Odds and Ends

A Fundy Free Day

160 Comments

Today I have a gift to give you all. I declare this day, the 8th of September, to be a Fundy Free day. I invite you all to take this day and with it pretend (to the extend that you are able) that fundamentalism and it’s ills and snares simply do not exist. Rise from your place and take a walk. Read a book. Say a prayer. Call a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. Turn up the radio and sing until your lungs ache.

And if upon this day you are a student or staff member at some fundamentalist institution and cannot very well completely ignore where you are then I would bid you to commit some small random act of disobedience today such as will leave a smile on your face through other days to come. Sneak out. Live free. Breathe a little unregulated air and know that life is still full of good things and freedom waits just around the next corner.

For it’s little good to be free if you spend every day obsessed with peering back into your old cage and rattling the dusty chains you find there. I love you all and I’ll see you again tomorrow.

160 thoughts on “A Fundy Free Day”

    1. And let it be known, that in order for me to get this “First” my husband had to take a duty station halfway around the world, where I am visiting (since he’s in port). Otherwise, I’m on the West Coast, and the “First” has already been taken. So there…I feel I’ve earned my butt cushion now.

        2. No, his can wait. That thing is impossible and I’m swimming in wires and this odd cushion batting that he gave me to use (says he bought it off the back of some man’s truck that was marked Area 51). I’m having to make his in spurts… and drink martinis in the process. :mrgreen:

  2. Honestly, it’s getting to where every day is like that for me. I’m in a great church, I have a difficult life but it’s a happy one, my relationship with Christ has drastically improved and now, fundamentalism is starting to become this faint, fuzzy memory that doesn’t really cross my mind that often unless I’m asked about it. 😀

    1. and even when I’m asked, it doesn’t make me angry or sad anymore. I answer questions and laugh when they look at me with jaw-dropped, bug-eyed expressions I just say “Crazy, huh?”.

      1. you envy me? Your name says your still in…GET OUT! That’s how it happened for me! 🙂 You get around normal people long enough and that same normalcy rubs off on you and before you know it, you’re normal just like them!

        2. Well, I took a big step in telling my best friend at church that I am seriously considering leaving.

        4. Yes it is I have been asking my 7th grader every day, “what was chapel about today?” I think I need to make an exit plan like start visiting other churches every other Sunday to find a new church. My Mega church service on Saturday nights will keep me grounded while I look around. I really think stumbling accross this site is part of my leaving. I’m glad it’s here. Thanks to all of you.

        5. That is a big step. It’s how it started for us. We felt like it was time to move, started talking about it and before you know it, we were given a great big shove out the door! I was angry about that for a while, but now I’m thinking about writing that pastor and telling him thank you!

          Hope it goes well for you!

      2. Alot of what helps is TIME. Time out of it makes it blurry, but the problem is that the bad teaching is still there. It is SO IMPORTANT to get into a place where there is GOOD teaching to replace the bad teaching with. You may not realize how deep the bad teaching goes. I am 53 and STILL am hearing stuff from the Word of God and saying, “Hey, wait…” because we were so abused spiritually.

        1. All so true.
          My birthday is late in the year.
          Which does explain why I am the silly immature one. 🙁

        2. I said I was giggling because Sims is already 53, but. George in his kindness deleted it, but as I AM the childish one, I m putting it BACK. 😈

        3. HEY! How were you able to delete? Was it an accident? And by the way, as I recall, you used to be the same age as me about thirty years ago. Hmmmm…

        4. Sims, my dear, this Fundy Free air has you inebriated. I SAID my birthday is later than yours. I will BE 53 in a few months. I deleted by using brackets instead of parentheses, like the dolt that I am. George said no way.

        5. So true. The pastor that was there for me as we came out just retired recently. All the churches that were planted out of that church got together for a big church service/ celebration and when I hugged him bye the only thing I could think to say was “Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me” which may not have seem like much, but a year under his teaching did amazing things for me and there wasn’t anything better I could say than that. Then I danced like crazy with my husband and kids at the dance party that followed the service and revelled in my delicious new found freedom.

