Doctrine, Standards

Cognitive Dissonance

384 Comments

To be a fundamentalist one must master the art of ignoring the illogical and absurd. Consider these bits of doublethink…

We believe that Calvinism is a hindrance to evangelism…we also believe the Spurgeon and Edwards were the instruments great revivals.

We believe that praying written prayers is vain repetition…we also believe that praying the exact same words over breakfast every morning is a necessary and meaningful experience.

We believe that since canon of Scripture is closed, the Holy Spirit no longer gives direct revelation to people…we also believe that the Holy Spirit gives traffic directions and investment advice.

We believe that the Scriptures are the sole authority for our faith and practice…we also believe that Christian standards of dress and music somehow were all discovered centuries after the Scriptures were finished and include things not addressed therein.

We believe that every man has soul liberty and that every believer is a priest…we also believe that the pastor has complete authority to override that liberty any time he sees fit.

We believe that liberals have purposely corrupted our public school systems and lowered our education standards for their own political ends….we also believe that these semi-illiterate students are perfectly capable of understanding a four-hundred year old translation of the Scriptures.

We believe that the reason our church isn’t growing quickly is that the world is getting worse and worse as the end times approach and men’s hearts wax cold…we also believe that our soul winning program has broken records every year for the last 20 years.

We believe that good will always overcome evil…we believe that evil will always overcome good.

Feel free to add your own examples below…

384 thoughts on “Cognitive Dissonance”

  1. Female students at a Fundamental Bible College must put in a written request to go to Walmart to buy pantyhose, they must have an approved girl with them and not be in a smaller group then 3 when taking this trip even if you are 22 years old and have already graduated from a State University
    BUT
    on Saturday bus calling day we will drop you off in the middle of the worst gang infested area in Gary, Indiana and pick you up 8 hours later. Have fun and be sure you wear your bullet proof vest. ( I promise you I had a friend who on her bus route got shot at.) 😕

    2. I got left there once. We had a driver who was new and went to the wrong corner to get us and when we weren’t there went back to the college without us. We stood there in the middle of a blizzard waiting for my (not yet married to) husband to drive out and pick us up, and THEN got in trouble for riding back in a car with a member of the opposite sex. (I guess they would have preferred we froze to death.)

  2. We believe that “Halloween is a demonic holiday wherein people dress up in costumes and beg for candy on the 31st of October. Harvest Festival is a God-honoring event wherein people dress up in costumes and beg for candy (by complete coincidence) also on the 31st of October.” (Rule #58)

    We believe that wine always meant grape juice, except when it caused drunkenness, in which case it meant wine.

    1. Yes, I’ve heard this interpretation before. A preacher I know called them “good wine” and “bad wine,” even thought the Hebrew/Greek uses 1 word for them… Good luck with the Welch’s Oinos. 😛

      1. I haven’t brought this one out yet o my fundy family, but vinegar is basically soured wine that has a painkilling effect.

        When Jesus was offered a sponge filled with vinegar on the cross, it it theologically important to note that by refusing the sour wine, he was enduring more pain for us.

        Of course, I’m just a gospel hindering Calvinist to my family.

  3. I just got a fundamentalist pastor refer to me as a “man crept unaware…turning the grace of God into lasciviousness” because of my position against rule-based sanctification… and yet, he is sympathetic to some of my statuses, even “liking” some of them. Ambivalence!

  4. We believe the tenets of the Nicene Creed are the foundations of orthodox Christian belief…we also believe that the Church God guided to put together that Creed is apostate.

    1. (Sorry for an addenda but it just came to me)

      We believe the Jesus’ words can never fail and that He said He would build a Church against which the gates of Hell could not prevail…We also believe that the Church He built failed within 100 years (300 at the most) and remained that way until the 1500’s.

      2. No, the Catholics believe that; or they believe that’s what Protestants believe. We know full well that the Catholic Church was a lot more porous and flexible than modern Catholic historians now say. And we believe that within a few generations, say the 1300’s through the 1500’s, when the power structure in the papacy tried to enforce stricter compliance across the board, that there was a major split (again, a series of splits, tro be mroe accurate). But Jon Colet, a Roman Catholic divine in England, preached the first “Protestant” sermon series on the book of Romans, and yet he never left the Catholic Church and even ably (and successfully) defended himself against charges of heresy. He was symptomatic of his time: an educated man who viewed himself as part of the papacy, even though he dissented from certain practices and beliefs within it.

