Websites

FWOTW: evangelistjohnnhamblin.com

197 Comments

**Music Autoplay Warning**

This site is the epitome of a fundamentalist managawds altar to himself. John’s favorite pictures mostly feature…John. John and a regular rogues gallery of fundies including the infamous hatemonger and racist Phil Kidd. Don’t miss the picture of John and his wife being taken to dinner in a stretch Hummer. How humble can you get?

But the self-love doesn’t end there. There’s an ALL CAPS BIO and the poem that someone wrote him to celebrate 30 years of his ministry. And he even lists himself among his favorite quotes.

And his preaching style? Well, judge for yourself…

197 thoughts on “FWOTW: evangelistjohnnhamblin.com”

  2. Ugh ugh and ugh. I believe he studies old Curtis Hutson videos. Ugh. More coffee over here please. I need to wash a disgusting taste out of my mouth. 😕

  3. Under the “Photo Gallery” tab: “Dr. Hamblin preaching under the tent using Evangelist Oliver B. Greene’s personal Bible.” Bible worship, yech.

      1. “Evangelist Dr. John Hambone preaching under the big tent using evangelist Dr. John Hambone’s personal Bible.” 😆

    2. The one that made me say “yech” was the “Sons of Thunder” one. Not sure why, but that just caught my disgust.

  4. I didn’t see anything wrong with his preaching. The story about midget wrestlers was funny.

      1. Hey if it makes you feel any better tell a few redneck and hillbilly jokes about me. I’ll laugh along with you. People are to sensitive these days.

        1. That, OR fundies are just callous to all the racism, homophobia, and picking on anyone with any slight differences.

        2. Rob, let me ask you this, is this guy telling a story about meeting a midget wrestling team any more offensive than someone from up north telling a story about all the overweight, gun-toting Southern rednecks he saw in Wal-mart when he was down South? Both sound funny to me, I can laugh at myself, thats all I’m saying.

        4. Do you guys know how to give a straight answer? What is the differnce in in him tell this story of his versus a joke about Southern rednecks? It seems we are the only people who can laugh at ourselves, or at least that is the way it seems.

        5. In my opinion, the difference is, if the redneck wanted to, he could get an education, lose some weight, pull up his pants and behave differently. No matter how much a little person wants to he can never be taller.

        6. Who is it that you think is telling southern redneck jokes?

          (1) Southern Rednecks are so by volition

          Small people, other races, and gays don’t get the luxury of choosing to be so or not.

        8. When is it OK to make jokes about someone? When they are OK with it, and when they welcome the joking. If someone is hurt by it, you stop and apologize. Dehumanizing people is never OK (and really, Little People get too much of that already).

          Good rule of thumb? OK to joke about yourself, but if someone else hasn’t given you permission to joke with/about them, don’t do it.

        9. Okay, Chad, if it makes you feel better, I will laugh at you: Ahahahaha, ahahaha. Was that good enough? 😈

    3. You know you’ve been a fundamentalist for shamefully too long if you can watch that video and think there’s nothing wrong with it.

      1. WOW! You people need to get a sense of humor. I love this site and as a former fundy and committed Christian I agree with most of what’s here, but I have to go with Chad on this one. It’s just a joke. Lighten up. Watch a little stand up. Check out David Regan, Jim Gaffigan…it’s a joke people!

        And Rob, gays do have a choice. Even if you believe they can’t choose not to be gay, they can certainly choose not to practice immorality.

    4. It was utterly tacky and offensive, think about this, if he witnesses SO much and ALWAYS passes out tracts, why would he feel the need to tell the story of midget wrestlers and a black rapper as his …I can’t think a word….oh yeah, IFBs use the word “prospects”. Why did he tell about them? Because in his eyes they REALLY needed the gospel more than other people and look how cool he is that he reaches black people and midgets! He is not afraid… Tipical IFB. Haven’t looked at the website yet, I am sure it’s a gem. 😈

    5. I didn’t see any humor in that midget wrestler story at all. The sole point of that story was to say that HE PASSED OUT A TRACT???? Seriously? That’s it? I guess now he can rest well at night now knowing that he passed out one gospel tract to a Midget Wrestling team. Crazy stuff here.

    6. If you think preaching is “red hot rootin tootin devil hatin, king james thumpin, sin judgin’, whore condemnin’, fire and brimston’, hell and fury” intended to make sinners crawl “lower than a snake belly in a wagon trail” to the altar for some “good ole fashioned repentin’ “, then yeah, I guess this is good preaching.

      If preaching is intended to edify, encourage and build up, then this is very very very bad. It’s not even preaching. It’s browbeating. It’s condemnation. It’s a guilt trip.

