A certain subset of fundamentalist preachers have discovered twitter and proceeded to use it as a platform for mutual self-congratulatory behavior. It usually looks something like this…
And so on and so forth. It’s really cute to watch them flirt.
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First with a Nook!
So, you’re using a device marketed as an “e-reader”, (meant for reading) to leave some internet comments regarding the [i]Brave New World[/i]-like Twitter.
Interesting.
(I’m aware that the Internet is accessible from a Nook.)
The Nook was easier to take with her while she sat on the pot.
You win the kewpie doll.
Unlike the Sears catalog however, it cannot be used in certain ’emergencies’.
Not absorbent enough (not that I’ve tried it for that, but it’s a pretty safe guess).
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/10/14/mobiles_covered_in_e_coli/
Word to the wise
So many SFL illustrations in these tweets, so little time!
You and I must have posted at the same time, boymom. My page got hung up. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
Second! a-men?
Tell me these tweets aren’t for real.
I made these up but they’re pretty darn close.
Aw man! I was hoping it was real. I got POE’d.
I was just about to SCREAM, “YOU MADE THESE UP!” Thank you. I know, I know, I KNOW they can be truly nauseating in their conceit, but when I got to the one about waving the hankie, I thought, No. Darrell did this. π―
I was like, “this for reals?!” I’ve seen a lot of Tweets but none like this. Usually the fundies post KJV verses and alliterated Tweets.
The telling thing is that we all considered the possibility that they are real.
You forgot the obligatory “we’re using the devil’s technology to glorify the Lawd, Haymen” tweet. Or is that coming up next?
aparrently I wasn’t second after all…
One tweet sez “WHEEEEE! I feel like a fat kid in a room full of ice-cream sundays.” I bet thats a fundie attempt at subtle humor. I’ll also bet that the tweeter also looks and acts that way.
I lost it at ‘stirred the grits and dumped out the cornbread’.
I took a Schaap and wiped my Hyles. π―
That sentence actually fits.
I’ve done that!
This made me lose it. π
Now that fish’ll puke. π π
Surprising how appropriate the word “dump” is in those circumstances.
I will second that!
Skubalon, indeed!
I had to look up this word:
http://bible.org/article/brief-word-study-font-facegreekskuvbalonfont
… And Josh, D.P., walks off with the award for Most Erudite Potty-Mouth.
Which makes him Josh, D.P., MEPM. π
“Full of fantastic Fundamental prhasology fit for facetious fans of the phoney faith flowing from our fundie fathers.”
That’s just all F’d up.
Someone ate his Wheaties this morning. π
I can FEEL it, brother!
ummm … can you say ‘Man crush’? I hope the message was “Helping fix teh Homo’s”
THIS is HILARIOUS! π π π
hay.. Hay… HAYMEN!
Ghesuntheit π
Love this:
Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
Oliver Goldsmith
Amen to that. π
w00t!
I was completely fooled until the grits and cornbread comment, when I thought, “Nah, no one talks that way.” Right? I hope? I mean, I’ve been in some Riotous Revival churches and I’ve seen the hanky waving and on occasion people standing up and pointing and shouting at (or maybe towards) the preacher, but I’ve never heard “grits and cornbread.”
Have you heard “Collard Greens and Cornbread?”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asV1sGREA3s
Woah. I’ve never seen a youtube link show up in the comments like that. Sorry, DD.
Apparently this is a new thing the comments are doing.
Who knew?
I did it yesterday!!! (Just in case this is a case of being FIRST I wanted to announce it.)
Maybe the Russian hackers did it.
I had a hard time paying attention to the song because I was distracted by that object stuck to the back-up singer’s head. What is that? It’s too large to be a barrette and too small to be a hat. It looks sort of like a red fish resting on top of her head. But why?
1611 or Die? It’s sad that there really are people who would die for the version of Bible they carry, but are ignorant of the teachings of the red letters contained in that book.
If you read the comment section, all the tweets in this post are fake.
You had me at 1611orDIE…
Actually, I could totally see an X’er having a twitter username like that.
Those are the most fundie twitter handles ever. KJVREVIVAL? What does that even mean?
“altar” vs. “alter”. Look it up, Fundies! π
I have to admit, I was about to go follow these dudes on twitter! However, my heart was disappointed to find out that these fundy friends were just imaginary figures of fundyland!
