for more fun and games check out the Missionary Questionnaire(PDF) wherein are important questions such as “When did the Church start in the New Testament?” There are, however, only seven slots for the missionary to list his children’s names which to me smacks of possible liberalism. Is seven really enough to fill a quiver full?
Most amazing of all is that according to their website they’ve actually found 50 missionaries who they are willing to support. Amazing.
this is psycho. You have once again struck fundy gold!
The pastor’s writing on “what is a cult” is also some sweet irony.
What’s that thing Jesus said about specks and beams? This guy is totally sporting a beam.
“Sporting a beam.”
Like!
Sorry for using Facebook lingo, there, pastor.
@Darrell….You know Darrell, I think there should be the Annual SFL Awards where the most Fundamental preacher is awarded his very own “SFL’l”…a golden trophy made in the image of an OT Priest in full Priestly gear. Have the awards show and send the “SFL’l” to the church where the Man ‘O God does his weekly duties. I think it would be smashing!
Hypocrite much?
These “so called” economic times.
They have a whole page on “Social Networking”: http://www.fbcpv.net/First_Baptist_Church/Facebook.html
DANG IT! They found out about the twitter too! Who’s telling these people what technologies are out there?
Fantastic. Don’t know how I missed that where it was so cleverly placed on the Doctrines page.
It’s so unfortunate that the legitimate concerns he has about Internet use are dealt with by controlling instead of teaching and nurturing.
Ahh, but control is what cults are all about. We cannot have you thinking for yourself now can we. Why imagine what chaos that would lead to. No, no, no, no, no, NO! (as Jack would say) No, only the M-O-g is allowed to think.
But that’s the fundamentalist way. Having a list of do’s and don’ts is much easier than the discipline and effort required to really learn how to apply God’s Word to real life and it’s varied situations. God hasn’t given us a long list of do’s and don’ts to cover every single situation precisely so His people can mature. “…Solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil.” Fundamentalism is a perpetual childhood, and the lazy are happy to keep it that way. When faced with a technology like the internet, they have no other way to deal with it than by banning it altogether (or pretending to, or banning it for YOU, if not for the MOG) because they have no idea how to go about disciplining themselves around it or anything else.
I find it interesting that he places the fault on social networking sites, but his story makes it clear that the parents had let their son spend hours on a computer unsupervised in his room. Every parenting book I’ve read says to have the computer in a public room where anyone can see it.
Also he spends the entire article talking about how teens are susceptible to giving in to “herd mentality”, etc., but then in the last paragraph he decides to spread his prohibition to adults too.
He says the internet is a blessing in that he can communicate easily with his missionary daughter and read newsletters on line for free. But why is it OK to be on the internet at all? He’s drawing an arbitrary line: “email is OK; facebook is evil.” As with so many other things in our culture, the IFB takes a neutral THING (like texting or facebook) and turns it into something immoral because some people have used it for evil.
I’m annoyed at his statement that being on social networks is all about “self” not ministry. What a load of hogwash. I have many, many facebook friends that use it to encourage each other, posting Bible verses and praise songs and uplifting comments. I know someone who saw a friend post how overwhelmed she was, and she went over to the friend’s house and helped her.
This man’s position is so arrogant that it’s annoying: “I approve of the internet in the areas in which I’VE found it helpful for ME; areas which I don’t personally use, I will preach against and judge you if you do.”
I have several missionary friends who say they don’t know how they made it before Facebook. They use it to post needs, prayer requests, and share blessings on the field. It is so much better than sending a letter every other month.
PW I was thinking the same thing. Why is Facebook taking the fall when any internet expert can tell you that you do not give kids unrestricted access to the internet.
I don’t know if you all realize this, but that article “Are Blogs, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, and Texting Really Harmless Pastimes?” is written by Dr. Ron Williams. THE Ron Williams of Hephzibah House! Abuser in Chief, who keeps girls in the basement of his house.
It’s like reading PCC employee handbook.
We Are: Bap-tist!
We Are: Bap-tist!
We Are: Bap-tist!
http://www.fbcpv.net/First_Baptist_Church/Doctrine.html
Baptist: On the scene Long before the Catholic Church came into existence.
Doesn’t that violate #6 fron the Cult link Darrell linked above? 6. “Don’t use your mind”
“Believe it because we believe it” is the appeal of a spiritual counterfeit. Rather than asking us to follow Him mindlessly, Jesus commands us to “…Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all thy mind” (Matt. 22:37).
