Standards

Commandments Concerning Women’s Jewelry

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Likewise also let your women observe these commandments which were given aforetime by our fathers and keep them with all shamefacedness (once you look it up and find out what that is) that they sin not in the adorning of themselves with jewels and precious metals or whatever poor substitutes they can afford on a full-time ministry salary.

And if it shall enter thy heart to wear jewelry upon thy head, thou shalt in any wise wear an earring, for this is the jewelry that hath been sanctified and the piercing of ear lobe flesh is no big deal to us. However, of the piercing of the ear, the number of the piercings in thy ear lobe shall be only one hole. But if thou are hard of heart and care not about thy testimony, you may have a maximum of two holes in thy lobe but that is really pushing it. But any piercing in thy ear that is not of the lobe is completely out of the question and I can’t believe you would even ask, you brazen hussy.

And the adorning of the nose and the lip and the eye brow and various and sundry places about thy person which we are far too tasteful to spell out, thou shalt in no wise do it. For we do not wish people to mistake you for a godless heathen from Seattle or a CCM singer. And why wouldst thou adorn thy navel with gold and silver and precious stones unless thou plan to put it on display at some point? This is abomination in our sight and grave wickedness.

And of the adorning of the feet we give this command: don’t. For the chain and the bracelet that ensnare thy limb and the rings that shall encircle thy little piggies are the very wiles of Satan to draw away men’s hearts. And it shall come to pass that if a man gaze upon your feet, then shall his eyes inevitably head northward and shall be smitten with the allure of thy culottes and nothing good shall in any wise possibly come of this.

And thou shalt be allowed a wedding ring and perhaps one or two other rings but don’t get all wild and crazy with it lest we be wroth with thee and talk about thee behind thy back at the church picnic. For in all these commandments we do strive to bring unity, and circumspection, and show the world that we are true Christians. For as our Lord said, by these list of rules shall all men known that ye are my disciples.

Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements, page 191

192 thoughts on “Commandments Concerning Women’s Jewelry”

      1. Actually, it’s a curse: I slipped on some black ice in the parking lot shortly after I “1sted” this post….that’s what I get for wearing so much jewely like “brazen hussy”, I reckon. 🙂

        1. The weight of the jewelry must have thrown you off balance. Blame the Chinese (per Camp Meeting Girl’s testimony).

        2. Well, the only way to rectify the situation is wash all your makeup off (yeah, we know you’re wearing some), take off all your jewelry, brush your hair all out, and put on 8 more yards of fabric.

          Then, though shalt be redeemed.

        3. If you follow Natalie’s directions, at least you’lll have better padding next time you slip on the ice… 😉

  2. Very amusing post! I was just with some people who I’m always kind of taken back how fundy they are when it comes to stuff like this over the weekend watching some basketball. Take away: They do *NOT* like tattoos in that family. No sir. I wouldn’t even broach the subject of “unorthodox jewelry”! 🙂

    1. I always wondered how fundies could magically figure out where to stop when it came to jewelry.

      As far as tattoos, if you were at HAC and already had a tattoo, you had to either keep it covered with clothing or big bandaids. No joke.

      1. IDK what PCC rules where. I’m certain they had rules about them. I know some guys had them from the armed forces, and would keep them covered outside the dorm rooms. I had other rules I was focused on breaking as often & and blatantly as possible! 🙂

      2. In that case I would look like Boris Karloff in the old B&W version of the “Mummy”….

  3. Yeah, one earring was pushing it, and two earrings was NOT allowed. Lots of girls I knew couldn’t wait to get out of the house, just to get that second earring against their parent’s wishes. I’m serious. I also heard the crap about how an anklet will draw a man’s attention to the wrong parts of your body. 😆

    1. Because there are parts of a body that are wrong. And there’s nothing wrong with the fundy men drawing attention to their ankles area with white socks & dress shoes, or dress socks with shorts & tennis shoes.

    3. I wore a silver anklet at BJU and never had and problems. And yes, I wore it over my “hose”. I don’t remember if they had a rule against it or not.

  5. Or as in the case of our former fundy church: Unless thou be a woman of thee family that giveth hundreds of thousands of dollars to thee building fund, then sister, thou may adore thee self as much as thee would like.

