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FWOTW: akjbible.com

260 Comments

We haven’t done a FWOTW in a while but this one was just too good (and by that I mean bad) to pass up.

akjbible.com is the home of BIBLE BAPTIST MINISTRIES and WELCOME BAPTIST CHURCH of Dallas, NC. Evidently, at Welcome Baptist the “welcome” only applies to people who use the KJV, like Confederate flags, and aren’t inter-racially married.

Enjoy!

260 thoughts on “FWOTW: akjbible.com”

  1. From the article “Segregation or Integration”:

    “God is a separatist, He discriminates, that is, He isn’t brainwashed by the “Sitcoms” on TV and the News Media, He knows that there is a difference between the races because He separated the races and that is why ever since Genesis 4:15 when He made a difference in the races, the Devil has been trying to put them together.”

    Wow. Just Wow.

    1. HA! I was just watching 2 and 1/2 men with God the other night, and he had no clue about that allergic reaction to medication Charlie Sheen had recently had! πŸ™‚

    2. I agree. God is a separatist. But isn’t it weird that a KJV IFB website says they believe in one of the fundamental tenets of Calvinism.

      Oh wait.

    3. I keep thinking “this has got to be a parody” but it isn’t–not on purpose anyway.

      Like Democracy, freedom (Independence) allows for all sorts —including some real nuts. i.e. Pelosi, Lady GaGa, Ruckman…and this guy!

    4. And here all this time I thought there was only one race…the human race. Thank you for posting that and showing me the error of my ways.

      1. Wouldn’t it be interesting if someone talked this guy into genetic testing, only for him to find out that he himself is “mixed-race”? He’s in the Southeast, so that’s quite possible.

        (And here I am actually disappointed that a relative on one side of the family who did have the test done turned out not to have any Native American markers… )

        1. Everyone on earth, or at least nearly everyone, is mixed-race if you go far enough back on the family tree.

        2. Yeah, I heard that speech…these same people didn’t notice that my eyes are slightly slanted, my cheekbones are high, I never lose my “tan” in the winter, and I’ve got shovel teeth!

          They never looked past the blue eyes, and then wondered why I found them so offensive. πŸ‘Ώ

        3. What are “shovel teeth”?
          I mean no disrespect; I’ve just never heard that term before.

        4. “Normal” teeth are naturally curved in the front, but the backs are mostly flat.

          “Shovel teeth” means there are “canyons” in the back of your front four teeth. Your teeth are shaped like shovels.

          It’s a trait commonly found in Native American teeth and it doesn’t take a whole lot of Native ancestry to get it.

        5. Hmm, my front teeth are shaped that way, but I have no Native American ancestry that I know of.

        6. Many Native American tribes simply disappeared rather than have forcibly relocated. They moved to new areas and pretended to be immigrants. They intermarried with the people already there and after a few generations completely disappeared. This happened along the whole east coast.

          It’s interesting research. πŸ˜€

    6. Thanks for quoting that so I didn’t have to click on that link. It scared me. That is just…. what do I say? It’s despicable.

  3. “We’re a King James Bible believing, Jesus Christ exaltin’, Devil hatin’, sinner lovin’, sin hatin’, fundamental, separated, pretribulational, premillennial, gun totin’, chicken eatin’, Independent Baptist Church….”

    Wow, that says it all, huh? I wouldn’t drive within ten miles of those yahoos πŸ˜†

    1. I see your point, and utterly agree with you. I just wonder how Jesus would react? Would he avoid people, just because they are clearly nutjobs?

      Not a criticism of you, or what you said, just a thought.

      1. I believe it is a “heart” matter.
        Christ dealt with those who were on the outside of religion much differently than he did those who smugly wrapped themselves up in it.

      2. It’s always valid to ask this, since I do want my life to reflect Jesus. But Paul says a lot about how we must separate from disobedient brothers (growing up IFB, we know ALL about separation!!!), and this guy qualifies much more so than the Baptist church down the street that uses a drum set during worship. (I know the steps include going to him one on one and humbly confronting him with his sin; I hope someone in his life has told him the truth.)

        Also, Don’s point is accurate about how Jesus reacted to others. To the helpless outcast, he showed compassion and forgiveness. To the earnest seeker, he gave wisdom (Nicodemus). But to those who rejected Him because they were secure in their own righteousness, He had words of woe.

        1. Thanks to both of you for your gracious replies. Maybe I’m just too soft – I want to see grace extended to all.

          You’re right, Jesus didn’t have too much time for those taken up with pomposity and religion. But then, he had time for those we don’t expect him to. Maybe this guy, even with his crock of crap, is someone Jesus would hang out with.

          There but for the grace of God, and all that…

          Also, thank you for the gentle welcome into SFL. I coulda got a roasting.

        2. People who come in with an attitude of sincerity and kindness don’t usually get flamed. πŸ™‚

        4. I don’t think that His harshness to those who were smugly leading people astray precludes His extension of grace to them – but given their condition, a wake-up call was necessary for them to be able to receive and act on the offer of grace. I earnestly believe that grace is indeed offered to all, including the “… King James Bible believing, Jesus Christ exaltinÒ€ℒ, Devil hatinÒ€ℒ, sinner lovinÒ€ℒ, sin hatinÒ€ℒ, fundamental, separated,Ò€¦” crowd.

        5. @David Marriott, welcome aboard. Elizabeth’s words are truth and well said. Usually we are snarky towards the Fundieverse (the legalist subculture many of us came out of, but we have had so good times here as well. There have been times of very sweet fellowship!)Welcome to the journey.

