156 thoughts on “A Doctor (or 14) In The House”

  3. Ha ha! If you ever setup a booth at that place, you’d need more than complimentary aspirin to hand out. You’d like about 5 high capacity memory cards for your camera! Soooooo much to shoot/document! 🙂

    I’m assuming no lucky guest post from someone attending this year?

      1. Sorry, I live less than a half hour away, but wouldn’t attend if my life depended on it. I’m still on the fence about whether or not to attend my upcoming class reunion from this place even though it’s at a bar…

    2. Don’t forget the waist high rubber boots and shovel, lots of big shovels!

      Maybe we could organize a field trip or bus trip in an old yellow school bus to this and attend as a group!

  4. Dr., Dr., Dr., Dr. . . . Reminds me of my college roommate, who jokingly referred to himself as The Most Humble Person in the World.

    1. My Husband just did a study on Humility at church with the kids. He had a 9 foot tall trophy called The Humility Award.

  7. Bunch of fake PhD’s. They start a school, then give their buddy a PhD. In turn, HE starts a school and returns the favor. Didn’t we call this a “circle ____”??

    2. I believe Rogin Williams Character in “Good Morning Vietnam” put it something like this. “Have you ever seen a more pathetic looking group of white guys in history, who are in desperate need of a Bob Jones… doctorate?” 😯

    3. if you check out the bio for “dr” fugate, he somehow skipped attending college at all and just skipped ahead to two honorary doctorates. stay classy.

  8. I remember being at one of these conferences and hearing one of the preachers scream that if you let your child marry an IFBer who believes in the Universal church, it’s the same as letting them marry a catholic. ❓

    1. And then people come on SFL and accuse US of bringing division to Christianity. 🙄

    3. I’d much rather marry a Catholic than one of these crazies, or universal church deniers…

    4. “… it’s the same as letting them marry a catholic.”

      He says that as if it’s a bad thing.

    5. Marrying a Catholic is the best thing I ever did!

      (And we are more fun, because we aren’t afraid to have a drink or dance or, you know, have fun in general)

        2. @ Alex: Yeah, when God said “Therefore shall a man leave leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh,” He forgot to mention that it’s the parent’s job to pick out which wife he should cleave to.

  10. Do any of them have an actual, earned doctorate? Our former pastor has an “earned” doctorate from a rinky dink online program. He signs everything “Rev. Dr. So N. So”. Makes me wanna barf.

    1. I believe that Shelton Smith has an earned doctorate from Luther Rice. Given its “unfortunate” SBC connection, he may not want that to be known though.

      1. Some of them probably have the D.Min. which my husband has told me is not very “academic”. A Th.D. or Ph.D. require much more work. (At my husband’s school, the candidate can choose whether he wants his degree conferred as a Th.D. or a Ph.D., but the work is identical.)

    2. I went to high school for a few years with “Dr.” Hamblin. The rigors of our Christian high school were too demanding, so he graduated someplace else. He did not attend college at all, but was allowed to teach at Midwestern Baptist “College”. Needless to say he has never done the academic work for a doctorate, as is the case with most, if not all, of these guys. A D.Min is an earned doctorate. An honorary doctorate is for show and is, frankly, dishonest.

      1. On honorary doctorate is for someone who already has a doctorate. A scholar might have 8 PhDs, and a few of them would be honorary. Not dishonest. They’re just taking a tire iron to use as a wind chime.

  11. (Dr)Gary Randall came from a Bible college in Montana that has literally 3-4 students at any given time. He is a HAC outpost. (blah) I can appreciate his testimony. He was a drug dealer in and out of prison in the 70’s. Too bad he was hijacked by these people.

    6. That was AWESOME! Wish we could do a version featuring the guys at that conference greeting each other. 🙂

    7. I wonder if the next big title in the fundy camps could be “rocket scientist” It seems this “doctor” thing is a little passe now that they all seem have one.
      I would like to meet one of these losers and ask what his disertation was about.

  13. I have nothing relevent to add, other than my stories about Gospel Light. When I was in Jr. High, my youth group went to a Youth Conference that they had at Gospel Light every year. One day we went to Cedar Point water park nearby. The girls could go from 4:30-6:00, and the guys could go from 6:00-7:30 or something like that. Even though the girls were there with no guys, we still had to wear dark t-shirts and long, dark culottes.
    In high school, they were our Christian School sports and Fine Arts rivals, and I had a crush on the younger Bobby. The cafeteria served bright pink hotdogs for lunch one day. That’s all.

