I’d like to dedicate this cartoon to anyone who has ever innocently raised their hand in a Sunday School class only to be told that the fact they would even think to ask such a question reveals that their heart was full of rebellion. I feel your pain.
Love the tie.
here I thought he was getting liberal and putting robes on the preacher.
I once had a “youth pastor” tell on me to my parents for asking a question in Sunday School that (inadvertently) revealed his circular logic. Of course that’s not counting the numerous times I got in trouble at home for genuinely asking questions and/or expressing opinions based on my study of Scripture, that just so happened to question the fundy party line. :/
At age seven, I asked why non-Jews sing “Father Abraham” in Sunday School. I was marched out of class and into my father’s class so he could interrupt his teaching to deal with his reprobate son.
Of course, two weeks before, I had spent class time in the corner for asking what the lyrics of “Do Lord” mean, so perhaps I deserved the title of “reprobate” at age seven.
Where in the Bible does it say that syncopation is wrong or that it arouses sexual desires? Heck, where in the Bible does it say that sexual desires are bad? Last time I checked, the NT was in favor of a husband and wife engaging in sexual relations.
That is the question that I wish I was brave enough to stand up and ask in my fundy college chapel.
Now that I think about it, I will wager most regulars who post comments to this site have been accused at some point of evil questioning. Having honest questions answered with self-righteousness and/or accusations of rebellion is probably what starts most people on the path away from Fundyland.
gah. I’ve had a visit from the typo fairy today.
PS. @Kevin, you should probably be glad you did not. It was not a fun experience you missed.
Yes and yes. That feeling of betrayal that comes when a question is turned on you sticks with you for years. In my case, I just stopped asking questions and got answers from elsewhere.
I particularly love the detail of Pastor Stick having a fundamentalist tie length (no longer than than the navel). Not sure if that was intentional, and putting a power red tie on him as he’s using power techniques to stop any kind of undermining his authority. Very excellent use of the stick figures, whom I still love!
Darrell, your artwork is spectacular as always. I really like the tie.
@Christopher, my dad explained Father Abraham using some obscure text and reasoning that I don’t remember. He also changed the words of “Do Lord” to be more theologically acceptable. To this day, if that song gets stuck in my head, I find my self humming, “Do Lord, O do Lord, O help-me-to-remember You…” You kind of have to cram a few words together really fast to make them fit the tune…
“If it’s the Lord’s Supper, why do we have it in the morning?”
“Have we ever had an independent audit of the church books?”
“Could I see a detailed financial statement of the church?”
I asked this question once.
only once.
As always brilliant.
I don’t recall getting chided that often, but that was because I tend to keep things internally. So I’d ask the questions and then answer them myself. I’ve always been a self learner like that. The problem, as a Fundy would see it, is that means I get to choose my own sources and find my own answer.
In retrospect my parents should have been able to see the hand writing on the wall. The few times I would ask my dad questions lead to conversations that you could clearly tell were leading me away from Fundy land.
You mean, like, when you’re about 7 years old and ask, “What does ‘pisseth against the wall’ mean?”
Oy vey.
Wow. It was exactly this set of events that got me on the raod away from fundyland. I started asking questions in my sunday school and bible study that my youth pastor couldnt answer, and instead of finding answers for me he turned everyone in the youth group against me by calling all the “leaders”(brownnosers, who I was a part of at one time) into his office to tell them to “pray” for me becuase i needed guidence and was doubting.This resulted in rumors that spred to the point that I had people asking me if I was a satanist or a lesbian(still dont quite get that one). Eventually I lost all of my friends. I still had to attend that church for a year after this happened becuase of my parents but never asked danother question, I just started reading and finding the answers on my own. If there is a heaven and hell and I go to hell for not believing, and ifwhat the fundys say is correct and that those under a pastors care who go to hell are his responsibility, I hope that before the demons drag me away I get to see him answer for what he did.
@Mark Rosedale
“I don’t recall getting chided that often, but that was because I tend to keep things internally. So I’d ask the questions and then answer them myself. I’ve always been a self learner like that. The problem, as a Fundy would see it, is that means I get to choose my own sources and find my own answer.”
That sounds like me. I started to have questions but I had seen what happened to other people if they ask questions so I did not. I just kept quiet and started to find the answers wherever I could. I read a bunch of books and learned a lot that way. In a way, I am glad it happened like that.