          @Der_Berater Well said. Christ’s words to the Religious Far-Right of his day did not preclude the extension of Grace as we see with Nicodemus and Joseph who were both religious leaders. Like you said sometimes a good dose of reality is the cure for religious psychosis. It will either humble or it will harden.

    1. No, no, no, he’s all wrong. Discover cards are the ones that like using 6’s.

      But wait, Hubby did once have that one card… never mind. πŸ˜€

      2. I have a Discover card, and a Visa card. Does that make me a member of two different Satanic cults?

  6. Also nice to see them mix in the heresy of defining Jesus as a deity and neglecting any mention of his humanity. Kudos, fundyland!

    1. I made it through years in Evangelicalism without hearing much if any emphasis on the Incarnation. I guess it was another one of those things that was “too Catholic.” πŸ˜•

    2. “Also nice to see them mix in the heresy of defining Jesus as a deity and neglecting any mention of his humanity. Kudos, fundyland!”

      Yiiie.

      I’d like to throw these characters in a room with some Hyles folks who preach the eternal humanity of Christ and let them fight it out. Who wants to bring the popcorn?

      These people make my old church look positively liberal. πŸ™„

  7. I think that website broke my brain.
    Interesting how all that scripture is brought out to defend their defenseless racism, and they conveniently skip over Moses’s second wife.

    1. And Rahab and Ruth…Non Jewish women in the lineage of Jesus don’t matter I guess. πŸ˜•

      1. Don’t you love how God included the despised and the rejected, the outcast and the sinner in the lineage of Christ!!! (Think of Tamar too!) What grace! What humility! I am SO grateful that He loves us so!

      1. You’re right. The Bible has a lot of mentions of tribes and “nations” (which refers to either tribes or city-states), but not races as the term is used in the modern era.

        1. Needless to say, skin color was not the dintinguishing characteristic for these tribes or “nations.”

    3. Oh yeah they do. I was taught at my fundy church that Moses was never as powerful as he was before he married “that woman.”

  8. Last post for a while. I’m thrilled that the “one world, one race, socialist test” link is a dead one. I don’t know what he thinks of other races.

        7. Let’s get a whole tour bus. I have some friends at a local AME Zion church who may be willing to go with us, and of course we need some Hispanics… We will need someone to act as a tourguide with a bullhorn.

          “Ok, let’s keep the tour together here. What we have here folks is a authentic King James Bible believing, Jesus Christ exaltinÒ€ℒ, Devil hatinÒ€ℒ, sinner lovinÒ€ℒ, sin hatinÒ€ℒ, fundamental, separated, pretribulational, premillennial, gun totinÒ€ℒ, chicken eatinÒ€ℒ, Independent Baptist ChurchÒ€¦.Ò€
          As we enter you will notice the rack of Chick Tracts on the wall. Chick Tracts have been known to spontainiously save those who read them, so handle at your own risk. Pay close attention to the world map on the back wall and the number of strings eminating from the State of North Carolina going to all the places where those who have been taken on for support hope to go someday, once they acturally raise enough support to go that is. (As you can see many are affiliated with the Perpetual Deputation Missions board.)
          A special treat is the “Faith Promise Giving” Thermometer near by with prayer letters from those intrepid world travelers. (of course most strings will be terminating in Montanna, and South Dakota.)

          As you file in to the pews please skip over where the regulars have marked their spot with their wide margin KJB family Bible. If you were to loob beneath on of these landmarkers you would notice the change of color in the upholstry on the pew due to having not been moved since placed there 20 years ago.

          As you find your seats we want to draw your attention to the White Piano in the corner…” 😎

        10. Every where I go, it’s imaginary white pianos! Next thing you know we’ll have a white piano commenter on here that I also won’t be able to see!

        11. @ Robin, you’re right. My regular old self should be offensive enough without a costume.

          Please leave enough time before this tour leaves for me to get a tattoo. πŸ˜‰

        12. Yeah, I gave george the idea and he typed it up. But george will be attending this trip in his professional capacity as we will be going into what looks like a pandemic area that is in dire need of his services. 😯

        13. Id lkike to suggest some sfl gear for that trip! Idk if they have bulk discounts. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I may be jealous of NC’ers on a Sunday!

        16. Haha! I knew this day would come! I see nothing! The blank white avatar (not a piano) is a nice touch.

        18. “The blank white avatar (not a piano) is a nice touch.”

          What, you can’t even see the avatar? :mrgreen:

        19. “lkike”… isn’t that half the title to that Hawaiian Christmas song?

          Rob, maybe White P’s reply is too bright. Try wearing your sunglasses at night… that way you may see it.

        20. Dang, Faith just pointed out this church has no physical address! Poo!
          We will have to take it off of the Ò€œFundy Maniacal Misery TourÒ€ schedule.

  12. Anyone interested in taking $1,500 off him in the contest/challenge to “prove a Catholic dogma from Scripture”?

    Obv we all know he’s gonna cherry pick which dogmas and then deny anything has been proven, but would be awfully funny to read that correspondence.

      1. Yep, same here. I would love for someone to take some serious cash off him. I’m guessing you could win a lawsuit against them for making that offer.

    2. Presumably he’s the judge of when something’s “proven,” so I wouldn’t plan how to spend that money just yet.

      I’ll give you a million dollars if you can prove my right foot has five toes, but only if you use proofs that I accept, and my definitions of terms. For starters, counting toes isn’t really proving, and that big one is a thumb, not a toe.