Oh and talking about exercising and training the mind look at their “Christian Academy” statement:
Given this curriculum I would answer that last question (as I already have in real life) I want my children to get an education not an indoctrination.
A Cult by any other name…
The pastor, however, has his own website at (I’m not kidding) me.com :
http://web.me.com/awpayne1981/Welcome/Welcome.html
Great find!
after claiming everyone else in the world is a Narcissist, he then sees no conflict with establishing his own web page about him on me.com! I saw that too! LOVE it when Fundies claim everyone else is what they are. Also claim how everyone else is part of the herd mentality problem, but not Fundies! 🙄
Love the statement on the homepage:
“The fact that a link appears from this page does not mean that I endorse everything they say or do.
Some of these links may not use the King James Bible, or may have links on their page that may not hold the same doctrinal stance as we do. Use extreme caution!”
Oh Nooooooooooo! Be careful as you peek through the site, those nasty PerVersions are lurking around the links in this site waiting to snatch you up and take you to their land of uncontrolled liberalism!!!!!!
I thought the whole point of having your own website was so you could have control on everything you put on there. Paranoid Much, Pastor?
Some web sites that cater to churches forcibly add their own links to the site… it’s the price one pays for having a “quick & easy” way to “do” web sites.
But he proudly uses a Mac. I wonder what he thinks of PCs?
I’m glad that he told us to “use extreme caution” before clicking on his links because they may not use the KJV.
That would’ve been bad if I would’ve seen those verses.
And the link on the web links page under “more links” there is a Faith Music link – which has at the top links to find them on facebook and twitter.
Fundy Websites sure do provide some sweet morsels of irony, they are even better than the parodies!
So…how will the MOG know whether or not the missionary has a social networking account? Magic? Special revelation from God? Or…CHECKING THOSE SELF-SAME SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES?
See, this is one thing that always bugged me, long before I started coming to grips with what Fundamentalism truly is. Somehow the pastor, by virtue of being the pastor, is spiritual enough to withstand the evils of such things as mySpace (really?) and Facebook to check whether a missionary, who is going to be a pastor himself, has accounts on those sites. If they’re both pastors, though, shouldn’t they have the same spiritual wherewithal to be on those sites? So why would it matter if they have accounts or not? Suppose they have accounts just to check on other people, too? Is that an exception to the “no social networking” policy?
“Do as I say, not as I do” is a very tired mantra, but Fundy manogawds* certainly get their mileage out of it.
*menogawd? what’s the correct pluralization?
Obviously, there can be no plural if you’re fully supporting yours. 😉
Well, yes, but even if I’m undyingly loyal (I love making up adverbs) to my local manogawd, I have to encourage you to be undyingly loyal to yours, because if I encouraged you to be loyal to mine, then I’m just causing confusion, and we know God isn’t the author of confusion, amen.
Of course if I were following the example of this manogawd, I wouldn’t even recognize that the plural of “Man of God” is “Men of God” and not “Man of Gods” (though, honestly…), but that by reducing it to one word I have created a new word that, by the rules of English grammar, should be pluralized by adding an “s.”
Grammar nazis, unite!
As the Lord’s Annointed, Mennogawd are +25 against online porn and social networking sites. Unfortunately they are -50 against pride.
honestly, i think they’re likely -50 against online porn sites – statistics are stacked against their modifiers 😀
Wow! Nothing like throwing the baby out with the bathwater. I’m surprised they even have a website and that the web page was “Made on a Mac,” if they’re so against social networking they put their position on the doctrines page.
They should also have “We are Ungrammatical” after the “We are Missionary” section. Grrr!
Anyone interested in checking the missionaries they do support, and see if they are on FB, twitter, or mySpace? I may give it a shot tonight, if not.
The whole internet is no good. Watch as I connect the dots to prove my point:
SFL ridicules the IFB movement,
SFL is on the internet,
Therefore the internet is evil
See how easy
It’s easier than that,
Internet is newer than 1611
Internet is evil!
2 steps!
^ Brilliant
One step–> manogawd: “CUZ I SAID SO, BLESS GAWD!”
unbeatable!
Zero steps – Internet?