      1. Preaching is to edify the saints, it also is to preach God’s righteousness. And that means preaching against sin and telling of sin’s ultimate price, Hell. There is no way around it, you can not just preach the nice, comforting side of the Gospel, otherwise it would not be offensive.

        2. I bet this is offensive to you

          I am completely forgiven. All my sins are gone. Even ones I have not committed yet. My repentance brings no more forgiveness. My confessions to God brings no more forgiveness. It was done once, and I was forgiven and cleansed of ALL unrighteousness. You are completely forgiven. If you sin today, it is already forgiven. If you don’t confess it, it is already forgiven. There is nothing you can do to be more sanctified. It is not about saying “no” to sin. It is “knowing” you are dead to sin already.

          Paul never preached about Hell, yet he was offensive. What was his message? Total forgiveness apart from the law, and no condemnation in Jesus Christ. Who was offended? The religious & self righteous.

          You don’t need a balance of law and grace. You just need grace. Do you honestly think that people need to know the 10 commandments in order to be convicted and saved? And why does a preacher need to do it. Jesus said the Holy Spirit would do it. What sinners need to hear is not condemnation (which they have heard from the religious for over 4000 years, and it hasn’t had the desired effect yet), but grace and peace from God, who has reconciled the world to Himself through His Son.

          The order is – Neither do I condemn thee – NO condemnation – go and sin no more. The latter comes after the former. Power in freedom from condemnation. Preachers got it wrong today. They all be preaching “Stop sinning” and then you won’t be condemned and God will accept your repentant heart. Wrong. God accepts the blood of Jesus.

        3. Free. That was beautiful. Seriously. Beautiful. I actually have tears in my eyes from reading that. Thank you for writing it.

        1. You evidently haven’t heard Greg Locke “preach”. I know he has changed somewhat in his IFB stance recently, from what I hear, but he used to use all kinds of weird trail on sentences and southern slang. I heard him in Australia once. At the time, it was entertaining. I even bought 24 cds of his which all featured his giant face on them and some of the most exagerated tails of woe you will ever hear.

          Like this one:

          So one time, this lovely good godly Christian lady, keeps the home etc, her husband is a drunk, and comes home drunk every night. She goes to the preacher and says “Preacher, my husband is a no good drunk, I’ve prayed for him but he won’t change”. The preacher says, “well, here is what you do – get a cat, kill it, and put it’s guts in the sink. When he throws up in it that night, he’ll be so scared he has thrown up his guys, he’ll sober up right”. So the woman does that. The husband comes home drunk, and as usual, spews up in the sink.

          Next morning, he is sober as (don’t remember the word he used here). The wife is thankful for the change and asks him how his night was. He says “Honey, you won’t believe it. I came home so drunk, I spewed my guts up. But thank God, I grabbed that fork and managed to cram them all back in”.

          Yes… I swear to God this was a sermon illustration from Greg Locke. If I knew which cd it was on, I would record the audio, but I really don’t want to listen to 24 cds to find it again.

          Oh, also, one story about a demon possessed man who poked out the eyes of his child with a coal stoker thing.

        3. Actually, now that I read it, it’s a pretty funny joke. But he presented it as though it really happened. I remember wondering at the time why she had to kill a cat, and couldn’t just buy some offal from the store.

    1. Again, channeling Curtis Hutson. Miss Marple was right. There are only so many types of icky people in this world.

        1. You are just so cool. You not only were deeply steeped enough in this crap to be a total wreck, but you are NOT, and are very funny, and it looks like you even do hair. I had so many Hyles Publications stupid books, and so many SOTL ones too. Personal fave? BOBBED HAIR, BOSSY WIVES, AND WOMEN PREACHERS. I like to think that all three have applied to me, at some time or another… 😉

        2. And, you’re so very sweet. 🙂

          I remember that book, too. John R. Rice wrote it, right? I used to have a bob… and I’m NEVER bossy *snort, cough*.

  6. I thought this website looked familiar. It’s the spitting image of Phil KKKidd’s old site. The clincher was the guestbook, which is exactly like Kidd’s. I see they are both created by Val’s Web Design, using the latest in 1990’s conventions.

    1. Are you suggesting that racism rears it’s ugly head in the fundy world?? 😯 heavy sarcasm. My late husband was once pink-slipped from a fundy temple in Murfreesboro, TN, because he refused o go, at the Baptist pope’s COMMAND, to tell an interracial couple that they could not be baptized. Racism is alive and well in IFB. Just ask Jim Vineyard.

        1. That pastor is long dead, and this event is more than twenty years ago. I have no proof they are any different though. But, I will give them the benefit and not say it. Anyway, just check the yellow pages. They advertise themselves loudly. 😉

        2. Or perhaps call them and see if their position on the issue has changed. If not, name that racist church.

  7. “I can’t believe the things that Christians get side tracked on, like what version of the Bible to use or what style of music to listen to or use in church or how long should a man’s hair be!” Is that what he was inferring or did I get the wrong message from the whole rant? Btw, I didn’t listen to the whole rant, but I might go back to the part about the midget wrestlers.