What started me down the path of “evil questioning” was the doctrine of KJVism. That did not make a lot of sense to me. So, I read all of the pro-KJVO books since they were required for school. Those books made little sense to me either so I quietly discarded that belief. The process I just described opened my eyes to the rest of the nonsense fundyism was peddling.
The tie is great! The dialog is brilliant! The truth hurts.
@JessB I think we all clearly know what that means nowadays, and have the authoritative interpretation from Mr. Anderson if anyone asks that question! 🙂
@RobM, too true. I now know that all those verses are telling me that men should pee standing up or else they are not true men. I mean, what other interpretation could there possibly be?!?!? *rolling eyes and shaking head*
I still remember the Sunday when I was thirteen and questioned the reliability of the most holy of all IFB scriptures- The Trail of Blood.
I heard a story out of HAC once about a Sunday school teacher who told her girls’ class that they should never, ever let a man see them naked, not even their husbands. A bus kid innocently asked her, “Is that why you don’t have any children?” Poor bus kid got in trouble for that one.
RE: Do Lord, I still like the lyrics as written. Not sure where they came from but I’ve always liked to imagine/believe/remake them to be in reference to Luke 23:42. I’ve heard lots of people over the years lamenting Do Lord, but I still like it.
Wow, another great post…and illustration! I was always asking questions, just because I am a generally curious person. If I can’t get a satisfactory answer, I will research it myself. I asked many innocent (or so I thought) questions growing up and almost always got shot down. It would drive me nuts especially in school when the teachers would say “there’s no such thing as a dumb question.”. I thought “yeah, right, like hell there isn’t!”
I asked about why we celebrated Christmas in December if Jesus was born in the spring. I asked why they had grape juice in Jesus’ day. I asked why we could go to the video store but not the theater. I asked all the time. I was such a “rebel”, LOL! Like many of you though, my questioning eventually led me out of Fundamentalism.
Do Lord.
Yet another thing I had completely erased from my memory until today.
I’m not happy at having it back. 🙁
@JessB, thank you very very very much! I needed a story like that HAC sunday school class question! I’m fighting off laughing out loud now!
@Elizabeth: That seriously made me laugh out loud. I tried cramming that much together, but it just made me giggle.
@drfiddledd: Money questions? You are CLEARLY touching the Lord’s anointed. ; )
I love this website. It warms my heart strangely.
“I heard a story out of HAC once about a Sunday school teacher who told her girls’ class that they should never, ever let a man see them naked, not even their husbands. A bus kid innocently asked her, “Is that why you don’t have any children?†Poor bus kid got in trouble for that one.”
LOL!!! I would have died laughing if I was there for that one! My mom is/was a Christian school teacher, and she had lots of stories like that. Kids can be brutally honest. She had gray hair prematurely (started in her 20’s). Being fundy, she refused to dye it out of concern for paying too much attention to her looks. Well, kids notice. They would ask her if she was a grandma. She was also a bit overweight, and they would ask her if she was pregnant. Oh, they found lots of ways to endear themselves to her, LOL!
Oh man, this is my life story in church. The elders tell me all I need to do is listen to this sermon on CD or just have “more faith.”
Jesus was right when he said that we look to the scriptures as if they give us eternal life. Sigh.
nicodemusatnite.blogspot.com
LOL @ at the HAC story!
@Darrell
“Do Lord.
Yet another thing I had completely erased from my memory until today.
I’m not happy at having it back. 🙁 ”
Same here. I am going to have to find some way to get that out of my head. The only way I know is to watch a Youtube video of Its a Small World After All.
In college (BJU), I was always nervous about asking questions in class. So when I asked a Bible teacher to clarify a translational discrepancy, I kinda phrased it wrong. The teacher thought I was attacking her personally and called me in for a face-to-face to find out “where my heart was”. I know her motives were kind but it freaked me out so bad I don’t think I ever asked a question in that class again.
Get a Veggie Tales song stuck in your head, that’ll cure it. 😛
paranoia + religeous teacher = evil questions.
Oh yes! Now I have “Do Lord” stuck in my head. Maybe it will replace “Joy, Joy, Joy!” I am 47 and haven’t heard those songs in about 25 years.
