Fun and Games, Outreach

Skits

128 Comments

Although they are more prevalent in some circles than others, at some point almost every fundamentalist is called upon to witness the spectacle of “the skit.” These diminutive dramas may appear in just about any venue from youth rallies to valentines banquets to that really awkward service where we had the contest on who could bring the most visitors and now we feel like since they’re here we should do something entertaining.

There are two basic types of skits, the first being The Slapstick Comedy. This type of skit is used as a crowd warm up and involves the kind of pratfalls and gags that were considered the height of comedy about one hundred years ago. This may include shaving cream pies, banana peels, and drinking water that has been gargled by someone else. It’s generally somewhere below knock-knock jokes and Bazooka gum riddles on the comedy scale.

The second type of skit is the morality play. Someone representing the Christian everyman confronts some sort of moral crisis resulting in their need to do battle with the powers of darkness in order to remain pure, sober, and in the center of God’s perfect will. This may involve saying no to bad friends (easily spotted by their backwards baseball caps) who encourage moral failures such as cheating on tests, staying up past 9, and attending wild parties with square dancing and punch bowls. Realism is key here.

No acting skills are required to participate in these skits; the only ability needed is availability. Well, that an absolutely no sense of self-preservation or dignity. Make sure to shut your eyes when the shaving cream pie comes sailing in. That stuff stings.

128 thoughts on “Skits”

  1. Having the first post is like preparing a fundy sermon – you don’t really need to worry about content!

    4. Congrats on being the first comment! I hope you’re ready for the drama this Sunday at church – I expect you to proudly wear that gorilla costume and beat up our youth pastor!!

  3. This is always the best part of any youth conference – seeing people embarrass themselves

  4. @12StepExFundy

    lol.

    Now are fundy skits considered worse than fundy Christmas programs/plays?

    1. I think I would consider my life complete if I was ever to see that particular spectacle.

      “I’m just helping her intercede, man!”

  6. That’s right. Let’s teach about those unholy honky tonks.

    In my world, skits weren’t usually done in church, but more at banquets. School banquets always had them and they were the feature in certain chapels.

  7. You know it is REALLY scary when a post like this comes up and you wonder if that picture was stolen from my family photos of days gone by…I swear I’ve endured waaaay too many school skits, ladies meeting skits, college skits for one person in one lifetime..ACK!

    1. When the page loaded and I could see the title and top 1/3 of the picture I was a little scared I was going to see myself circa 1992 . . .

  11. I saw the stone in the background and spit my coffee on the keyboard. I guess that is standard fare in 1 out of every 3 fundy churches.

    So then I spit on my keyboard again when you mentioned the “hat backwards” as the bad influence kid. For me, I took that to the next level with a backwards hat and a black leather jacket (I was going for realism).

    I did get very negative feedback from a skit when I wore a University of Pittsburgh sweatshirt during a skit about a college student doing good things for God. The crowd felt I should wear a Bob Jones University sweatshirt since you could only do good things for God at a Christian college 🙄

    1. And sunglasses! Don’t forget the sunglasses! And if you’re super-daring, a deck or cards rolled up in your shirtsleeve to look like a cigarette package (even though people haven’t put cigarettes in their sleeves like that for decades).

  12. Well, let’s take stock here. According to the picture, worldly people can’t match clothes, have an obsession with wearing hats, and either look like they just brought the herd in or likes to do their impression of what would be Heroin Barbie.

    1. LOL!!!!

      I love skits myself – although I don’t do the corny, slapstick stuff. I written a couple that I thought were pretty good. Most of the churches I’ve been in would never allow skits during the Sunday morning service: that might entertain someone and we’re not there to be entertained – Amen?