    2. Yep, just what I was thinking. I can’t believe the standards these people major on and the tracts they have to pass out WHILE PEOPLE ARE DYING AND GOING TO HELL all around them.

    2. So he calls himself the “James Brown of Fundamentalism”? ❗ I’m sure there’s a joke there, but I can’t think of one at the moment.

      I wonder who was edited out of the “Nothing but Trouble” picture. Whoever it is, they did a poor editing job- looks like it was done with a magic marker. The Soviets had better photograph editors 70 years ago.

        1. Ugh I really hate it when they do that. My sister did that with her volleyball team picture a few years ago: half the original team left the school, and she blacked out their faces /eye roll Really??

        2. Okay, wait, I did not understand till I actually went to the link and looked–they BLACKED OUT THE GUY FROM THE PICTURE!!! Who DOES this??? HAHAHAHAAAA… losers. 🙄

        3. Nope, Beowulf, I went to the original, but do not recognize the guy. This opens up, however, opportunities galore. Like, a chain-story, chapter at a time, by willing contributors, on who this guy is and what led to his being Sharpied out of the photo… sigh of happiness. Fundies. Good for so many laughs, and for exercises in creativity. :mrgreen:

        4. It’s probably someone they have since decided to serparate from since the picture was taken. Maybe he wasn’t keeping up his tract quota to midgets and minorities. 🙄

  9. Why does he keep saying we “owe God?” As a Christian, I don’t owe God anything. If I owe something, than I’m paying back for something that has been done for me and how can I pay back what was given to me for free? Salvation is a gift. Faith is a gift. His grace is a gift. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him. So if everything is a gift then I owe nothing! I serve in love. I serve in adoration for what has been done for me. I give because I love Jesus, but I don’t owe a single thing. This mindset of look what Jesus has done for you to produce fear and guilt in believers only shackles and weighs Christians down. If there is nothing I can do to earn my selfish, there is certainly nothing I can do to maintain it. When Christ said, “It is finished” it was and there is nothing more I ever have to do. He paid all that I owed and there’s nothing more I can do. Thanks be to God.

    4. My former fundy church guilts people with the “you owe God” and “What have you done for God lately” philosophy.

      And whatever you have done is not enough!

      No, you have to go door-knocking soul-winning OFTEN or they determine you are not really serving God with your life. You must keep giving money for the never ending building program or you are not living sacrificially enough for God.

      They preach God gives us grace to work, work, work, serve, serve, serve, and give, give give.

      They teach a perverted form of grace. 😥

      1. Exactly and that’s the biggest reason I am soon to be OUT. I don’t want to serve out of guilt or coercion. I want to serve the Lord because I love Him and am grateful to Him not because some fundy preacher guilt trips me about it. 👿

    5. So true. I was doing as I usually do when hearing fundies, I was tuning out. And I heard how we could pay our debts to the unsaved by handing out a gospel tract. That sounds like penance to me. I thought these fundies didn’t like Roman Catholics…
      We can’t pay ANY debts we owe, only Christ has paid the debt of our failure to love our neighbor.

  10. The website has a Dino piano arrangement of an Andre Crouch song. This is NOT a BJU (or MBBC) type of evangelist!

    1. Ah, Dino! I saw him and Debbie at Sam’s Club the other day. In the harsh glare of the fluorescent lights, his black hair looked almost blue…

      1. Wasn’t Debbie the first wife? Someone told me he married Gary McSpadden’s sister. Dino and Gary look like they might be brothers. At least because of the hair, anyway.

  11. On a separate note, why does he always fold his handkerchief in his lapel pocket with 4 points on it? Sign of the four horsemen?

  12. 1) I feel sorry for his children.
    2) He sounds like Gene Hackman.
    3) I don’t think what I heard qualifies as a sermon…angry rant yes, but not a sermon.
    4) I must’ve missed the part where he preached Christ crucified…where he preached the gospel…where he mentioned the word grace.

  13. LOL @ the stories of giving out gospel tracts to “midget wrestlers in Wendy’s” and Flavor Flav in an airport. i meant it, those are funny stories!

  14. Ah, Hamblin. As I recall, he’s the guy that looked like he was bobbing and weaving most of the time when he was speaking. Can’t look at the video since Youtube (I’m assuming that’s where the video is hosted) is blocked (not having speakers would also be a problem – stupid work computers 🙁 ).

  16. How ironic…he is bewailing (at high decibels) that people waste so much time on silly issues when people are desperately needing to hear the Gospel….he then spends 2 minutes talking about how he is more spiritual than another pastor….