The “bus kid” story reminded me of one. Our pastor was teaching about baptism to our “bus kids.” He kept using the term “baptized by immersion.” A boy in the back finally asked, “You keep saying we should be baptized by a virgin. Are YOU a virgin?”
I was the quiet one who learned from seeing others get in trouble from their doubts. I kept the questions silently in my head until the morning I stood at the front door with my bag and a taxi outside and announced that I had a plane to catch because I started boot camp the next day.
Ahhhh this is all so very true. I remember being seven years old and wondering things like “How do we know we’re right? Muslims obviously think they’re right or they wouldn’t live the way they do …” But I knew better than to ask those sort of questions <– and I find this VERY sad.
I knew better than to ask theological questions, but standards … once when I was about 12, I asked (very innocently and out of a desire to know WHY) why we didn't go to the theater when 1) we could rent the movies or watch them at home and 2) a lot of other good Christians we knew went. I (naively) was sure there was a good reason, I just wanted to know what it was. Well, I was told that going to the theater gave the "appearance of evil" since nobody knew what movie we were seeing. This didn't make sense to me. I asked if that was true, then why did we rent movies at Blockbuster (this was when all the cases were the same on the outside) and why did we eat at places that served alcohol, like Chili's? Wasn't that the same idea?
Again, to my young mind, if something was true then it would hold up to questioning. So there was no harm in asking. Right?
Wrong. I was told I was backslidden for even asking such a question. I was told my heart was in the wrong place because I was trying to find wiggle room to do evil things. This only taught me that I couldn't ask questions any more because my motives (which had been innocent!) were going to be questioned.
The discussion here proves another thing about fundamentalism – it generally suffers from a chronic case of sense-of-humour-failure.
It’s also known as Irony Deficiency
@Apathetic or whatever
Try “Everyone’s a Little Bit Racist” from Avenue Q, or perhaps “The Song That Goes Like This” from Spamalot…
This is why they sing Father Abraham.
Romans 4.16:
For this reason it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his descendants, not only to the adherents of the law but also to those who share the faith of Abraham (for he is the father of all of us,
Anyone remember question and answer time with Jack Hyles every Sunday? I remember one guy every week would ask him questions like why a Baptist shouldn’t wear a pink shirt, if there were aliens or how to find a mate. I think half the auditorium cringed when he put his hand up because 75% of the time Hyles would rip him. lol..it was an entertaining hour…
Our preacher preached on Moses, and how God told him to remove his shoes because he was on Holy ground. He screamed, pounded, and got all red faced over removing our shoes when on Holy ground……Then we sang the song Holy Ground.
He was not happy when I asked why no one took their shoes off.
@Josh
That was just mean! Now I am going to have to get those out of my head! “Do Lord” should suffice.
I will NEVER forget the ONLY church business meeting in all my years of fundyland where someone had discussion opposed to the pastor’s “recommendation” that was presented as the recommendation from the deacons. People were stunned. There was this total silence and people looking around and looks of disgust from the really righteous. Several of the deacons then stood up to defend the man’o’gawd and the last one gave the lecture on accepting the pastor’s authority as from GOD and used some proof-text verse. The two “rebellious” couples left the church.
This cartoon is only funny because it is so true. Great tie!!
The TIE!! HAHAHAHA! I love that tie!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OMVDoSQuow
You’re welcome!
Now you all, I just got my copies of _Here is my Question, Dr. Rice_ and _But I’ve got another question for you, Dr. Rice_. Or whatever they call them. There’s the original and the sequel.
And I can assure you that in fundyland, there is no question so stupid as it can’t be asked of Dr. Rice. Is ventriloquism wrong? (no) Is the space program wrong? (no) Are cards wrong? (Flashcards with Bible verses = good. Playing cards = bad. Rook = up to you) Are pants on women wrong? (Of course!) Is integrated swimming wrong? (YES!!! You don’t want the white kids to get VD from the black kids!!) Is polygamy wrong? (no!)
He answers every stupid question with some even stupider answers. Occasionally, he gets something right. He’s righter about some things that Bob Jones Sr. . . . and yeah, it pains me to say that. It really does.
@Dan Keller aren’t you just quite the precious little blessing! 🙂
DanK made my afternoon