Zero steps:
Well, if you were right with gid (at least more right than the lady on the fridge magnet) then you’d know how wrong it was by direct revelation now wouldn’t cha? back slidden heathens! everyone of ya’z! 😯 you all need to get down to the altar, git right with gid and git this sin under the blood! Bless gawd! *shudder*
wow, I just inadvertantly created a fundy trigger for myself. shudder*
Thanks for this. I was having a horrible morning and now I’m laughing uncontrollably. Awesome. 🙂
From the missions questionaire:
15. Standards
15a. What is your position on separation?
15b. What is your position on dress standards for men and ladies? Reference Deut. 22:5, 1 Tim 2:9
15c. Briefly describe your philosophy of music:
Hmmm, Seperation….far from this dude. My philosophy of music? Is Beck or Def Leopard doing contemporary gospel yet?
“Reference Deut. 22:5, 1 Tim 2:9”–ah yes, because nobody who is truly saved could have a different opinion on those verses than the fundies do.
I love how they use modest to mean no pants on women, bless gawd! Those compromising hussies!!
When, oh, a hundred years ago, that meant don’t show ankles if you value your life. Or only long sleeves. Or shirts up to your chin.
But my personal favorite is the Due 22 reference. “Woman shall not wear that which” etc. See, no pants!!
Except woman’s pants are much different from men’s. And I suppose by that restriction blazers aren’t allowed? It’s so illogical, I love it when they bring that verse up because it’s so easy to eliminate.
1.Has your wife ever been divorced? — None yo business. My wife’s first husband commited adultry and her second tried to kill her and her unborn baby (who is now my 18 yr old adopted son).
2. Tithe? – Nope
3. Lord’s Supper? Me being a Mid-Acts Dispensationalist (Hyper-Dispensationalist) I don’t believe it is for us today….but I’m not crazy over it. Having said that, IF I did, it would be OPEN.
4. King James? Sure, I like It and I use it…that’s my story and I’m stick’n to it.
5. Social Networking Sites? Are you Crazy? YES! Can you think of a BETTER way for those supporting you to keep up with the goings on?
6. Have I resented any of these questions? Yes, I resent your tone.
7. My spouse is big busted, does that present a problem? If so, is it a problem for you? Do you resent me asking you this question?
8. Yes, the Church is invisible….
9. Does YOUR wife agree with you doctrinally? Do you even care?
These are the kind of people you want to throw an open bottle of Dawn dish soap into their pool late at night.
Naaa, that would only lead to a sermon about how they are being persecuted for their godly stand and how they are “suffering for Jesus.”
Yeah, that question, “Do you resent any of the questions that were asked,” made reading that worthwhile. If I was a missionary, I wouldn’t even bother with this freak.
These are the kind of people you want to throw an open bottle of Dawn dish soap into their pool late at night.
Nope. The cheap stuff from the dollar store works just as well and you can use double the amount for even more suds.
Reading through that missionary questionnaire makes my head hurt, but something has to be said about the fact that this pastor, by virtue of the fact that he asked the question, believes missionaries should tithe to their home church. Just think about that for a minute. Talk about a convenient way for the home pastor to rake in some extra dollars! Missionaries’ budgets are tight enough as it is. The missionary is going to establish a church somewhere in the world. He will be a member of that church. He should only be expected to give to that church. Does this pastor send a tithe to his home church, wherever that is? Of course not.
What’s even funnier is the “who are you accountable to” questions. Any self respecting, IFB, M-O-g worth his salt is going to boldly declare that they are “Called(tm)” to establish an Inedpendent Fundamental Baptist church that is accountable only to Gawd himself!
@Don,
All these guys think their Prophets and Priests….
Silly me and here I thought Scripture declares the Priesthood of all believers.
In the Fundie Cult obviously some are more important to god than others. If you don’t have the Call(tm)</b? you are merely sheeple in dire need of a leader to tell you what to think.
To answer that: A mission work is not considered a church by these people until it has been “organized” and given the “authority” by the mother church. I have this drivel forever stuck in my head from my baptist brider yrs.
I thought that was more Landmark than Baptist Bride…though maybe they go hand in hand. I haven’t really cared enough about either to study them in-depth, I’ll admit.
I think I need some kind of excel sheet to help me know the differences in all these different Baptists! I’d never heard of Baptist Bride or Landmark till I found SFL!
Virtually the same. Because the are capital I independent they each have small differences based on the pastors “understanding” of the Scripture. ugh 🙁
The don’t like the term baptist bride.. They prefer “Historical Baptist” Sounds noble, huh.
LOL! Ironic use of historical alert, although they don’t intend it as ironic usage!