    1. Yep, a total braggathon. Look at me! I’m better than you! I give out more tracts than you! Where’s the humility brother? 😕

  17. I have heard John Hamblin at a conference about 2 years back. He exudes arrogance, and people I know, who know the man personally also say the same thing about him.

    He might have the “gift of gab” but he’s far from a great preacher, IMO.

    1. My favorite thing about this evangelist is that his prayers are exactly the same night after night, year after year. Complete with references to sacred desks and hedges. I’m glad that he prays from his heart…

  18. As repulsive as this minister is (and I certainly agree with those that believe he is the very antithesis of Christianity), let us not forget that men like this rise to positions of power and authority because there are plenty of “sheep” who will unthinkingly follow him. As we seek to follow Christ, none of us should ever assume that we are immune to the ignorant rantings of preachers like this. One can almost comprehend the mind-set that motivated the followers of Jim Jones to commit suicide.

  21. BFF Dr. Lawrence Mendez sez: “Because of not listening to preaching, you’ll end up being an illustration in a preacher’s sermon.” Sphincter says what?

  22. I had to click on the Twitter link on his website… a little disappointing but can’t say I was surprised.

  24. http://www.evangelistjohnnhamblin.com/learned.htm

    This is what popped into my head immediately after reading each of his “Twenty-Five Things I Have Learned in a Quarter of a Century Being Saved and in the Service of the King!” (Probably the name of his next book.)

    1. “The Bible has to be the bedrock to all that the child of God believes.”
    Yes, especially the parts about rock music and the length of women’s skirts. Those are my favorites.

    2. “Being a gentleman (or a lady) is always Heaven’s order of the day.”
    What, you mean like coattails and a martini? If so, sign me up for the martini.

    3. “Convictions that last are not birthed in the head but in the heart.”
    That’s why fundamentalism is dying out.

    4. “One person can make an eternal difference.”
    But only if he goes soul winning, and goes to church four times a week, and doesn’t let his wife wear pants…

    5. “Sharpness in everything sets the standard.”
    Yes, because man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord…never mind.

    6. “Every greatly used Christian has the fingerprint of a giant for God upon him.”
    …That doesn’t even make sense…

    7. “Prayer coupled with perseverance always prevails.”
    Alliteration for the hell of it.

    8. “Old-fashioned, Spirit-filled Bible preaching still works.”
    Works at what…driving traffic to your website?

    9. “Hell believes in confrontational soul winning.”
    You’re right…it sends lots of people there.

    10. “Have enthusiasm for every event.”
    False enthusiasm is still enthusiasm, amen?

    11. “Valleys for the Christian are just upside-down mountains.”
    Oh. I never thought of it that way. That makes everything better. Thank you, Dr. Hamblin!!

    12. “My ‘need’ will never drain or deplete God’s vast ‘supply.’”
    I’m kind of troubled that they’re both in quotes.

    13. “There is no substitute for the power of God in the work of God.”
    Because there’s nothing wrong with plagiarizing Douglas MacArthur as long as it builds my ministry!

    14. “No problem has eternal life.”
    It can only last 50 more years at the most.

    15. “There is a reason God gave you two ears and only one mouth.”
    So shut up and listen to me preach, amen?

    16. “Prodigals will never stay back unless somebody welcomes them back.”
    A guilt-based explanation for why people leave fundamentalism.

    17. “No one gets any more from God unless he is thankful for what he already has.”
    Because God loves to torture you by dangling carrots over your head that you can only have if you don’t want.

    18. “One rubs shoulders with greatness every day.”
    I’m talking about your pastor, dumbass.

    19. “’Followship’ makes a person ready for leadership.”
    Yet another reason to do what I say without questioning! Also, making up words ftw.

    20. “Even the closest followers of the Lord have obvious flaws.”
    Like adultery, child molestation, and embezzlement.

    21. “God will give the backslider a second chance.”
    Hint: it’s the invitation following my message.

    22. “Somewhere somebody needs my help.”
    I’m a superhero that way.

    23. “Vision always leads to victory.”
    Need to get to 25. More alliteration.

    24. “Little things with man are usually big things with God.”
    So quit making excuses for that hair touching your collar. God sees you!

    25. “What I take out of the ‘seed bag’ today is what I will put in the ‘harvest barn’ tomorrow.”
    Are those in quotes the way the “Dr.” in front of your name should be in quotes?

    1. 22. “Somewhere somebody needs my help.”
      I’m a superhero that way.

      EPIC. Just EPIC. 😆

    2. “6. ‘Every greatly used Christian has the fingerprint of a giant for God upon him.’
      …That doesn’t even make sense…”

      He IS aware that the Bible says God purposefully uses the base, the ignoble, and the weak in order to better show that the power is from HIM and not us?