  6. This is a perfect example of how fundies make up rules but ignore what the Bible actually says (the bit about getting mad at someone and gossiping behind her back). Gossiping is clearly a sin in Scripture, and yet it is rarely condemned and often runs rampant in churches. 🙁

    1. About making things up… my sister, who goes to a fundy college in Pensacola, knows a girl who’s family won’t let the daughters wear sleeping pants and t-shirts in front of their brothers. Their reasoning: so the brothers won’t have impure thoughts.

      My first thought was if the brothers have impure thoughts about their sisters, there is a much bigger problem at hand.

        1. But trust me that I know what I’m talking about when I say that IF a brother had impure thoughts about his own sister in “sleeping pants,” the fundies would blame it on her sin of wearing pants and NOT on his corrupt and warped mind. And that’s SICK.

        2. My sister wasn’t allowed to wear tank tops at home because my brothers might lust. My brothers, upon hearing this justification, thought that was crazy and sick. 😆

        5. @Big Gary, I’m assuming “sleeping pants” is the fundy word for pajamas. I gave you the exact wording of the conversation of my sister and her friend.

          Although pajamas have as many different definitions as there are people. I just thought it was weird they couldn’t wear pants in front of their brothers inside their own home.

      4. 😯 If the parents are worried the boys will think that way, then the parents are thinking that way.

    1. No kidding! My parents thought pierced ears were worldly (I wore clip earrings if I wore any), but while reading through the Bible like they always encouraged me to do, I found that verse! I remember thinking, “Hmmmm!!!”, but I knew better than to challenge my mom and dad on that. Fundy Rule #63 in full display here. Anything from the OT they don’t agree with is dismissed – “Culture changes” – while for them, culture seems to have frozen in the 1950s.

      1. It’s curious that most translations say the servant put a ring in Rebekah’s “nose”, but the KJV and the Douay-Rheims say he put “earrings” on her “face” (not clear if “face” means “ears” here). For the hard-core legalists, here’s enough reason to split into different churches.

        1. I’ll be joining the nose ring crowd. I don’t want any association with those face piercing freaks! 🙂 j/k to any/all freaks.

        2. Ears aren’t technically part of the face, though; your face would look weird without them, true, but they’re attached to your head not your face. So bring on the nose rings!!! 😛 😛

  9. I love the contrast between the Biblical sounding phrases and the sudden, jarring descent into contemporary vernacular.

    And that last line is a killer! That was my life in fundamentalism.

    1. oh my goodness, PW, I posted almost the same thing below before reading the comments! I wish I could hang out with you.

    2. Amen sister. The fundie part of me that won’t die found the whole phrasing of this post familiar and comfortable. 🙂

  11. I heard some very interesting things at a Single’s Retreat a few years ago. I don’t remember the speaker’s name, but he was a famous evangelist who had been won to the Lord by someone who was a counselor at Bill Rice Ranch one summer. He said that we all need to consider a few things when we wear jewelry: during an atomic explosion, if we are far enough away, we may live through it but any jewelry we have on our body will meld to our skin in overwhelming pain; more young people have had infection and amputations of the outer ear areas and had more infections in their belly buttons from extra piercings in the last twenty years than ever before (he said it could be that the Chinese make all the jewelry and are slowly trying to kill a generation of Americans); and he said that people get more piercings to look more unique, but they just manage to look like every other human pincushion on the planet.

    So, if you want to be an individual, dress modestly and don’t adorn yourself as the world. They will know we are Christians by our ATTIRE.

    I don’t have my ears pierced because the only places you can do it in the mall have rock music playing and jewelry with Playboy Bunny ears on them. So, until a Christian opens a modest jewelry boutique, I am stuck with the clip-ons my grandmother Joanie gives me. She makes them herself from old necklaces she finds at yard sales. Some of them I never wear because they smell like cats.

    1. I had never thought that jewelry might be a Chinese plot to kill all the Americans. That’s probably what it is.

    3. LOL cmg! Well done. The biggest problem one could have being close enough to an atomic bomb/meltdown to melt metal is definitely going to be the very painful areas of that hot jewelry on your skin. I think I’ve heard that preached a few times! 🙂

    4. How do you even know playboy exists. Have you not been practicing separation? Perhaps you boyfriend has been tempting you to assume those lewd poses by showing you pictures. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

      CMG, I am very concerned about the danger of hypocrisy in you life.