      Anyway, I always hated how conservative women doing skits always tried to put on lots of makeup or hats or a specific shirt or even special shoes (like cowboy boots to be in character) but always, always, always wore long skirts! Half of them was in character but from the waist to the ankles they were out of character. At least at BJU, they’d let the guys have long hair if the play called for it (even if they did have to wear those silly cast-member buttons). Also I was in a play at a BJU church in Greenville and they did let the “bad girl” wear pants on the platform for the play. (I was surprised they allowed it, but in a way, they had to. Otherwise, why even bother doing a play? I’m a tough punk teenager with my black eyeliner and my ankle-length jean skirts. Yeah.)

      1. I probably like them still because I was never anywhere that overused them. Never worked all summer at a Christian camp for example. That might have ruined skits forever for me.

      2. “that might entertain someone and we’re not there to be entertained – Amen?”

        Hay-Men!! Preach it sister 😀

  13. Never enough boys to play all of the male parts. Always one girl eager to ‘sacrifice’ and play a boy part. And everyone is surprised several years later when she’s the first one to leave the church and take up with her girl friend…

  15. Memories of Christmas plays that I was forced to be in. It was never officially the same play, but the plot went like this:

    Typical Christian family. Sitting around the house on Christmas eve.
    Knock at the door. Rough looking person out in the snow. Car has broken down.
    Family father lets the rough looking person in.
    “I’ll get a blanket.” says child 1
    “I’ll get some warm clothes.” says child 2
    “I guess I’ll make some coffee,” says ALWAYS skeptical mother.
    “You can stay here tonight.” says father without consulting his family. “After all that’s a nasty snowstorm out there.”

    What’s this? Rough looking stranger isn’t a Christian? Its time for a father led conversion!

    All of a sudden, rough looking stranger is a Christian. The next morning he’s gone, but …

    HE HAS LEFT A NOTE!

    He accepted Christ in his sleep, based on the wise words of the father. Because grace has no place in conversion, silly Calvinists.

    Of course, there’s an opportunity for an “I told you so moment” from father to mother. And everyone laughs.

    The end.

      1. …A week later it dawns on the family that Jan, one of the 19 kids is also missing. She left a note as well, seems she and the Stranger “really” connected. It was a religious experience like she has never known and they are off to Las Vegas. She’ll write when they get settled.

    2. I was nearly forced to be in a Christmas play one year. It went like this:

      (week before the Christmas service)

      Woman: “Here’s your lines, Rose.”

      “My lines for what?”

      “You and your husband are playing Mary and Joseph in the Christmas play I’m putting on.”

      “Oh, really? Who said this?”

      “Your husband.”

      So, after yelling at my husband, I decide we’re going to skip the Christmas service. Week after that, woman’s mother comes up to us and says in a nasty voice: “We missed you Sunday.”

      Me: “I’m sure you did.”

      1. In a galaxy far far away………

        Pastor: You’ve been missing a lot of church lately
        Me: Well I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it :mrgreen:

  16. One year during a youth conference, we did a skit where “Christian” (the smallest, scrawniest kid in the youth group) was in a WWE style wrestling match with “Evil” (3 or 4 of biggest, most athletic guys in said youth group). The plot was that “Christian” was being beaten to a pulp while “Christ” (one of the preacher boys) was standing helpless in the corner waiting for the tag. Eventually “Jesus” would come in Hulk Hogan style, fight all the “evil” and help our poor, weary saint.

    Now, it doesn’t matter how many times you practice the moves and tell high school jocks to be careful, when the lights are on, the adrenaline is pumping and there’s an auditorium full of teens egging you on, things can go bad. And by bad, I mean for the helpless, little 7th grader that was tossed around the stage for 10 grueling minutes. Needless to say, no preacher boy coming in and saving the day at the end could keep that little guy from needing medical attention afterwards. Diagnosis: dislocated shoulder, bruised ribs and angry Momma.

    Ahhh, the memories.

    1. A. SFL. Skit…..

      That’s brilliant!

      DARRELL!!!!!!!

      Oooh, and Tony Mel can do the music… oh, Tony would do an awesome job.