Sometimes impossible to tell….
OMG. that’s what happens when social media falls into the hyper-fundy’s hands. disturbing stuff, Darrell.
Oh, but some of the real ones are just as amusing. Arrogantly building up their best preacher buddy friends while spewing hate and vitriol at others. Bashing deep theological issues in 140 characters seems to be the new fundy way. The one Darrell re-tweeted yesterday was great. The person is praying for The Sword of the Lord to become available on Kindle and no, it’s not made up.
Praying?
Wouldn’t it be more efficacious to just ask the SOTL publishers to do it?
… Wait a minute, why am I trying to help these guys? π―
hilarious. You guys are killing me!
I almost regurgitated my breakfast smoothie after reading that. Which would’ve been sad–it was a very good smoothie.
I would love to see some real ones for comparison!
Ugh. reminds me of your recent tweet. What kind of arrogant jerk takes a PHOTO of a family “at altar” and then twitpics it for the whole world to see?
John N Hamblin does
http://bereansgf.org/knutson/2009/10/spineless-blobs/
Although this guy doesn’t have a twitter account, his blog is a real gem. In this post “Spineless Blobs” He refers to Heb 4:12 as an excuse to be hateful with the “truth”. It gets better the more you read π
I should not be the one to pick on spelling or punctuation, but there is something amiss in the the last sentence. It says “watch then flirt”. Who am I to flirt with after watching? π
It’s fixed now. But I’m sure it would also be cute to watch, then flirt.
I was totally buying this; the “grits and cornbread” made me doubt a little and then the hanky waving seemed way over the top . . . too funny, Darrell.
“Itβs really cute to watch them flirt” made me laugh out loud. π
I have to say, this reminds me of how conversation always went during the “post-soulwinning” taco bell dinners. And we were in elementary school. They teach ’em young…
SFL: Post soul-winning Taco Bell dinners. McDonalds too. With the crazy schedule fundies keep it is a wonder fundy women have time to cook at all.
Found an amazing guy to follow! http://twitter.com/#!/GuyBeaumont
My favorite tweet is:
“@GuyBeaumont
@johnsonholly Don’t feel badly. Many don’t. Most Calvinists don’t tell people what they really believe b/c they know it’s wrong.”
Hilarity!! π
Without a doubt he is one of the best to follow. Simply a lap dog to Mendez and Hamblin and his hate level for anyone who slightly disagrees with him just sings of the love of Christ.
Without a doubt he is one of the best to follow. Simply a lap dog to Mendez and Hamblin and his hate level for anyone who slightly disagrees with him just sings of the love of Christ.
Hardly a comment worthy of double posting. Doh!
I’d never heard of him. He seems to be close with a church that I didn’t think was that steeped in the “notwork”. Guess I was wrong.
I’ve never heard of the man, either, but have seen a few of his posts.
“My 9 yr old son is fasting!! LOVE IT!! He said he wants revival and to see God work in his lifetime! Come on!!”
OK, that’s going to make my brain hurt for the rest of the day. I may have to go watch “Jersey Shore” to kill off the brain cells storing my memory of that tweet. π
Yeah, I read that one too. I doubt any doctor in the nation would encourage a child to skip a meal… Poor little guy probably knows daddy’s love it merit-based and is trying to earn his love. But that’s just an educated guess. π
A book commits suicide every time you watch Jersey Shore.
Google thaT, to see the picture, π
And thanks, DD.
Darrell had me completely fooled — all of these seemed realistic.
I always wondered what a fundy circle-jerk would look like…
HA HA HA! WIN!
PS you could’ve hung out in my dorm room 2 nights a week my freshman year when my roommate & suite mate would practice their preacherboys sermons for the next day. Tons & tons of self congratulations & in kind congratulations going on then! π
“Stirred up the grits and dumped the cornbread”?
I plan to say that at least daily for one week.
I’m so confused right now all I can manage is a bwah?
So who’s gunna own up to the new twitter name @KJV1611orDIE ???? Newly created the day this post was written – coincidence??? I think not π
….wasn’t me, wish it was π
As long as they are catching up technologically why not go one step further and try SPELL CHECK? β