88 thoughts on “White Piano Sighting!!”

      1. I can’t sew worth beans, but I can play you a paean of victory on the white piano!

      1. Not very appropriate for me to get the first on this topic, all of my IFB churches had brown pianos! Never saw a white one in my life. 😕

  3. I would comment more, but I am currently in deep mourning for the Phillies. My one consolation: the Yankees are OUT OF IT, too. 👿

    1. That was a heck of a game last night, wasn’t it? I was nervous every time the Phils came to bat. Some of the sports talk-radio buffoons in StL were saying Carpenter was washed up earlier in the year.

    2. As an irritated Braves fan (how do you blow a wild-card lead that badly?) I cannot commiserate with you. With the Phillies and Yankees out, however, it is a happier day.

      [Yes, this is off-topic. I know.]

    3. My husband told me about the Phillies last night, I’m sorry since they should’ve won. I’m glad the Tigers (my team) beat the yankees, I’ve always hated the yankees so that victory feels real good. I hope the Tigers can avoid humiliating themselves in the world series like they did in 2006. :mrgreen:

  4. I’m wondering if this church is on the BJU-approved list or not.

    Transgressions according to MY circles:
    1. Raising of hands
    2. Men not in suits (is the guy in the back row in a hoodie?)
    3. Longish hair on some men
    4. Was that a guitar being played?

    The women, interestingly, are more reserved than the men.

    2. One white piano would have been great, but two white pianos on the same platform makes this video heavenly. I rate it an 11 out of 1-10. 😀

  6. The white piano used to belong to Liberace. He gave it to the church after Jack Hyles led him to the Lord on an escalator. At least that’s what I heard.

    1. Well, I heard that, too, except I heard that then Liberace repented of his non-fundy ways, and is still alive and living in seclusion, with Jack Hyles AND Elvis. All are now fundies. In an igloo. On the frozen tundra.

        2. Wearing tinfoil hats and avoiding flouridated water. (And planning to take over the world!)

      2. Elvis lives in Pigeon Forge. I saw him there with my church group at the Ponderosa Buffet where the manager asked me and another adult in the group for a pole dance. Elvis was eating a couple tables away.

        1. Poor old guy! (Elvis, not the nasty manager.) Imagine his life: stuck with Liberace and Jack Hyles in Pigeon Forge… Bet he misses Graceland.

        2. Elvis was with your church group? Well, maybe old Jackie-boy was telling the truth about his time in the elevator. Good for him!!! 😀

        3. It is easier for me to believe that Elvis was with her church group, than that JH told the truth. Ever.

  7. Why two pianos? I suppose this could be in an area like mine were the piano is considered a (the) holy instrument?

  8. Is it the sound quality or could that piano do with tuning? Badly. Nearly as badly as the choir.

    And for a song called “Oh Happy Day” they aren’t half miserable!.

  13. And the sad thing is that they all pride themselves in “traditional” worship when they couldn’t genuflect to save their lives…

  16. ok, I’ve seen enough references to white pianos to know that they are a staple of fundie churches, but I never knew why. Someone please explain this one to me.

    1. No one KNOWS why, because one must never, ever, question the managawd. I am not even sure who the original managawd who declared white pianos righteous WAS. 😯

    3. White pianos used to be popular in clubs. They have fallen out of popularity in those venues. Most music stores who have white pianos want to get them out of their inventory and so they discount the price rather heavily.

      My theory is that most of the churches that have them are buying price over function. Some may be buying them to fit with their decor, but then have you noticed most of their decorating tastes?

      1. So… you are saying that the managawd who first proclaimed white pianos to be righteous, was actually swayed by filthy lucre? NOOOOOOO! 🙄

  19. WoW! I had no idea the white piano was the holy grail. My daughter’s deeply gothardized ex-friend had a white baby grand in her living room. The girls played it together often until her parents decided that my daughter was a bad influence.

