did you know that there was a Bible in his hand when he was arrested and he wasn’t even in a car???

        2. Aggressive behavior towards police officers on a justified traffic stop is a strong indicator of drug or alcohol use, sir.

        3. Well here is the text from the report. I would say someone is not really following proper authority:

          Adam Bucher, 27, of 1471 Pulaski Ave., Coal Township, waived to court before Magisterial District Judge John Gembic III charges of aggravated assault, resisting arrest, obstructing the administration of the law, criminal mischief, carrying and exhibiting driver’s license on demand, maximum speed limits in established zones and operation of vehicle without official certificate of inspection.

          Bucher was charged by Coal Township Police Officer Edward Purcell Jr. after a routine traffic stop. Bucher was clocked driving 54 in a 40-mile-per-hour zone. When he was pulled over, he refused to produce identification and insisted Purcell prove he was an officer. Bucher was eventually arrested and taken to Coal Township Police Station where he allegedly pushed an officer in an aggressive manner before being placed in a cell.

        4. How was he doing 54 miles per hour in a 40 zone while he wasn’t in a car? Unless he was on a motorbike, in which case I don’t know how he had a bible in his hands.

          Unless he really was using speed, lol. (It’s a PUN. Get over it.)

        5. This may shock you but not ever police officer is honest…… some of them lie! I know this is the first you have heard of this but it’s true! Have you veiwed the video and audio of the arrest??? Yet you can say that drugs were involved even though the report says nothing about them, sound like you should be patrolling the streets looking for people to beat!

        6. Nobody said that drugs were involved. Somebody said that it was their belief that the police officer suspected he had drugs because his behaviour at the time of his arrest was specifically that that a police officer would have been taught to look out for, because it’s how drug users are known to act.

        7. I think the drug accusation is a bit far. I think Adam here was probably excited after seeing Steven Anderson tazered because it sounds like he acted the same way and was hoping to go down a martyr. Has anyone seen Anderson’s video where he refuses to cooperate and asks them to prove they are officers and all that stuff (yeah, drunk people do it too, but so do know it all libertarians). Sounds like the same thing happened here.

          Also, he was speeding, quite a lot as well, so it wasn’t really a routine traffic stop. His refusal to cooperate resulted in a charge, rather than just the ticket he would have received.

    2. Apparently, submission to government is a suggestion in scripture as are the Beatitudes.

    3. Number1of6 AKA Adam Bucher…. I emailed you about the position as a way to prove a point and maybe knock some sense into you, there was nothing dishonest about it. You obviously don’t have a spirit that lines up with the teachings of Christ. Matthew 5 vs 5 talks a bit about having a spirit of meekness or gentleness depending on your king Jimmy preference. You obviously do not have such a thing.

      1. To whom it may concerneth,
        My name is David Lanton and I am interested in learning more about the position you listed for a pastor. Is it possible that we can have a phone interview to speak so we can see if it would be worth our time to talk in person about this position?

        In Christ,

        David

        1. This is what we call a teaching moment Adam. I’m sorry you passed on the invitation.

        2. We can have this teaching moment here if you would like?

          Just one question for you to ponder. What did people have before 1611 that was the perfect preserved word of God? The vulgate was used for 1300 years and the same argument you use for preservation was used against Erasmus when he put the King Jimmy into existence. That whole argument for preservation seems to be rather silly. It’s philosophical not scriptural. I suggest just reading the preface to the King James. The authors knew it would need revision. Why do you believe it did not?

        3. As always, whenever you ask one of these people in a cult to defend their views you get ignored. Here is to hoping God does a miraculous thing and someone seeks wisdom.

        4. Agreed. Usually these Fundies are all emotion and no logic or information. When you prove them wrong they yell a lot, call you evil and leave.

          I know. I was one. Sad thing is this guy probably doing what he was trained to do.

        5. Adam, I really do pray for you and not in a condescending way. I pray God reveals his heart to the people in your church. I pray for God to do a great thing for you and your people and I pray with authority that his truth will be revealed to you. We all are on a journey and I am confident that God will reveal truth to you if you seek it diligently.

