Doctrine, Standards

Cognitive Dissonance

384 Comments

To be a fundamentalist one must master the art of ignoring the illogical and absurd. Consider these bits of doublethink…

We believe that Calvinism is a hindrance to evangelism…we also believe the Spurgeon and Edwards were the instruments great revivals.

We believe that praying written prayers is vain repetition…we also believe that praying the exact same words over breakfast every morning is a necessary and meaningful experience.

We believe that since canon of Scripture is closed, the Holy Spirit no longer gives direct revelation to people…we also believe that the Holy Spirit gives traffic directions and investment advice.

We believe that the Scriptures are the sole authority for our faith and practice…we also believe that Christian standards of dress and music somehow were all discovered centuries after the Scriptures were finished and include things not addressed therein.

We believe that every man has soul liberty and that every believer is a priest…we also believe that the pastor has complete authority to override that liberty any time he sees fit.

We believe that liberals have purposely corrupted our public school systems and lowered our education standards for their own political ends….we also believe that these semi-illiterate students are perfectly capable of understanding a four-hundred year old translation of the Scriptures.

We believe that the reason our church isn’t growing quickly is that the world is getting worse and worse as the end times approach and men’s hearts wax cold…we also believe that our soul winning program has broken records every year for the last 20 years.

We believe that good will always overcome evil…we believe that evil will always overcome good.

Feel free to add your own examples below…

384 thoughts on “Cognitive Dissonance”

  1. “perfect love” drives out fear, yet, we have to scare people with fire and torment to get them to accept “perfect love” and get saved.

  2. We believe we should not take our ideas or tactics from the world. We believe we should clap and cheer in church because if it is good enough for the world to do so at a football game it is good enough for us.

    And yet fundys would call us weird if we clapped and cheered while the doctors were working at a hospital

    1. I HAVE heard that in some IFB churches, but in most I’ve been in, NO clapping at all was ever allowed, especially after special music lest the person be performing for man’s applause. Likewise, no one should ever clap along with a song, despite Psalm 47:1: “O clap your hands, all ye people; shout unto God with the voice of triumph.” (BTW, that sounds like a command to me! How did it become acceptable for our churches to IGNORE Scripture?)

      1. In my fundy church it was expected that we clap for every mannogid that was introduced, but never for the music. When our mannogid stepped on the platform the male kool-aid drinkers would all shout “Hay-men”

        4. I attended the church for a long time…way too long. I started attending back when they were at the old downtown location.

  4. A woman can never teach men, and only apostate churches have female pastors, evangelists, and teachers.

    Gail Riplinger is our guest speaker today…

    1. HAHAHAHA!

      I’m actually all for well-trained and doctrinally sound women in ministry. After all, it’s not like the Word of God turns into a lie or something else suitably nasty if it comes out of the mind and mouth of someone with XX chromosomes. Unfortunately, she doesn’t qualify.

      Darn near fell out of my chair when I found out my former super-fundy church actually has a woman leading music now. I’ll take my progress wherever I can get it.

  5. The use of alcohol is expressly prohibited in Scripture. It is a biblical sin to use it for anything other than limited medicinal use. We will be happy to show you every verse where alcohol is shown in a negative way.

    But don’t expect us to talk about Deu 14:26, cause God would never do anything that was a sin (such as encourage the use of wine and strong drink).

    “And thou shalt bestow that money for whatsoever thy soul lusteth after, for oxen, or for sheep, or for wine, or for strong drink, or for whatsoever thy soul desireth: and thou shalt eat there before the LORD thy God, and thou shalt rejoice, thou, and thine household,”

  6. We believe that we should be willing to give up everything we have for the sake of Christ and following Him.

    1. We also believe that my money is my money and no one can take it from me. (Socialism=stealing)

  7. While other non-fundy Christians are living, we preach against them and separate from them. When they die, we quote them in our sermons and hang their pictures on our walls (Booth, Lewis, Moody, Tozer, Bounds, etc.).

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