      1. You raise an interesting point, pastor’s wife: IS he aware? I can believe he does not read the Word enough to even know that is its general tenor. However, I also believe that power-mad fundies like this one have blocked out the Truth for so long that they no longer even comprehend it. 🙁

  26. Ooooooh Dr Hamblin made it to SFL!! He’ll be at my (soon to be former) church this Sunday! He’s always entertaining anyway, in an eyebrow-raising sort of way. (Un)fortunately I’ll miss Lawrence Mendez and Shelton Smith: including SS’s refuttal of hyper-calvinism. If it’s anything like my old sunday school teacher’s, it’ll change what some of the points actually say and twist the others till they’re nothing like the original in order to refute them.

    I’ll be sure to take plenty of notes of him and attempt fundy bingo.

    1. You might want to ask him where he stole his slogan from! It’s NOT Original! He took a Missionary/Evangelist Prayer Card that had that slogan on it. They were in a meeting together in Walkerton, IN in 2008 (I think). He then made it his own. Would LOVE to hear his reply!

  28. “Preaching the old-fashioned Gospel the old-fashioned way”

    Meaning, like Billy Sunday, one supposes. Certainly not like Paul, Peter, or John. You know,those guys in the New Testament? 🙄

  30. I think it’s awesome how he quotes Charles Spurgeon who was a 5-point Calvinist and was disowned by the Baptist Denomination. Also, he has a picture of himself by Jonathan Edwards’ grave. Edwards was nicknamed “The most unrelenting Calvinist of New England”. Just interesting things about the man’s website….

    1. He is clueless. I’ve heard him preach a couple of times. He does not have a grasp of the Scriptures let alone church history.

  31. From his bio: MEMBER ON THE BOARD OF THE SWORD OF THE LORD. Love that rhyming!

    And, I never realized we owed a debt to sinners. I always figured I owed everything I am and have to God. Hmmm….

  32. This is revolting. I couldn’t believe he spent so much time talking about how people get hung up on things that don’t matter, and the only example he gave is preachers getting jealous of not being asked to pray?? What about nearly ALL of the fundy pet issues?

    And calling midgets roaches was appalling.

  33. Oh yeah, this is the guy that’s friends with The Godfather from the previous post.

    I think I’ll make a site all about ME. How great I am. How good I cut hair. Things I can teach YOU about life. Newsletter about what I’m doing, and an itinerary of what I’m going to do. And finish with my pasty face all over the front.

    Can you imagine?… Yeah, me too, that’s why I’ll spare you. 😉

    1. Darrell, this sounds like an AWESOME if not difficult Friday Challenge!!! Do it Natalie! 😀

      1. No, Sims, you need to buy a domain and create a public page to demonstrate to the world how great you are, and if that isn’t enough, get a family member to do a CD and play the thing on the page, as well (its preferable if you’re actually doing the singing, but the family angle will make the attempt at showing you humble).

        Facebook is of the devil anyway, that’s already been established.

        😉

        1. Ah. That does seem much better when you put it that way. I wonder if I could use my home videos and vacation videos since I have none of me proclaiming the gospel or holding up a sign or anything. I am, however, featured on a website called “stupid stuff people do” falling off a rope into a body of water in Hawaii. I could link that. Of course, I am in a swimsuit, but my butt doesn’t look too big in the picture, so that will definately go on the site. Hmmm. I should have a page to list all my achievements beginning with potty training and working all the way up to making a cheesecake this morning. This may take some time. But when it is done I will never have to write another resume, right?

        2. Well, now you’ve told us about it, you have to post it. That’s like making a cheesecake and not sharing with the rest of us…. oh yeah, you did that, too. 😉

        3. Geez, George. Why did you have to make that sound so bitchy?

          My apologies, Sims. George is having his time of the month, apparently.

        4. Sims takes things well. You would never believe what she has survived. George PM’S-ing? Piece of cake. 😉

        5. I couldn’t be offended by Natalie. She is one of my favorite posters here. Along with Pastor’s Wife and (of course) Seen Enough. Heck, ALL y’all are brilliant! When I get a chance I will look for the embarassing video of you. And I can’t share the cheesecake because it is for a women’s conference that I am cooking for. (NOT fundie!)

        6. See how strong? I, OTOH, cannot tolerate women’s conferences. I have been Marlene’d out for decades. 😕

        8. Oh, I’m not attending the conference. (That is why I am cooking for it) I can’t BEAR to sit through one. Later in another place I will tell you the hullaballoo that ensued when I told the woman putting it all together that I had no intention of sitting through it no matter WHO the speaker was. But after I explained it all she seemed ok with it. (Not that she understood, but hey, I am making cheesecake, so what could she say?)