By this we mean that we hold to the historic beliefs and practices which have prevailed among Baptists from the time of Jesus.
From their About page
This is a “Baptist Brider” church… unfortunately I know what they believe all to well. The local church is the center of thier religion, not Jesus Christ. I was a deacon at one of these places. Wood, hay and stubble for 10yrs… I am now a recovering Pharasee.
Praise the Lord 🙂
In their Inquisition, I mean Questionnaire pdf, I love how there are 3 questions asking their position on standards (separation, dress, music), but only one question asking their philosophy of missions. AND, the missions question comes after the standards section on page 4 of 8?!?! Don’t you think that would be one of the first questions asked? And there’s no questions like “Tell us about your passion for Christ and missions”.
Also, I love how all the questions are of the leading type, and they all leave the door open for correction from this pastor. Typical.
Wonder how he would react to the military’s use of Facebook:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/social.media/12/24/facebook.military.families/index.html?hpt=Sbin
NO WONDER THEY LET TEH GAYZ IN NOW!!!ONE!!#!!@!
Oh yeah! You know it… especially since the byline is “San Francisco.”
Nothing good can ever come from San Fran!
BTW I have no idea what fundies are going to do about DADT repeal. You’d think they’d separate and go pacifist, but I really don’t see that ever happening for a people so carefully trained to be militant. IDK how they’ll continue to support the military, but when DADT was started they made a big uproar and then almost immediately forgot about it.
Oh they’ll support the military as a persecuted brother for what has been forced upon them….
Hmmm, upon further examination: Pastor Payne has no problem with his OWN website and gratuitous use of his own picture. I do admire the use of scare tactics referencing Social Sites. Apparently, he has no problem believing that parents are just plain slackers, so, he feels called to raise everyone elses children too!
isn’t going to church on sunday a form of social networking?
Shhhhh! You want to give somebody a heart attack?
ah! but it is a “controlled environment” social network.
And, on Facebook, you can’t show off how much better dressed you are than other people.
I will admit, that’s a sharp missions page…well done. But a thought came to mind: Many of these countries have a gospel witness, so, are they just trying to set up franchises for their particular flavor of “What Christianity is supposed to be”? or are they exporting their version of Baptist? Do you suppose any of the said missionaries use FB? Methinks they probably do…Let’s take this a step further…Do you think Pastor Payne does FB searches to police the missionaries? I wonder if that’s the Associate Pastor’s job?
They may have a gospel wittness BUT according to these folks you don’t have a “church” without AUTHORITY! You can only get authgority from a mother church who got it from its mother church all the way back to Jesus.. SO you can go and start a church in a town with 50 assemblis and justify yourself because in your fundy head they are not really churches, just assemblies without authority. By the way, that gives you peace of mind about stealling thier members too 🙂
@Fred….
“By the way, that gives you peace of mind about stealling thier members too”
EXCELLENT POINT!
Anyone else notice the “Made on a Mac” bit at the bottom of the anti-Facebook page?
Yeah, that caught my attention too.
http://lowendmac.com/misc/08mr/mac-liberal-conservative.html
junk. i knew i should have read all the comments before posting below. here’s my contribution: http://objectiveministries.org/creation/propaganda.html
WHAT! BSD Unix is from Satan? (proven by the little devil platypus logo?) And all this time I thought it was a joint effort of Stanford, Berkeley, and AT&T Bell Labs. I am not a Mac disciple, but am a big fan of several other BSD derived Operating Systems. Say what you want about the fact that Mac followers would pay 3 grand for a Steve Jobs turd wrapped in white plastic, but they picked a great foundation for their operating system and integrated it nicely.
Had I not been exposed to other fundy websites, I would not be able to accept that guys site is actually serious. Are you sure its not a clever parody? I seriously wish it was.
The top down Mog driven philosophy of Apple works better with fundys than you might think. After all, they know whats best for you too!
Wow! This is a blast from the past! Back during my missionaryin’ days I had the misfortune to be at this particular church. Believe me, the pastor is one weird little man. More than a bit rude too. His wife is very nice.
Needless to say, they did not support me. I have seldom been treated worse by a pastor. The church members were really great people though.
The pastor had rules on top of rules that he expected me to abide by while I was there. I could not keep up with them all.