    1. We had family friends at Gospel Light – they only stayed a couple years, and I don’t remember hearing any good stories from there

    2. Dang!! I was close, but I unfortunately know who Shelton Smith is. One of the most unnecessarily arrogant men I’ve ever encountered. He edits a “newspaper” nobody knows about. Sword of the Lord? What is that??

      1. What is it? Why, it is something that Al Mohler referred to in commencement as “theological pornography”. And that about sums it up.

  15. @Jim
    Exactly what I was thinking. I have never been prouder of myself than to realize that I know none of these guys.

  16. Men, we are here tonight because there are 2 things that we must NOT leave in God’s hands:
    1. The saving of souls.
    2. Revival

    -SOTL Conference, 2012

  17. OK, I’m going to repeat my proposal of the other day:

    Game: Choose famous Fundy “Doctors” and say what their dissertation topic would have been, if their doctorates were earned as opposed to honorary.

    Friday Challenge, Darrell?

  18. I’ve only heard of 4 of these guys. But most of these guys stay only on the East Coast or Midwest while I’m in SoCal enjoying the likes of Chappell and Trieber.

    1. Uggh…felt that pain before. Trieber spoke at a bulding fund dinner for our church, Central Baptist Church in Clovis Ca, Eldon Martens pastor, and said people ought to consider taking out a second mortgage for God’s work.

      1. Chappell sent out a mailer asking people to buy a brick for the walkway for the new athletic center at WCBC for $1000. A friend of mine said she could get a rock for $250

  19. I nominate Don to go to the SOTL conference this year and report back to us! All in favor say, “Aye”. 😆

        2. GL, Don! Make sure your flask is full every morning! It’s the only way to survive!

      1. Correction: It is likely that there is no way Don would be caught dead there. I only correct cause I don’t want to speak for Don.

        1. Phil, normally you would be spot on with your assessment but this is for the greater good, and since I believe this falls under the perview of SFIE it is my duty to go. That, and I believe that I am one of the closest geographically speaking. I may need intensive therapy come August…. “Once more into the breach…”

        2. @Don, + for Henry V. You may have to follow the rest of his command:
          “imitate the action of the tiger;
          Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
          . . .
          Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
          Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
          To his full height.”

        3. I pray it doesn’t turn into some Spiritual Charge of the Light Brigade:

          Fundies to right of them,
          Fundies to left of them,
          MOgs in front of them
          Volley’d & thunder’d;
          Storm’d at with shot and shell,
          Boldly they rode and well,
          Into the jaws of Death,
          Into the mouth of Hell
          Rode the two from SFL.           😎

    7. OY, the Mothership.
      That would be a challenge. Let me talk with another SFIE team member (who will remain nameless at this point). We may run an Infiltration Op on this one. I could only do the evening runs but… we’ll see.

      1. Ok, If we can work out the logistics and we go in, it will be a straight up recon patrol. Observe and report. We will not be there to create any subversion or anything. We will record what we can and report back.
        I’m still waiting to hear back from my other team member. Oy, it would be the Mothership… *sigh*

      3. Ok, I’ve heard back from my team member and we are a go, barring any unforeseen issues “Operation Mothership” is in-play: T- 27 days and counting.

        2. Don,

          You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have
          striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The
          hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you.

          Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well
          equipped and battle hardened. He will fight savagely.

          The tide has turned! The free men of the world are marching together to
          Victory!

          I have full confidence in your courage and devotion to duty and skill in
          battle. We will accept nothing less than full Victory!

          Good luck! And let us beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great
          and noble undertaking.

          (Some credit does go to Ike for the above 😆 )

  21. Too bad they aren’t ALL bros! This would look exactly like the character screen from Super Smash Bros. Aw man that would have been so awesome. Stupid fake doctorates ruin everything.

    1. this would be one sorry game of SSB. These guys speed, power and agility meters would be 0/10.

      Which one would you pick?

        1. That one was my pastor for the first half of my life! He can out scream anyone I’ve heard in the IFB and I’ve heard a LOT of them. He’s huge too – very intimidating. All that to say, good pick 😆

        1. hahahahaha… that’s awesome. unfortunately, if he were to have a real sword, he would sell it to buy nicer loafers or a new suit.

    1. You’ve obviously not sat in the front row when a spitting preacher is getting good and revved up.

      1. Sweatin’, Spewin’, Slobberin’, Slammin’ Sammy!

        Who needs holy water when you gan get a shower of blessing!

        There shall be showers of blessing:
        This is the promise of love;
        There shall be seasons refreshing,
        Sent from the Pastor above.

        Showers of blessing,
        Showers of blessing we need:
        Sweat-drops round us are falling,
        But for the showers we plead.