      1. The thing is you make an offer like that, and don’t have enormous amounts of disclaimers, you are liable to pay out assuming someone fulfills the basic requirement in a reasonable manner. He easily could lose 10s of thousands in a lawsuit

    3. I’m not interested in his challenge but I am interested in starting my own $1500 offer to anyone who can scriptually prove which texts ought to be in the canon of scripture.

    2. And for what its worth – aren’t lions the bad guy if you really want to use a NT first-century historical perspective? Christian school mascot Lions always freak me out a little bit. Can I get a vote for the Crusaders!

  14. This one is mind-boggling. Apparently Noah had a white wife.. and Ham was black… He takes thousands of words to come back around to:
    “I believe that the sin of Genesis 9 was rape by a black man of a white woman…His admission comes in the form of a foul street word that can be heard anytime in almost any conversation with a black man. The first part of the word is Mother.”
    http://www.akjbible.com/Noah's%20Curse%20on%20Ham's%20Seed.html

    Stuff Wacko Fundys like: Pure Racism.

    I’m guessing he thinks Jesus is a white american too.

    1. He is just this side of his mentor’s beliefs about the sin of Ham…when Noah was naked and drunk, Ham became a little TOO curious…this can be verified in Ruckman’s Genesis “commentary”.

    2. Oh, please, anyone with even a smidgen of Biblical literacy could tear this joker’s argument about Ham apart, and do it in a way that is technically fundamentalist.

      Scripture says that only Ham’s son Canaan was cursed. If you go by a reasonable Bible genealogy, the Africans are descended from Cush, Ham’s son who was _not_ cursed. Canaan’s descendants no longer exist, while Cush’s descendants still do. Done.

    3. Why is he assuming Ham looked like modern Africans?

      Ham, Shem, and Japheth were all brothers, so any outstanding genetic differences in their descendents would have most likely been because of the wives the sons married.

      As a point of interest, if NoahÒ€ℒs sons did indeed married women of different genetic appearances, then GodÒ€ℒs overall favor on their pre-flood lifestyle is interesting.

      Also, it sickens me to see this man try to connect his own hate, pride, and prejudice to God.

      1. There’s no reason to assume Ham looked African. The Bible isn’t much on giving too many descriptions of what people looked like. You’ve got Saul, and David, and maybe a handful of others. That’s it.

        1. The KJV Bible says God “marked” him after he saw his father naked. I was taught in fundyschool that that meant he was turned black. point a to point k, somehow.

  15. That would be the handy artwork of Peter Ruckman, Renaissance man, Superhero, Thrice-Married Pastor and all around Fundamentalist thug.

  16. Oh wow!! In the “Segregation or Integration” section talking about how the races came to be:

    HAM; Gen 10:6 And the sons of Ham; Cush, and Mizraim, and Phut, and Canaan.

    NOTE: If you look up these names in the maps in the back of your Bible, you will see he goes south to Africa. See Ps. 105:23,27; 106:22 where Egypt is called the “land of Ham”. Egypt is northern Africa. Also Cush is Ethiopia, the purest form is in central Africa.

    Personality traits: They are “Fleshy”, They have a sex problem. This is also their temptation, 1 Jn. 2:16 lust of the flesh. This is a fact, and if you have lived around them, talked to them you would know I’m telling you just like it is.

    They are the best servants in the world. Gen 9:26 says Canaan will be Shem’s servant and Gen. 9:27 says Canaan will be Japheph’s servant. Gen 9:25 “And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.”

    NOTE: A servant of servants is like, King of Kings, the top King. Ham’s descendants make the best servants. He is cursed because of what Ham, his father did. see Gen. 9:20-27. Canaan was cursed because Ham’s sin had to do with his seed and God had already blessed Ham; Gen. 9:1 “And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.”

    Racial characteristics: completely black except for the palms of their hands and the bottoms of their feet. They have black, kinky hair, their eyelids are heavy, their nostrils are spread out and their lips are thick. Ham is the younger son. see Gen. 9:24 “And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.”

      1. I actually checked the Southern Poverty Law Center site to see if he was listed on there as a hate group. Qualifies as one in my book, but apparently not in theirs.

        1. Well, he’s only an individual. Believe me, they’ve got bigger groups to deal with in that area. Maybe he’s part of one?

        2. Yeah I did google the site for a couple of the charlotte groups. No hits, but I wouldn’t be surprised if was involved in them

        3. Maybe the SPLC just doesn’t know about the Devil-hatin’, gun-totin’, chicken-eatin’, etc. Welcome Baptist Church yet. After all, it seems to be just one guy, or one guy and his wife, and his churches keep closing for lack of members, so you can see how the SPLC might be preoccupied with more robust hate groups.

    2. We could agree that there are probably more concrete-minded people who are African Americans than any other race. I attribute this to environmental and cultural factors and not to a genetic “curse.” It’s just not in the Bible.

    3. This mentality is the reason for so many “Christian Schools” here in NC. The IFB churches around here realized there was big bucks to be made in the 60’s and 70’s playing on the fear of the effect of white children having to be bussed “over there into that neighborhood.” And they realized if they opened their doors to all the white families who wanted to avoid cross bussing then they would have a built in soul-sinning ministry as well. Sort of a “Get ’em in the door so we can save ’em.” mentality. Thankfully people are waking up to the fact that the current crop of “Christian Schools” are becoming irrelavent. People are waking up to the fact that the education is sub-par. (I know FU was discussed here a while back but the regular schooling is just as bad. In fact a friend of my daughter finally woke up to the fact BJU was not accredited and tried to go to a school in the UNC system. They did not allow her in because none of her college courses would transfer and her Christian High School education left her deficient in both math and science. It wasn’t a problem getting into BJU with the difficiency… but a real school to get a real education exposed it and would not accept her until she makes it up.) Oh, and two years of BOJO has left her nearly 10k in debt.