The weird thing was, I did not ask to go to his church. I met him somewhere and he invited me to come then treated me a bit like a clump of dirt. It was really strange. I was not asked to fill out a questionaire. I had a strict policy about questionaires-I always trashed them immediately unless they had entertainment value! 😉
I was already questioning fundyism at the time so this church helped to push me over the edge into sanity. So, I guess I should send him a thank you note.
George aparintly dissabbled my spel-cheker.
@Apathetic,
So, you BOTH had policies about questionaires!He wanted to give’m and you trashed’m…didn’t sound like an unequal yoke to me! 😆
I didn’t always trash them. I remember a couple of sensible ones. 99% were from people with pet doctrines to push or weird hang-ups about standards.
A friend of mine got one that asked “Does your wife ever wear pants? (Please answer yes if she sleeps in pants)”
My friend claims that he answered “My wife NEVER wears pants, even for sleeping. Though I, on occasion, like to dress up in women’s clothes.”
I do not know if that actually happened but I do know that I felt like answering some like that.
{gasp, choke, snork} RONTLMAO! 😆
RONT?
I was laughing so hard I couldn’t type properly. 🙂
Oh my, I have so much to say about this, since my kids go to a school where the pastor believes VERY strongly in the evil of the internet in a passionate way… I would not doubt that he is friends with this guy 😈 …**talking to myself*** Keep the mouth shut on this one IAHB…keep it shut…
Get Rob to step on your foot. That’s what I do. It does the trick, but he’s BRUTAL. 😉
It’s winter time, the boots are gonna hurt!
Do what you need to do Rob…even if it means bringing out the steel toe boots…I reeeeeeallly need to keep my mouth shut on this one.
When I finally woke up to the fact that I had wasted enough money to put my children through college and graduate school and probably get them started on a PhD… and the education they had gotten over the 10 years I had them in so-called Christian school was sub-par to even a basic public school education… it was almost too late. They will graduate from Public High School and I am so thankful for that.
Since I have another child in 2nd grade I will not repeat that mistake with her. (she attended Kindergarden at Christian school but we pulled her out for 1st grade.) So, she is already in public school and I can say without reservation we have shaken the dust off and not looked back. Substandard education and too much indoctrination is a lousy excuse for school. I could go on for hours on this subject. I will spare everyone the journey. 😕
IAHB, don’t remain silent at the expense of your child’s education… it’s not worth it. 🙁
These boots are made for stompin….
You’ve already had less than thoughts of wonderment about the Pastor, you might as well have committed murder!
Ugh, what an arrogant moron. If I were a missionary I wouldn’t accept this guy’s support even if it meant going hungry now and again!
“Most amazing of all is that according to their website they’ve actually found 50 missionaries who they are willing to support.”
The sad thing is that there are many missionaries who are so desperate for that extra $25 a month in support that not only will they fill out ridiculous questionnaires, they’ll also go along with most anything a church wants in order to be supported.
Yep, that’s about all they get – honestly.
Sam Gipp makes a big deal out of how many missionaries he supports himself. He talks about how he started off with 1 missionary, then 2, then 4 and he is up to about 50 or so… then he finishes with his punchline – I only give each one a dollar – or something like that. It was a joke, and I know he gives more, but it’s not far from the truth. The church I was at was giving 50 a month to missionaries – but I was giving almost $200 a week. I know how the money was spent – petrol for the church van, rental of the hall, and printing (not even tracts – just printing stuff for church each week). We supported 4 missionaries. I could have supported them all in one week and then kept my money. I justified it in my head as “God will do what He wills with it”, in order to get past the thoughts that I could use it better.
We go to a church now that supports many missionaries through a mission board, and the money gets put to good use.
I think this is hillarious on one hand and sad on the other hand. A guy I went to college with in Oklahoma City, OK is actually working for this church as their youth guy and school principal. I can not believe that somebody really wanted to work for a place like this! It gives me the creeps thinking about working at a place like this! I guess it wouldnt do any good for me to ask the preacher if he can help me out in Farmville. Thanks Darrell for posting this!
if you can call that a school… ACE does not a school make.. *shudder*
It’s no worse than the BJU and ABeka curriculums. 😛
They are all pretty bad, but I would venture that it is a good bit worse. I had friends that did ACE, and they literally didn’t learn anything. They usually just copied down the answers onto their tests. Then they “graduated from high school” when they were 16.