      1. We had an Evangelist named David Benoit come to our youth group weekend retreat (which we did with several other churches who are not from this area but we are not separated from) and he showed us the pagan origins of a lot of ‘innocent’ symbols. I had no idea that bunnies, frogs, and butterflies were being adapted by all kinds of worldly organizations to make their activities appear harmless. But, now we will not be fooled!

        He said that he was street witnessing one time and he met a guy who was a tattoo “artist”. He asked what the most popular tattoo was. The guy said butterflies. I had NO idea that butterflies were symbols of promiscuity!!! I have had to make sure that none of my arts and crafts have any butterflies on them! That is very difficult to do in the crafting world.

        1. David Benoit! Perfect! I learned so much about which Rock and Roll bands I should be trying out from that man’s video series on music. Great response CMG

  15. I recently saw someone from my old fundy church. He pointed at my nose and said “you’ve got a little something on your nose” and I smiled said “Oh, you mean my nose stud?” and he gave me a teasing but still disapproving look, so I said “Then I won’t show you my tattoos. ” 😉

    3. And you just KNOW that somewhere, sometime his interaction with you will be used as a sermon illustration – showing just how far people fall after they leave the safefy of the fundy compound.

      🙄

  17. Are you sure you’re using the very latest edition of Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements? Because I think they just issued another one last week.

    1. Yeah BUT. Those congregations that are not following the 1960 version of the Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements are clearly on the Wide Road to Hell.

  18. Hi, my name is Jenni, and I have three piercings in each ear.

    [Hi, Jenni!]

    I know my pastor said it was worldly to want that many piercings, but after sitting behind his family in church for several weeks and noticing his daughter’s 3 piercings, I just wanted to be like her …

    [Seriously, the pastor’s kid at my old IFB church does have three piercings. I do, too, but I chose not to wear all three earrings while I was there – makes things simpler not to make waves sometimes.]

      1. A snuffet is a rare creature. It’s furry body and long nose resemble that of an anteater; only, the snuffet doesn’t eat ants. It’s primary function in the animal world is to eat the breaths of other animals; this is why you might see animals dead in the forest for no apparent reason. The reason they are rare is because they also like to eat each other’s breaths, thus why they tend to stay away from one another and you only see one at a time. They got the name “snuffet” when Charles Darwin used one to snuff out a candle.

    2. Lob the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch at them and they shall be blown to bits—in thy mercy.

      2. You did remember to count to three, I hope.
        ” And the Lord spake, saying, “First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. ”
        😆

      3. Im still waiting for the time when the SFL family will feast on sloths and orangutans.

        Lord bless this thine hand grenade that with it thou mayest blow thine enemy to tiny bits…in thy mercy

  20. When I was in high school, there was a debate among the teens about whether or not having your ears pierced constituted self-mutilation. Even then, I was a curmudgeon, so I said it was. Nonetheless, almost all the girls, and a few of the boys, got their ears pierced. Yes, only a few of the boys did– this was a long time ago.

  21. I think there’s a misprint in the IBBERR:
    Shouldn’t it say “… which we are far toO DIStasteful to spell out”?

    I imagine the proofreader was too upset by the very idea of such things to catch the mistake.

    1. No, wait, I missed the “we” in that sentence. But it should still be, “… we are far TOO tasteful to spell out …”

  22. “shall be smitten with the allure of thy culottes”

    BWAHAHAHAHA! Best line ever.

    When I interviewed for a Christian school teaching job, a board member asked me how I would explain my double ear piercings to my impressionable students. I said, “If they even NOTICE or CARE, I’ll say it’s a matter of personal taste.” He kind of scowled a bit and they moved on to the next question.

    1. Wrong answer.

      The correct response: I got them before I was saved, Lord have mercy on my soul. I totally regret it now. 😈

      So, did you get the job?