        1. As usual, I have no idea what you are getting at. Are you agreeing or disagreeing with what I said? Please clarify.

  5. We believe that family are the most important relationships that you have…..We believe also believe that it is good for a man to sacrifice his family so he can work in ministry.

    We believe that bible study classes should be separated by gender and age….but we believe that churches where men and women sit on opposite sides of the room are evil.

    We believe that Satan is active in this world and making it worse….but we also believe that anyone that experiences this directly is a Satanist crackpot.

    We believe that men and women are both equally accountable to god…We also believe that women will have more guilt than a man for the same sexual sin.

    We believe in giving our young children the entire Bible….we also believe they are too young to read/watch things that have sex, incest, murder, and adultery (lest they be tainted).

    We believe in being an independent-denomination-free church….we also believe in associating ourselves with a specific fundamentalist college.

    We believe that a man is to rule his own house….we also believe that his family rules are subject to church rules and ministry “standards”.

    1. Wow! Spot on! Darrell’s post was so true, and you’ve captured the ambivalences clearly as well!

  6. We believe that the Bible is the sole rule for faith and practice… we believe you should listen to the preacher because he’s your preacher.

  7. We believe that salvation is entirely of grace through faith, and does not rest on human merit…we believe if you got baptized the “wrong” way, you’re less right with God than somebody who got baptized the “right” way.

    1. What governments should do and what private individuals should do are sometimes very different things.

      1. Right. It is OK for our government to invade a sovereign country for no reason and kill around 120,000 innocent civilians in the process.
        Whew. Glad that is off my conscience.

        1. Hm, I should’ve specified. I was thinking of Muslim extremists specifically. I’ve never heard a fundie advocate killing Muslims for no reason other than the fact that they’re Muslim. And wow, who said anything about Iraq?

        2. “who said anything about Iraq?”

          I guess I did. Sorry for the somewhat off-topic rant 😳

        4. Actually, it’s NOT right to go kill Muslim extremists “before they kill you.” Proactively killing people en masse because you think they are dangerous is still murder. Killing in self defense means reacting to a real attack, not an imagined one.

          Christians are to seek peace, and that means doing our best to avoid killing, even if that means erecting barricades and blockades rather than going out and hunting down people we think will kill us in the future.

  9. We believe that the Kingdom of God is not of this world and that the love of money is the root of all evil…we believe in Capitalism because it lets you accrue more money, and no, you should not have to pay taxes to support the poor.

    2. Oh yikes! BASSENCO just encapsulated what I’ve been trying to pound into my Christian/Capitalists opponents…

      Or, try this on…

      We believe that one can only properly understand salvation and true doctrine through a KING JAMES BIBLE…We also believe the Holy Spirit will lead you in all truth.

    3. Capitalism definitely has it’s flaws but I have yet to see a good socialist government. And for the record I think socialism is the perfect form of government. It just requires perfect leaders and citizens. 😉

      1. “And in the midst of the worst global downturn since the Depression, Norway’s economy grew last year [2008] by just under 3 percent. The government enjoys a budget surplus of 11 percent [2009].” http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/14/business/global/14frugal.html?_r=1&em

        Norway has cradle to grave welfare protection, but it uses its national earnings to invest rather than to spend. Overall, the country is frugal in spending. It does not expand its existing infrastructure much, certainly not with high priced projects like the US and UK have done. Credit is more restricted there (ie, responsible lending), and more people pay cash for even big ticket items.

        1. Singapore rewards free enterprise and yet is also socialistic. (In fact, so do Denmark and the Netherlands.)

          What freedoms do you have that Denmark doesn’t have? The freedom to do without medical care if you’re over 60, unemployed for longer than 18 months, and in debt from medical costs?

        3. By the way, the irony of this discussion given my choice of graphic for this post is not lost on me. 😛

        4. Socialism doesn’t exclude the Bill of Rights. In Switzerland, every adult male keeps an automatic rifle (at least one) in his home. England is socialistic, and in spite of differences in how the law is interpreted, England is actually the birthplace of the right of dissent and free speech.

        5. Your question wasn’t about Switzerland or England it was about freedom in Denmark and therefore I answered the question with facts about lack of freedom in Denmark.

          But honestly, I’ve really no interest in getting any further off topic than we already are so I’ll just bow out here.