        6. What did Amos have before he wrote????? part of God’s word, just like in 1610….. they had part of His word in English. Besides, how do you know it was written in 1611, were you there? You have to believe that what history says is true so really your wasting time on these arguements. Now if someone wanted to help me they could have atleast have been honest enough to say so instead on lying about it! We made it very clear not to contact us if your were not interested in the position, so what does that say about you. Why does anyone care what we believe anyways??? If we are crazy then why would you be laughing at us??? Now if you want to be adults then here is what we can do….. Sunday 1pm you are invited to come and discuss this, are you up to it or will you run??

        7. Adam,
          Here is my email address Dlanton@darkershadesofbrown.com. Send me a line or give me your email address and I would be glad to come and talk to all of you about textual criticism and a good history lesson on how the different versions came to be. All I ask for in return is one “slamming” pot luck dinner

          Daniel

        8. Daniel, I would love to drop you an Email, or just read your blog if you would post it. Sounds like good stuff. Let me know. Thanks.

          Check me out at juanthebaptist.wordpress.com

          If your interested. 🙂

        9. Juan, I’m sorry that was directed at number1of6 aka Adam Bucher. I’m actually not a theologian. My blog is http://www.darkershadesofbrown.com/blog... I’m a photographer and recovering fundy. I just live close to the this guy who wrote this post looking for a pastor and want to help where I can.

        10. Adam,

          The following is the preface to the King James 1611. I would really love to know how you feel this version is the perfectly preserved word of God when even the authors did not think it was? I really would like an explanation from you.

          Forgive the format as it was a copy and paste from LOGOS.

          THE PURPOSE OF THE TRANSLATORS, WITH THEIR NUMBER, FURNITURE,
          CARE, ETC.
          But it is high time to leave them, and to show in brief what we proposed to ourselves, and what course
          we held in this our perusal and survey of the Bible. Truly (good Christian Reader) we never thought
          from the beginning, that we should need to make a new Translation, nor yet to make of a bad one a good
          one, (for then the imputation of Sixtus had been true in some sort, that our people had been fed with gall
          of Dragons instead of wine, with whey instead of milk:) but to make a good one better, or out of many
          good ones, one principal good one, not justly to be excepted against; that hath been our endeavor, that
          our mark. To that purpose there were many chosen, that were greater in other men’s eyes than in their
          own, and that sought the truth rather than their own praise. Again, they came or were thought to come to
          the work, not exercendi causa (as one saith) but exercitati, that is, learned, not to learn: For the chief
          overseer and [NOTE: Greek letters omitted] under his Majesty, to whom not only we, but also our whole
          Church was much bound, knew by his wisdom, which thing also Nazianzen taught so long ago, that it is
          a preposterous order to teach first and to learn after, yea that [NOTE: Greek letters omitted] to learn and
          practice together, is neither commendable for the workman, nor safe for the work. [Idem in Apologet.]
          Therefore such were thought upon, as could say modestly with Saint Jerome, Et Hebreaeum Sermonem
          ex parte didicimus, et in Latino pene ab ipsis incunabulis etc. detriti sumus. “Both we have learned the
          Hebrew tongue in part, and in the Latin we have been exercised almost from our very cradle.” S. Jerome
          maketh no mention of the Greek tongue, wherein yet he did excel, because he translated not the old
          Testament out of Greek, but out of Hebrew. And in what sort did these assemble? In the trust of their
          own knowledge, or of their sharpness of wit, or deepness of judgment, as it were in an arm of flesh? At
          no hand. They trusted in him that hath the key of David, opening and no man shutting; they prayed to
          the Lord the Father of our Lord, to the effect that S. Augustine did; “O let thy Scriptures be my pure
          delight, let me not be deceived in them, neither let me deceive by them.” [S. Aug. lib. II. Confess. cap.
          2.] In this confidence, and with this devotion did they assemble together; not too many, lest one should
          trouble another; and yet many, lest many things haply might escape them. If you ask what they had
          before them, truly it was the Hebrew text of the Old Testament, the Greek of the New. These are the two
          golden pipes, or rather conduits, where-through the olive branches empty themselves into the gold. Saint
          Augustine calleth them precedent, or original tongues; [S. August. 3. de doctr. c. 3. etc.] Saint Jerome,
          fountains. [S. Jerome. ad Suniam et Fretel.] The same Saint Jerome affirmeth, [S. Jerome. ad Lucinium,
          Dist. 9 ut veterum.] and Gratian hath not spared to put it into his Decree, That “as the credit of the old
          Books” (he meaneth of the Old Testament) “is to be tried by the Hebrew Volumes, so of the New by the
          Greek tongue,” he meaneth by the original Greek. If truth be tried by these tongues, then whence should
          a Translation be made, but out of them? These tongues therefore, the Scriptures we say in those tongues,
          we set before us to translate, being the tongues wherein God was pleased to speak to his Church by the
          Prophets and Apostles. Neither did we run over the work with that posting haste that the Septuagint did,
          if that be true which is reported of them, that they finished it in 72 days; [Joseph. Antiq. lib. 12.] neither
          were we barred or hindered from going over it again, having once done it, like S. Jerome, if that be true
          which himself reporteth, that he could no sooner write anything, but presently it was caught from him,
          and published, and he could not have leave to mend it: [S. Jerome. ad Pammac. pro libr. advers.
          Iovinian.] neither, to be short, were we the first that fell in hand with translating the Scripture into
          English, and consequently destitute of former helps, as it is written of Origen, that he was the first in a
          manner, that put his hand to write Commentaries upon the Scriptures, [Sophoc. in Elect.] and therefore
          no marvel, if he overshot himself many times. None of these things: the work hath not been huddled up
          in 72 days, but hath cost the workmen, as light as it seemeth, the pains of twice seven times seventy two
          days and more: matters of such weight and consequence are to be speeded with maturity: for in a
          business of movement a man feareth not the blame of convenient slackness. [S. Chrysost. in II. Thess.
          cap. 2.] Neither did we think much to consult the Translators or Commentators, Chaldee, Hebrew,
          Syrian, Greek or Latin, no nor the Spanish, French, Italian, or Dutch; neither did we disdain to revise that which we had done, and to bring back to the anvil that which we had hammered: but having and
          using as great helps as were needful, and fearing no reproach for slowness, nor coveting praise for
          expedition, we have at length, through the good hand of the Lord upon us, brought the work to that pass
          that you see.

