king james version

Friday Challenge: Names for Other Bible Versions

33 Comments

niv
Fundamentalists are great for coming up with jingos and cute phrases to describe those with whom they disagree.

Perhaps nowhere is this evidenced more than in the realm of Bible Versions. Today’s challenge is to list your favorite ‘pet name’ for other translations of the Bible.

Here are a few to get us started:

Non Inspired Version
Bad New For Modern Man
Not King James Version…

What are yours?

33 thoughts on “Friday Challenge: Names for Other Bible Versions”

  1. I have frequently heard fundies call the NIV the NHIV obviously trying to slander the NIV by lumping it in with the HIV/Aids tragedy of our day.

  5. Ah, come on. How ’bout, “perVersion”? You know, modern “perVersions”. That’s common.

    Jack Hyles used to joke about the Hyles International Version (HIV) to somehow tie NIV to HIV.

  6. It’s sad really. If they actually took the time to read one of the “perVersions” they would see how much they are really affected by the Elizabethan English. The Bible came alive to me when I started reading from an ESV.

  10. NIV = “New Illuminati Version”.

    These versions, in order to receive a patent, must make “a significant change” from the original work.

    Some versions introduce terms like “The Way”, which is also the title for sources of witchcraft and sorcery such as taught by Carlos Casteneda and Ken Eagle Feather.

    False doctrines have been introduced through commentaries. Example: the rapture came first in the Scoffield bible, which had just been purchased by satanists. (Recently sold to the Chinese).

    The Zondervan Bible is published by Larry Flint, owner of Penthouse magazine. His bible sales do so well, I read in an article last year, he is expanding his porn business. Flint also publishes Saddleback church’s Rick Warren books. These include the purpose driven life apostasy.

    The Lord once told me in prayer, “To perform my perfect will, THAT is purpose.” By tone, I understood He does not like that book at all.

    I read the KJV, and pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal to me the meaning.

    And so should you.

    1. HELP!…is this post serious or not? If it is satire, it’s beautiful…if not, than just disturbing

  12. Translations don’t receive patents, they receive copyrights, and there are copyrights pertaining specifically to works in translation. Also, Zondervan isn’t a Bible version (I own KJVs published by Zondervan–what about those?), it’s a publishing house, and it isn’t owne by Larry Flint, it’s owned by HarperCollins, which in turn is owned by News Corporation, which was founded and is chaired by Rupert Murdoch.

  13. NIV = “New Illuminati Version”.

    These versions, in order to receive a patent, must make “a significant change” from the original work.

    Some versions introduce terms like “The Way”, which is also the title for sources of witchcraft and sorcery such as taught by Carlos Casteneda and Ken Eagle Feather.

    False doctrines have been introduced through commentaries. Example: the rapture came first in the Scoffield bible, which had just been purchased by satanists. (Recently sold to the Chinese).

    The Zondervan Bible is published by Larry Flint, owner of Penthouse magazine. His bible sales do so well, I read in an article last year, he is expanding his porn business. Flint also publishes Saddleback church’s Rick Warren books. These include the purpose driven life apostasy.

    The Lord once told me in prayer, “To perform my perfect will, THAT is purpose.” By tone, I understood He does not like that book at all.

    I read the KJV, and pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal to me the meaning.

    And so should you.

    I really wish I had written this. This is great stuff.

  14. “False doctrines have been introduced through commentaries. Example: the rapture came first in the Scoffield bible, which had just been purchased by satanists. (Recently sold to the Chinese).”

    Never thought I’d meet a fundy who in one breath denied the rapture AND slammed the Scofield Bible. Those Scofields are so revered that I’ve been told a few times that only Scofields up to a certain year of publishing were inspired, and that after that they all contained error.

    Oh, nice with the misspelled Scofield thing – took me three passes to notice the juvenile internet humor, eg. “Scofield? More like SCOFField, amirite?”

  17. Next time an IFBx tells you the MVs are unbiblical ‘cos they are copyrighted (i.e. ‘works of man’) tell them the KJV is NOT Public domain in the UK – it’s copyright under the British Crown.

  20. I once heard Kent “Dr. Dino” Hovind refer to the RSV as the Reviled Substandard Version.

  23. in one of john piper’s sermons, he decries the niv because they “left out” some of the words that the esv had. i know their different versions than the kjv, but he’s seriously a fundy when it comes to the esv. nothing wrong with the esv or the niv, but get over it, man.

    i had a preacher at a friend’s church tell me once that the niv was ok but not prefered and that i should check out the kjv.

    we always called the niv the “nearly inspired version.” not as dramatic, but certainly not as accurate as the nasb. i personally use what i like to call “the baptist bible” – hcsb.

  24. Another Hovind NIV nickname (my favorite of any of these) is “Nearly Inspired Version”.

    Wonder if the same people blasting the Zondervan published Bibles would willingly give up FOX News?

    2. As of this date, this page has 2 whole “likes” and as many wall posts, both published by the page owner 🙄

    3. FB page says, “say no to satan”…that’s right satan…you’re not gonna trick me with a well-written, easy to understand, arguably very accurate translation of the best manuscripts we have by a large number of highly qualified scholars…not falling for that!

  26. This may not be the most appropriate thread to say this, but if I am asked, “Which is the best Bible?” (and I have to admit that I am seldom asked that anymore), my answer is “The Bible that will be read.”

    This is not flippant and it’s not a joke. The Bible is meant to be read, to be understood and remembered. The flashiest, most expensive edition of any version of the Bible is worth nothing if it just sits on the shelf gathering dust and cobwebs. The Bible, any Bible, the least famous version of the Bible, counts for more than that if it is being read, and read often, and understood.

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