I went to an IFBx school for about a year (my mom took me out because she didn’t think the teachers were good) for part of 4th grade and part of 5th grade. It was the most disorganized place I’ve ever been (I won’t get into detail). At that school we used the PACE booklets. They were super easy! I was always working on booklets that were one or two grade levels ahead of the grade I was in. It was ridiculous.
My grandmother used to call these kind of people “blabtists.” Enough said.
My thoroughly evil side wants to set up a fake Facebook account for this guy and then friend all of his church members!
I think it would be well worth the trouble!
I would like to friend that profile! Could put out bogus updates about having constructive meetings with local Catholic Priests, rocking out to some classic rock, etc!
Even worse would be posting links that quoted from Other Versions!
My vote for the QOD from the Academy site:
Students who attend FBCA will not only receive a quality education, but also learn what God’s will is for their life.
Isn’t that a euphemism for “We will brainwash your children into thinking that they must be Called(tm) to full-time Christian Service if they are ever going to please gid and ammount to anything for gid. Only what is done in full time ministry [or unquestioningly supportive of the same] will be worthy of gid’s favor.”
To do the â„¢ symbol, hold down alt and hit 0,1,5,3 on you number pad. 😎
And they get a fridge magnet upon graduation.
😯 😆 😆 😆
Don, I agree with you about fundie schools. I wish I had attended my local public high school. It is continually ranked as one of the best public high schools in my home state. (But my parents did not want me a attend a school where they were told that students were having sex in the halls)
Some reasons to reject fundie schools (from my own personal experience)
1. Inferior teachers and staff because many are from unaccredited colleges. Many are underpaid and work second jobs during the school year to support themselves and their families.
2. Too much time wasted studying the bible. Bible class is part of the curriculum. If a student has a one-hour of bible class a day times 180 days in the school year that is about 180 hours of bible study per school year. That time could be better served learning something relevant, like science.
3. Poor science education. Any field of science where evolution is important to that study of the field is skimmed over or avoided. I did not realize how ignorant I was of science until I attended a secular college.
4. Networking. Newer fundie schools do not have a large pool of alumni to make connections to find a good college or job. Often fundie schools do not cooperate with local (secular) colleges, so more advanced students can’t take college prep courses while in high school.
5. Terrible guidance counseling. Students are often encouraged to attend inferior fundie colleges and only peruse careers in Christian service or the ministry. Only fundie Christian colleges (and the military) are allowed to recruit on campus.
6. Limited number of extracurricular actives.
7. For many students, a longer commute. My commute was an hour one way. Two hours a day spend on a bus. I attended my fundie school for six years.
8. Fundie school supporters often lie about the success of their students and the state of the local public schools.
#2 (there is a pun in there somewhere)
#2 was a sore point with me(the pun gets worse) because my twins’ freshman math class did not get even halfway through the Algebra 1 curriculum due to the so called math teacher spending more time preaching to them than actually teaching Algebra. I paid for an education… and my children got an indoctrination. I should be entitled to a 2x refund for that class. 🙄
Cannot agree more about 2, 3, & 5!
I won my state and placed 2nd in the national AACS science competition my junior year in high school – was sent to BJU to take the national test. What I was not taught about biology, geology, and astronomy could fill several books.
There was strong pressure to attend BJU, although PCC and Maranatha were acceptable alternatives. My graduating class was a disappointment to the administration, three of us decided on “none of the above.”
Did anyone see the typo on question 3c?
Are you kidding, Dan? That thing is chock full of typos.
My bad…I got a little ill in my stomach after the first and stopped reading!
I should send this to my cousin who’s been a missionary for almost ten years. She’d laugh at this. I love chatting with her through Facebook.
Oh, yeah, and I should let another missionary friend of ours know that his efforts are pointless since he’s on Facebook.
He’d laugh, too.
We should send them a Kindle.
Or a commodore 64 with an ink jet printer…
oooops..meant dot matrix printer…gee george!!
INK JET! You actually had that thought!
You must now go say 40 Hail Jack’s.
I just saw this:
God’s commission to the local church is to get the Great Commission to the entire world.
(not the gospel, just the great commission).
http://www.fbcpv.net/First_Baptist_Church/Missions.html
10e is a terrific stump you question! I assume he’s looking for no would not accept a Bible Church. 10d seems kind of pointless if you answer yes, you are gonna be denied regardless of how many exlusions you put on 10d. 10a I have no idea what he would want for an answer, presumably the preacher/man of god, but he can’t find that in scripture.
