45 thoughts on “FWOTW: kjvteens4christ.com”

  1. Strange.. they have a different pose of BIlly Sunday on each pastors page, kind of like a “which Billy Sunday Pose are you” going on…

    Also lollin at “Counsellor Responsibilities”

    #1 – Judging.

    Oh.. it gets worse (sorry, writing this as I browse)

    II. COMPETITIONS CONTINUED…
    B. Young Preacher Category
    1. Preachers will by judged on the following:
    a. Subject c. outline e. Scripture Usage g. delivery
    b. mannerisms d. voice f. eye contact h. appearance

    Scripture usage isn’t even first. Yay for topical preaching.

  2. The page on dress standards. . wow. . He actually uses ACHAN to prove that Christian teens shouldn’t “dress like the world”. . .as quoted from the website: “Achan did not realize that coveting the “dress/clothes” of the world would eventually lead to the destruction of his entire family.” Then again, why should I be shocked that this is completely out of context?!?!

    I love the closing: “Who’s going to set the standard? Who’s going to be an example of purity? Who is going to stand in the gap? Can you see the giant? Is there not a cause? This issue of dress standards is an ongoing battle that God’s people should not retreat from.” Way to throw in “standing in the gap”. . .LOL!

  3. I knew a teen who was so brainwashed, he would say things like “I don’t know how the Jehovah’s Witnesses get it so wrong – they even use the KJV!” Maybe he went to this site…

  4. **SHAKES HEAD**
    modern Pharisees and the Sadducees gagging at gnats and swallowing camels.

    The “Standards” of our organization… if you want to be a part of our club then you will keep our standards. This is what distinguishes our chapter from all others and we know we are superior and more loved by our gid for keeping these rules. 🙄 Get your free secret KJV decoder ring with your paid membership. That’s just 10% of your gross income for the basic membership package. This will also entitle your children to a 5% discount at our Christian School (to which your children will be automatically enrolled and expected to attend until graduation.)
    We want to indoctrinate the whole family here at Independent Fundamental Baptist Church of the King James Bible.     😥

    So sad that this is not just hyperbole

  5. Scrolling marquee, blinking text, animated gifs of flags, awful clip art, bad 3-D art… All this and I need two more plug-ins to view this horrible thing in all it’s glory? 🙄

  7. http://kjvteens4christ.com/Bible101/NKJVCounterfit.aspx

    Nearly the whole page is devoted to examples of the satanic association regarding the trinitarian knot. This is a Christian symbol that has been hijacked. If they were to treat the cross according to the same associations then they would also prove the cross to be a satanic symbol. But it gives them a strawman and a red herring to focus on instead of having to deal with pesky things like truth and facts.

    Why does this tork me so? when my kids atteded the local fundy indoctrination school/mothership church they got their year book at the end of the school year. The publisher used the trinitarian knot on the bottom of every other page next to the page number. The administration freaked out, completely freaked out. They bought thousand of fish symbol stickers and covered every one of the knots by hand.

    1. My Dad had bookshelves of these kinds of conspiracy books and books on what magic sigils were really and truly powerful due to satanic influences. It was fascinating to read his collection. I’m not sure if he still literally believes in magic.

    2. I couldn’t even make it all the way through that page. It’s all a lot of nonsense. So one publisher decided to use that knot. I’ve seen NKJVs in Wal-Mart without it.

      Someone, obviously, has too much time on their hands. If they were soul-winning for Christ maybe they wouldn’t think about things like that. 😉

  9. “The Authorized Version Was Translated Under A God-Ordained English King”

    The fact that King James was gayer than a can of pink paint has nothing to do with it. 😀

    1. “The Authorized Version Was Translated Under A God-Ordained English King.”

      I don’t know why, but that statement is just making my skin crawl. In argumentation, you don’t use every argument you can possibly think of. Instead you focus on your best arguments. This just seems like a really pathetic argument. I don’t know what it’s bothering me so much though, but it is! (And I do find it very funny that people who are SO concerned with any possible “appearance of evil” have no problem putting the name of King James on the Holy Scriptures!)

      1. I had a pastor that referred to is simply as “The King James.” “And I have STOOD on the King James and I will CONTINUE to stand on the King James as the WORD of GOD . . .” Usually while shaking or pounding the crap out of his poor Bible. I kept waiting for the day when that Bible would just fall apart.