  3. I’m confused. Is today, the 8th, the day he posted this, supposed to be Fundy free day? Or was it yesterday the 7th.

      1. I was about to make a joke about it takes a real Fundamentalist to declare YESTERDAY a fundy free day with open rebellion allowed. Darrell fixed it now.

        Can I get a rain check & use this tomorrow? Friday feels like a much better fundy free day! 🙂

        1. The great thing about Fundy Free day is that you can celebrate it whenever you want.

          You can even make it a lifetime endeavor if you’re able. Some do and they seem very happy.

    1. Uh, at first that worried me, too, but I figure, hey, we are free. Make it any day you want! :mrgreen:

  6. Thanks for the smile Darrell. I find that I am able a little more each day, able to do this very thing, to live in this freedom through grace. I am hoping that you didn’t post this at 11:45pm and that the day of freedom only lasted 10 miniutes because I plan to extend it through the whole 8th of September 😆 Does anyone plan to block or delete all fundies from their facebook newsfeed for the day? 😛

  9. Yes, everyone, that was supposed to read “the 8th.”

    That’s what I get for writing my posts the day before. 🙂

  10. Great post! In honor of it I put this song by Caedmon’s Call up for consideration. http://grooveshark.com/#/s/Free/3SS1gN?src=5

    Free

    Verse 1
    Around my neck is a beautiful stone
    I made it from the good that I’ve done
    It is close to my heart with a meter of its own
    But the weight it bears on me from the good I want to be
    It cuts me in half, a blade, a sword, a golden calf

    Verse 2
    Now I am sinking under the load
    I see it was only fool’s gold
    And it falls on me, brings me low
    Around his neck He carries the stone
    He takes my burden, makes it his own
    And it takes him down, the bread, the wine, the golden crown

    Chorus
    Free

    Verse 3
    a rose shoots up from the ground
    the sky cracks open, sun through the clouds
    the old has changed, the earth, the bride, the family name

    Bridge
    Broken down and shot through, all the good I mean to do
    The prison shakes, the man goes free, I am him and he is me

    Free

  12. that picture reminds me of the four hour hike i went on yesterday. i got stung by two wasps! 🙁

    2. Ow that’s too bad. The pic is lovely and I will be adding it to my arsenal of lovely pix. And definitely fundy free. :mrgreen:

  13. The photo makes me feel mildly LOTR-ish, so here’s a quote that popped to mind when I read the blog. :mrgreen:

    “This is your realm, and the heart of the greater realm that shall be. The Third Age of the world is ended, and the new age is begun; and it is your task to order its beginning and to preserve what may be preserved. For though much has been saved, much must now pass away.” — The Return of the King

  16. Nice. Reminds me of a very freeing passage in Ecclesiastes.

    A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind. ~ Ecclesiastes 2:24-26

  17. Darrell, what are you doing to celebrate? 🙂

    First we could blast “Bad Medicine” by Bon Jovi. (the IFB cult is Bad Medicine) and then when you are on the verge of getting out we’ll sing “Livin’ on a Prayer” then to get us into the future we’ll move on to..
    “Dont Stop Thinking About Tomorrow” by Fleetwood Mac.

    Yesterdays Gone…Yesterdays gone…

    Anyone else have a music trilogy that describes their exodus ❓ ❗

    1. Start with “We’re Not Gonna Take It” by Twisted Sister – “Don’t pick our destiny ’cause you don’t know us, you don’t belong”

      Then the Eagles “Peaceful Easy Feeling.”

      Follow all of that with a tip to our Canadian friends and throw on some Triumph and “Magic Power” – “I’m young, I’m wild, and I’m free.” (the second verse could have been written about me every day of my teenage world except I’m a guy.)