      1. Ha! Yes, I got the job. I kind of had an “in” – my aunt was the former administrator, cousin was the current administrator, grandpa was the pastor emeritus, etc. etc. This guy was a fundy caught in a very non-fundy Baptist church/school environment. He was pretty much out-numbered – it was kind of funny actually to see his reaction when he realized that everyone else in the room couldn’t have cared less how many earrings I had.

        A couple years later, I did get “spoken to” about my skirts being too short. 😉 Not by him, though – he was gone by then.

        1. I have often wished I’d had a camera for those looks when a fundy assumes he is so inherently right no one could dream to think anything else. Especially re whatever beloved “standard”. Realizing you aren’t going to win, and everyone questions your sanity must be tough, but I have a hard time sympathizing.

  23. What I heard growing up was “Cannibals have pierced ears!” implying that nobody else did. Of course in our industrial area of the 50s and early 60s, pierced ears were only seen in immigrant (catholic) neighborhoods. I remember my mom and grandma taking their clip on torture devices off of their ear lobes after church, exclaiming “Whew”. Yet they condemned those savages who would rip metal through flesh and have it hurt for…what…a very short time. (Besides, God made women to suffer. That’s why he invented girdles and corsets and clip ons.)

    1. I don’t think I know any cannibals (unless there are some closet cannibals who haven’t come out), but I know a bunch of people with pierced ears and pierced what-have-you. Many of them are vegetarians, so getting holes poked in their skin doesn’t seem to have turned them into “humanitarians” (vegetarians eat vegetables, so humanitarians eat —-). People are still way too meaty to be on their menu.

  25. Half the people (men & women) in Seattle, have at least the amount of piercings that is shown in the picture and a gazillion tattoos,too. Fundies would have a mental meltdown

    1. 20 or 30 years ago, that was a distinctive thing about Seattle, but now it’s true pretty much everywhere.

    2. Ah, yes, Seattle; the home of Massive Sin (MS).

      They need a good fundamental church there.

      1. There would be a total riot, especially in Capitol Hill area, if anyone knows what I’m talking about 😆

  27. Don’t witness to them. We don’t want them to become members and give the impression that we approve of such things.

  28. I attended an IFB school back in the 80’s when huge earrings were very popular (thank you Madonna), and especially wearing a different earring on each ear (thank you Martha Quinn). We got away with it for a while, until the school passed a rule that our earrings could not be larger than 1/4″ in diameter! That was an absolute travesty in 1985. And we could only have one earring on each ear, of course.

    I didn’t realize the 1/4″ rule was in the Bib–er, I mean the IFBBERR. I’m so glad the school straightened us out on that one, so we teenage girls wouldn’t be a bunch of compromisers.

  29. Hilarious post. I love the combo of KJV-style language with modern idioms . . . cracked me up.

    I wsa not allowed to have pierced ears AT ALL because “heathens poke holes in their bodies to worship their gods.” When I did finally get my ears pierced (at 30), I made sure to find a place that would conduct a nice heathen ritual for the event . . . I mean, I went to the mall.

    1. I did it myself with a large sewing needle. I waited til my folks were away for several weeks, and had my hair hiding my ears. When they came back home, I only needed to wear earrings at night to keep them open. They healed up fine, and I never wore earrings around them for the longest time.

    2. Sarah, I was going to say the same thing about the combination of language. And about the heathen ritual… A fundy ‘friend’ on FB recently posted as her status about how brokenhearted she was about all the wickedness she saw the last time she HAD to go to the mall and how she couldn’t get out of there quickly enough. Someone else commented about how close the commendable testimony of said person because she couldn’t stand to be around such wickedness. Yeah, I keep them on my friends list because their conversations are quite entertaining. 😆 🙄

      This post made my day! Thanks, Darrell!

      2. Funny, the last time I went to the mall it just struck me as crowded, loud and pretentious.

    3. @Sarah, too funny! I too didn’t get my ears pierced until I was 30! (My parents had actually said I could choose for myself at 18, but I had started BJU by then, and I just never got around to doing it.)