      1. Yeah, my hubby would know a thing or two about that. Full fundy bachelor’s degree but not a single credit transferred so he had to start completely over…

        2. I felt bad. The other day his academic advisor went to the fundy school’s website and said “Yeah, this was not a good place to go”. He’s happy that it worked out the way it did. Things will be better this way.

      2. Yep. Four years at PBC plus 1 year year of grad school got me into UNC as a full fledged Freshman with 0 credit hours transferred. I got in based on my high school transcripts. I may as well have written my B.A. on notebook paper with a crayon.

  17. A quote from the site “I believe because of the years I have watched Ham’s descendants latch on to a white woman to try to raise their own station in life. The black men want to return to what must have been their original color. Try putting 100 black men (worldly lost ones) in a line that gives them an opportunity to choose between a blond petite white woman, a woman of their own race, a white man, or a man of their own race. Tell me which one he will choose for sex virtually every time? Answer this question please!”

    Nothing at all racist here folks.

    1. I tried to add the eyeroll icon but it did not post so here it is πŸ™„

      This guy reminds me of the Jeff Foxworthy joke “You know you are a redneck if you get kicked out of the KKK for being a bigot”.

      Check out his Confederate page too. What a hoot!

  18. Darrell, Why does it seem like most of these crazy places you bring to our attention are in my beloved North Carolina?

    Sigh.

  19. I’m really disappointed that the Calvinist song link didn’t open. I was really looking forward to it.

    The Confederate flag highlights really brought out the lion background though.

  20. you know, these yahoo’s who “start churches” in the South where at least most are sympathetic to their mental disorder, rant and rave about stupid and inconsiderate beliefs while receiving “atta-boy” pats on the back from their inbred brethren. I would suggest they try to start a church like THIS one in Mass., CT., Rhode Island, Maine or New Jersey…let’s see how far this rhetoric would fly!

    1. Well, given that many of these churches tend to consist of 15-20 people, many related, I’m sure he could gather something together. Birds of a feather…

        2. Oh yes, and so have I. Now, do you think his Dixie Confie racism would last a week on the streets of the Big Apple? πŸ˜›

        3. I don’t think it’d make much headway, but NYC’ers are pretty good at just ignoring & walking around idiots.

  21. “In fact, the Americans who fought the Revolution and wrote the Constitution had the highest percentage of native-born Americans there have ever been in this country, before or since. The last of the big waves of immigration to America ended by 1710, and most of occurred long before that.”

    Methinks I have detected a David Barton fan! This guy is seriously messed up!

  22. Under the How to go to Heaven section, I was told: “You must see,” “Just ask,” and “You may pray.” So much for salvation not of works.

    Also, “It doesn’t matter what some preacher has told you, you go by what the ‘Authorized King Bible’ SAYS”
    Is that any king or did you have someone specific in mind?

    1. King James! The man who sponsored my wonderful Anglican Bible that we use every Sunday at Mass. πŸ˜›

  23. WOW! This one isn’t just the fundamentalist website of the week…more like of ALL TIME! Now excuse me while I go bleach my brain and eyes! 😯

  24. Okay, now he is going against verifiable facts “There was a plebiscite in Tennessee and the population there voted three to one to join the Southern Nation.”

    TN actually voted overwhelmingly to stay in the Union. 54Γ’β‚¬β€œ46%.

    To quote my favorite NPR program:
    “Non Impediti Ratione Cogitationis”
    (Unencumbered by the thought process)

  25. This is crucial:

    “Some folks in Charlotte, NC wanted to start a church, so I pastored Bible Believers Baptist Church for three years and shut it down after all the people left. I’m sure I got out of the Lord’s will by not trying to keep that church open and I guess I was put on the shelf for a while because of quitting when the Lord didn’t tell me to quit. We started another church in Springwood, close to North Belmont in the first Sunday in 1999 and had to shut it down in 2006”

    So, the “fruit” of his ministry, thus far, is two churches that he had to “shut down” because everyone left? Yikes… πŸ˜‰

  26. From his testimony page:
    “so I pastored Bible Believers Baptist Church for three years and shut it down after all the people left.”

    “We started another church in Springwood, close to North Belmont in the first Sunday in 1999 and had to shut it down in 2006.”

    I think I notice a pattern there. What is the common feature?

    1. Apparently, heÒ€ℒs just too holy for the lowly denizens of this world to fully appreciate. πŸ™„

  27. Oh, and I love how they have several of those horrible white scripture signs around the website. Anytime I see one of those in someone’s yard I think “PSYCHO ALERT”! πŸ˜†

  28. Must. stop. looking! I can’t believe he has a JED CLAMPETT song on this site!!! He “spiritualized” the Beverly Hillbillies Song. πŸ™„ I have now officially seen everything! (where is a vomiting smiley face when you need it?)

  29. “Please read these “Chick Publications” Gospel Tracts and let me know if you were saved because of them.”

    I really wish that these supposed Christ followers would stop using language like this. No one has ever been saved because of a Chick tract or any other tract.

    SFL = arrogance and pride.

    1. “No one has ever been saved because of a Chick tract or any other tract.”

      😯

      How could you possibly know/think this?

      1. You’ve missed a lot in the Bible, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you missed this too: Jesus saves, not Jack Chick.