      1. A while back, The Onion reported that the members of Twisted Sister have finally decided they’re willing to take it.
        Now back to your regularly scheduled commenting. :mrgreen:

    2. Pink Floyd – On The Turning Away
      Rush – The Big Wheel
      Queensryche – Anybody Listening

    3. “I’ll be Watching You” by the Police (people [as in, other adults] were still tattling on me to my mom when I was a senior in high school)

      “He Thinks He’ll Keep Her” Mary Chapin Carpenter

      “Raise your Glass” by Pink (how I love that line, wrong in all the right ways)

    4. There’s a serious lack of Reggae in this list. Might I suggest Matisyahu- We Will Walk, Thunder, Youth, and the highly optimistic One Day
      Bob Marley- Get Up Stand Up, Hurts to be Alone and Soul Rebel
      Trevor Hall- Where’s the Love and Other Ways

  18. I can’t join in fundy free day as long as fundamentalism still impacts so negatively our family’s financial situation. How I would love to pack up, move to a new place, get a decent job, and make new friends, NONE of whom were fundies. (Sorry to be grumpy this morning.)

        2. When I was a kid, my mom raised chickens. One day we found a rotten egg. We wondered what it looked like on the inside, since we’d never seen that. She threw it against a board. It popped, like a mini-explosion, but there was nothing inside. It had turned to gas.

        3. @beth.. Ok good to know. So we want the rotten eggs like Templeton the Rat brought back when he went out and scavenged for Charlotte!! 🙂

    2. How about this? Maybe the Lord of the Background is weaving together the next part of the adventure, and this is simply your waiting period. Maybe the next turn, around the next corner, will bring happiness you never expected to have again. It can happen! It has happened for me. It is my prayer for you, right now. ❗

      1. It has happened for me MANY times in my life. There are hills and valleys. From the valley you can’t see much. But you won’t be in the valley forever. Enjoy the valley, it has its benefits. Soon you will be on a hilltop again.

    3. I hear you PW. My husband and I spent almost our whole working lives working for fundy or fundy–lite missions organizations or christian non-profits. We are now 59 and a half years old, and have a whole six or seven hundred dollars put back for retirement, and Social Insecurity going to hell in a hand basket. Some days I feel very angry. 😥

      1. I’m sorry, Susan. It can be scary and discouraging. So glad God’s preparing a place for us!

  19. May all come to celebrate with Martin Luther King: “Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”

    Enjoy your day.

  20. “This is how it feels to be free! This is how it feels to know that I’ve been forgiven!”

    Recently wanted to sing this to someone. A young lady left our church several years ago because 1) I went to see The Passion of the Christ, 2) I went to a Steve Green concert (She said he was a “rock” singer), 3) I wouldn’t tell women that they couldn’t wear pants to church, and 4) I didn’t preach on the King James Version issue.
    Last Sunday afternoon I was in the mall and guess who was standing in line at the theater with a pair of pants on. She saw me and tried to hide behind her husband. I wanted to tell her congratulations on being free. It is good to be free!

  21. I think a trip to the Hollywood movie house is in order today. I may even see an “R” rated movie in celebration! 😈

  22. “For it’s little good to be free if you spend every day obsessed with peering back into your old cage and rattling the dusty chains you find there.”

    This is a great quote which many seem to need to heed (sorry about the rhyming; must have caught it from yesterday’s post).

      1. Recently, I saw a necklace with a pendant that was a cage with an open door and a bird flying from it. I LOVED it and hope to get it – very symbolic.

  23. But, Darrell, if there was no fundyland, what, pray tell, would we have to make fun of?

    And, what… what ever would I be… without *sniff* my butt cushions? Not to mention, my Superior Christian Womenhood ladies and our Self-Righteous Ladies Jubilee every year. I mean, where else would we proclaim how perfect we are, prove how better we can dress, and share our perfect casserole recipes?

    The world NEEDS Superior Christian Women and by goodness, they shall have it!

    😉 :mrgreen:

    1. Never fear, Natalie, I am still here, and so is Sims, and we adore parody of what we once were expected to adulate. Parody of Fundy Female Superiority shall not vanish from the face of the earth!! :mrgreen:

      1. In this case, being a parody is a GOOD thing, right? (I DO have quite a few good recipes, but NO CASSEROLES!) I only do REAL cooking now, and I give my ladies five star quality food or I don’t bother giving them anything at all. PFFS SISTERS UNITE!!!

