Do you want to get a degree for ministry but don’t want to bother learning Greek, Hebrew, or even English Grammar? Have we got the place for you!
Gulf Coast Bible Institute provides the following courses that are indispensable for any fundamentalist preacher boy who is headed into the ministry.
CL-018 Overcoming Sinful Habits (3 Credits)
BI-009 Music Evaluation (2 Credit)
TS-024 Sins of the last days (1 Credit)
CL-006 Conquer Impure Thoughts (.5 Credits)
If you’re a woman you can take:
LA-001 Spiritual Needs of Husbands in lieu of BI-003 Preaching Techniques.
They do NOT, however, give out honorary degrees. Pity.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually do AGREE with them on the honorary degree thing. As someone who is currently putting a great deal of work, time, and money into earning a terminal degree I do tend to find honorary degrees pretty offensive.
Love how they keep mentioning tapes. Honestly, who listens to them these days? Also, love the classy shadow fonts they use. If there’s one thing I appreciate about my IFB alma mater (besides being the #1 reason I’m no longer a fundamentalist) is that it was at least accredited. That’s a lot more than I can say about basement Bible colleges like GCBI…
They have a 2-hour course in Ruth for lady students. You can read the whole book in 20 minutes. What are you going to talk about for the other 31 hours and 40 minutes?
They call this education?
did you see the book biblical segregation in the bookstore? what? what? what?!!?!?
Are they serious?
What kind of culottes Ruth wore?
Before you guys go filling out the application, just be aware of the degree revocation clause. Apparently “perspective” students have to agree to hold to the 1611 version of the King James Bible as God’s ONLY Word in English for the rest of their lives.
“Coast Bible Institute desires students who hold a firm conviction on the
King James Bible (AV 1611). When we become aware of a graduate of
our school who no longer believes that the King James Bible is the ONLY
infallible, inerrant, Word of God in English, we will promptly REVOKE any
degrees bestowed to that student from our school. We do not wish for any
such person to be known to hold a degree from GCBI. Perspective
students are made aware of this clause before enrolling in our school. The
alumnus will be notified and asked to provide a reason for changing his
position on the King James Bible, before we administer this clause.”
(http://www.gcbi.org/admission.html)
I like how the webmaster is a volunteer, but he goes under the “Faculty” section, not the “Volunteers” section ( http://www.gcbi.org/faculty.html ). I guess because “he’s a man, baby”.
What a shame my husband and I don’t live closer–we could enroll simultaneously in the husband and wife program. Such a disappointment! 😉
“When we become aware of a graduate of our school who no longer believes that the King James Bible is the ONLY infallible, inerrant, Word of God in English, we will promptly REVOKE any degrees bestowed to that student from our school. ”
Glad my alma mater doesn’t have a similar clause.
I’ll have to admit. A student jumping in any time must be a hassle on those poor professors.
And did you read the student testimonials? Love how they all just have initials and no real names…Wonder why? 🙂
And man. I wish I could go to school for that cheap.
And I also wonder what the accelerated Bible studies course is like…Haha