        11. First of all you have the address and you only live “30 minuets away” so you will have no problem being here!! Secondly I’m not sure what would make you think I would believe anything you say since you responded to a add that CLEARLY said not to contact us unless you were serious about the position. You must be very stupid, arrogant, or just care only about what you want and thus have no respect for others. You were deceitful in your first contact with us and still will not admit it. Also there is nothing you could teach us that we don’t already know. I have studied the subject for years, read more then enough, and have spent countless hours on seminars involving ” textual criticism ” and at the end found it to be man’s wisdom. You have no proof that the history you believe to be true is true, nor do I!! Simply put we must all live by faith and not by sight. Now if you are not man enough to face the church you are bashing then drop it. You can offer all the help you want but it is worthless!! There is one thing you could do that would be of value. Why don’t you come with us for a day and give the gospel to people who need to hear it! I’m sure you would have no problem opening your mouth and preaching the gospel…….. now if you’ve never gone soul winning that’s fine, everyone starts out as a silent partner. There is nothing more exciting then to see someone get saved, you in???

        12. I have no problem coming down and helping your house church come to an understanding of a biblical view of preservation, but based on the variety of doctrinal fallacies written within your job posting I’m not sure you are a believer. Not for me to judge, but I am called to separate from a Gospel that is false and it seems there are many false doctrines going on here in addition to the one we have been talking about. “Soul winning” is an interesting term and it comes loaded with a variety of things I have issue with if the Gospel you adhere to is being fairly represented by your job listing. As for emailing you in regards to the position I don’t feel it was wrong if my intent was to start a dialoge with someone who holds to false doctrine.

          Let’s continue this discussion:

          You do know the textus receptus is a critical text correct? The King James is based on the TR. I’m pretty confident we can solve some of your issues on preservation just by talking here. Instead of getting angry why not have an intelligent discussion on a doctrine you so passionately believe in? I would love to discuss this proof that you believe anyone with an understanding of church history does not have.