        1. No need for another personal attack Rob,

          “because of” and “by” are two different things.

          Also, the statement concerned all tracts of any kind, not just Chick tracts.

      2. John, you knew what he was saying when he said it. Instead, you chose the low road and made an issue out of perfectly understandable comment. Tracts, in and of themselves, save no one…THAT’S what he was saying. Does your congregation know you spend your time antagonizing wounded sheep ❓

        1. I asked a sincere question…the implication was that he did not belive someone could be saved because of, as a result of, a tract.
          There was no ambiguity. Only he could answer that.

          Is SFL then a “No Fundamentalists Welcome” site?
          Discussion is not antagonism.

        2. also

          (James 5:19-20) “Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him;
          Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.”

          (Jude 1:22-23) “And of some have compassion, making a difference: And others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire; hating even the garment spotted by the flesh.”

        3. John you’ve played so many insincere & disingenuous games noone believes the sincerity of your questions. You can’t possibly have missed what the point of that post was.

        4. I’m judging by what he actually said.

          Why would he argue against the statement as it was said, if he agreed with it?

          The ONLY obvious implication is what I interpreted, which is why i asked the question of him.

          πŸ˜•

        5. Still tired of your act. Wasn’t funny in the Eglon clip posted so far back, hasn’t improved, and still sucks.

      3. antagonism is determined by context, in this case, you said…
        “How could you possibly know/think this?” You knew what he was saying.

        Again, does your Deacon board and congregation know you spend your time antagonizing wounded sheep? Judging from previous posts, you *know* this is a hostile environment for you yet you continue assert yourself which easily translates into less than honorable motives; would your congregation approve? Is this somehow glorifying God (from your perspective)?

        If you really examine the question and look beyond the obvious, Chick tracts are chock full’o assumptions and stereotypes that are hardly accurate. For instance, “Alberto” is based on fraud and lies and only sells because it’s sensational, not true. Tracts are based soley on the subjective and are meant to ‘scare’ people into the Kingdom…it’s funny how we talk about “perfect love casting out fear” but Fundamentalist’s primary weapon is the ‘Big Stick’ called HELL, you don’t respond to John 3:16 then they put the proverbial ‘gun’ to your head and SCARE you in.

        1. Smith,

          I didn’t…still don’t …that’s why I asked HIM….not you…him…to clarify.

          I haven’t defended or discussed Chick tracts effeciency/credibility.

          The question posed >>>to Polished Shaft<<< was if he really meant what he said, which is that no tracts of any kind have been the cause of a single soul ever being saved.

        2. John, you’re on a public board so it comes with the territory.

          Soooo…Deacon board knows? That’s a big negatory. Congregation knows? Ditto (nope).

        3. John,
          Oh, it’s not lost on me WHO you asked. That said, you’re just begging the question. Why is the point of the post only lost on you? I’ll tell you why John, you *adore* the fight..SOMEONE has to stand up for God, right? Life all Fundamentalists, you like the pursuit, struggle and ensuing fight to the death over what you perceive as truth. In this case, Polished Shaft made a very plain and understandable assertion that tracts in and of themselves, save no one and you decide to parse words and end up with a flury of negative comments and have the absolute nerve to play the victim. Yawn.

        4. Smith

          I ‘m not playing the victim (love how convoluted your set up for that was BTW LOL), I am saying that you butted in and made yourself look stupid, and now you continue to do so.

          The only thing obvious was the implication by Polished Shaft that no one anywhere has ever been saved BECAUSE OF any tract at any time in any way.

        5. John, whatever gets you through the day! SOME people use pills, SOME people use a drink or two, JOHN uses denial. You never did answer any of my questions: Does your Deacon board know your harrassing wounded sheep? Does your congregation? πŸ˜‰

        2. Guys, guys, guys,

          I asked this question of Polished Shaft—not the rest of you!

          YOU involved YOURSELVES!

          Chill out and stop prowling

        3. You’re right. I may have to stay away for awhile. It’s just too difficult to not say something.

        4. Alm: Don’t leave. Just don’t engage in troll-feeding. Yes, I know it’s hard, and I’m having to break myself of it too. Don’t let that bully ruin your fun.

        5. @alm517, don’t go! For a bit, I too was thinking about giving up on SFL for a while, but I think I’ll stay. It IS hard not to respond, but I’ll try. I still think Luke 11:53-54 apply: “And as he said these things unto them, the scribes and the Pharisees began to urge him vehemently, and to provoke him to speak of many things: laying wait for him, and seeking to catch something out of his mouth, that they might accuse him.” I’ve seen a lot of provoking and accusing going on. It’s frustrating and it is taking the fun out of SFL, but I don’t want to give in. On another post, “The Silent Majority” said they liked reading the arguing going on, but that’s just because they’re SILENT!!! Anyone who posts never knows if something they say is going to be jumped on and they’ll be accused. That’s NOT fun, especially for people newly stepped away from fundamentalism and still feeling a bit gun-shy!

      5. Typical trollbait.

        John, when are you gonna figure out that we’re not interested in your “conversation”? We’ve already made up our minds on the worth (or lack thereof) of Chick tracts or tracts altogether, so why bother? As many have pointed out before me (in much more eloquent terms), this site is therapy, not discussion.

        Now go drop some Chick tracts on your neighbors’ doorsteps.