        6. If I may be allowed to quote from the official citizenship website:
          http://www.nyidanmark.dk/en-us/citizenship/citizen_in_denmark/welcome+as+a+new+citizen+in+denmark.htm
          “Denmark is a democratic society that offers freedom, responsibility and equal opportunity for all regardless of gender, race, cultural background and way of life. Everyone is free to think, speak and write what they feel, form associations, practise their religion or follow an alternative way of life. Personal freedom and equality are fundamental values in Danish society – limited only by the need to respect the personal freedom and equality of others.”
          Does that answer your question?

        7. Darrell, I was talking about socialism, and your reply seemed to imply that all socialist countries deny personal freedoms. They don’t. I wasn’t saying we should be Denmark. I was saying the socialism in Denmark is an economic strategy that works.

          It’s not an either-or, in which capitalists get the Bill of Rights and socialists don’t. And that either-or is what I am reading in your first reply to me. We can have freedom of speech and the right to keep and bear arms and still have socialist economic policies. They don’t exclude each other. Socialist Switzerland has guns galore, and the UK is the very foundation of the concept of free speech.

      1. Ok, I liked the initial pointing out of the Christian sanctifying of capitalism. The more you say about other governments the less I agree. 🙁

        But the initial comment was cool.

        1. Yeah. I understand you are free to believe whatever you chose to about the government but at the same time, there is a line between stating your opinion and almost trying to win a fight to prove your opinion. I admire a lot of what you say, Bassenco (and I know Tony off-site) but please remember that part of not being a fundy is allowing others to believe differently from you. I will rememer that you did not purposefully insult anyone directly in your comments but they do come across almost forceful. The last thing I am trying to do with this comment is start a fight (or “discussion” as many people I know, like to put it) but please remember to not become the mirror of what you hate.

          That’s all I got to say.

        2. Oooh

          “the mirror of what you hate.”

          ….this could be the tag line for many a comment here sadly.

          Darren always keeps his tongue firmly planted in cheek, but many here use this as aplace to rant against not just fundamentalism good and bad, but Christianity itself.

          🙁

        4. I have not seen many here rail against True Christianity, but I’ll lead the charge against the Americanized (Per)version.

        5. “but please remember that part of not being a fundy is allowing others to believe differently from you. ”

          I do agree that others have a right to disagree. I strongly favor dissent. Then again, if you say, “Let’s tear down the illusions!” and then balk at some of the illusions because those particular illusions are favorites of yours, you are also becoming the “the mirror of what you hate.” It’s a big mirror.

      2. I personally don’t think Bassenco was trying to promote conflict, but she was merely answering Darrell’s claim that socialism restricts liberty. We are all entitled to our beliefs, but I stick with “社会主义好” (Socialism is good!). 😛

        1. I may have worded my comment poorly but I mean she was forceful in a sense that I felt like she was being rude (sometimes I can interpret rhetorical questions as rude) of course I doubt she was being malicious or intending to cut someone down.

    5. We claim the parts of the Bible we like…we ignore all the ones that teach capitalism and free will.

      Because those two go together.

      Very revealing isn’t it??????
      😉

      1. The only verses I’ve heard being used for capitalism are: “You will always have the poor with you,” and “He who does not have a sword, sell your garments and buy one.” 😐

        2. @Clint: Methinks he hath sallied forth and shook the dust of this site off his shiny-leather-shod feet.

        4. Wonder if he’ll toss back a few glasses of ‘sparkling’ grape juice this evening. 😉 It *is* New Year’s, after all! Gotta get revved up for the WatchNight service and get his amen on.

  10. We believe that all people are welcome in our church….we believe in Church Dress codes and will think you a reprobate until you change your standards to ours.

  11. We believe movie theaters are dens of iniquity and the movies shown therein are tools of Satan to destroy our minds….until they come out on DVD.

  12. We believe that salvation is by grace through faith alone…we believe that sanctification is by works, rules, striving harder, Bible reading, prayer, witnessing, church-attending, abstaining from CCM, self-assassination (…) …

  13. We believe that every person should have self-control and a conscience…we also believe that people should be so controlled by rules they don’t develop a conscience.

  14. We believe that watching horror movies is worldly and sadistic….we also believe that it is good to scare people with illustrations about the unsaved person who died a horrible death within minutes/hours of rejecting your salvation message.