        1. For instance, the ladies at this year’s conference will be dining on Grilled Lime Chicken, A fresh Salad made of Fresh Spring Greens, pine nuts, cheese, etc, with home made dressing. Homemade garlic cheese flatbread with Strawberry Mango Cheesecake for dessert. (That is just Friday night’s menu. We are also having breakfast and lunch the next day if anyone is interested.) I know people who say they only come for the food.

        2. Ladies conference? It would have to be the food, or me. Cannot cope with ladies- only drivel. BTW, your menu sounds simply mah-velous, Dahling. 😀

        3. @Sims. toasted pine nuts I hope? Throw in some goat cheese and I’ll be your friend forever!! 🙂

        4. YES! Presbygirl! And the dressing is a wonderful balsamic basil that is just amazing. I could eat this particular salad every single day of my life!!! (I don’t know why I don’t.)

        5. @SeenEnough, I agree! I can hardly stand women-only church events. Even when our small group splits up women and men for the evening occasionally, we find ourselves sitting around saying, “what are we doing over here, why don’t we just go over to where our husbands are?”

        6. If the conversation were ever anything my mind could grasp and get into! But it nearly always devolved into girly chit chat crap. Because we do not have brains, or what?

    2. OMYGOSH! I TOTALLY misunderstood what SEEN ENOUGH was saying. I am actually glad to re-read it and see that WE are not the parody of THEM (Although if you look at it that way, we are a GOOD parody of them. Sometimes I feel that way though. I still do a lot of the stuff I used to do, but with the new heart I do them altogether different and I do them with JOY! Ok, back to the free day. (and more menu planning for me)

        2. I wish we could just delete this whole section… I don’t like when the holes in my brain are showing. I would be happy to explain what went on in my head when I read your post, but it would probably make you MORE confused and definately isn’t worth the journey.

        3. Is it ok if I blame George’s cousin, Burt? He is here from out of town and what George does to grammar, Burt does to understanding. Sometimes he makes people misread things that are very obvious upon a second go-over. He is just as active as his cousin and more insidious.

        4. It is not anyone’s fault; it is this Fundy Free air. Look what it did to poor Don, down there.

  25. Wow, look how green everthing is! And the sky it’s no longer gray and overcast! And breathe that fresh a…*coff, ackk, wheeze* its.so.b e a u t i

    1. Don, Don! Breathe slowly at first. Liberty takes time to get used to. Somebody get Jack Schaap over here, Don may need to be slapped out of this dazed stupor….

      1. oooohhhhhh YOU SAID THE S- WORD… UMMMMMMmmmm And on fundie free day too!!! You’re in troooubbbleeee

        1. But I repented! Keep reading! I cannot help it, someone on a thread up there got me so confused…. 😉

      1. Susan, that has got to be one of the most beautiful things someone can say. He never was, but boy, they can sure make you believe He scowls at you, can’t they?

  27. This might have been easier to do if I would not have seen an RV with this written on the back – “Read the Holy Bible the King James 1611 – the Bible GOD USES!”
    Aargh! I can’t very well have a Fundy free day with that going through my head can I? 😡

      1. OOOHHHMYGOSH! That laugh woke the dog up! You are hereby absolved of the other sin further up the page!!!

  28. “I’ve been to the mountaintop. I don’t mind. Like anybody, I would like to live – a long life; longevity has its place. But I’m not concerned about that now. I just want to do God’s will. And He’s allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I’ve looked over. And I’ve seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the Promised Land. So I’m happy, tonight. I’m not worried about anything. I’m not fearing any man. Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.” MLK, Jr.

    Free from a life of Fundy Bondage!!!

    1. Real, physical slavery is such an apt metaphor for what we have lived through and survived.

      1. Interesting that you say that, because for a year after I graduated from fundy u, I dreamed I was trapped there and never could leave.