Baptist Briders: 10a. Only the local church. 10b Only water baptism, NO OTHER. 10c. If you say yes you lose. 10d. pointless ? the only real answer is BAPTIST baptism 10e. NO because he only got wet because that “assembly” was not a church and only the CHURCH has the authority to baptize. 11a. The only realy believe in open or closed communion, close is just another term for open in their eyes.
Sadly, I know this stuff inside and out and every explanation they use to refute what is normal.
Why that’s very RC of them don’t ya think?
This guy found fifty missionaries who actually passed his questionaire? Fifty people who won’t use facebook, don’t believe in the universal church, don’t believe women should wear pants, etc.? That just seems to be a lot of people spreading a warped version of Christianity to me.
🙁
So True. They despise RC but carry some of the same traits. I think there is a lesson to be learned there?
@Don. No thats NOT catholic at all.THe Catholic church accepted my baptism by a AoG preacher!! Catholic docrtine says that anyone can baptize as long as it is in the name of the Trinity and with water. Catholics are more open than mosy protestant churches on some issues.
To clarify, I was talking about Church authority… the RC (at least as I understand the way it was explained to me) holds that the one holy Roman Catholic Church is necessary for salvation. I wasn’t particularly commenting on the baptism issue but that the “church” claims all authority in such matters. That is the commonality between the Baptist Briders and the RC. (did that clear up my comment or muddy it more?) 😯
OMG, he says there’s a distinction between “close” communion, and “closed” communion.
Hope this goes in the right place…
For the record the RC accepts the baptism from other denominations as long as its Trinitarian (in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.)
I think it’s two different words
Close, not as in “close the door”, but as in, “we are close in doctrine”.
And closed obviously as in “the door is closed”
It’s still a stupid distinction and it should be open. Especially when the pastors spend 20 minutes preaching damnation and death if you eat & drink without being baptised or some rubbish. They then go and take the choice away from the person anyway…
12c also pointless if you answered 12b yes, no one is going to read your answer to 12c other than for how to chastise you.
Rob – Since you have thoroughly studied the questionnaire, I think you are ready for the mission field my friend
Something tells me being a missionary in the jungle is easier than navigating that questionnaire 😆
#25 if they were on facebook we could all click the resent button! 🙂
I’m confused. They *don’t* believe in a universal church?
correct…
Universal? They don’t even believe in openly associating with people w/ identical statements of faith, without at least some kind of major disclaimer, and possibly a strong threat of separation should any unforseen doctrinal issue arise.
This one looks like a Baptist to Mexico, their site lists a Francisco Penner to Canada, so almost definitely not the same. Dang.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1621284822
Actually, it appears by the style of her dress and her hair being pulled back that they might be a “plain” family (think Mennonite, Amish, etc) Sadly, I’m not sure we can pin that one on the Baptists. Lol
ANOTHER 1st Baptist? Hey fundies, YOU CAN’T ALL BE FIRST, K???
LOL! Win!
apparently he missed out on the fact that macintoshes/apple, inc. are evil – it is clearly laid out in this article: http://objectiveministries.org/creation/propaganda.html
😎
WOW. Just WOW. You can’t make this sh*t up.
Well, maybe you can make this stuff up. I see now that whole site is a hoax. ha ha
shhhhh! don’t tell him that 😛
Dude, this is a parody site.
after all the nonsense I’ve seen that is real… it takes me a while
You would think that fundies would support social networking sites. With them, pestering friends and neighbors is no longer just a Saturday morning activity!
This church is in my hometown, and I am ashamed to admit that I have been to it a couple of times. 🙄
I think we should inundate them with forms filled out according to our personal beliefs and have them sort through 150 or so . Would love to see their response
“so called economic times”? he probably doesn’t believe there ever was a recession, since barack obama is a democrat liar and all.
I think he thinks Pres fired all those people and is refusing to hire them back.
Ok, here’s the lowdown on their missionaries:
Nicholas Dunn (China): Facebook http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/nicknkd
Chuck Callahan (Japan): Can’t say for sure, but there are an awful lot of “anonymous” pictureless Charles Callahans on facebook. Just what you’d do if you didn’t want one of your 1st Baptist Churches to find out.
John Carlisle (Australia): Does it count if another church has him listed on THEIR Facebook site? http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=295215179561
Navi Bola (Fiji): http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001109920200
Monte Barlow (Slovenia): http://www.facebook.com/monte.barlow
Paul Pierucki (Romania): Sadly, Paul doesn’t seem to be on Facebook. His daughter is. But he does have his own website. http://www.jesusisworthy.com/ Isn’t that the internet equivalent of saying “No, I don’t listen to rock music. Oh, but I do have my own rock band.”?