    3. I come from a personal friend of Mr Johnny Hamblin. That friend promises his undying friendship if you would do him a small favour.

  34. Oh, yeah, I forgot about the “roaches with the lights on” comment, add extra disgust to my above comments!! But that is so TIPICAL. Just heard a Pastor say during his “sermon” that the bus kids were a thorn in his side and when called on it he said he didn’t say anything derrogatory about the bus kids… was I the only one that caught it now that I am listening to the preaching at my church with eyes wide open stuff that when you are steeped in fundyland you just laugh at. sick. 👿

    1. That reminds of me of when I first heard Mark what’s-his-name, the “Christian” comedian, on a tape that someone was playing in the adult Sunday School room after church (don’t know why, but I specifically remember hearing it in that room). He was going on and on making fun of fat women, and everyone was laughing, and I was like, “WTH? This guy is supposedly a Christian? And you all are laughing at it?” I was disgusted.

      Oh yeah, Mark Lowry. Just popped into my head.

    2. Can I ask: What are “bus kids”?

      Yall use a lot of lingo, I don’t know if you realize how much insider-lingo you use. You should consider having a glossary for visitors. (seriously) Like “soul winning” — I assume is more specific that “evangelism” or is it just another word for it?

      1. “Bus kids” are the children who ride the bus to church… often the parent (or parents) are glad to have them out of their hair for a while. Bus kid parents usually don’t attend church.

        “Soul-winning” (I like the term “witness” better) refers, in most IFB circles to going out and knocking doors in the neighborhood of the church. When someone answers, the “soul-winner” tries to persuade people to become Christians. This is usually done in groups of two. The stated goal is to show people how to be saved, but in many, many churches, the practice has devolved into trying to manipulate the person to say a prayer so that they can go to heaven.

        Ask about any other lingo!

        1. Ahh… well, then. You are TALKING to a bus kid. I didn’t know we had been called that! 😐

          If some church offered to pick kids up and bring em back, it was a done deal! (it also depended upon which parent/step-parent I lived with at the time) I liked it though, and it was the first place I learned all the differences between Baptists, Methodists, Nazarene (the Nazarene people were nicest), Lutherans, United Brethren… I was at some point farmed out to em all. If it was free (and particularly, if they had snacks), everybody in my neighborhood was there with bells on! Often, the Sunday School would be integrated (with bus kids), but the church service was not. Really glaring!

          Yeah, now that you mention it, we often didn’t stay for church in some of the more hard-core fundie churches. I often wondered if they were worried it would “turn off” the bus-parents if it should get back to them. Like, if I ever slipped and told my mom the preacher criticized divorced women, that was the *last time* I got to go. 🙄 (I usually didn’t tell her what they said, since I liked it; riding the bus all over the place, meeting kids, stories and songs, etc.) But we always felt “apart” from the rest of the church. I didn’t really mind that, since I always felt like a visitor anyway. I always thought they were talking about someone else, not me, and I could never shake that feeling. Probably because I simply was not raised that way.

      2. Bus kids: Fundamentalists often run bus routes through poor and/or minority areas so they can bring children to Sunday School and church. (Yes, it is almost always children. I never heard of an adult riding in to visit church on one; although it could happen, I guess.) Usually the bus kids are in children’s church or junior church, but they never seemed to make it in to the main service. If the church also had its own school, the bus kids and the Christian school kids didn’t really mix that much.

        1. In some churches bus kids are brought into the main service (kind of like show and tell) once a month or on the 5th Sunday of the month.

          I’ve seen a few parents ride the bus with their young children, but it’s very uncommon.

      3. omg Daisy! 😀 The internet will probably implode now. I keep hoping I will see you around when I’m in town.

        A glossary? It’s really weird to me that anyone not from fundy-land would be reading our conversations. 😆 I know it’s the internet and all, but I thought it was just us ex-fundies in here (with the occasional fundy hater). 😎

        1. Naomi, I live in Greenville, SC, which all my yankee friends assure me IS fundy land. :mrgreen:

          I am interested in the effects of faith (all kinds) on people (all kinds). My opinion is that fundamentalism, the effects, are the same, regardless of the theology or philosophy… I have known both religious and political fundamentalists and they are surprisingly similar (and intolerant!) no matter of the left or right, no matter which religion. This need humans have, to make ALPHAS of someone and then follow em like androids (why?), is very interesting to me. I think it might be due to (clears throat cautiously) evolution. In fact I think religion is basically a result of evolution (PS: if you ever want to drive the atheists crazy, thats how you do it). I think organized religion evolved as a moral community, so people would take care of one another even if there is no immediate incentives or rewards to do so.

