Odds and Ends

Friday Challenge: Movie Titles

492 Comments

Today’s challenge is to alter a movie title to make it more attractive to an audience of fundamentalists.

Here are a few to start:

‘Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Who Dress Modestly’

‘The Cider House Rules Are Not Written Down Anywhere But You Should Obey Them Anyway’.

‘The 10,000 Commandments’

(many thanks to John who sent in this suggestion and most of the examples)

492 thoughts on “Friday Challenge: Movie Titles”

  1. 2001: a sermon odysey
    The man with the red KJV
    Honey I Shrunk the Bank Account on Missionary Night
    The Quick and the Sundayschool Teachers
    Live Free or Die Trying: The story of SFL posters.
    Joy Story
    Minority Report: Creationism Explained
    Busministry Quest
    The Mask
    The Son-In-Leagalism
    The Rear Pew
    Kidnapped: The story of fundy kids
    The African Queen-A missionary story
    Buscoach
    High Plains Preacher
    Paint Your Busses
    Hold Him High
    Robbing Hood
    Around the World in 80 days: an evangelist story.
    Preachy Preachy Bang Bang

  4. Many of Tom Hank’s movies don’t need a name change only a plot change:

    He Knows You’re Alone – The Ernie Willis Story
    The Money Pit – A Movie about Sacrificial Giving
    Nothing in Common – The problem with having friends outside the IFB
    Big –How to grow the World’s Largest Sunday School
    A League of Their Own – A training video for Preacher Boys
    Independent, Fundamental, King James preaching, Baptst-less in Seattle – A missions conference story
    That (Sinful) Thing You Do! – Documenting autoerotic pleasure
    Saving Private Ryan – with a “Holy Joe” Chick tract
    Cast Away –A cautionary tale about what can happen if you are not in the center of God’s will at all times
    Road to Perdition – Documenting the perils of the public school system, focusing on the Perilous hallway of Peril when a guy and girl are caught there alone.
    Catch Me If You Can – How to cover-up abuse in your ministry
    The Ladykillers – How the Hyles men see themselves

    And a non-Hanks bonus:
    The Holy Grail – How to earn your MRS. Degree at Fundie U.

  5. The Exorcism of Emily’s Rock Music
    —
    Dogs Don’t Go to Heaven (Unless They’re Saved)
    —
    50 First Potential Mates
    —
    My Very, Very, Very, Very Big Fat Baptist Wedding
    —
    (How) The Lost Boys (Got Found)
    —
    127 Souls Saved in an Hour
    —
    Mars Needs the Lord

  6. Classic adult films turned Fundy:

    Debbie Does Divinity School
    Preacher Boys In The Sand
    The Opening Of The Pastor’s Daughter
    Deep Throat Your Husband Even If You Don’t Want To
    Talk Holy To Me

  20. A few with no name changes, just plot changes:

    Earthquake (worldwide during the tribulation)
    Armageddon (war at the end of the tribulation)
    Sahara (Hell is even hotter than here!)
    Bruce Almighty (Story of a Fundy preacher man)
    National Treasure (Everyone knows that’s the KJV)
    National Treasure 2 (Hymnals)
    Congo (Story of some missionaries living in the forest)
    Jaws (Story about the closest buffet style resturant
    after church on Sunday)
    Deep Impact (A wish of what would happen – but doesn’t – after soul winning)
    Star Trek – Generations (Older people don’t understand why some younger people want to watch movies and are enamored by the stars.)
    Star Trek – Insurrection (The younger people sneak out to the movie houses)
    Star Trek – Nemesis (The older people try to teach the younger people that the stars are really their enemies.)
    Titanic (The size of the task to convert the world to IFB)
    Poseidon (A ship carrying people who make the mistake of believing in different Gods gets turned upside down. One finds a Gideon Bible, gets saved, and leads some others to Christ. These are the only ones who live)
    :mrgreen:

  24. Ok, this is way too many pages to read through, so if any of these have already been done, I repent in dust and ashes. 😀

    The Fantastic Four Gospels
    Kill Bill(y) Graham
    Mission Impossible 4: The Camel and the Eye of the Needle
    Saving Private Ryan’s Soul
    Brokeback Mountain: Praying Them Straight
    The Mummy: Lazarus Comes Forth
    Network 😀 😀
    Remember the Titans of the Reformation
    The Producers of Good Fruit
    Into the Wild to Win Souls
    What About Bob and His Walk With the Lord?
    Kick Ass: The Story of Balaam
    Volcano: God’s Judgement on the Gays

  25. Some more:
    Star Trek – First Contact (About a man’s first time street preaching in Beverly Hills)
    The Big One – The Great Los Angeles Earthquake (God’s judgement on a sinful city)
    Escape from LA (A movie star gets saved and has to get out of the “Hollywood life”)
    Fire Down Below (What hell is really like)
    Fire in the Sky (Jesus’ second coming)
    The Fire Next Time (What you’ll face if you don’t get right with the Lord!)

    1. People actually hand these out, thinking people will get saved reading them?! I think if I wasn’t a Christian, and was handed one of these, I would run the other way! 🙄

      1. They are very popular with fans of surrealist art, because they are so hallucinatory and unabashedly paranoid (both good things to the surrealist school of criticism).

  28. Ok, I wasn’t going to post this one, but I see that someone has already gone a similar route above.

    Debbie Does Her Devotions

  30. “Saving God” The amazing story of Pastor_________. (the greatest soul winner in all of history)

    1. That’s what I’ve thought every time I’ve seen that title on Netflix (used to be regularly recommended by netflix a couple of year ago to me). Hasn’t been lately.

      1. For a Christian-ize movie it really was pretty good. Not at all what you think from the title. I just thought the title just fit so well with this topic.

    1. Is this a different Jesse Jackson than I’m thinking of? The guy from Chicago the rhymes himself all the time, isn’t really a fundy.

      1. Jesse Jackson is a Baptist, but not a Fundy.
        I thought the point was that Fundies see him as some kind of demonic figure (like Blackula) because of his liberal politics.

      2. I know he’s not IFB but just couldn’t resist the temptation to throw it in anyway.

  35. Harry Ironside and the Chamber of Secrets: the renaming of Graves dormitory

  41. (Romans) Road to Salvation
    Green Mile: A Documentary of Prison Ministry
    My Big Fat Preacher at my Wedding

  42. Great stuff. I still have one more page to read, but for now I’ll add a few of my own…

    Meet The Pastor
    The Whole Nine Hours
    30 Going On 13
    Love Comes Harshly
    I Am Number One
    16 Block Walk To Church
    Bulletproof MoG
    Be Kind, Remind Them They’re Going To Hell
    Genesis Park
    The Lost World (because they didn’t believe the Genesis Park story)
    More Miserables
    The Mask Of Sorrow
    Ramona And Beelzebub
    Secondhand Liars
    Saints Like Us
    The Stand (for six hours)
    Dirty Hairy Homeless (I was gonna say Bums, but that might evoke the wrong image)

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