        The fact that King James was HUMAN never seems to bother these people.

        1. Another thing I can’t figure is that even if it could be indisputably proven King James was not gay, wasn’t he one who persecuted the Separatists (the eventual Pilgrims that ultimately arrived in America) for not being part of the Church of England?

          Quite odd for a group that so emphasizes separation from the world to make a near-god out of one who persecuted those who were separating from the Church of England due to what they felt were too many Catholic influences still there.

      2. At least two things wrong with it. It begs the question, and a circular answer likely follows: How do we know the king was God-ordained? “Because he produced a divine product?” How is it a divine product? “Because the king was God-ordained.” I’m getting dizzy…

    2. Isn’t it a bit…odd…for a bunch of Americans to think that a ‘God-ordained King’ is a good thing? I’d heard that there’d previously been a bit of bother over that idea. 😀

  11. Ok, so I’m not an ex-fundie, but a life-long mainliner. I usually don’t comment, since I did’t grow up in this tradition, and I don’t really think it’s my right.
    However, I can’t contain myself here. I’m always amazed by the obsession with the KJV. But this just takes the cake. Their view on the Bible, and the KJV in particular, is idolatry, pure and simple. They equate Jesus and the Bible. Both are THE Word of God, in their view. And if Jesus is God, the, according to this theology, the Bible is God.
    It’s scary anytime I see those claiming to be Christians that point worship to anything other than God. And that’s what these folks are doing. It’s engaging in pure Bibliolatry. I’m a UM Minister. I respect the message found in Scripture as the Church’s witness to the person of Jesus Christ. We wouldn’t know who Jesus is without it. But it’s not God. The Bible points to the God revealed in Jesus Christ. It’s not God.

  12. I’m sorry, what were we talking about? I’m still stuck on the youth rally bit and preachers yelling at the kids. It brought back memories of youth rallies I attended in the late 80s. Song time for us teens always involved “fun” songs. Every Youth Rally we had to sing the Song about Mrs O”Leary’s Cow. One of the Pastors really liked that song. He loved making us jump out of our skin by yelling at the end of the song, There’s gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight FIRE FIRE FIRE! That and seeing how many “power”s We could add in “There is Power in the Blood”. Whew that was fun…

    1. I love that your pastor encouraged the singing of a pub song. 😉

      Then again, I can’t talk–when I was a teen in Wisconsin our youth group would take trips to see the Milwaukee Brewers play baseball and we would enthusiastically sing along with the crowd to “Roll Out the Barrel.”

  14. Stupid site instantly opened a video in my movie player to stream it, then asked me to do, if I’m correct, two different updates (as a result from the site!), then crashed my browser. Thank you KJV obsessed teenagers.

    1. That’s what you get for using Sarari on a Mac. 😆 Believe me, it definitely pays to block all that stuff. 😉

  15. Before I got sucked into the IFB I made a mistake of taking my IFB boyfriend to a Methodist church where they used the NIV. Forty-five minutes of him grumbling “That’s not what the Bible says!” every ten seconds. And I’ve heard entire sermons preached on why the KJV is THE ONLY Bible and all others are inspired by the devil. Including the NKJV. And all the ones before the KJV.

    You want to get fundies torqued up? Ask them if they think Jesus actually spoke in Elizabethan English.

    2. Most UM churches these days use the NSRV– the one with the inclusive (gender-neutral) language. He would have REALLY loved that. :mrgreen:

  16. “Because no one has ever proven that the KJV is NOT God’s Word”
    ….and there you have a beautiful example of Fundie logic.

  17. (From the ‘standards’ page)

    “The one, main thing that defines you as a lady is one particular article of clothing . . . A dress. God wants you to be distinct.”

    So I guess if everbody’s naked, nobody can tell who’s who?

    They say God wants us to be distinct, but won’t give Him the credit for already making us so!

  18. “I know the King James Bible is the word of God because it was translated under a king.”

    Classic. So because the RV was translated under a Queen (Victoria), that makes it bad?

  22. Arg. There is a burn victim on their header. For some reason, a bunch of IFB’s I know up North love taking photos of themselves with food in their mouth. It’s disgusting. If you are reading this – stop posting pictures of half eaten food in your mouth on facebook. There is a good chance you are reading this since everyone I know or knew seems to be reading this site.

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