  30. This might sound dumb, but it has never really occurred to me until now that anyone would consider it a spiritual problem that I have three piercings in each ear lobe! I bet my fundy ex-MIL just LOVED that about me- especially since I tend to wear enormous earrings in the lower hole. I am sure she thought I was worldly beyond redemption. Good thing she never knew about my naval ring! 😀

      1. Haha, whoops! I guess that particular typo really does change the meaning, huh? No, I only got all my tattoos while I was in the Navy 😆 j/k! The piercing was just an unfortunate teenage decision!

  31. Ignore the “how close” in my previous comment. I obviously didn’t proof before posting. 😳

  32. Darrell, you have outdone yourself. Two enthusiastic thumbs up.

    “For we do not wish people to mistake you for a godless heathen from Seattle or a CCM singer.”

  33. “Independent Baptist Book of Everlasting Rules and Requirements, page 191”

    I love it when he does these….

  34. My dad wouldn’t let us girls get our ears pierced.
    I got mine when I went back to my (fundy) college.
    My younger sisters still don’t have theirs pierced, but I’m taking my next youngest sister to get it done her 18th birthday 😛 My mom doesn’t mind last time I checked…..

    I never heard pierced ears preached against, but we could only have one earring per ear in college, and had to be smaller then a quarter *eye roll* I love wearing my big ones to church.

  35. Darrell, the mastery of both the art of satire and the levitical genre in this post is nothing short of brilliant!

    I can’t help but give you another
    ARRRRRRRRGGH! left over from yesterday

    Have an extra shot of rum for your efforts today!

  36. Please do one on tattoos, Darrell. If you haven’t already.

    I want to get a tattoo, one I’d design myself that includes a Bible verse in the design. When I gave my dad a hypothetical “what would you think if I got a tattoo” question, he and his friend (whose house we were at) said things along the lines of “No, it’s the sign of a tramp back when we were young,” etc. etc.

    It’s like they haven’t met people younger than them with tattoos who aren’t tramps. Or else they don’t bother to get to know them, because they have tattoos which means that they’re really tramps. *sigh*

    I’m still gonna get a tattoo when I leave the house anyway. XD

    1. just avoid crack antlers, those just don’t work for anyone.

      (my less delicate friends call it a tramp stamp)

      Maybe use the verse about not getting any permanent marks?

        1. I like that even better than “tramp stamp.” “Crack antlers” works with at least two meanings of the word “crack.”

    3. I would seriously consider a tattoo if only I could figure out what to get and where to put it. There’s also the pain factor. Regardless I think some ink would go nicely with my double pierced ears. Scandalous, no?

      1. I got inked a few years ago (a really nice irish harp in case you’re wondering) and it wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d been told. Just felt like a healing burn when I was getting it, the worst part was when the artist (and she was a true artist, really made the design I wanted come to life) used the antiseptic spray on it. YIKES! That did sting, a lot but once it was over I was really happy with it.

      2. As you can guess from previous posts, I have a liking for body art. There is some pain involved, but it is temporary and I think it is worth it. The shoulders and outside of the arms are probably the easiest places to get inked. The insides of the arms expecially the inside upper arm) chest and back hurt a lot more (especially over and around the spine). The stomach is worse. The most painful place would be the rib-cage. Getting inked there is not a lot of fun.

        1. BTW I think of my tattoos as my “Pharisee Detectors.”
          I think every Christian should have them.

  37. You made me smile and forget my pain. Thank you oh funny one. But know you have me wanting to write in KJV/modern English. Oh well.

  38. 6 months ago, our ‘brother’s board’ was talking w/a perspective new church member.

    the guy was a professing christian, had been to bible school, done interim pastor work, etc. they asked him if he would talk to his wife, since “if you become members, you know we don’t wear jewelry, right?”

    They stopped attending quite so frequently, and are currently going to a charismatic church. At least no one tries to dress/undress them there.

    I still kick myself for not speaking up.:evil:

    We do NOT have a list of clothing rules, no matter how much some (of the men… or old ladies of both sexes) would like to.

    1. “Old ladies of both sexes”? Sounds pretty progressive for a church that doesn’t even allow jewelry.

      1. 🙄 The male version exists. Trust me, I have met them. And they’re worse that the females.

    2. Fundamentalists never stop obsessing about dressing and undressing others.

      1. It’s always about outward appearance, even though Jesus warned about cleaning the outside of the cup while the inside is still filthy.

