69 thoughts on “Skirts”

  1. I wish they could have been depicted in beautiful Gothard-style jean skirts. That would have made my day.

  2. the cartoonist doesn’t know how to draw boobs either so it’s all good.

    Thank GOODNESS, cause boobs are INCREDIBLY uncomely, and frankly if you could draw them, you would need to be able to draw the tops so that you couldn’t tell any boobs were there anyway! I second @TomK topless women is heathen filth! 🙂

  3. You know you’re a fundy if you ever got jealous of flat-chested women because it’s so much easier for them to dress modestly! 😛

  4. @Kat
    sadly at during my dark days as a fundy i hated my D cups for that very reason!!! 🙁

  5. @tigersharksteph

    I did, too. I still go to an “IFB” church, but this one doesn’t make me feel guilty for the way God created me. Besides, I’m a nursing mom now, and there’s really no way to hide my “curves” lol.

  6. @Kat – And if you have enough “shape” no amount of fabric will make a difference. Even in full fundy dress code I still had a fundy lady tell me that she would be embarrassed for her husband to see me because I would surely cause him to lust. I responded politely, but later thought “Geez woman. If you’re that worried about your husband’s thoughts, you’ve got bigger problems than I can help you with!”

  7. @Pita

    You’re right! I think some fundy men are looking for something to lust at, so they can complain about it and put women under more bondage.

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for modesty! I don’t think modesty can be defined by a particular dress code, though. It’s about what’s in the heart (and any woman who is led by the Spirit will know what she should and should not wear in public).

    Btw, I do wear pants. Modest ones. The other day, I slipped and fell in Walmart and pretty much did the splits, and boy was I glad I had a pair of jeans on!

  8. haha! This reminds me of how my friend’s mother used to taked a Sharpie and draw skirts or dresses on every single female character in all her children’s picture books. Why would little girl or animal characters need skirts? To prevent a little 8 yr old boy or some creepy man from lusting? The same family also prohibited mixed bathing in their pool, AND made girls wear jumpers over our swim suits…. I remember I wore a particularly ugly brown corduroy one…. Can I say, drowning hazard????

  9. It’s good to see the rest of stick family! You could solve the “boob” problem by drawing them in denim jumpers, just draw a rectangle with a head 😉

    I always got annoyed that women were really screwed when it came to dress. Oh, sure, guys didn’t have it easy, but that was more out of just horrible fashion sense, rather than modesty. I remember the poor girls in skirts on the playground. Any time one of them was climbing on a jungle gym or whatever, there were boys trying to get a peek. You’d think pants would prevent that, but…no.

  10. You could do text boobies ( * )( * )

    Skirts can be blown straight up by a good gust of wind….ask how I know….and in front of the president/VP/ and assorted higher ups of the university who happened to be approaching from the opposite direction on the sidewalk.

  11. @me

    Sometimes I wonder if some “funnymentalists” preach “skirts only” just so they might see something on a windy day. Not all of ’em are perverts, but there are a few I wonder about…

  12. @Kat

    Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for modesty! I don’t think modesty can be defined by a particular dress code, though. It’s about what’s in the heart (and any woman who is led by the Spirit will know what she should and should not wear in public).

    Exactly. And I’ve wondered if all the obsessing over precisely how each body part should be covered, supported, etc etc has actually encouraged more lust than it has prevented. If you’re always looking around evaluating how people’s bodies are covered, you’re thinking about bodies an awful lot.

    I’d feel comfortable wearing certain things in public, knowing that most normal guys wouldn’t even look twice at me. But I wouldn’t wear those same things around fundy men, because I always have the creepy feeling they’re visually “sizing me up.”

  13. @Kat, et al….
    This thread reminds me of, I think the title of the (gasp!) movie was “Bob and Carol, Ted and Alice,” and I believe there was a scene where they were talking about sex (shock.. horror) and the gist of the scene went like this:

    “I believe that, if when God kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden of Eden, he had given Eve earmuffs and Adam gloves…. men would now be obsessed with putting their fingers in women’s ears.”

    So it does not matter how well you cover the parts, the obsession and desire is in the mind.

    btw did anyone see Yahoo or Google news this week where Pakistan (the land of the Burka) is the world’s leader in pornography related searches.

  14. Haha! Poor stick people.

    You should draw obese stick people. That’s an oxymoron.