      Can I be the wayward harlot!? (not one word from ANY of you) 😉

      1. Natalie, this is too funny. I was going to reply to TomK and say that I could play the liberal heathen atheist and that we all knew who could be the harlot. Then I saw you beat me to it.

        3. THAT’S what I thought. 😉

          Scorpio, you know one of my favorite things to do is give you a hard time. 😉

      2. I’ll run to GoodWill and stock up on costumes. Who wants to be the rough, 80s looking thug? It’ll be like a Village People reunion.

        1. LOL… love it.

          I must make sure nothing matches and make sure my makeup is the loudest colors I can find and very poorly done.

          Oh, and I’ll need to have bed head.

        2. I have a hard hat, tool belt, work boots, jeans, moustache (with beard), dark sunglasses, a pot belly, and if I don’t have on my suspenders I can do a wicked plumber immitation…

          the over the hill Village People know disco never died! I vote we lead off with, 🙂 “In the Navy!”

        3. Instead of “In the Navy” we could name it “God and Country.” I can dress up like the displaced Native American.

        4. I can “convince” (a highly censored word since I’m trying not to gross ya’ll out with my marital sex talk) HF to be the cop!

        5. “It’s fun to be an I F B X
          and read our KJV before we have sex…”

          (sorry it was the only thing I could think of that rhymed with X) 😯

    1. Oh yeah… we would, wouldn’t we?

      Well, if I’m going to be the harlot, I get to have the split to the top of my knee… woo-hoo!

  19. Can we say vespers anyone? It is just a more adult version of this. 🙂

    The Wilds always had a huge skit night on Thursday I believe. All stops were pulled out for this. I worked at Fundy camps (which you haven’t poked fun of that much) for most of my college and high school life. I worked at a couple different ones. Skits were almost more important to prepare for as leading on errr I mean leading someone to Christ. The more slap stick the better. It need to be a spectacle.

    Of course they are enjoyable both to watch and to be in. I think it was the youth group ones that bothered me the most. Because with camp they come in for 1 week and leave and then next year you start back where you began. But in youth group they are coming back each week. Once you escalate you can never go back. So it would lead to weird skits or games designed to one up yourself the week before. Spitting grapes into someone elses mouth, chubby bunny and the list goes on. It was almost painful to watch worse to be a part of…and no this is not unique to fundamentalism.

      1. Chubby bunny = how many marshmallows can fit into your mouth while you can still say the phrase “Chubby bunny”

        1. I shudder thinking about the amount of time I wasted supervising that kind on nonsense in what was supposed to be youth ministry.

  20. In skits I always got to play the snarly atheist that had an attitude. It made me wonder why unbelievers have to be portrayed as “bad guys”; can’t they just be ordinary folks that are searching?

    1. Or what about ordinary folks that left and aren’t particularly searching any more?

      Don’t be silly WannaEx — everyone outside fundyland is miserable to the core. Just ask your MoG.

    2. Of course we can’t portray them as anything but bad guys! If they’re not Christians, they’re unutterably depraved and horrible. (Pay no attention to the idea that God’s providence and grace can be seen in general culture.) No, God’s goodness is present only in the church, only in OUR church, and that’s why we keep the walls high and our defenses up lest someone from out there comes in and infects us. We’ll keep you very busy attending church services and programs so you’ll never actually meet any unbelievers. When you do meet them, we’ll train you in an evangelism style that is mostly you lecturing and them listening. If they don’t repeat a prayer at the end of your spiel, run from them for they’re a scoffer.

      Seriously though, when you view the world in black and white and see anyone who disagrees with you as a stereotyped charicature, how can you do otherwise than portray unbelievers as snarly and nasty in skits? It’s sort of like a medieval morality play where people enact embodiments of virtues or vices.