  23. Iknew of a pastor who had an honorary doctorate. Everyone called him Dr. So and so. I heard that he liked to use that title when he went out to eat because he could get in quicker because they thought he was an important medical doctor.

  24. *Bro. Sam Davison*… awkward. At least if he had the title Pastor he’d have something to brag about.

  25. Anyone else noticing a recurring theme on these conference ads of pasting in some form of Psalm 12:8-9, the great KJVO proof-text?
    Of course, on this flyer, its Psalm 12:89!

    1. ack… didn’t look closely enough, it’s actually 119:89. But the similarity is there.

  26. Ok…while SoTL Conference isn’t something I really wanna go to any time soon, and I don’t agree with some of Fundamentalism’s errors, I gotta say something in defense of my pastor here. R. B. Ouellette HATES being called “Dr.”

    He’s told the story a few times of how he got it. He didn’t even show up at the “ceremony” to accept it lol, and he really doesn’t care. He’s one of the most down to earth people once you get to know him, and a very biblical preacher. I love and greatly respect him.

    1. I have heard him preach twice.
      – “biblical preacher”
      – “Down to earth”
      – “Hates being called “Dr.”

      Not buying it for a second! Who are you trying to fool? If you don’t want to be called Dr. then just drop it and inform folks to stop.
      “Soul Winning” is ALL he talks about. I recall lots of I’s and my church and what we did in Michigan. Please…. 😕

    2. Hello there Drewski… I know the man very, VERY well (and probably you too, actually…) and I’ve heard him call himself “Dr.” on many an occasion. And humble is not a word I would use to describe him. Have you seen his house recently? His church (as you probably know) is in one of the poorest areas of the nation, many of his congregants are dirt poor, and he lives it up.

  27. I agree with Drewski. I have heard R.B. Ouellette several times and even went to school with his daughter. He is a genuine guy, doing his best to serve Jesus.

    1. I have heard him many times, went to school with his younger daughter, know his older daughter, and the man is a giant legalist. I wouldn’t dare call his preaching Biblical, although I don’t doubt his sincerity, he’s leading people to be close-minded, uber-conservative music, KJV only robots.

      1. Ironically, he doesn’t claim to be KJVO, at least he won’t when you talk one on one with him. He may change that stance depending on who he’s preaching to, but I know he personally owns other versions.

    2. I’ve know Katie and Karissa since birth, and Karissa is one of my favorite people on the planet. Very sweet. But they’re still very close-minded about religion. Most of my IFB trauma came from that church.

    4. @WCBC Dropout: Yes! When were you there? I am also curious to know. I was at WC from 07-11. Just graduated.

      @Kaje: Yeah, Pastor Ouellette ain’t perfect, and we disagree on some points, like music, and some standards, but I will say one thing: you are wrong about his attitude towards money. You insinuate that he’s some fat-cat skimming off all these poor folk. He’s not. Yeah, I’ve been to his house several times. It’s nice, but so what? God has blessed him. He hasn’t been a “Sheriff of Nottingham” figure robbing his congregation to get that house.

      He just recently stated, during our mission’s emphasis, how that in the past few years, he’s given the majority of his salary back into the church, missions, and benevolence. That does not sound like the actions of someone who is a rich, selfish jerk.

      1. His salary might be meager, and I do find it interesting that he lets people know about his generous giving :roll:, but he sure likes to travel and earn $$$$$ from other churches…and likes those all expenses paid cruises too.

        Of course, if you compare his financial ambition to his good friend, Paul Chappell, he won’t appear so grand. Chappell lives LARGE. Cha-ching!

        1. Correct on all counts. He used to say from the pulpit exactly how much money he was putting in the offering and made a show of it. 😯

      2. I happen to know that 90% of his house payment is paid by the church, all his utilities as well. All his travel expenses are paid for, plus spending money and extravagant gifts. I also know that he pays (or paid for a long time) his wife and girls when he was gone, which shows that his view of money is money = love/time, which is scary for a pastor. Sure, he may get a small-ish salary, but what does he have to pay for? His numerous cars? His 4-wheelers? Maintenance for his pool and/or large pond and yard? I’ve never seen such a large home and property owned by any pastor, and I’ve seen plenty of “parsonages.” I happen to know that there are plenty more places the money that is used for his house could go for in his church.

      3. oh and PS Drewski, I know more about the finances of that church than you’ll ever know, I guarantee you. You won’t want to argue with me there.