        1. New Desktop – $975
          New Monitor – $225
          Broadband Internet Access – $39.95 per month
          Watching John get called out again for the troll he is – Priceless

        2. FTW!! (And Scorpio, before you think I’m attacking you again, remember that technically, I’m replying to Mark Thomas’ post…) :mrgreen:

        3. No, don’t tell him to do that. Nobody deserves waking up and finding those things on their porch. They should just be shredded and then composted. They should have no problem turning into manure–not much of a change at all.

        4. @G2L: You’re right. My last suggestion was clearly made in error (or as a hasty afterthought, whichever).

      6. No one has ever been saved by or because of a Chick tract or any other tract. I stand by that comment.

        I think most of the good people here understand my request to fundies to refrain from the man-centered theological language.

        It is by grace alone through faith alone…not by Chick tracts or John’s 1-2-3 evangelism technique alone. To God alone should go the glory.

        1. No need to defend your statement, PS. Anyone with basic comprehension skills could see exactly what you were getting at. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named just hadn’t had his attention/fight fix for a few hours.

        2. Well said PS!
          It is by grace alone through faith aloneÒ€¦not by Chick tracts or JohnÒ€ℒs 1-2-3 evangelism technique alone. To God alone should go the glory.
          A-Men!

        3. I used to worry that I wasn’t wise enough or aggressive enough or funny enough to effectively witness to people. I was worried that my own personal deficiencies would send people to hell. How liberating it is to realize that it’s all Jesus! Now instead of witnessing under duress, guilt, and fear, I can reach out in joy and peace – it’s all because of Jesus; it’s all through Jesus!
          What a relief!

        4. Yes! PW you nailed it there. The most liberating moment in all of fundiedom for me what the moment I realized what you just said. It was like the weight of the world was lifted off of my shoulders. It is sooo cool when you see others say the same thing and you know God is opening eyes to Truth. That gets me excited and fills my soul! (I’m rejoicing and waving my hands like a Pentecostal! …you should see it… on second thought sorta glad you can’t) πŸ˜€

    1. Life is easier when I pretend people like this don’t actually exist. The self-righteousness is practically steaming off the page. Whom is he seeking to promote on his website? Maybe a Bible version, maybe the Confederacy, most certainly himself, but beyond a shadow of a doubt not Jesus Christ!!!!

    1. No joke! Darrell needs to ease us back into the FWOTW with something a litlle less soul destroying! πŸ˜‰

  32. Hateful. Utterly hateful.

    Did anyone notice that the language used to justify his views on race and interracial relationships sounds strikingly similar to the language used by CBWM (sic) and others to talk about gender and gender roles?

    1. Yes. The arguments to keep nonwhites down and the arguments to keep women in the same position are basically the same thing. Only the most minor of tweakage is needed to go between the two.

      Separate the white folks from the rest. Separate the men from the walking breeding mares… I mean women. Separate, separate, separate, and then rule.

      Gag me.

      (Why isn’t there a smiley that looks like he’s going to barf? I could use that about now.)

    1. The automobile (or horseless carriage) was invited almost 100 years old. It took the Holy Spirit almost 100 years to invited a magnetic bumper sticker? No wonder there’s no cure for cancer.

      2. Just saw this thanks to Bro Fox comment. Very hilarious! The Holy Spirit is so often behind the times and slow to respond! Especially in fundyland! πŸ™‚ Big LOL

    2. “One brother even nailed them to a tree in his front yard by the road! Glory to God!!!”

      Way to use that magnetic sign for all it’s worth. Next week, tune in for “How to staple duct tape to the wall”

    1. Actually, I’m surprised they’re not all from Florida. Fark.com had to make a “Florida” tag because of all of the weird Florida stories, and plime.com has threatened to do the same.

      Maybe Darrell needs a NC tag? πŸ˜‰

      /Floridian
      //it may be weird, but I miss it
      ///why yes, I’ve been on fark.com. Is it that obvious?
      ////slashies rock

  35. If God has separated the Races and established their bounds of habitation…why are there now descendants of Europeans living in the Americas? By his logic they never should have come here…

    1. Now now, don’t go interjecting those pesky things called facts and logic into an IFB believe system. A universe-ending paradox might occur…

  36. Also, what whacko reasons for not getting a tattoo! Why is my tattoo an appearance of evil? I got love on my wrist for TWLOHA and I’m planning a puzzle piece on my foot because my kid is autistic. What about either of those things is an appearance of evil or my not walking circumspectly? Too bad there was nothing on body piercing. I would’ve loved to hear his thoughts on my nose stud.

    1. I know. I got an irish harp on my shoulder to honor both my faith and my celtic heritage. Ink is just that, ink; good or bad depends on what’s tattooed on and why. “To the pure all things are pure”.

  37. I wonder if someone at the staff of Ò€œThe OnionÒ€ created this site. ItÒ€ℒs almost as twisted as Landover Baptist.
    But at least heÒ€ℒs in Dallas NC. If he was in Dallas TX, he would probably have a mega-church and his own program on TBN.

    1. AWww man don’t bring my Dallas tx into this lol We’re not that into the crazies… They are into crazies in Arlington though… Trinity baptist is wacky. Haha πŸ™‚

      1. I have been to Texas. I like Austin and the Hill Country. My friend lives in San Antonio, near the mega-churches of John Hagee and Max Lucado. But I decided to worship at Rudy’s Worst BBQ instead.

  38. I want badly to think that this is another parody site, but a parody probably would be better-written and would have a more competently-designed web site.

    … Would someone please at least tell this guy that the Civil War and the Confederacy both ended in 1865? Sheeesh!