  30. I lit a prayer candle, said a decade of the Jesus prayer and dusted of the Icon of Mary I have above my desk, and I talked with a friend who is Presbyterian!

    1. Let’s not get too frisky here, now, SW. Next thing you know, you’ll be using a Bible that has no fundy autographs in it…. 😉

  33. I was briefly a fundie Catholic, but they don’t call them that, they callem “trads”–another way to slap yall upside the head, I always thought.

    I passed thru it, but the self-righteousness was a lot of fun while it lasted.

    1. One of my relatives is a trad, and I really don’t see much difference between her and the Fundies. YIKES! Crazy is crazy, no matter what the denominational label.

      I have to take my freedom wherever I can, even though I’ve been officially out of Fundyland for 14 years. Unfortunately, I’m married to someone whose religious practice is a combination of the SBC + OCD, which adds up to too close to Fundy. Fortunately, the OCD part keeps him too scrambled to read my Christian books and preferred websites (which definitely do not measure up to his rigid standards!) so I just keep on keeping on in spite of his efforts to put me back in “my place” (read: the prison where his OCD keeps _him_).

      1. Oh absolutely, the trads are intolerable! Its the same thing as being a fundie, only in Latin and with holy days of obligation (inside joke).

        I didn’t last. But I tried so HARD, really gave it my all. And I’m afraid I’m waaaay off the reservation now.

        Is this a Christian board, mostly? Or not? People here still seem quite religious to me.

        1. Many people are, probably a majority. I’m not, and there are others who are various stages of atheist-agnostic-Christian agnostic. Don’t know if anyone is part of another religion. The Christians here often assume this is a Christian space. 😉

        2. Like Naomi said we are a rather diverse group. All over the spectrum when it comes to our religious practices or lack there of. 😀 Darrell lays out what SFL is all about in the “About” tab if you want to read about it.
          (psst! george! what? she probably already knows that… we-l-l just thought I’d be neighborly and point it out oh… ok carry on don? yeah george? why are you shouting? oh, sorry)

    2. “The self-righteousness was a lot of fun while it lasted.” — that’s a great line right there.

      Self-righteousness was sure more appealling than humility and acceptance in my group was more enjoyable than rejection. But freedom in Christ and faithfulness to the Word of God is more important to me than the transitory pleasures of the self-righteous security I had before I left the IFB.

      1. I confess, I didn’t even know what “IFB” is. I have looked up SO MANY acronyms since reading this board! Lots of the inside terms that I have heard from BJU people are explained here, so that’s good. (THANK YOU FOR EXPLAINING ABOUT “MOG”!)
        If you ask them, they won’t tell you, but try to turn it around and save you, etc. A simple question like “What’s soul-winning?” will get you a sermon, not a direct answer, so after that happens a few times, you just stop asking. But I have always wanted to know what they were talking about.

        As I said, I would recommend a glossary, just like the fundie beliefs list. You guys might be able to have some real fun with it, too! (AND explain the meaning in the bargain, don’t forget!) YOOHOO, DARRELL, you might consider it!

        I’d love to read the regular (“official”) definitions alongside some wittier ones! Think about “urban dictionary”–you could have the “real definition” and then a host of “usages” or alternative meanings.

        It would be a big hit! 😎

        1. IFB – Independant Fundamental Baptist

          I’d never seen the acronym used until the past year or so, although the churches I’ve belonged to have always identified themselves with those adjectives.

  35. Back to the exodus from fundyland songs, someone posted my first selection, by twisted sister, and to that I will ad Bon Jovi’s “Have a Nice Day” and, Pink’s “Please, Please Don’t Leave Me”Nora Jones’ “Come Away With Me”

  36. And “What’s So Fun About Peace Love And Understanding?” Elvis Costello

  38. They would be the ones singing “Please Don’t Leave Me” and then, “I Want You Back” by the Jacksons and I would reply “Beat It” by MJ. Okay, I’m done but I LOVE music I could just go on and on.. 😈

  39. Daisy, Most people here are born-again Christians but then there are all kinds of people here from no faith to different faiths and from all walks of life and all ages but one thing is for sure is that there are a lot of very FUNNY, witty people here.. IFB means Independant Fundamentalist Baptist but sometimes I see IFBx which I don’t know what the x stands for. There is PK which is “preacher’s kid” and MK missionary kid.