    Here are some topics for future posts: FBN- the Fundamental Broadcasting Network. Not sure how many people have heard of it, but there are many towers in the NC/SC region of the country. Wouldn’t be so bad except that most of the music sounds EXACTLY the same. Almost everyone in my church listens to that station and I don’t understand why.

  15. Oh yes, I’ve have heard of FBN and have actually listened to it at times. The station in our town has about 2 watts of power so you can hear it as long as you can see the station and not much further. Even in front of the sponsoring IFB Church, it is very difficult to pick it up. But that is a good thing!

  16. As I’ve mentioned before, this is the main problem my fundy family and former fundy church had when I joined the military.

    Watch out for those ultra-baggy ABU pants and thick, loose ABU top. I’m sure men can’t keep from thinking dirty thoughts when they see those…

  17. Yeah, there are many things that ArmyACU’s are — “attractive” is not one that springs to mind.

  18. Modesty is about perception. Case in point (well 2 cases) – #1 Years ago I bartended at Seville Quarter in Pensacola. To my surprise I found out that many of the other males who worked in this very large, and debauched, nightclub loved to drive around the PCC campus. When I asked why, I was told it’s because PCC girls dress sexy. #2 Just this week I was enjoying a brew with my lawyer/friend and he began asking me questions about BJU, which is where I went to college. FYI – I live in Greenville. He asked me why if BJU is so concerned about people having sex do they let the girls dress so provocatively.

    I’ve blown many a fundy’s mind with the first anecdote. Now with this second anecdote I’m hoping to cause at least one fundy to go into a coma.

  19. @John

    It’s probably because those girls that keep their skirts “knee-length” are wearing them in such a way that they still attract attention. At my old church, the girls all followed the dress code, but they were as immodest as the women in Hollywood. It’s all about the way they wore the “modest” clothes. They were flashy and still drew attention to way too much.

    Like a good ole preacher once said, you can make some girls wear a burlap sack and they’d STILL find a way to make it “sexy”. It’s all about the heart.

    1. So what’s wrong with wanting to look “sexy”?

      I can’t prevent anyone’s sin but my own. Which means that while I may not deliberately try to incite some random man’s lust, I’m also not going to let that random man’s lust dictate my life’s choices.

  20. I remember when my sister was still in a private high school, they were taking a school trip to an amusement park and she had asked the principal if she could wear jeans. He said no, because it would “show off the shape of her leg”, thus she was stuck wearing ankle-length skirts. Well with those kinds, as the comic pointed out, you wouldn’t know a woman even HAD legs!

  21. We had some friends with a very large family who colored in clothing in the books where infants and toddlers were dressed only in underwear or diapers.

    Legalism has the unfortunate effect of getting one’s focus off the main thing.

  22. Like a good ole preacher once said, you can make some girls wear a burlap sack and they’d STILL find a way to make it “sexy”.

    Yep, see…. it’s always the woman’s fault. Sexy burka babes… oh yeah! 🙂

    …so it doesn’t matter what is or isn’t covered, most of sex takes place in the mind anyway…

  23. @Don let’s face it, it ALL has to be covered! 🙂

    I’m not much of a fan of the “sexy is in her attitude”, and if you could go check out women anywhere in Pensacola, and you choose to cruise PCC campus, I’m questioning your decision making abilities. When you make that poor of a choice for “where the girls are”, it’s no wonder you find PCC girls sexy! 🙂

  24. The big problem here is that the woman carries most of the responsibility for what the man chooses to meditate on. I’m not a big reductio ad absurdum fan, but they’ve already taken it this far, so maybe we should take some clues from Song of Solomon and cover up our smiles, teeth, eyes, hair, temples, necks, feet… oh yeah, and not let anyone hear our voices.

    I’ve known a lot of beautiful, intelligent, independent girls that didn’t get asked out much in fundy college. Guys have told me it was because those girls were intimidating. I wonder if some men’s lust for modestly-dressed women is actually a part of their lust for easy power and control.

    1. “I’ve known a lot of beautiful, intelligent, independent girls that didn’t get asked out much in fundy college. Guys have told me it was because those girls were intimidating.”

      I wasn’t particularly beautiful I don’t think, but I know I sure intimidated a lot of guys 😀 Didn’t help that I was taller then most of then….

  25. Pita, that is more profound than you know. I had returned to this site to make a joke about it actually being a schoolmarm fetish, but your comment is dead on accurate I do believe.