    1. Well, my friend, this will take us a while, as many, many Fundy churches in the South have not heard these news.

      2. This has a special resonance for me. I live near the battlefield of the last battle of the Civil War, fought on the Rio Grande May 12-13, 1865. History buffs will note that this was over a month after Lee’s surrender, and therefore completely pointless, but the news had not yet reached this remote part of the world. Apparently, it still hasn’t reached Dallas, North Carolina.

  39. @Pastors Wife – I think you are too nice to be on this site. I’m sure some of the haters on here will ask who am I to tell you what to do, well I’m not telling you what to do, I am suggesting that there are alot better places that your sensible, loving,biblically based reasoning would be much more appreciated, seem as though you are “throwing your pearls before the swine” on this site. There are an awful lot of nasty, ugly talking, bitter folks over here, its funny I find many here to be as nasty as any fundamentalists that I have come across. I was hurt in the IFB and can relate to alot of the aggravation displayed here, but as christians, hurt or not, we should at least attempt to live as examples of Christ and demonstrate that love wherever we are, you are in the minority in doing that on this site.

    So what am I doing here? At first I thought it was fun, a guilty pleasure, now its more like a rubber-necker at the scene of an accident.

    1. We need her. Her compassion and understanding is what many of the frustrated and disillusioned ex-Fundies that post here are yearning for.

      1. PW, don’t go!! You are the articulate voice of sanity and reason who can express clearly what most of us are thinking and feeling. You are “the voice of the masses” and we need you!!

    2. I agree with Tony Mel.
      Sometimes I get tired of the trolling and feeding of the troll (even though it seems the troll gets kicked in the face a lot πŸ˜• ), but I find pw to be refreshingly neutral and kind.

      1. Also with Tony Mel. PW and grace2live are the true “moderates”, if one could call them that, on here. I’ve talked to both, and I know g2l in person. These two are in unusual circumstances which have given them the ability to bridge the Fundamental vs. non-fundamental gap. We need them desperately, and we’re glad they’re here.

        I’ll admit, many of us (including me) are merciless on those who deliberately choose to troll. Hey, these characters are like the people who made our lives miserable (or maybe even the very people who crossed our paths), so it’s easy to give back to them what was given to us. Not saying it’s right, but it is what it is. OTOH, we’re totally OK with someone who is truly searching, or someone who is honest about dialogue. (I can think of a guy from Delphi who deliberately stays IFB and tries to reform it from the inside. I wish he’d show up.)

        1. Thanks, LMcC. I haven’t been hurt by IFB’s in the same way that many others here have, so it’s easy for me to just ignore trolls that I hope are never able to procreate. That being said, the one time that I WAS really hurt, it took me years to get over my rage at the betrayal and sheer hypocrisy. I totally understand why it can be hard to move on past that point, and really only the Lord makes it possible to forgive something really egregious.

      2. Thank you all for your encouraging words.

        Our life has turned upside down in the last year as we’ve sought to follow Scripture first and have put aside some of the traditions of men. Since then, we’ve been rejected, shunned, unfriended, and lied about (i.e., “Her husband no longer preaches from the Bible.”) It’s been REALLY hard – personally, socially, emotionally, financially – and reading SFL has been therapeutic. Knowing that my comments are appreciated feels like a little hug from God saying that He hasn’t forgotten me and still has a future and a hope for me.

    3. This site has not been fun lately. Never fun to watch a gang beat up on one guy. I wish it would stop.

      1. It reminds me of how [group A] kids throw stones at [group B] soldiers, and then get mad when [group B] soldiers respond. Similarly, it’s not surprising that when someone constantly spews forth the “gospel” of works and traditions of man, that ex-fundies respond as they have been…

      2. @escapee: well, that one guy has personally commented on nearly all of those people’s posts, usually twisting their intent and questioning their motives. Also that one guy stated broad-brushed assumptions about this entire group. What you see as people ganging up on someone is simply people responding to being attacked.

        I don’t think it’s fun either, and I wish it would stop, but for completely different reasons than you.

        @josh, apt analogy!!!!

    4. @greg, thank you for your kind words about me. I don’t usually read or post in chat rooms or discussion groups on the internet so this is new for me. I’ve not been abused in the IFB the way some people have, so I don’t have the same personal pain that some feel, but I think it’s important for people to have a place where they can express what for YEARS they were told to be quiet about, to overlook, to endure.

      Were you here when Darrel did the poll asking readers if they were saved? 20% said no, and another 20% don’t use that terminology. The 60% who say they are saved do represent people across a broad range of Christiandom, which is new for me because I really didn’t know too many people out of the GARBC and BJU IFB “bubble.” Anyway, I’m sure lots of readers would disagree with me in many ways – I’m very conservative “relgiously” and politically – but I try to keep the focus on the wrong teachings we were given in the IFB and the right answers that are in the Bible! For too long I hid out in the “Christian bunker” not really interacting with people who didn’t agree with me, but I really want to be “on mission” for Christ!

      God bless always, Greg!

      2. @PW, Well it looks like I got out-voted. Good to see so many agreeing with me about your *value* here. Please just remember from our fundy days that ol sermon about “a little leaven”

        Those several comments that followed mine were some of the most gracious, kind and honest that I’ve seen, so that’s a good thing, right?

        @Polished Shaft, (some name) appreciate the “fessin up” guess I could say I’ve been somewhat guilty of the same, but it does feel good to come clean.

        2. General Association of Regular Baptists. I learned abll about how they were not fundamental enough in my Contemmporary Theology class at Fundy U.

        3. Polished Shaft is an obscure OT reference that Jack Schaap used as a title for a ‘popular’ sermon of his back in the day.