      1. But I went to a public school in the industrial northeast, where many of the kids were second generation immigrants. What was so confusing was that some of the nicest kids were…dare I say it…the evil ‘C’ word…Oooh how can it be…some of the nicest kids were CATHOLIC!!! 😯

        1. Oh my. So did you inform them that their church is the Beast in the book of Revelation, and that they would be joining up with the anti-Christ in the last days?

      3. That’s probably why aforementioned atheist has this over the top dramatic conversion at the end of the skit and gets to eat crow. Since this never happens in reality (rarely) we may as well dream right? 😀

      4. PW – True, True, True

        If we could get this post (another good one Darrell)and your comment PW, to every IFB church in the U.S., wouldn’t at least a few of them begin to see the idiocy of their ways?

        I’m reminded again, and will say it again PW. You are one of the main reasons I come to SFL. (Darrell’s pretty good too)

    1. Yes, skit guys are awesome! I have seen them perform a few times at no good, liberal, southern baptist, waste of time, ungoldy, wicked youth workers conferences….and we use them in our church! They are the best!

  22. Not you Don! I was referring to an oft repeated line by John Goodman’s character in The Big Lebowski.

    1. Nice. Hope you see this, Don! I would never tell you to shut the —- up! Well, unless you made me really, really angry. Heh

      1. I see george is messing with you. 😯 I’m just picking as well. 😉 I couldn’t resist making use of the Donny comment. My mother called me Donny…. once. 😈

        3. **twitch** Scorpio (I see you remember that from a previous post) it’s not the Donny part so much that bothers *tic* me it’s **shake** “BROTHER” **jErK-hItCh** part that *Re-boot*****
          triggers these spaz attacks. 😕

          Actually I can tell how I know someone by what they call me.
          Don: Work or some qusi-offical/public forum
          Donny: Family and friends
          Donald: Government or some other Official agency
          Brother: *spin* IFB affiliation **eye spasm**
          008: British Intelligence
          Mr Wonderful: (classified information) 😎

  23. I remember how people kept recycling the same old tired skits for society meetings at BJU. It got to be a big yawn. Then during my senior year, somebody actually wrote an original and very funny skit for the society meeting. What a difference a bit of originality can make!

  24. Hah! I loved the skits, most of them. Some were just plaid stupid. But some were memorable and hilarious. Only once have I seen one used in a Sunday morning service, most were in youth group special meetings, banquets, and at camp.

  26. I wore a suffocating enormous chicken costume. I probably have a picture of it somewhere on photobucket. The skit was a re-run of Noah’s Ark but more like the last days.

  27. You know who always got the raw end of the deal in these skits? Jesus. I’ve seen him ignored/shoved/hit/nailed to the cross, all by fundy kids who started out loving Him, only to neglect reading their Bible because they were busy, or being too embarrassed to pray at the lunch table, or skipping Wednesday night service to do homework.

        2. And where do you think you are going revdavepett? ❓
          Service ain’t over yet. Get back in there, sit down and post some more. We don’t let good humor slide out so easily around here.

        5. I was going to lead a blog split and start a new blog down the street – one where I can pick my own carpet color and everything, but I’m sufficiently pacified…for now.

  28. Skits,plays,etc., those were the days. Growing up, it was required to perform in the same ones over, and over, and over again. The same went for Sunday morning specials. And my family wonders why I refuse to get up and do these anymore. After a while, it was like someone please put me out my misery for the sake of myself and the audience. 😀

  29. Yeah, our church had it’s fair share of skits. All of them cheesy, and badly acted. Although, you might get one person who “acted” professionally or something like that…or at best, maybe took some acting lessons 40 years ago when they were “heathens”. Most of the jokes fell flat because of the lack of talent…it’s hard to get good comedic timing down when you look like a deer caught in headlights 😛

  30. I endured watching many of those skits in my country (when some WILDS kids came down for a missions trip) and at the WILDS. As Darrell indicated, their humor is slapstick, and they don’t have the remotest idea of what sarcasm is. This only makes simple-minded people (the ones Proverbs tells us not to be like) laugh histerically.