OK kids! That’s all the time I have to search right now. Fun, no? 😈
One of the more ironic and moronic statements I’ve heard came from a fundy pastor who was trying to be fair-minded and appease the ‘liberal’ faction in the church:
“You know, Facebook is really, terribly dangerous, but I don’t want to speak too strongly, because it might be useful to missionaries who are on the field and want to keep up with their families and prayer requests.”
😕 Doesn’t that indicate that for missionaries to keep up, EVERYONE ELSE must join too, thereby negating the condemnations of the site that took up the other 59 minutes of the sermon? {facepalm.}
Ahhhhh, my current fundy church FREAKED out about facebook back in ’08. It was evil, horrible, everything else. If it’s on the internet it’s bad!! My dad tried to make me give up my facebook: didn’t happen.
Now half the church/college students have one. The staff uses it to snoop on everyone *rolls eyes* I had one fuss at me because I listed Coldplay in my favorite music section. That little talk didn’t go over so well….
well done with Coldplay, btw 😀 my old IFB pastor raked my over the coals about them, too!
well, George,, you caught me.
I would have caught flak over that at my old church, but now my pastor, who is my friend on facebook, won’t complain about the fact that I have Dream Theater on my favorite music list. He is a big fan of the Beatles and Led Zeppelin himself…
More awesome bands ALRIGHT!
Sounds like this church needs a Facebook Fan Page. 😆
I hate to admit this, but I went through the questionnaire, and I knew exactly the correct fundy answer to all of them.
It seems my Fundy seminary training didn’t go to waste after all.
george is working on filling out that application/questionaire and we are going to submit it first of the year.
Think he has a snowball’s chance? 🙄
But it’s going to be glorious! 😈
You will be sharing a copy with SFL I hope?
Stuff Fundies Like – going to ‘mission fields’ such as Wales UK where they don’t have to learn another language?
Just an assumption here, but be interested to hear more informed opinion on this one.
From the bottom of the doctrinal statement:
“The church of the living God does not have time for petty arguments, foolish and unlearned questions and the like. This is not the time for factions, frictions, and foolish divisions.”
It appears you all did your job – the questionnaire is no longer publicly listed on their web site!
It would be interesting to see numbers on how many churches change their site after being featured on SFL.
I actually downloaded a copy and have it as a word document… I’ll check with george and see if he ever filled his out.
Although I am unsure if any of you who actually read or wrote on this site are actually Christians I hope you do realize that the Bible says that God will persecute those that persecute Christians so I hope you all get yours when you answer to God once your life here on earth is over.
Its has been a while since the last post so maybe at least some of you have gotten a life
Classic IFB response: Go straight to questioning the salvation of those who do not drink your flavor of kool-aid. So predictable.
My friend, persecution involves things like killing people, throwing them in prison, beating them, taking away their property, not letting them work, or forcing them to leave the country.
Getting a chuckle out of a dumb thing someone said or wrote is NOT persecution. It’s just having a little fun.
Anne,
I look forward to the day when human sin is completely removed. Then we’ll actually be able to fellowship as sisters in Christ. Until then may God bless you. We’ll get along someday 🙂
May God open your eyes to the glory of truly living in GRACE. It is a marvelous thing.
–LL
I know this thread is old, but I can add to it since I am very familiar with this church. Some of you are wondering how we can have so many missionaries considering the terrible questionnaire exists. Most of those missionaries were supported long before the questionnaire was required, so they were all grandfathered in. I am constantly surprised by the number of missionaries and evangelists we have visit us who have Facebook accounts. I’m sure our Pastor cringes every time one of them mentions it. I agree that too much emphasis is placed on so called Biblical Standards, and too little placed on things that really matter. There have been at least 6 families who have left the church in the past couple of months. Some because of the intrusiveness of the standards, especially women not wearing pants – at any time, even at home. One family left because they visited another church with some friends, and got lambasted for it. Not yet confirmed that they’ve gone for good, but one family that hasn’t been in several weeks, was a deacon’s family. I keep wondering when alarms will go off with the remaining people that something is terribly wrong there. I have no doubt that I will be out one of these days, but for now I have my reasons for staying – entertainment aside :twisted:.