Today’s challenge is to alter a movie title to make it more attractive to an audience of fundamentalists.
Here are a few to start:
‘Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Who Dress Modestly’
‘The Cider House Rules Are Not Written Down Anywhere But You Should Obey Them Anyway’.
‘The 10,000 Commandments’
(many thanks to John who sent in this suggestion and most of the examples)
First!
2 days in a row! Congrats!
“Mildred Pierce Should Not Have Worked Outside the Home”
“The Thin Man Should Have a Thin Wife or She’s Not Right With God.”
“Hell Is For Heroes Because They Never Asked Jesus Into Their Hearts”
“To Have And Have Not Is Something You Should Let Your Pastor Decide For You”
“The Trouble With Angels Is That They Have More Authority Than Preachers”
Sink the Bismarck in a Cup of Coffee at the Men’s Prayer Breakfast
somebody has evidently already had their coffee. 🙂
Gotta go roast coffee in about half an hour! I am up and …..BUZZING!
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance Should Have Given Him the Plan of Salvation First.
<3
“Saving Private Ryan” – “Private Ryan Got Saved”
“No Dancing With Wolves”
“It’s a Wonderful Life” – When You Do Whatever the Man of God Tells You to do.
The Ten Commandments – It’s Just the Beginning
The Fellowship of all of those who believe and act exactly as we do. (and pretend a Catholic didn’t write the book)
True that! And if it’s a Saint you need to refer to, never use the correct title.
“The Best Little Church House in Texas”
“King James and the Giant Peach”
“Star Wars: Rapture of the Jedi”
“How Stella Got Her Life Right With Gawd”
“Tyler Perry’s House of Praise”
“The Crying at the Alter Game”
“He’s Just Not That Into You because you use an NIV”
“The Shawshank Redemption through outward good works”
“The Silence of the Lamb and Women in your churches”
“American History X as interpreted by Bull Gipp”
“Butch Cassidy and the Doctor Phil Kidd”
“The White Pianist”
“Apocalypse Now… Seriously, Now. Can’t you see how evil these days are…Really, and the earthquakes and stuff?”
Give the man an Oscar, I have tears I am so moved by these titles.
King James and the Giant Preach
“Pan’s Culottes”
“Mr. Smith goes to Hyles-Anderson”
“For a Few Dollars More…I won’t preach against your pet sin”
“Cool Hand Luke Chapter 16”
“soul winning Strangers on a Train”
“No Dogs Go To Heaven”
“Being J Frank Norris”
“Heavenboy 2 Army of Prayer Warriors”
I want to see “Being J Frank Norris”. That is a movie I’d love to see. If it were honest, then I don’t know how fundy friendly it would be.
Love “No Dogs go to Heaven”, you could go a lot of ways with that:
All Presbyterians go to Hell
All Catholics…
All homosexuals (but we won’t list lying with “those people”)…
All Jews…
The possibilities are endless…
“Latter Rain Man”
“Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of Patch the Pirate”
“Rosemary’s Baby needs to go to the nursery”
“The Princess Bride of Christ”
^love!
Or Pirates… Cursed BY Patch the Pirate.
All of the Slacker54321 comments are mine! I have had nothing but confusion since I got a gravatar!!!! GRRRRRR.
Nevermind, they all disappeared. What happened Darrell?
“Back to the Future-Why Culottes Are Mandated From The Bible”
“Roman Holiday-Not When There Are Catholics Around”
“Psycho-An Autobiography of (fill in your favorite pastor here)”
“Dazed and Confused-A Fundy Theology Primer”
“Singing(but not Dancing)in the Rain”
“12 Angry Men Who Sin Not”
“Lars and the Real Bible Believing, Christ Centered Girl”
“Whatever Happened to That Person Who Was Shipped?”
“True Confessions – Why You’ll Never Be a Prayer Captain”
“The Ten Commandments – First in a Trilogy”
“Shrocked” (for BJU people)
“The Color of Sin”
“Field of Visions of the Man O’Gawd”
“Waterworld – for Boys”
“Waterworld – for Girls”
“Romancing the Chaperon”
“The Sound of God Honoring Music”
“Hairspray” (for our Pentecostal friends)
“The Last Song Has a Thousand Verses Because Somebody’s Not Right With the Lord”
“Wine of Morning” – “Grape Juice of Morning”
“Patton” – “Hyles”
“So I Married an Axe Murderer” – “So I married a Preacher Boy”
“The Blob” – “The Bob”
“All the President’s Men” – “All the Pastor’s Men”
“Animal House” – “First Baptist Church of Hammond”
Oh my gosh! The first one on your list “Wine of Morning” to “Grape Juice of Morning” is absolutely hilarious. Thank you for this!!!! 🙂
“Footloose-Or Not, A Praying Knee and A Dancing Foot Don’t Belong on The Same Knee”
“Pan’s Culottes”
“The Sisterhood of the Traveling Denim Jumper”
WIN! Love. Love. Love.