    When watching one of those skits, the brain must be checked at the door.

  31. From my HAC days—Bucky Tucker University—BTU America’s Most Unusable University. (Wonder who we were making fun of?)
    I was also part of Moses and the 10 Commandos (A-Team parody.) One villian was Nurse Jackie Kevorkian who was trying to remove the blood from the Bible. She was NIV positive.
    Check out the HAC Shiite skits from the 80’s–STUPID and definitely pre 911.

  33. HAC was the SNL of Christian skits. Actually, they were funny, it was also funny what we could get away with if you put it in a skit.

  34. Easy laugh in Fundie skits when I was growing up, making fun of Japanese, Chinese and Mentally Challeneged people. Oh yeah that’s funny. And it was adults putting on or providing the scripts who should know better. Shame.

    And yes, the bad kid in a “skit with a point” had to wear the hat backwards, chains around his neck, chew gum and fist pump a lot. Too bad for the kid that had been invited to the youth rally that looks just like that.

    I really hate those stereotype skits. I saw one just a few years ago. The whole congregation was rolling in the aisles playing an unintelligent japanese man complete with thick glasses and buck teeth. I was So SO glad my two asians daughters were not there!

    2. It sounds sort of like the minstrel shows of about the 1850s, but with Asian instead of black stereotypes.

    3. yeah the fundies I grew up with would refer to Chinese facial features as “slanty eyed.” Klassy they are.

      1. Oh! flashback! There was a coule who adopted two Chinese girls (late 70s) and were kind of weird about them. When they would throw temper tantrums in the nursery, the mother would say “Thats how *they* (Chinese) are, they need a lot of discipline” No lie, I was all of 11 years old and I was like “WTF?” So many times as a kid I would hear something really racist, hateful coming out of the mouths of the fundy adults I was to emulate and I’d have myself a quick look around to see if anyone heard excatly what I just heard. Sadly, I never got any confirmation of the crazy from anyone else in earshot. 👿

        1. That’s horrible. Those kids probably grew up feeling like second class citizens treated like that.

  35. When my big sis came back from the Wilds (NC) she and her youth group pals kept repeating this line from one of the skits. In a voice that could only be described as mentally challenged (very) they would repeat loudly “BANANA!” and “BANANA?” and so on and so forth. I was 12 and just hated all of them for it.

    1. I was probably around that age seeing a skit about a dumb guy selling pencils. Grown man. He kept yelling “Penthels, penthels for sale.” Don’t remember the point of the skit, pretty sure one was pulled over the dumb guy. Hilarious. 😡

  36. The girls in the skits are only have costumes from the waist up…this picture is obviously fundamental…they still have to adorn their long skirts.

  37. A Pentecostal friend had gone on a missions trip to Scotland. His team had devised evangelistic drama to present, and they innocently went door-to-door asking if people would “like to see some skits.” The locals’ reaction was something to behold.

    Little did the Americans know that “skits” was the local vulgar slang word for diarrhea, similar to the English word s***s.
    FAIL.

  40. Guess I missed out on the really “fundamental” skits. I’ve seen a ton of them over the years, mostly at church and camp, and usually they were pretty funny. (Never went to the Wilds.)The only ones that fell flat were the ones that tried to be really serious. I’m all for seeing people come to Christ, but the skits where this happened were usually painful to watch because of the bad acting, predictibility, etc. But when I was a camp counselor I kept a running log of the best skits. I’ll have to see if I can dig that up.

  41. The type of skit that I found most contrived was the type often written by the youth group themselves with lines to the effect of:

    “Jesus, Who’s Jesus?”

    Apparently, the heathen character, who used the operative word “party” and is familiar with all the excesses of the Western World apparently has no familiarity with this person named Jesus or Christianity in any form or frame of reference.

    Is it that they want to get naive teenagers overly confident in sharing the Gospel through projecting this easy sell on the youth group stage?

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