          One ounce of truth is worth a pound of presumption.

        13. You would rather talk about history then give the gospel……. what else is there to say!!! Keep your worldly knowledge I have better things to do!

        14. Adam,
          I can’t go “soul winning” with someone who ignores one of the first things Jesus ever said:

          Matthew 4 From that time Jesus began to preach and say, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.”

          I may call a person a brother who disagrees with how the “Kingdom” is defined, but not someone who denies the necessity of repentance. Matthew 5 is all about repentance, as not one man can perfectly follow the teachings that Christ taught within the Beatitudes. If Matthew 5 doesn’t put you on your knees in prayer for how we don’t measure up I’m afraid the Gospel you teach is a false one.

        15. I have no doubt that you need a pastor to help you work through some of these things and I ask you to consider the first teaching of Christ in his ministry. Take a look at your post on jobfinder again. Measure it up with what Christ taught. and think about his teachings in regards to your post.

          Beatitude One: These have experienced poverty of spirit (the recognition that there is nothing within them to commend them to God). In fact, it remains their ongoing awareness and as such is the ground for ongoing spiritual blessing.


          Beatitude Two: These have come face to face with their own sin, and they mourn over it.

          
Beatitude Three: Due to the authenticity of their poverty of spirit and mourning, these experience gentle ness and humility in dealing with others.


          Beatitude Four: Because these have experienced poverty of spirit and mourning and meekness, they hunger and thirst for all righteousness.


          Beatitude Five: The reality of their own need has made these merciful to others.


          Beatitude Six: These have been cleansed by the blood of Christ, and their pure lives are focused on him, and thus they are blessed with an ongoing vision of God.

          
Beatitude Seven: And now these, having been so infused by Christ’s peace and the character of the kingdom, are peacemakers

          I’m confident if you work these first few beatitudes into your prayer life you will se a great thing happen in your life.

      2. Juan, I agree with you 100%, it’s just so difficult to not rebuke them on every opportunity that comes our way. Think of all the victims of such a ministry. Jesus was quick to call us to be peacemakers, but he was also quick to defend the persecuted. The harm a ministry like this does to the impending Kingdom is difficult for me to ignore. Every now and then I just feel like I should mourn for these people more. I typically judge and don’t mourn…. It’s easier.

    1. Maybe he means Sanskrit. But aren’t the Vedas written in Sanskrit and not the Bible?!!! 😯

    2. This may shock you but not ever police officer is honest…… some of them lie! I know this is the first you have heard of this but it’s true! Have you veiwed the video and audio of the arrest??? Yet you can say that drugs were involved even though the report says nothing about them, sound like you should be patrolling the streets looking for people to beat!

      1. As usual, emotion and anger trumps pretty much everything else. This is quite humorous.

  21. Interesting thought; These people telling their followers about the evils of college, education, etc., keeps the people from ever learning enough to recognize the quackery/insanity/cultishness of their leaders.

    1. How could the leaders brainwash someone if their aren’t any leaders? Have you been there and know something i don’t?

  22. WOW! What utter nonsense! Wonder what all the people in Heaven who were saved through tracts & observing the Lord in their friends’ lives would say to this man!

  23. @Number1of6

    Few things…
    1. You must admit that this job description was not very thought out because of the many run-on sentences, poor grammar and poor spelling.
    2. You must admit that you are going to get no where by attacking each and every person who comments on this article, especially given the sight that it was posted to! The whole purpose of this sight is to poke fun at churches like this one (your church I am assuming). Therefore you are going to get no where with anyone here. As a matter of fact, you are going to just give credence to your attackers.
    3. Rather than continue to “troll” this site, you may just want to post this job description (preferably one that has been edited better than this one) to another pastoral search webpage. You are sincerely hurting the testimony of your church and if these exchanges are seen by potential candidates, you will probably be searching for a pastor for a long time.