    Power is everything.

  26. @Kat
    “Like a good ole preacher once said, you can make some girls wear a burlap sack and they’d STILL find a way to make it “sexy”. It’s all about the heart.”

    Yes, but what about the man’s “heart”?

    @Rob
    “and if you could go check out women anywhere in Pensacola, and you choose to cruise PCC campus, I’m questioning your decision making abilities. When you make that poor of a choice for “where the girls are”, it’s no wonder you find PCC girls sexy! ”

    I agree. I don’t know your background or where you went to college, but I grew up fundy and attended BJU. I spent my 20’s living as a pagan, but my perception was still different from those around me. I had the hardest time wrapping my mind around why these guys, who worked in a nightclub where it was common to see people having sex in the allyways (if you’ve been to Seville you understand what I mean by “allyways”), would “cruise” PCC to look at girls. I thought, “Why go there when you can see whatever you want, and more of it, here?” It was more of the same when I moved back to Greenville for a short time. I encountered the same mindset about BJU girls. And these guys weren’t speaking about the girls who, “It’s probably because those girls that keep their skirts ‘knee-length’ are wearing them in such a way that they still attract attention.” as Kat put it. I’m sure with many of these guys it was about “power”, but not all. As a follower of King Jesus now, I can attest to the fact that when I fall into lust it doesn’t really matter what the girl is wearing. Which brings me back to what I asked Kat, “What about the man’s heart?” So now, as a Trinitarian, I have a better understanding of those guy’s perception. I understand that lust isn’t about the girl, but about the man, and his sin.

  27. P.S. True fundy college dating story: I went on a “pity date” with a guy who was a friend of a friend. During dinner, he told me that he wanted to go to Africa as a missionary. He said he knew he was going to see naked women all the time so he was looking for a nice modest wife to bring with him so he wouldn’t get frustrated. I almost got sick right on my cafeteria tray.

  28. I find the claim that the cartoonist doensn’t know how to draw legs *highly* dubious. It’s quite clear that he just drew legs and then connected them at the bottom with a third line and shaded in the resultant triangle!

    Lies! Have you repented brother? You’d better get right with gid.

  29. I went to an elementary and junior high school where they emphasized that all men’s sexual sins were the fault of immodest women. Nope, sorry, men are responsible for their own thoughts. If you are a Christian man, I am your sister in Christ. Do you look at your biological sister and think lustful thoughts? NO. You choose not to. I am your sister, and you can choose to think of me as your sister and not a sex object.

    En Crust,
    OptownHappie

  30. Wow. So much theology around something that is basic biology. When you take sin out of this equation, the house of cards tumbles. I can’t help what some random man (or woman) thinks of my body, I just choose not to act on that. I choose to be faithful to my husband, ’cause that’s what I promised to do, but the day they stop making those Old Spice commercials will be a sad sad day.

    Besides, God knows I have curves, he gave ’em to me.

  31. @PITA I don’t even wanna know how it is working out for that guy, the Africans and/or his family if he found some girl to marry him.

  32. To the person mentioning FBN, I can see a possible slogan.

    Fundamentalist Broadcasting Network: Radio for those who think BBN is too “contemporary” (keep in mind the closest BBN EVER got to CCM is a very rare Steve Green song).

  33. @Jacob

    There are four Christian radio stations in my area: one that plays mostly black gospel, one that is mostly preaching and talk shows (very little music) and is from Liberty University, BBN which plays a little bit better music than FBN. Sometimes BBN plays Hamilton music and Crown choir music, whereas FBN plays mostly really old recordings, home-made recordings, something along that line. And preaching. I heard a message from Dr. Bob Jones Sr. once.

  34. Ah, reminds me of this tripe I stumbled across a while back, but can’t stop fuming over:
    http://www.momof9splace.com/sinof.html

    Many thanks to this anonymous brother in Christ for pointing out Bathsheba’s sin. I’m certain the author of II Samuel meant to include it but just forgot. Of course the entire David/Bathsheba tragedy was the immodest woman’s fault! Makes perfect sense to me.

    1. “You must accept it on the word of a man.” Well, that about sums up the whole article, doesn’t it? Wow! She doesn’t just limit herself to railing against pants, she also hits knit tops and sleeveless shirts! I never knew my armpits were such a turnon to men! What if I never shaved? Would they still be titillating?

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