        1. I know I am a year late to the party and this probably won’t be seen but I too was raised in R.B.’s church. I am several years older than Kaje but I was able to figure out his/her identity… he/she really DOES have first hand knowledge of the finances of the church/pastor. It is funny but I was just commenting to my husband this afternoon how he lived it up and basically got the church to pay for *whatever* he wanted/needed, including excesses, then I came across this.

  28. Okay, I am not reading all these other posts till after I say this, I want to keep my brave face on.

    I got a B of Pastoral Theology from a Fundy school. I didn’t mind so much that it only took 1.5 years, because I had spent 5 years previously in seminary and bible college before I went to it, and I really studied hard doing correspondance work, listening to cassettes (yes it was that long ago), and thought I had accomplished something in fundyland. I was convinced that getting a doctorate through this method would be the way to go
    -but then I noticed all the “Dr.’s” that got degrees from the school (not telling, don’t ask- it’s probably in the forum somewhere anyway) and their inability to properly exegete scripture, preach the gospel, and actually write something coherent, I realized that I would be better served not going back. I am now older…and I plan to try and go to a REAL school and get a REAL degree and if the Lord will let me, get a graduate degree. I however will not go for a Doctorate, it almost seems pointless,.
    This will be difficult because I have 6 kids, a mortgage, and i live in the middle of nowhere.
    However, I am willing for a multi-millionaire to gift me with about 200k and i will gladly quit my job and go to school!

    (waits for the check that I am sure is in the mail because of Faith Promise Missions giving….)

    1. (waits for the check that I am sure is in the mail because of Faith Promise Missions giving….)

      You and me both, brother.

      If I were independently wealthy I would probably never leave school. I love it.

  29. I would be mighty interested in reading one of their “dissertations”.

    Scratch that, I would be mighty interested in seeing them attempt to read a dissertation from an actual doctor of theology.

    1. I would be mightily interested in seeing them attempt to read Green Eggs and Ham

  30. Do you think any of them would be up to reading St. Thomas Aquinas? St. Augustine? I’ll bet these Doctors have never heard of the classical theological works, both Protestant and Catholic, written over the last couple of thousand years.

    Of course, if it’s just “Jesus, The Bible and me” you just are not going to break through that wall of ignorance where you interpret the Bible any old way you want, and every man’s his own Pope.

    1. And a history lesson wouldn’t hurt either! I took a New Testament history class and my professor had never heard of The Trail of Blood. I brought in a copy for her and I thought she was going to have an aneurysm.

  31. Dr. John Hamblin looks mad, he must be going for the Phil “Karate” Kidd look.

      1. Hamblin is an evangelist. Don’t you know that the best evangelist have to look mean or be in a shouting pose in all of their PR photos? Just google Tony Hutson. Its a rule, ya know.

  33. I’m not sure if this has been mentioned but, I’m sure that Sam can have a “Dr” if he wanted one, and no doubt has been offered several but I’m guessing that he is taking the position of Pink and is refusing any such title. Pink considered the title of “Brother” a much higher title than “Dr”.

    1. Ahh, AW Pink. Revered by all in Sam Davison’s circle. That being the local church only crowd. Pink can be convincing because he is actaully an intelectually deep writer…. but that doesn’t make him right.

  34. I know Joe Arthur, Norris Belcher, Shelton Smith, and John Hamblin. Bro. Hamblin is usually entertaining to listen to anyway. Except for his recent graduation sermons >.<

    Maybe Bro. Sam Davison will get an honorary doctorate at the conference 😛

  35. Where’s the token black guy, or maybe a black man would be too controversial? Usually these things have one Mexican or Phillipino guy in the mix to show that IFB’s are cross cultural.

    1. I have never seen black guys as speakers in these IFB conferences, EVER. Can you imagine the day when, never mind, it would never happen… 🙄

  37. Interesting how these guys seem to take to heart Jesus’ saying that they were to call no man the title ‘Father’, but apparently don’t care about him saying to call no man by the title of ‘Teacher’ (And that’s what ‘Doctor’ means- It means Teacher)

  38. My former pastor finally made it to the big leagues again this year. Speakin at “The Sword”! It always seemed like a goal of his. In fact, as I look back through the years I was there, it seems that many of the decisions he made, the things he put into place, the beliefs and standards he adopted, the sacrifices and tasks he asked of his people were merely to one day be recognized and then invited to speak by this spiritually-elite haymen-fest. This is no different than a caesar, king or dictator having his subjects toil to erect grand buildings and statues of themselves. It’s all man and self-worship.

  39. AHHHHH, I don’t attend any religious institution that has NOT ONE SINGLE FEMALE in a position of authority. What is this the stone age?

Comments are closed.