        1. I think James also had a little to say about the topic. I got a lot of the “stand thou there.”

  39. Hahah! A friend used to affectionately refer to a 16-year-old guy who had piercings just about everywhere as “Christmas Tree” even to his face. Of course, it didn’t bother him, he knew she was just kidding him.

  40. It is a shame that Christians poke fun of “fundies”. 🙄 We are to do all things in moderation. Let the Holy Spirit guide you into all truth. There are no set rules in the scriptures as to how much or little to wear. Moderation is the key. If it draws so much attention to “it” instead of you, if one can’t help but stare at the ring on your tongue because it makes you talk with a lisp, then my friend, you need to reconsider! I would rather hang around a “fundi” any day, than one who claims to be a christian and you can’t tell it by their actions or dress. “Come out from among them and be ye separate, saith the Lord.” I can wear it or do without it. It seems there are folks out there that feel they half to have it to fit in or find their “idenity”.

    1. I would rather hang around a “fundi” any day, than one who claims to be a christian and you can’t tell it by their actions or dress.

      It’s easy to spot an undercover fundamentalist because of their horrible logic. In this case, we have a false dilemma: either you hang around the fundamentalist or the [assumed] non-Christian. It is not hard to see that this case is much more nuanced than Jamie has presented it to be.

      I would rather hang around someone who acts like a Christian, regardless of how they dress. Unfortunately, most fundamentalists wouldn’t qualify, because they don’t have that “acting like a Christian” thing down very well, what with the judgmental attitude towards people who aren’t dressed like their caricature of how a “true Christian” should dress. Give me a Christian in word and deed any day, no matter what they look like!

      1. Well said Josh. (And Jamie I’m not picking on you specifically but on the whole IFB attitude of Externalism…is that a term? if not it should be)

        Can anyone tell me what a Christian “LOOKS” like? Is there a photo out there that shows proof that this is a Christian or not. Is there anyone who seriously, is willing to make a definitive judgement on the girl in this post’s standing before God?

        Funny that Politicians, Lawyers, Used Car Salespeople and “Christians” all seem to look alike according to the “Looking Like a Christian.” chapter in the IFB “How to be Right with gid” manual. It’s all about the IFB’s obsession with Externalism.
        A very wise young teenager I know once said,”Soo, They know my heart and judge me based on the length of my hair. I guess they would accept me if I was to get a haircut and dress in a suit and tie… I could be a drug dealer, but as long as I “look” right they would accept me.”

      2. Except in certain fringe sects, there are no uniforms for Christians.

        In case you somehow missed the irony of the last line in this entry, please re-read:
        “For as our Lord said, by these lists of rules shall all men known that ye are my disciples.”

        Hint: That’s not what our Lord said.

    3. man looks at the outside, God looks at the heart. unless you can see their heart …. wait are you gid?

  41. Bravo, bravo! Excellent post–had me laughing out loud very hard, especially the Seattle line since I live near there.

  42. Jesus dealt with the woman at the well. “Go and sin no more” were His words. Many people would call that judging. If you look at the law that God expected the Jews to go by in Lev. you would see just how “strict” God is. They had to do animal sacrifices for their sins. The purpose of the law was to show us that we are sinners and that we need a Savior and repent. We are not under the law now because of his death on the cross,therefore we no longer have to do sacrifices, but that does not give us “liberty” to sin. We will never reach perfection, we are not worthy to even be in His presence. The problem we have in society now is simple the “church” does not preach on sin anymore. They want just numbers, entertainment. They want you to leave “feeling good”. God loves you the way you are mentality. If you will read in Lev. God expected all men, women and children to stand for HOURS (most of the day) while the law was read to them. What church would do that now? We have muddied the church with the world. The church should keep a higher standard than the world. We have let the world influence the church. If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, well then – IT MUST BE A DUCK!! Especially those in leadership. If it acts like the world, and talks like the world , dances like the world, sings like the world, well then – it must be worldly. When one is saved – he is a new creature, old things are passed away, behold all things are become NEW!” I do not want the Devil’s music, dress, or actions The Devil is the prince of this world for now = I have been changed. I want the world to know life is wonderful when you give your “all” to Him and let Him run every aspect of your life. Romans 12″1,2, ” I beseech you therefore brethern by the mercies of God that you presents your “bodies” a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God which is your “reasonable” service..And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable and perfect will of God.” It is not asking a lot to live a wholesome life, after all Christ DIED for me. If you are not “willing” to give up anything for Christ, you have not totally surrendered to Him. If you feel that you MUST defend face piercing, what a waste of time. There is a greater cause, to win souls for Christ and have a church body that wants to live pure. I also will say, that when one is a new Christian, there is a growing process to spirituality. The Holy Spirit will convict the heart. If they really want to live a God honoring life for Him, they will seek His will in everything. I do not think I have arrived!” My life will be a continual growing process until the day I die. Don’t make fun of people who just want to do right. Pick you battles wisely. By the way, if you haven’t figured it out now, I have been in Southern Baptist in the past, I now am a “fundy”. When the IFB start looking worldly, I still will be “independent” in my baptist doctrine according to scripture. Not all IFB are the same. That is why they are called “independent”. They are independent from other churches, even independents. Don’t put them all in one pot.