  15. We believe in protecting our children from strange worldly people…we also believe that we can offer salvation messages to children without their parents’ permission.

  16. We believe that God will destroy this country because of open homosexuality and gay bars…we beleive that when a preacher has sex with a child, the preacher made a mistake, needs counseling, and can stay in the pulpit or at worst quickly return to it.

    1. To go with this…

      We believe that we should confess our sins and share our burdens with one another….we also believe that anyone outside our ministry/church is an gossiping apostate if they point out these same sins.

  17. We believe the Bible is without error. We also believe in telling our students in Sunday School to add a semicolon to parts of verses here and there.

    We believe the KJV was written exactly how God wnated it. We also believe in changing the word “charity” to “love” in I Cor 13 when we preach.

    We believe in naming names of Baptist churches that have “gone off the path” of soul winning and seperation. We also believe that Baptist preachers who are involved in horrid sexual sin is a local church matter and should be ignored because they did so much for the cause of Christ

    1. I’ve never seen any of this done in any Fundamentalist church, Jason. You must have gone to a uniquely wacko Fundy church. 😛

      Actually, every IFB church I’ve been in has taught that it’s very important to use the word “charity” in 1 Cor. 13, because it’s more specific than the word “love.” I think the word “charity” does make the passage more beautiful, and more convicting.

      3. You’re right Kat. It does. I’m glad you went to a good fundy church. And there are a lot out there.

      4. Kat

        I get that impression too. Seems alot…the majority of those who post here in fact, have eithe rhad experience with a particulaly wayyyy way out there super wack-o Church or just operate on a charicature that all are.

        And same here for the “Charity” and “love” issue. And that’s all I ahve ever seen , and I ahve been to quite afew fundy weddings in quite a few different states.

        1. Well.

          I grew up in a waaaaaaay out wacko church. Independent from Independents type church. I can’t even begin to tell of its wackiness.

          We left and went to another fundy church. It is a FBCH wanna-be, the staff try to be mini-Hyles. It’s a lot better than most I see described here and yet it is still way out as far as churches are concerned. So very very narrow-minded, with an emphasis on works, etc.

          Most here are extremely disillusioned with fundy churches. It’s hard believing something for years and years and then BAM it comes back to bite you. It’s rather painful waking up.

  19. We reject anything Charles Darwin said becasue he was a pawn of satan, put on this earth to propogate lies or our origins…..we believe Charles Darwin had a genuine death-bed conversion to Christianity proving to us the power of our gid.

    2. I don’t think many fundies believe this anymore. I’ve heard it doing the rounds amongst younger kids who are “fighting for the faith”, but rarely amongst older fundies. But I suppose their are exceptions. I’m pretty sure Kent Hovind cleared all this up in one of his DVDs, so fundies know about it now.

  20. We believe that man is justified by faith alone and that not of works lest we should boast…but we also believe that sanctification is by works alone and that without said works we can rightly judge your salvation, without works faith is dead.

    We believe that Christ’s death on the cross cleanseth us from all sin…but at the judgement seat we’ll have to give an account of all our sin.

    1. Hit the nail on the head with both of those (but it’s not just fundies that do this now… that selfspirit of works sanctification is doing the rounds in nearly every denomination).

  21. We believe the Canon is closed. We believe the non-IFB churches/mainline churches have had it wrong since Constantine.

    (Official closure of the Canon happened in 1546 at Trent for the Catholics, 1563 for the Church of England, 1647 for English Calvinism with the Westminster confession, and 1672 for the Greek Orthodox. Officially, for instance, us Lutherans do not have a closed canon. Nevermind that the 27 books we now have as the New Testament Canon were approved at the councils of Carthage, in 387 and 419, after Constantine, and under leadership of St Augustine.)

    1. Go figure……

      We believe the Catholic church is evil and will eventually either give birth to the AntiChrist or at the verly least, be the AC’s “enforcer”….yet, the entire cannon of Scripture they wail and bemoan to be the VERY words of God were approved by…the RCC. 😆

      1. That’s not entirely true. The early Roman Church was much different to the Roman Church today. Also, there are additional books in the RCC canon than protestants accept.

        Also, this is about fundies, not protestants in general. Don’t you know fundie baptists aren’t protestants….

    2. Hmm, I’m an “us Lutheran” and I was taught in catechism that the cannon was closed. Of course, if your Confessional, the “other” books are pretty entertaining!