    1. In IFBx, the X stands for extreme.

      It is often used to characterize those who believe things like KJVO, women never wearing pants (even skiing or in bed – no jammies only nighties), open-toed shoes are sinful, etc. Probably the definition of extreme differs with each person.

        1. I cannot express how happy I am tonight! 😀

          So overflowing with the love of God and so desirous of just humbling myself before Him and allowing Him to do as He wants with me. (It’s quite a mood swing from this morning.)

  41. Daisy, KJV King James version KJVO King James Version ONLY, NIV New International Version, Altar Call means at the end of a sermon the pastor calls the people to come down to the front of the church to kneel and pray due to something they figured out they had to change due to what they learned in the sermon. Separation means they are so holy that they don’t associate with less perfect christians.

  42. Daisy, SOTL stands for Sword of the Lord which is an IFB publication. BRR stands for Bill Rice Ranch a Deaf IFB camp that also hosts hearing people, The Wilds is some IFB camp so is Camp Joy. CCM means contemporary christian music which IFBs think is of the devil. Standards means all the man-made rules and regs that IFB churches expect their people to follow such as no pants on women, etc.

  43. Oh, Beth, that was absolutely HILARIOUS!! I bellylaughed and clapped my hands and the endorphines are flowing. Thank you, thank you. 🙂 😀 😆

  44. I had a fundy-free Sunday a few weeks ago. I went to church.

    It was one of the liberal ones. (The United Church of Canada is the largest Protestant denomination, which explains a lot why fundies don’t run this country.)

    They had substitute minister. The homily was awful. It was poorly delivered, but the theme was natural grace.

    I didn’t know any of the hymns, because I didn’t grow up in the UCC. They focused a lot on love and grace.

    The closing prayer was full of empathy for the poor and oppressed. Social justice is a big deal to the United Church. I didn’t succeed in fighting back the tears. The prayer more than made the service.

  45. And, no fundy free day is complete without DANCING!! Some suggestions Billy Idol’s “Dancing With Myself” and The Clash “Should I Stay or Should I Go?” and Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Real Gone”. The Ramones “That’s What I Like About You”. Come on people, bust a move on fundy free day! 😎

    1. Billy Ray Cyrus “Achy Breaky Heart”
      The Sylvers “Boogie Fever”
      Springsteen “Dancing in the Dark”
      Manfred Mann’s Earth Band “Blinded By the Light”
      And for those slow dances, Patrick Swayze “She’s Like the Wind”

    2. Why don’t IFB Baptists have sex standing up?
      Because someone might see them and think they were dancing! :mrgreen:

  46. “Please release me let me go
    I don’t love you anymore
    To live a lie would be a sin
    Release me, and let me love again.”

  47. I’m free, yeah, oh, I have been forgiven
    God’s love has taken off my chains and given me these wings
    And I’m free, yeah, yeah, and the freedom I’ve been given
    Is something that not even death can take away from me
    Because I’m free
    Jesus set me free
    -Steven Curtis Chapman, “Free”

  48. Actually, I did just that, without even reading the post. Sometimes, we forget how beautiful it feels to actually be able to do whatever we want with our lives! Silly things that I always wanted to do(like getting a tatto, going to live concerts, travelling)are possibilities that I never could have dreamt about before. It has been an agonizing journey, but I’ve really learned to embrace the freedom offered in Christ! Letting that freedom soak into my relationships with family, (that used to burden and drag me down) my relationship with God, and how I live my life, has been like an explosion of color to my blind eyes. Embrace the beauty and freedom that we have been given! 😛

    1. It’s so wonderful to finally EXPERIENCE the stuff we were always TOLD about but somehow couldn’t find under the law. Now we’re under grace and there’s so much freedom and beauty and joy.

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