    I want to reiterate the fact that I do disagree with almost everything you have listed here.
    1. I believe it is foolish to desire a candidate without an education. That would be like saying I want a self-taught cardiologist giving me open heart surgery.
    2. I disagree with your stance on the KJV. This is just another testament to the fact that you need someone behind your pulpit who has an education. You have not been able to answer any of the questions posed to you at all on this blog in an adequate and informed many. Thus the reason people are making fun of you.
    3. The idea that repentance is not need for salvation is simply ludicrous. Just in the book of Acts you have so many examples of the Apostles commanding people to repent and believe in Christ (See Acts 2:38. 3:19; 5:31 11:18 ; 17:30; 19:4 etc). On top of that Christ Himself states ” I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance” Luke 5:32 (plus many more).

    I could continue, but I just want you to understand that what you are defending is dangerous and HOW you are defending it is dangerous. Just let it go. I pray that God might soften your heart and that perhaps you might see the errors of both the false doctrines represented in this job description and the sinful practice (angry, wrathful comments etc.) that flows from that poor doctrine. God help you.

  25. First of all it’s not my husbands grammar you should be ripping on. The e-mail sent and the job listing is my grammar. Also apparently you do not know grammar yourself or else you would realize there really is nothing wrong with the job posting. Yeah i may be missing a comma or two big whoop, and yes i missed a w in the e-mail sent. You want to know why? The w button doesn’t work properly, and the reason i didn’t use proper grammar in the e-mail to begin with is because it’s 11:30 at night and i was tired. Now if my grammar is so absolutly horrible then answer this… Why do i have a bunch of awards for academic excellence, and all of this other junk from when i was in PUBLIC SCHOOL!!! We never said we were against Public Education we just said we’re against bible college. Now Yes i will homeschool our children when we have children to be homeschooled. However we never said we were against public education. And while we’re going at my grammar if it’s so horrible then why do i have 16 awards for how great i was academically. Surely grammar does not descend that much in the 2 years i have been out of highschool. Or the one year i’ve been out of college for after getting A’s in my English/Writing courses.
    These awards are just from my senior year in High School!
    Certificate of Excellence (From the School itself)
    NYS Regents High School Diploma
    Binghamton High School Diploma (With a seal that says Honor Grad, and Successful completion of Regents examination)
    Schools to Careers Outstanding Student Award (From the State Senate)
    Special congressional Recogniton (From The House Of Representatives)
    2010 Partnership for Excellence Award (From the Binghamton Mayor)
    National Technical Honor Society (This is for Outstanding character and Achievment)
    New York state assembly Certificate of Merit Outstanding schools to Careers Student
    Certificate of Achievement (From the school i attended)
    Certificate of Achievement for Outstanding Performance (From the Teachers Association)
    Certificate Recognition(From Schools to careers Partnership through the Broome-Tioga boces where i took a two year course for Early Childhood Education)
    The national Society of High School Scholars (this is for getting good grades in High Schol )
    I also have a Certificate for Perfect Attendance
    BOCES Career and Technical Education Scholarship (Apparently they give you money when you have bad grammar considering i had to write the winning essay in order to get this Scholarship)
    2010 certificate of Excellence with National Recogniton (From the National Technical Honor Society and Broome Tioga Boces)
    I also had the Highest NOCTI Test scores for Early Childhood Education not only out of my class, but out of all of the classes taking Early Childhood Education
    Oh and i saved the best for last. Since i’m so grammatically incorrect Barack Obama decided to give me an Award for Outstanding Academic Excellence. Which also came with a letter and a pin.

    Yeah i’m human and i have some typo’s but gramatically incorrect i am not.

    2. I understand that you are hurt, but you’re not helping yourself. Neither of you are. It’s similar to a person who can’t hear pitch and a person who can trying to discuss pitch. If all of this hasn’t made you take a tiny second to reflect inward, then maybe your husband shouldn’t keep coming back over and over again. And I worry about you, with a husband that has such a temper. I hope you are safe. There are a lot of us here that have left toxic houses, toxic husbands, toxic churches.

      1. You’re saying a man who you do not know has a temper. My husband does hit me or others (No matter what police reports say) All he ever would do is defend himself. My husband is not “Toxic” and you have no right to say he is. You no when reading text emotion can be misconstrued, and if no body wanted us to post, then maybe they shouldn’t have told us about the website or the posting, because we knew nothing about it until an e-mail from one of your own yesterday.