      1. Michael – that is why Luther had doubts about Revelation, James and I can’t remember the other one – it was not an unknown topic of discussion, till Rome abruptly “closed the book” at Trent. Luther didn’t remove those books though, but he did have reservations.

        1. I think the other book was Esther, as it doesn’t mention God, only implies His working.

  23. We believe it’s perfectly rational to proclaim “lifting up Jesus” from the pulpit and then have the pastor put a 5x bigger than life head shot of himself over the sanctuary door.

    We believe it’s ok for the pastor to spend $10,000.00 to bring in a special singing group to celebrate the his anniversary of coming to the church, but then make the youth pastor have bake sales to raise $900.00 to take students to a “dare to share” event.

    Boy could I go on forever.
    Father, thank you for your grace. Amen.

    1. I think you should do “slave” day and sell the kids to strangers for a day! That would make a great fundraiser!!

      1. Ugh!!! I remember those “slave days”!!! I never participated, because the idea of some 40-yr-old guy having the chance to hire me to do work, sounded just creepy.

        1. Please tell me you are joking. I have never heard of “slave days”. It sounds so wrong on so many levels. 😯

        2. Our public school always did it as a fundraiser for the senior class. They stopped it in the mid-1980s when one of the few African-American students in our school became a senior, and someone realized how bad that would look.

        4. It’s no joke. It really happened at my old church whenever the youth group was trying to go to camp or whatever. Some of the poorer kids who couldn’t afford to go would volunteer to be a “slave” to whoever was going to help them pay for camp.

        5. @Kat, ooo, ick. You mean it wasn’t just a way to raise money ahead of time (you know, offer to rake leaves for a day or wash dishes, etc.), but instead the kid would get to go to camp with everyone else but on a second-class citizen basis, having to do everything another kid said? Hmmmm, doesn’t seem quite what James had in mind when he talked about not treating people with partiality or where the Bible exhorts us to share what we have with others.

        6. Our youth group didn’t call it that. I think it was “Hire a teen day”. And Pastor’s Wife, no the person who’s raising money doesn’t work for another kid – he gets hired by someone in the church at some point in advance of camp/missions trip/senior trip to do odd jobs like mowing or painting.

        7. @Elizabeth, thanks for clearing that up! I guess I’m not thinking clearly today! I misread the sentence as “Some of the poorer kids who couldn’t afford to go would volunteer to be a “slave” to whoever was going [as in being a slave to a kid going in order] to help them pay for camp” instead of “to WHOEVER was paying their way”. It was that word “going” that threw me off! 😳

  24. Government Health Care Plans – Evil!

    “Medical Sharing Plans”* inspired by early church collectivism, as found in the Book of Acts – double plus good

    * not available in Montana

    1. Early church collectivism never tried to function as a government. Just sayin’. Socialism’s a great thing, just not when it’s practiced by governments.

  25. “We believe that liberals have purposely corrupted our public school systems and lowered our education standards for their own political ends….” To combat this we have started many Christian schools and colleges that are educationally subpar. This helps us further our political ends.

  26. We believe that Jesus wants our light to shine in this world as a testimony of His saving grace, but we believe that we are “in this world but not of this world” so we stay in our little Fundy bubbles less we become corrupted.

    1. We believe that we are to fulfill the Great Commission and take the Gospel to every creature. We believe that allowing gays, drinkers, smokers, immodestly dressed women, or liberals (the list isn’t exhaustive) anywhere near us will compromise, contaminate, and lead us into too much temptation.

  27. We believe that everyone should give cheerfully and willingly to the church, but we believe that if you are a member or -gasp- church staff, we should check your giving and your paycheck to make sure you are tithing.

  28. The government is ordained to punish evildoers, except for law violating churches and speeding pastors, and abusive parents.

  29. Jesus’ life is the ultimate guide to living and should be emulated…..You will be called into the pastor’s office and may face church discipline if you are a friend of sinners and outcasts.

  30. We believe that God is sovereign, but we believe that when bad things happen, God was not in control (one of my friends heard a preacher make this very point a couple of weeks ago).

  31. We believe that Jesus loves everyone, even “tax collectors and sinners,” but we believe that protesting at the funeral of a homosexual is the best way to show that family Jesus’ love.