    2. oh, and by the way “Go and sin no more” was to the woman taken in adultery not the woman at the well. And if that text is in fact canonical (which some dispute) then you have to also read that he said “neither do I condemn thee” right before he made that pronouncement.

      For a “biblicist” you don’t seem to have a great grasp of the text. Just sayin.

      1. The ones that have to declare how much they know do it because they just don’t know. 🙂

    3. bwah bwah bwah … “fundy alarm” (not sure if anyone gets the planet fitness reference/ analogy)never mind

      1. I get it! I’m supposed to go there today! I agree: this post definitely set off the alarm!

    4. Yikes. If you have these feelings, by all means then live by them. When you force your views of sanctification on other Christians (as referenced in this post) you are a pharisee.

      No one on here made any bones about sin being sin. When you equate face piercings being wordly as sin, then you are reaching and putting your view of “being seperate” as a measuring stick on other Christians sanctification. You are not Jesus.

      As far as reaching souls for Christ, why not live Jesus example and serve humanity instead of being so worried about how you dress, speak and act or beating people over their head about sin with your Bible? I don’t remember Jesus beating people over their heads with the OT anywhere in scripture – do you?

    5. Jamie said, “The problem we have in society now is simple the “church” does not preach on sin anymore…They want you to leave ‘feeling good’.”

      It is important to preach against sin, but what sins is the pastor preaching against? If all he’s preaching against is rock music, CCM, body piercings, drinking, and dancing, I think he’s still trying to make his congregation “feel good.” Most people in his church probably aren’t doing those things. He should preach on the sins his church members ARE tempted to commit: sins of pride, self-righteousness, neglect of the needy, gossip, lack of compassion, haste to get angry when others don’t meet our expectations, etc. Those are sins too. Those things are the mindset of the world. It’s a lot easier to cleanse the outside than the inside. Trust me, I know! I can paste a smile on my face, wear no make-up, keep my hair long and my skirts longer, and yet still be WORLDLY because I’m cold, unforgiving, and ungracious.

      There’s more than one way to be worldly: just look at the things that are the opposite of the fruit of the Spirit. If a Christian chooses to only wear skirts or to never get a piercing, she certainly is at liberty to decide that, but God is looking at her heart.

      1. Amen, PW! Maybe add the other sin nobody in fundy’ism preach about: Greed & Gluttony.

        But the actual problem is that Law without Gospel is wrong. That is what I appreciate so much in Lutheran Church where we are now – the structure of every sermon, the structure of the whole liturgy, is Law and Gospel, Confession and Grace.

    6. Anyone for a fundy check list on this post? I’ll go first:

      Adoration for the Levitical law: check.

      3. Darrell didn’t technically check off the refusal to adhere to paragraphs composition.

        Poorly formated tirade: check.

      4. Presenting a God that sound like a mean tyrant instead of a loving Father who sacrificed His Son for us: check

        “God expected all men, women and children to stand for HOURS (most of the day) while the law was read to them.”

    7. ” If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, well then – IT MUST BE A DUCK!!”