“How to Train Your Dragon in the way that he should go so that when he is old he will not depart from it”
Like that one.
LOL
When Harry Courted Sally
Sisterhood of the Traveling Culottes
Bring Me The Tithe of Alfredo Garcia
The Lawrences to Arabia
Point 9 From Outer Space (for fundy sermonizers)
You, Me and Dupree The Chaperone
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Stopped Thinking and Learned to Love The MOG
While You Were Preaching
Anna and Her Husband, Her King
The Best Little Meetin’ house in Texas
Ferris Bueller’s Day Of Bus Visitation
Missionaries to the Caribbean: At World’s End
Evangelized in 60 Seconds
You’ve Got Mail in Your Juno Account
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead and In Hell
Look Who’s Talking in Church
Saving Brother Ryan
The Business of Annoying Strangers
Apocalypse Now!……..Okay Now!……….Now?……………..Definitely this fall then.
Fast Times at Homeschool
Me and You and Everyone We Know Attend Here
O Brother Where Were You Last Wednesday Night?
Blessed Number Slevin
The Truth About Bro. Charlie
Hammond Je T’Aime
The Blair Outreach Project
3:10 to Pensacola
Diary Of A Wimpy Liberal
Arlin Horton Hears a Who
Snow White and Her Seven Bus Routes
Invite Your Friends With Money
Bro. Sandler’s 8 Crazy Nights of Revival
“Cool Hand Luke chapter 16”
“The Good, the Bad, and those Presbyterians”
“The Man Who Knew Too Much Theology”
“Diatribes Are Forever”
It’s too early in the morning. 😥
Agreed, Tammy, but I am definitely enjoying this from those who can think early. ROFLMAO
Some of the people here are ridiculously clever.
Agreed. I am loving these comments!
“Raging Bull Gipp”
When Harry Courted Sally
Sisterhood of the Traveling Culottes
Bring Me The Tithe of Alfredo Garcia
The Lawrences to Arabia
Point 9 From Outer Space (for fundy sermonizers)
You, Me and Dupree The Chaperone
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Stopped Thinking and Learned to Love The MOG
While You Were Preaching
Anna and Her Husband, Her King
Ferris Bueller’s Day Of Bus Visitation
Missionaries to the Caribbean: At World’s End
Evangelized in 60 Seconds
You’ve Got Mail in Your Juno Account
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead and In Hell
Look Who’s Talking in Church
The Business of Annoying Strangers
Apocalypse Now!……..Okay Now!……….Now?……………..Definitely this fall then.
Fast Times at Homeschool
Me and You and Everyone We Know Attend Here
O Brother Where Were You Last Wednesday Night?
Blessed Number Slevin
The Truth About Bro. Charlie
Hammond Je T’Aime
The Blair Outreach Project
3:10 to Pensacola
Diary Of A Wimpy Liberal
Arlin Horton Hears a Who
Snow White and Her Seven Bus Routes
Invite Your Friends With Money
Bro. Sandler’s 8 Crazy Nights of Revival
“Boyz -n- the Hood need the bus minestry”
“Big Trouble in Little China because they are godless commies”
“True Grit- The Story of ____ (MoG here)”
“Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure at Bible Camp”
“Hellboy- The Story of Darrell”
“Wild Things- The Story of SFL posters”
“Transformers- The Change in my Life”
“Friday the 13th is a Good Day to be in church”
“Rocky- My Life after Fundamentalism”
Hellboy-The Story of Darrell!!!!
Brilliant!
debbie does devotions
You need a prize, Reader Mo! And if there were a “like” button I would probably wear it out on today’s post alone. Brilliant!
Ooh, ooh!
Debbie does Dave (Hyles)
Like Father, Like Son (The Hyles Chronicles)
YES!!!! Reader Mo is ON FIRE!
Dang it! I wake up in time!
I was going to go with Debbie Does Dallas Soulwinning.
OK, George, that should be “didn’t wake up”
Harry Potter and Why He Will Burn in Hell
Just saw HP and the Deathly Hallows last night at our city park. No denim jumpers anywhere! 😆
That shocks me. 😯
oh, wait…no it doesn’t 🙄 but hey, i used to be the same way. i thought anyone who read the books were at the best confused and weak in their faith and at worst a Wiccan.
Yes, I was like that too when I worked at Fundy U and went to their churches. Then I realized that EVERYONE who told me not to read the books or preached an emotional sermon about it had NEVER even read the books (I asked every one of them). Other normal people told me to read the books. Now we have all the books and the movies and the HP movie was our family excursion last night. I LOVE being normal now!!!! 🙂
Fundy Wars, Episode I: The Phantom Menace of Liberalism
Fundy Wars, Episode II: Attack of the Compromisers
Fundy Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Sinner
Fundy Wars, Episode IV: An Old Path
Fundy Wars, Episode V: The Soulwinner Strikes Back
Fundy Wars, Episode VI: The Return of Jesus (with short hair)
Win!