  32. We believe in the priesthood of the believer. We believe that the pastor should have “veto power” in your life.

    The three IFB principals of godly authority are:
    1. Godly authority must never be questioned
    2. God gives godly authority special insight regading your personal life
    3. Even if godly authority is wrong God will still bless you if you obey

    In other words, godly authority never has to admit they are wrong or say they are sorry

    1. Oh I see you know my father-in-law lol. This is why he’s now alone and his ex-wife and 3 kids will have nothing to do with him.

    1. “If you disagree with me you are an idiot.”

      FTW!
      Actually, this can be added to the end of any fundy statement.

    1. Actually did a real-life lol at this one. It’s refreshing to know that I’m not alone..

  37. We believe that God is omnipotent and can do anything EXCEPT save sinners without them exercising their free will, keep Obama from being elected president, and prevent the plots of tri-lateralists, Rothchilds, Jesuits, and the CFR.

  38. We believe that we were sent into the world to change it… and the perfect place to start is in a safe and secure Christian College “ghetto”

  39. Adding to the Bible is a sin, but you’d better write an explanation next to that verse if your preacher tells you to! (I’ve scribbled some of these notes out, when I realized I was being taught wrong)

  40. We believe that preaching from modern translations is apostasy…we also believe that it is perfectly acceptable to paraphrase the KJV into Modern English from the pulpit.

  41. We believe that it is sinful for women to wear pants, but it is perfectly acceptable to shorten those pants to just below the knee, widen the legs a bit, and call them culottes.

    1. The reason they enjoy coulottes so much is because they make women look odd and unappealing. So odd, in fact, that those outside fundy circles stare. Doesn’t that defeat the idea of “modesty”?

      1. Here is one that will blow your mind. At the fundy college I went to the dean in chapel went off on girls who were seen in bare feet.

        1. Jason, he probably just had a hard time controlling his own lust…Weaker brother and all that.

      2. Actually, culottes and other unattractive clothing items do defeat the purpose of modesty. Once the modesty requirement is met, Jews believe it is a mitzvah to dress attractively. Deliberately making oneself ugly through things like culottes and choosing to wear unflattering colors* draws negative attention to the wearer.

        * Yes, there is someone who teaches that women should wear colors that don’t work on them.

  42. We believe that you should seek counseling if you are experiencing difficulty spiritually. We also believe that you are glorifying your sins if you ever talk about them and merely seeking attention.

    We believe that you should act like an adult so we’re going to treat you like children who cannot know anything or make your own decisions.

    We believe that God calls us to be fruitful and multiply but if you look at that person of the opposite gender for long periods of time I’m going to report you two for “optical intercourse”.

  43. We believe that when hard times come to your life it is God trying to get you back in line. We also believe that when hard times come to our ministry it is Satan attacking this great work.

    We want you to read the Scriptures for yourself and come to your own conclusions. We will belittle you if what you find contradicts our conclusions.

    We believe you should pray and ask for God’s leading to bring you to this school. If you later pray and it’s obvious to you God is leading you away, it’s not God’s leading but your emotions.

    ^ That infuriated me. It was ok to ask for God’s leading in something they wanted me to do. But if it’s something they didn’t want me to do, it was pure flesh, emotions, the whole nine yards.

  44. We believe that God owns the cattle on 1,000 hills. We also believe that “god” wants you to give him extra of your cattle so that we can build the new multi media center that “he” wants us to build.

  45. We believe a tithe is a flat 10% off the top of our income or else we are robbing God, but we then quickly submit these tithes as tax deductions, making our actual amount given much less.

  46. Judge not that ye be not judged…but I automatically know what your problem is just by looking at you and I know exactly how to correct it.

  47. We believe that the KJB is the perfect translation into English, an inspired, perfect translation without error, in English. At the same time, wine still means grape juice (except where it means wine), and “whom he did foreknow he also did predestinate” is actually “those he foreknew who would choose to be saved he also did predestinate, etc.”

  48. We believe that God is love…we believe that if you do not beat your children from the time they are toddlers onward, you are failing to raise them in the faith.

  49. It’s prudent to get medical advise from a man0Gawd, but it is not ok to get spiritual opinions from your doctor.

  50. When the bible states god created the universe in six days, the bible means six literal 24 hour days.
    But when Jesus said he is returning “soon”, “soon” can equal 2,000 years.
    So soon can be a longer time period then a day.

    1. I could totally be wrong but I was under the impression He was coming “quickly” not necessarily “soon”. Though the fundies do say soon.

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