Because no child should be deprived of such an opportunity to bask in the glow of greatness.
70 thoughts on “Pictures With The Pastor”
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Because no child should be deprived of such an opportunity to bask in the glow of greatness.
Comments are closed.
BWAHAHAHAHA! There just seems to be no parody you can invent that they don’t actually do there!
A bit off topic but what on God’s green earth is “re-marital” counseling? Remarriage after a divorce requires special counseling? I’m guessing if the man is being remarried, it’s “congrats”, and if a woman is being remarried she’s committing adultery?
re-marital would probably a second marriage after your spouse died.
Having been remarried after my husband passed away, I can say that the counseling was definitely different the 2nd time around. There are a lot of different issues to work out. /my two cents
“Annointing with oil; picture with baby.” Nothing too odd about those two things, but put them next to each other in an online form for an appointment with a preacher, and you have me ROFL.
Didn’t think of widow, and I’m just naturally HIGHLY suspect of any kind of counseling HAC or other fundy schools offer. Way more suspicion of them than of re-marital counseling of any form.
I do love this form. Several of the options would be serious at other institutions. I have no confidence in Schaap/fundies to offer serious counseling on much of anything.
Just think, you get the chance to get your kid in a picture with one of the few remaining Baptist Ayatollahs. Parents should be lining up around the block… Why do these fundies give us so much material to work with – it’s amazing!
The “anointing with oil” is kind of weird too. I remember when Hyles was still alive, my sister and brother-in-law went to him for EVERYTHING! It was kind of annoying. Any decision they were about to make, they went to him for advice. Of course, the advice they got wasn’t exactly practical, but they followed it like gospel. It really was like he was being worshiped…
On a side-note, I wonder if Schaap makes babies cry?
“On a side-note, I wonder if Schaap makes babies cry?”
Eventually.
“Pastor Schapp’s Office.”
“Yes, Hi. I’m getting married next month and I’d like to have it at First Baptist. It’s gonna be great! My fiance and I are so excited, especially since we just had a baby two months ago! *Chuckle* If fact, I hope Pastor can hold little Jackie during the pictures. It’d be really great if he could bless him or something.”
“Uhhh.”
“Oh, and my Nanna is coming to the wedding, but she just broke a hip and it’s been really tough for her lately. Do you think that someone could anoint her right after we cut the cake? Also, my mom and dad are separating and…”
“Maam, just go online and click all that apply. Someone will get back to you as soon as possible to judge, I mean help you further.”
Click.
I’d make sure that the baby’s diaper is “full of joy” when it was picture time with Ol’ Schaap!
^ Comment win.
@Richard wouldn’t that give a double exposure of Jack? See, Schaap happens….
Re-Marital counseling. Is for those heathens that did not get proper counseling(some other church) before marriage. So Mr and Mrs Smith you would like to join our church. What kind of counseling did you get before your marriage? Who did it? What church is he with? Sorry none of those are on the approved list. Ok turning the sarcasm off before I go off the deep end.
Hm, how are these people doing “relationship counseling?” Don’t you have to be licensed in your state to practice any kind of medicine or therapy?
Not if you’re doing “counseling” in a religious context, no.
See also Nally V. Grace Community Church of the Valley
http://www.nytimes.com/1987/09/20/us/suit-against-clergy-in-a-suicide-case-is-reinstated.html
My understanding is that what the clergy is allowed to do in terms of “counseling” is very narrowly defined and limited to coaching in the Bible or other spiritual matters.
http://www.ministrytodaymag.com/index.php/ministry-leadership/counseling/1596-counseling-boundaries
i would like to schedule an appointment for picture with oil.
…Seek qualified and professional counseling elsewhere.
I think that 1987 counseling thing might be out of date. We have very firm rules on making sure anyone in a dangerous or suicidal admission is gotten into counseling or whatever to make sure they are safe. If they are counseling suicidal people w/o any kind of licensed counselor my understading is they have a HUGE liability. Not that fundies in general are known for keeping up w/ what the laws are or caring, but I sure hope they aren’t that careless w/ at risk people. I probably don’t want to know the answer.
who’s “we”?
My church. We hold an annual meeting w/ all small group leaders, etc. If someone is confiding in you something that is dangerous to them or someone else, you HAVE to let church leadership know, and we have to get an actual counselor, and potentially a doctor for those that have chemical imbalances. It’s insane to treat suicidal people as just having a spiritual problem that needs more Bible counseling.
PS, I LOVE that they put “confidentiality guaranteed” w/ a lock symbol implying it’s a secure form you are submitting. I’m not sure of the legality of soliciting confidential information in an HTTP form (I’m not missing something here, am I — I checked the source of the page, and it doesn’t appear to submit via HTTPS either). I know banks/health care info is not allowed to be transmitted via HTTP. It sure seems like if you are promising confidentiality there should be some HTTPS requirements by law. The explicitly solicit health care information (Describe Symptoms below).
Oh, I see. Good on you for doing the right thing. I’m not sure, however, that getting a judgment against a church for giving bad counsel would get very far. Even now the legal system is reluctant to get involved in what may be seen first amendment freedoms.
I did the same thing. It doesn’t.
You aware of an exception to soliciting PHI and health care info from people via non-secure methods?
I’m sorry, my “first amendment” comment was directed at your “my church” comment. I’ll add some quotes to make it clear.
As for exceptions to PHI, I don’t know of any in this case. I’d have to consult my HIPAA gurus at work (I work in health care so I get how important this is).
Ah gotcha on the “we” thing. Was totally referring to just what we do to remind everyone that serious issues like that need to be addressed by an actual counselor and/or medical doctor. We = ambiguous.