      Trite, all encompassing fundy sayings: Check

    8. Not all IFB are the same. That is why they are called “independent”. They are independent from other churches, even independents. Don’t put them all in one pot.

      May I borrow your own argument? Thanks:

      If it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, well then – IT MUST BE A DUCK!! Especially those in leadership. 😯

    9. I stopped reading somewhere in the middle there, but God expected them to stand and listen for hours while the Law was read…. once every 7 years.

      Guess we should limit our public Bible readings to once every 7 years.

    10. First of all, OW MY EYES PARAGRAPHS PLEASE. I couldn’t even finish that. Second, a woman putting something shiny on her face set this off? Really?

      It may be a fashion disaster, especially if a woman chooses to put a green, yellow, or red stone in her nose, but sin? This reminds me of the pastors here in Alaska who still fulminate against Natives dancing their traditional dances, wearing their traditional clothing, and so forth because (not being invented by good white God-fearing Middle Americans before 1959) they must be SINNNuh. And OCCULT MARKERSuh. Inviting SATANNNNuh.

      How about concentrating on scrubbing out the inside of the pot–especially now, during Lent?

      I just realized today that the amount I spend on soda pop each year could just about buy an entire cow over at the Heifer Project. This realization was sparked in part by the sermon I heard on Ash Wednesday, which wasn’t about facial piercings, but about getting some damn perspective. (“In sixty or seventy years, everyone in this room will be dead and most of us will be forgotten.”)

      1. I went to the World Eskimo and Indian Olympics in Fairbanks last summer and watched Native people doing traditional songs and dances in traditional clothes, and spent a lot of time hanging out with them and talking about their lives and activities. On the average, they are some of the most devout, Godly people you will ever meet. They don’t like tourists who treat them like zoo exhibits, but if you meet them on their own terms, with humility, they are very friendly and kind.

  44. Obsession with outward appearance: check

    Hating on the phrase “God loves you the way you are” (and thus implying that God won’t love you until you change): check

    Completely missing the point: check

    3. I’m from Seattle too, but at least I don’t sing CCM. Nobody can help where they were born. :0

      (I’m kidding, folks! Lighten up! Seattle is awesome!)

  47. I think now would be an appropriate time to quote some of my SFL friends:

    “How can people twist a gospel that is supposed to set us free, and turn it into a religion in which everything is always your fault? You’re not surrendered enough, you’re not trusting enough, you’re not humbled enough, it’s all about you and how you never measure up, instead of being about Christ.” (Pastor’s Wife)

    “When someone places a higher value on standards and seperation than on a deep, intimate personal relationship with God, isn’t that a worldly philosphy?”

    From the same sage, the following:

    “We must stop looking at God’s moral law as a way to be right with Him and see it as a gift to us to live a better life.” (Jason B)

  48. Oh this is beautiful Darrell. Beautiful!! You are a true artist, my friend. It just occurred to me that this site could be a lifesaver for a fundy kid with internet access.

    Now I’m off to get my nose pierced.

    1. I got my nose pierced in October. There was quite a scene when my mother first saw it. She literally screamed at me saying, how dare you, that I was a moron, a bad influence, and that I was no longer allowed to hang out with my 14 yr old brother.

      All this to a 24 yr old not living in her house. I’m pretty sure in my mother’s mind I’m still 10. haha!

      I love my nose piercing. I’m saving money to buy a sparkly nose stud. 😀

      2. I’m about twice your age, and I long ago gave up on convincing my parents that I am no longer 10.

        They did start treating me a little differently after I got married (at age 49).

  49. Wow! What judgmental and hateful comments some of these are! Some even encouraging children to rebel against their parental authority. While I may or may not have piercings someone else may be truly personally convicted–shame on you!

  50. My wife, Fundy Phyllis, had to confront one of our singers for special music to remove her earing from her cartilage. Fundy Phyllis gave her this ultimatum: “take out the earing or you can’t sing.” Unfortunately we haven’t seen her since.

    http://www.facebook.com/fundyfred

      1. Given that Fundy Fred just used a four-letter word directly above (“sn*p”), and having seen Fundy Fred’s facebook profile, I can say with some confidence that yes, this is a satirical character.

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