          Bob Jones Univ fascinates me in general, since I have been around SO many of them, and they seem on some level to be *terrified* all the time. (I used to sell health supplements and many BJU customers confided in me, that they are on pharmaceuticals.) They talk about “joy” and stuff, but the joy seems very forced. I don’t see one iota of joy. 🙁

          Yeah, I hope we can meet up one of these days!

  35. ‘Flavor’ flav. Fail, or slight mispronunciation to let everyone know he’s not quite familiar enough with the worldly rap music to get the guy’s name right?

    1. I always believed they did that on purpose, too. I remember evangelist Tom Farrell preaching against Christina Aguilera, or “Ag-yew-lar” as he called her.

      1. It is also a racist trick. Worst bigot I know purposely mispronounces minority first/last names, as if to sneeringly say, look how un-white these names are. 👿

  36. Let’s be blunt. These stories are made up or exaggerated at the very least. I would love to jip his sermons with and insert “what really happened.” The midget story would go something like this.
    At Wendy’s Bro. Hamblin and fellow MOG spot a midget. Fellow MOG remarks, “Bro. Hamblin did you know that there is a midget wrestling league in the area.” Bro. Hamblin replies, “Really, that’s interesting.” Both proceed to order spicy chicken sandwiches, eat and leave a track on their tray.
    I said it before and I’ll say it again. These clowns just make things up in order to prop themselves up and elevate their reputation in fundyism.

    1. Yep. I’ve experienced this. In preacher-boys class when someone made an outrageous claim we would even wink and nod and say “evangelistically speaking” because we all knew the preacher-boys were full of sh*t.

        1. and generally since we have more respect for God and his name than these a$$clowns, we would Capitalize the Man and not the god, or even use the term gid – just to make it clear that God has nothing to do with many of these men.

          Its a reference to how they equate their position/authority with an OT Man of God – a prophet. Something that is not seen in the NT claimed even by the Apostles, nor does it pass the smell test since many of these men don’t even know who God is, nor do they have any idea what his Word says. They just know what the Mannagawd that taught them what it said cause he lernt it from another Mannagawd and so on and so forth. Its like Papal succession gone horribly wrong. And it has nothing at all to do with God

  37. Used the word “I” 39 times.
    Used “me/my” 8 times.
    If I counted correctly that’s 47 references to or about himself in 7 min. and 26 seconds. Let the Lord be glorified NOT the speaker.

  38. Okay, now, don’t get me wrong. I’m as proud to be American as anyone, but why is it so imperative to wallpaper the American flag over these sites? As if one’s level of spirituality is elevated based on one’s patriotism.

    It always reminds me of these people who do the same thing on theirs… http://www.kkk.com/

      1. I assume 2012 will have the SPLC adding a new hate group going by some “apathetic” name online. 🙂

  39. I love the tactic of screaming every word until the end of the sentance. And the last words of the sentance is almost always the most important one but is spoken quickly and quiety. WE MUST REACH AAAAALL THE WORLD wththgspl.

        1. Well, you’re welcome, and let me present to you one of my butt cushions…. (just don’t put it in my spot at church…. and its up to you to know where that is).

          😉 :mrgreen:

    3. Ha ha, I know what you mean thomasgarvon about not getting comment replies! These days I have just resorted to commenting on other comments! Safer that way! 🙂

    1. If that was rhetorical, then, awesome point.

      The fundy answer is that they keep their churches separate from a central council. They support missions and minister as independents and not through a central association.

      The truth is, they informally usually (with some exceptions) belong to certain “camps”, be it the SOTL, the Hyles camp and its various sub-camps, the Bob Jones camp, the PCC camp, the Southwide Fellowship, etc., and they can belong to more than one. They usually pattern ministries after other older preacher’s ministries to the point that you can usually tell where the dude went to college or was influenced the most by just by hearing him preach, watching his speaking mannerisms, down to even what shoes he wears (no joke).

    2. Well, historically Baptists were congregational; e.g., all the staffing decisions were made by the local church, not a synod or diocese. In reality, this is very different from being “independent”, however. In fact, the first Baptist confession of London in 1644 was specifically the work of several local churches who had banded together into what we would call a denomination or association today. Accountability was very important to the original baptists.

  41. “Sidetracked on stupid stuff”

    – You mean like judging what you say by Scripture? (I Cor 14:29)

    Thought 1: Apparently, his theme is “How Great I Art”

    “Troublemakers are never soul-winners” FALSE

    Thought 2: I didn’t know I had a debt to sinners

    Thought 3: He knows rappers better than I do

    Thought 4: He has studied well how to exalt self at the feet of Jack Hyles

  42. Another one: In answer to the general question posed by him “Why can’t you people be as good of a Christian as I am?”

    ANSWER: Because I am not supposed to be better than you; I am supposed to be all that God desires me to be.