I am sure that I don’t want any kind of counseling from a pastor who calls the Moravians the “Monrovians” (see video answer http://www.jackschaap.com/2010/double-justification/) After all theology should be his specialty and he can’t even get that right. I figured it must be a group that worshiped James Monroe and was obedient to the Monroe Doctrine.
I like the color diffs between the two head shots. Green vs. healthier…
FAR OUT. I thought it was a dodgy photoshop until I clicked the link.
Anointing with oil is more odd… why would new testament independent fundamental soulwinning seperated old timey baptists perform an old testament ritual?
Oh.. tithing.. I forgot.
(Yes, I am a dispy. James 5 doesn’t apply lol).
Didn’t know where else to comment on this – but rule #36 – I spoke up once. Said I didn’t think we should support a missionary who wasn’t on the mission field (she was home on R&R for about a year), and we were still sending her the whopping $50 a month. Considering we only had 20 people in the church, and half of them had no money, I thought that the money might be better spent elsewhere. Overruled. He also turned down another missionary because we already supported his dad (who is totally awesome, and a little bit insane from Malaria – funniest guy I know), even though this guy needed the money more to support his young family. He also told me a whole lot of things about other church members, which makes me wonder what he told them about me….
I also had to vote on a deacon, even though I didn’t care nor think we needed one. He is a nice guy, and I have nothing against him, but the Pastor said “I’ve already decided that xxxxxxx is going to be a deacon, let’s all raise our hands to show our support”. Great…. of course I am going to raise my hand, I like the guy, and he is a good godly man. But we didn’t need a deacon. Also, that deacon never got told off for not going to everything like my wife and I got told off.
Oh I see this is a’la carte, I would like a little marital counseling anointed with oil…
no… wait, can I get the combo? Let’s see I’d like “to get to know the pastor better”, “anointed with oil”, “sexual abuse” with a side of grief (hold the loss) and a nice bottle of alcohol to wash it all down. (agan hold the narcotics)
Yes I believe that will do. I’m sorry that I don’t have time to give the pastor advice but my schedule is already full.
“… yes I am a dispy. James 5 doesn’t apply.”
@exIFB: Huh?
All Hyles pastors should offer this “picture with baby” service. It may be the only family picture some of these kids will get. 😮
It was tongue in cheek. I asked why HAC would annoint with oil when it is an OT practice, but James 5 refers to it (elders annointing the sick with oil).
But me being a dispensationalist leaning towards the mid acts position (an absolute heresy in some circles), I believe James has plenty of spiritual application today but more practical application in a Jewish millennium and tribulation, so I said that James 5 doesn’t apply, tongue in cheek 🙂
There needs to be a tongue-in-cheek emoticon.
@Laura
:O:O:O:O:O
@ex IFB: Oh.There are some other interpretations of that verse. One is that the anointing is medicinal for belivers weakened by persecution. Do you believe Paul is the only apostle to be listened to authoritatively at this point in time.
?
I think they ought to offer a picture of the 2 pastors doing some Greco-Roman wrestling. That would open up a completely different market for them.
while being anointed with oil.
Yes and No. Not really the place to explain. And really, does it matter what I believe mate? I’ve found much freedom from the IFB church through the grace of God, and I don’t call myself a baptist anymore. I also have found freedom from having to conform to a certain theological system, so while I would be classified as a dispy, I tend not to focus too much on dispensational theology. I’ve never found any need to analyse the papers and see prophecy in everything. I spent most of my baptist years trying to convince myself it was the truth and convincing myself to believe what others believed so I would be “right”.
Sorry mate, but after being burnt in the baptist church with subtle questions that probed my beliefs in order for them to “correct” them (you probably know the type. They ask a question pretending to be interested, but instead, are waiting to tell you off), I am hesitant to post an explanation of why I believe it, only to get a rebuke, and launch into an argument between us. I am confident in Christ’s salvation, his provision, his perseverance, his sanctification and his word 🙂
God bless 🙂
@exIFB: o.k. that fine. the question mark was just added because I forgot it in the previous post. I don’t think I would start doing that( questioning you just to blast you. there are so many different people of so many diffierent persuasions its pointless to do it on a humor site. I did not mean to offend you or bring back unpleasant memories.
Wait a sec – there’s a Baptist church that anoints with oil?!?!?
lol@ amanda. My thoughts exactly
and @ phil – it’s okay mate 🙂
“Wait a sec there’s a baptist church that annoints with oil?”
@Amanda: Yea? What wrong with…oh wait do you consider that charimatic?
@
Confidentiality guaranteed until when…the next time he has dinner with his family, the next staff meeting, the next sermon illustration, the next conversation with a deacon, the next prayer meeting, well you get the point. I’ver learned the hard way that there is never ever anything said in a counseling situation at a church that is kept confidential.
@Phil: I don’t see anything wrong with anointing, nor do I see it as charismatic. I’ve just *never* heard of *any* Baptist church, fundy or otherwise, anointing people. Never. I suspect they *would* see it as charismatic and therefore evil. (FWIW I’m neither Baptist nor fundy, though I was raised both.)
Whoa! I thought this Schapp page was a joke at first.
Incredible….
I was IFB my whole childhood. I was anointed with oil once. I have witnessed it on several occasions in different IFB churches.
@Amanda: I’ve witnessed an annointing twice for people in my church who had cancer and requested to be annointed. Both times it was acknowleged that it was God who healed not the oil itself. After the annointing the the ordained preachers came by the person who was anointed and prayed over them. Like I said before, there are other interpretations: one that is is for spiritual weakness- http://sharperiron.org/article/weakness-or-sickness-look-at james-514
or the othe is that it is medicinal as a remedy for physical weakness from persecution-
jackhammr.wordpress.com/2007/01/17/what-is-the-new-testament-basis-for- praying-for-the-sick/ . I have know idea how to link,but if your interested those are the sights.