    1. … which is a blessing, since you describe them as “deeply gothardized.” Creepy.

    2. Funny you should mention that. I have (had) a friend who is becoming more and more “Gothardized” and the more out of the mainstream she becomes, the more she sees MY kids as a threat to hers. And in all honesty… Her kids are NOT good kids. They are overdisciplined and sneaky and difficult to be around. (Whereas MY kids are obviously perfect.) But anyway, she told me that because I let my son go to the youth activities at (our) church he was too “worldly” and I should make him stay home. 🙄

  20. That was frightening. I don’t know what was worse- the clanking piano or the yelling/singing. I couldn’t make it through a whole minute. I fault the choir director for not teaching them to sing with a better vocal quality than that. Bleh!!

    1. Um, you are assuming some sort of musical know- how on the part of the choir director…. 🙄

  21. Wow… I think my ears are actually bleeding. If anyone needs me I’ll be washing my ears out with some TobyMac or Mandisa. Heck, I might even spring for some Southern Gospel at this point.

    Why is it that the WORSE a choir sounds, the LOUDER they are. As if the loudness will some how cover up of horror.
    Even the white pianos couldn’t save this song.

    1. Honky-tonk gospel arrangement — tacky
      Inordinately loud choir in which every voice seems to want to outperform every other voice — tackier
      White piano — tackiest.

      ‘Nuff said. I could only stand about twenty seconds of it.

  22. The word praise means “to shoot out the hand”. Most fundys dont know a thing about bjblical lraise and true spiritual worship. SAD.

    1. In what way does the word praise mean “to shoot out the hand?” I’m sorry — I’ve never heard that before.

      1. That is in the King James/Hyles Bible. Where you take a word and re-translate it to “read better.” You can make it say anything you want it to that way.

  24. Where’d the pianist learn to play, a saloon? I half expected John Wayne to stroll through the swinging doors.

  25. Fundy-land has changed since my days in the joint. There’s a lot more facial hair in this video than would ever have been approved back then. I’d say it’s just a sign of the changing times, but we all know fundy-land NEVER changes with the times…

      1. This question sounds like it’s from someone who didn’t sit under countless hours of preaching in church and Christian school on hair!

    3. I believe it is more accepted these days especially in IFB bunkers that are radical dispy. It is a show of solidarity (à la John Hege/Tim LeHaye) with religious Israel.

    1. I was going to read all the comments and then write “I don’t believe it, it has to be shopped.” HA!! I’m staying with “there is no white piano.” Stop trying to lead us astray, Darrell.

  27. Was the bango or guitar, whatever it was, just for looks? Sure couldn’t hear it over the dueling pianos.

    1. Was the misspelling of “banjo” on purpose? As in they “bang” it (as opposed to playing?) 😉

    2. Would guess the recording was taking the house sound feed – – have heard *waaay* too many radio programs where that was done – on those all you could hear was the piano and the (off-tune) “song-leader”

    3. It was an electric bass guitar so it was just playing the low notes. Although it’s audible the speaker was not well miked. It didn’t really cut through the mix.

  28. Now THAT is a glorious piano! I have seen very few of those fine instruments, but they are magnificent. That church has an unusually high level of sanctification, even for the group of churches that I service. Well done, sir. Well done.

    J. A. Jones

  30. Did they have big plastic plants or a modesty-curtain to shield the pianists’ knees from wandering eyes?

    1. Oh, sweet chocolate…that’s why there were always tacky plants or a weird half-curtain by the piano? 😯

      As a former church pianist, I feel so dirty, now. 😳

  31. I see white people (and pianos). 🙂

    Also, I’m happy this video was on vimeo so I can actually see it. Most of the videos I can only read the comments because youtube is blocked here at work.

  32. I doubt that BJU would approve this church for it’s people. This church enjoys its Christianity too much! It’s too different from the somber, organ-dirge atmosphere at BJ.

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