      3. A fellow General Baptist survivor, cool. If you don’t mind my asking what church did you grow up in? I’m from the central WI area myself.

        1. Grew up on the East Coast. Our church was SOOOOOO small that no one ever heard of us!

    5. I will be the first to admit that occasionally I tend to act just like fundies. I become that which I dislike so much.

      I have disdain for the fundamentalists for their lack of love and empathy…yet I act the same way at times. In my hurry to call them out for being so judgmental, I become judgmental towards them.

      Actions like these bring shame to the name of Christ and often brings conviction to me.

      May God grant us all the grace to love our enemies and to pray for those who have abused / used/ and manipulated us in the past.

      1. It’s tricky trying to balance being compassionate toward the blind victims of fundamentalism and also call out the apostasy and abuse of those who perpetuate it.
        On a different note (not to you specifically PS), can we avoid labeling each other here as “a nice one” or “a bitter guy” and just get back to having some snarky fun at SFL ❓ Too much focus lately on the assumed character of the other readers.

  40. Oh nice! Grammar fail!

    I assumed the link to “My Friend’s Webpage links” was just a link to one of his friends sites. Turns out it’s PLURAL friends, and a links page to all the standard fundy links.

    1. It’s that pesky apostrophe again… 😈

      (Can’t find the post on that, but there is one here somewhere.)

  41. My car broke down while passing through Dallas, NC last fall. Glad I didn’t run into that crowd. What a joke.

  42. My two cents on this website……

    Even with all of the nonsense, much of it pointed out above already, on that site (and there is a lot) check out his tithing link. Sounds like he is actually against OT mandated tithing and faith promise giving.

  43. I stumbled onto the section condemning tattoos. My favorite line:
    Then, as now, tattooing was associated with idolatry and paganism.

  44. Could you have a pick on John week? Put on videos and parodies of him. Just make fun of him for the jerk he is.

    1. Pretty classless, though. As long as this group is around, there will be fundies who don’t understand its purpose and attempt to inject “truth.” Better to learn how to deal with it appropriately, and keep the sense of community we have.

      I’m pretty done reading people making fun of him. Don’t you think they’d be happier on the outside, anyway, where they’d get all the jokes and understand what we’re talking about? As lots of us know, it sucks to be the kid on the outside looking in.

      1. Yeah, I’m really sick of the “picking on” from both sides. He apologized a while back and was really very good for several days, but then people kept making fun of him and it all devolved again. I wish it would stop!

      2. What annoys me is the little side comments (on both sides, I might add). If the guy asks a legitimate, normal question, just answer! Just because the name happens to be John doesn’t mean he needs to get tarred and feathered every time he pops his head up πŸ˜›

        Though I must say, the wording about Chick tracks is so very works-based. Tracts never save anyone: they might bring conviction, but it’s God that saves. Reminds me of last night in church: my (fundy) preacher was talking about the SotL editor coming to preach, and said “If you can get an unsaved friend/visitor in, he [the editor] can get them saved.” So, so wrong.

  45. Bless his heart, this explains things…

    “Because I wasn’t exhorted to read and study the bible, before long as a teenager I quit going to church and was backslid until I was about 30 years old. During that time, the Lord whipped me through motorcycle falls 5 times and other things that happened to me and my family, Hebrews 12:6,7. For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? I saw that I had to get back in church or the Lord was going to kill me, so I made myself go to church for three weeks straight”

    1. Apparently the Lord was more concerned with where he was on Sunday AM and his motorcycling than He is with the rampant racism. What a surrendered sweetheart.

        1. Yeah, that had a lot more to do with his theology than any other factor he tries to claim! It’s a shame you can’t have these fruits arrested for fraud, but we don’t wanna start down that road.

  46. Anyone else notice that there’s no physical address for this “church”? I wanted to look it up on google. I thought it would be funny if it was a double-wide.

    No address = no building. I find it comforting to know that he can’t attract enough followers to afford a building.

    2. More evidence for my hypothesis that this “church” is one person.

      … But don’t judge a church by the size or opulence of its building. God does not call the Church to be successful by the standards of this world.

    3. If I read his history correctly, he successfully “killed” two or three churches. It looks like every time he gets a church it folds. So, there probably isn’t a real physical address.

  47. Oh dear God. This site is awful!

    I bet he’d have a coronary if he visited the house that a few of us are splitting the rent for. There are more races represented than people!

    Racism in any of its cleverly disguised forms makes me sick. It’s disgusting.

    3. There’s no way that this wacko is a graduate from BJU. This sounds like Pensacola Bible Institute or Patriot Bible College material. I feel sorry for this guy who has filled his mind with so much junk and now interprets life in that light, or the lack thereof.

    2. He’s probably very, very available to come and speak, as in, his calendar is completely clear, if you know what I mean.

    3. Maybe if we can’t go to his church, we have him come “candidate” for a faux congregation of sfl readers! πŸ˜‰

      1. Maybe get a vacant storefront building and some folding chairs.
        we can call ourselves the 1611av Antebellum Baptist Church.

        2. Is it proof of my wickedness if the first thing I thought of was a country singer, not the actual definition of the word?

        3. Cousin MarryinÒ€ℒ

          Lawww, you done went to meddlin’, didn’t you hear the banjer moosik in thah background?

        5. Whoever we get to pastor we’ll have an electronic Ordination service, where we will all reply to one of their posts using ALLCAPS while touching their avitar on our screens. (They will have to pour their own oil over themselves, like any good fundy pastor would.) 😎

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