        We will defend ourselves because we have every right to do so. And you sit there and say we’re ignorant, mean, and rude read some of the comments you guys post! Pot calling the kettle black much?

        And yes my shift works fine, however sometimes i do let go of it before hitting the letter i need to.

        1. If Obama is passing out awards to people who don’t “no” the difference between no and know I may vote Republican for the next 40 years. Number1of6wife, while your screen name here is one of the many things i find funny about your last statement I am concerned for you. Your husband should not be hitting you and if you have police reports saying that he is doing such a thing God will not be angry for you leaving him in an effort to reconcile.

        3. Also, why did you submit an advertisement to a website when your advertisement was clearly against that website’s terms and conditions?

        4. I assume your second sentence meant to say *doesn’t rather than *does. (as in “my husband *doesn’t* hit me) It makes more sense that way, and I can’t imagine you would come on here and tell us that unless you are looking for someone to help you. If I am wrong and you meant to say what you said, I really want to help you. Please go to the forums and send me a private message if that is the case. I will help you in whatever way I can. 🙂

        6. You’re young, so maybe you don’t realize this, but saying “my husband doesn’t hit me, no matter what the police say” is the same as telling people that your husband hits you. And why shouldn’t we believe that? Your husband assaults police officers, too. He’s clearly a man who’s using the Bible to cover for his lack of self-control.

          The saddest thing here, though, is that you’re obviously an intelligent person. Grammar issues or no, you worked hard to win those awards and you’re justifiably proud of them. So why do you not believe you can have a relationship with God, and a place in the world, except through someone else? Don’t you think that YOUR understanding of Scripture is as good as anyone else’s? Don’t you think you might have insights into God’s Word that might be helpful to others, including men? Your husband is looking for someone to teach you about the Bible, but doesn’t require that person to have any training whatsoever. The person who becomes your pastor might not have done well in high school, or finished high school at all. If education was part of God’s plan for your life, shouldn’t it be part of His plan for pastors?

    3. Barack Obama gave you a pin for academic excellence when you were in high school? What are you, 20? 21?

      Time to grow up into an adult now and stop insulting everyone.

      Also, it kind of defeats your point when you constantly use lowercase i while talking about how great you are at being grammatically correct.

    4. Ok, SFLers, I just read through the awards listed by Number1of6Wife. For those of you not living in NYS, BOCES is an acronym for Board of Community Educational Services; they offer trade-based classes. So basically, if you’re not going to make it in academia, you are funneled to BOCES so you learn trade skills and don’t wind up flipping burgers.

      1. I didn’t read all the “awards” section. I assume a number of them are completely fake. Am still assuming it’s a bogus commenter, and a very good one at that.

  26. People, people, people. All this troll-feeding here. Have we learned nothing since Troll-fest 2012?

  27. Alright…if Mrs. 1 of 6 is only two years out of high school, then let’s just chalk this up to the phenomena of “educated ignorance” and being in your early twenties and thinking you know everything. Most of us were there at some point, still am today on some issues.

    There are plenty of PhD’s with no common sense and plenty of folks with street smarts and high IQ points who can’t spell to save their lives. Awards and diplomas are only as strong as the people writing the emails and citing those awards.

    Ma’am, you have academic achievement awards because you must have earned them by the standards of those adjudicating you, so congratulations, this in no way means that you posses academically sound grammar, as your post shows.

    Also, if the quality of your writing fails when you are tired, maturity and common sense would dictate that you revise in the morning when you have your wits about you.

    And regardless of any argument you and your husband make “thee” is not a proper substitute for “the”–ever.

    I hope I’m not troll feeding here…not my intention. Best of luck finding your pastor anyway, I pray that God leads a man to you who will lead your church in God’s direction and not get caught up in the peripheral issues that seem prevalent in your church.

    Glad my congregation doesn’t ask all of this of me, we might not ever see a person come to Christ for all that clutter.

  29. With everything worked out so neatly, why on earth do you need a pastor? Just to fulfill the requirement?

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