Fundy Wars, Episode VII: The False Awakening
When Harry Courted Sally
Sisterhood of the Traveling Culottes
Bring Me The Tithe of Alfredo Garcia
The Lawrences to Arabia
Point 9 From Outer Space (for fundy sermonizers)
You, Me and Dupree The Chaperone
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Stopped Thinking and Learned to Love The MOG
While You Were Preaching
Anna and Her Husband, Her King
The Best Little Meetin’ house in Texas
Ferris Bueller’s Day Of Bus Visitation
Missionaries to the Caribbean: At World’s End
Evangelized in 60 Seconds
You’ve Got Mail in Your Juno Account
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead and In Hell
Look Who’s Talking in Church
Saving Brother Ryan
The Business of Annoying Strangers
Apocalypse Now!……..Okay Now!……….Now?……………..Definitely this fall then.
Fast Times at Homeschool
Me and You and Everyone We Know Attend Here
O Brother Where Were You Last Wednesday Night?
Blessed Number Slevin
The Truth About Bro. Charlie
Hammond Je T’Aime
The Blair Outreach Project
3:10 to Pensacola
Diary Of A Wimpy Liberal
Dr. Horton Hears a Who
Snow White and Her Seven Bus Routes
Invite Your Friends With Money
Bro. Sandler’s 8 Crazy Nights of Revival
The Breakfast Club -> The Men’s Prayer Breakfast Club
saved and confused
*LIKE*
The Good, The Bad, and the Fungly ( could use help making a better Fundy/Ugly combo…)
I think Fungly is perfect. Fundamentalism is like a foul, festering fungus upon the soul.
(I am having trouble posting, hence the name change)
When Harry Courted Sally
Sisterhood of the Traveling Culottes
Bring Me The Tithe of Alfredo Garcia
The Lawrences to Arabia
Point 9 From Outer Space (for fundy sermonizers)
You, Me and Dupree The Chaperone
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Stopped Thinking and Learned to Love The MOG
While You Were Preaching
Anna and Her Husband, Her King
The Best Little Meetin’ house in Texas
Ferris Bueller’s Day Of Bus Visitation
Missionaries to the Caribbean: At World’s End
Evangelized in 60 Seconds
You’ve Got Mail in Your Juno Account
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead and In Hell
Look Who’s Talking in Church
Saving Brother Ryan
The Business of Annoying Strangers
Apocalypse Now!……..Okay Now!……….Now?……………..Definitely this fall then.
Fast Times at Homeschool
Me and You and Everyone We Know Attend Here
O Brother Where Were You Last Wednesday Night?
Blessed Number Slevin
The Truth About Bro. Charlie
Hammond Je T’Aime
The Blair Outreach Project
3:10 to Pensacola
Diary Of A Wimpy Liberal
Arlin Horton Hears a Who
Snow White and Her Seven Bus Routes
Invite Your Friends With Money
Bro. Sandler’s 8 Crazy Nights of Revival
Well done. I think your Dr. Strangelove outdid mine below.
“The Blair Outreach Project”—Heeeee! Well done!
Gone with the Wind -> Gone with the Blast of the Trumpet and in the Twinkling of an Eye.
the fat and the spurious
Yes! We have a winner!
How to berate a man into the sinners prayer in 10 days.
Hurt Pulpit
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bob
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Bomb Verses on Sinners
Your first one is hilarious!
From the Ice Cube franchise “Friday”:
Sunday
Next Sunday
(Could be about Billy or just a preacher getting his groove on)
The Gidfather
Platoon -> Platoon of Soul Winners
Mission Impossible -> Mission Impossible without the MOG
Pulpit Fiction
@Scorpio…What should be our in-flight movie today Captain? It’s Fundy Friday Flyer day. Should we keep the peace on board and show our Fundy passengers “A Soulwinning Superhero movie:10,000 Doors an Hour (iwasateenagefundy) so they feel secure during flight 🙂 or sucker punch’em and show “Hurt Pulpit” (by RobM)? 😈
We’ll do whatever you say Captain but remember yesterday was rough with Jonathan aboard….
Sincerely, 1st Stewardess Presbygirl
Presbygirl – You’re doing a fine job with your duties and any of the titles you selected could work. But when I’m in the cockpit, there is only one movie that will ever be shown:
Airplane!
Are you going to have the lasagna?
Do you have a problem with people calling you Shirley?
@Scorpio.. Yes sir Captain!
Excuse me, coming through..watch your shoulders and your legs (snack cart rolling). Would you like something to drink…the movie Airplane is to start..do you need a headset? They are $2…. 😀
Pastor Smith goes to street preach in Washington
Reservoir Mogs
fahrenheit 1611
win
My Big, Fat, Fundy Wedding
Yeah, most of the fundy women I knew didn’t have the skinny problem, quite the opposite.