  43. Here’s a question for ya. How many times do we find Jesus “winning souls” in the gospels?

    1. Well, there’s the woman at the well – that’s been screamed at me a lot.

      There are all of the people He interacted with; I’m sure that they are all called soul-winning by fundy preachers.

      A good question.

      And here’s another: If soul-winning is that important, why are they no commandments to do it in ANY of the epistles?? I see plenty of exhortations to live righteously, holy, separated and to love the brethren (sistern, too!), but the Bible seems to be lacking in soul-winning commands, other than the Great Commission. But why, if it is that important, is it not repeated elsewhere, or why are people not reminded of this?

      1. Also the Great Commission doesn’t just include sharing the Gospel, but also baptizing converts, discipling them, and teaching them to follow Christ. Getting someone to simply pray a prayer with you or sign a card isn’t really following Christ’s command fully.

        1. So very, very true… so many bragging churches are good at the first part (so they claim). Some make a big deal about the second part (baptisms).

          But if one is going to count at all, it should those converts that are saved, baptized, and continue in the doctrine. Are they still in church a year after they are saved? OK, count them THEN. Otherwise, you may be given false assurance to an unsaved person.

      2. But that’s just it – the woman at the well went away asking “could this be the Christ” – that sounds like doubt, not soul winning. Then there was the rich man. Jesus sure preached to him, but he left, so apparently Jesus’ soul-winning technique was pretty poor. I’m just sayin’…

  45. At 6:10 he says “Hey Mr. Flav, here’s something to read, it’s from the Bible, I wrote it.” That’s one doozy of a Freudian slip right there.

  46. I don’t believe “flavor-flave” called him “Preacher”. I don’t even believe any of his stories. I wonder why.

    1. Sims, please oh please say you heard Jack Hyles, the one and only time I know of that he said he had ridden in an elevator with Elvis!  Best part?  Elvis recognized HIM!  HILARIOUS!  Whereupon, JH witnessed to Elvis, who immediately confessed to JH that he (Elvis) was shamefully backslidden.  Later, Linda Hyles Murphry said it was all made up.  No duh, Linda??? 🙄

      1. Hey! I heard Jack tell that story at a youth conference in Wisconsin! He stepped into an elevator and there was Elvis. Then he witnessed to Elvis and it ended up being a failure for Jack. Even back then my BS meter was going off the chart. That was before everything hit the fan for him and he was still revered in all circles of the fundykingdom.

        1. Eric, you made my day. Or years I have asked fellow ex-HACers if they remember it, and no one ever does. I think it may be because he only told it away from FBC Hammond? Not sure. BS Artist for the ages. 🙄

        2. @Seen Enough Nope, I remember it vividly. He was in an elevator in a hotel and suddenly the door open and in stepped Elvis. The door closed and it was just Elvis and Jack in the elevator. It must have been the slowest elevator in the world, maybe hand cranked, because from the time that Elvis stepped in till they reached their respective floors old Jack was able to get almost a whole life story from Elvis. The point of Jack’s BS illustration was that Elvis admitted to him that though he was a Christian that he was too far involved in the world for him to come back to Christianity. That and Jack kept yelling “The King” in a derogatory when he referred to Elvis.

      2. I remember it vividly. He told that story more than enough times for us all to know that if Elvis was in hell it wasn’t HIS fault.

        1. *Also* I also remember it vividly. Really, I don’t think this was George’s fault. I have much bigger issues with my posts than a missing word.

        2. So, Eric heard it in Wisconsin. Sims, where were you when you heard it? I really am curious now, because I am wondering if he had brass enough o tell it in Hammond. I did get to go to some SOTL conference once, as a student, and we all had dinner with Hyles and Rice, but I forget where it was… Were you there. Why does no one who was at HAC later than we were remember it? I feel in my gut he got called on it at some time, and stopped telling it, or else was very careful where he told it. Liar. 👿

        3. I heard it in Hammond. I don’t know what the event was (probably a church service) but it was at the church, not in chapel. I know I heard it more than once though. It would have been before 1980. It’s too bad he didn’t meet up with Michael Jackson too. Our old music director claims that one. What IS it with these guys?

  47. I used to believe those dramatic soul winning stories that give so much glory to the soul winner, and where the one receiving the tract is so thankful and promises to read it, etc. I just don’t believe it anymore. There’s part of it that’s true and part that’s wildly embellished. It intensifies the guilt of people who then go out and try to do the same, and find their experiences with people in the real world just never pan out this way.

  48. In the photo of “Dr.” Hamblin on the home page, it looks like he just let loose the “one check sneak!” :mrgreen:

  49. Lol!! Do you mean he looks like he just lifted one butt cheeck and FARTED? Now that you mention it yeah, the look on his face seems like the smell just wafted upwards! Okay, I repent… 😛

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